3788 - Get Ready

It's New Year's Eve again, I'm not going out
I usually stay in then, this year's the same
Done a little comedy work, but should
Do more tomorrow. Apathy to blame?
Maybe, but went shopping, bought new clothes home
A nice new jumper and three pairs of socks
Posted Pearl's birthday card, and once again
Had fun messaging Jenny while I watched
Thunderbirds Are Go, with snakes made of rocks
Other than that, began reading the art
Book bought in Krakow, going by the name
'The Artist's Body'. On the starting blocks
For the end of '16 and then the start
Of '17, and God knows what's to come...!

3787 - Tea for two

An easy day at work chatted with Mark
Sonia and Cesar, good fun, not much done
Although I went through all emails and worked
Through them, answering difficult questions
I've just realised that I have forgotten
Pearl's birthday card, must go out now and buy
One from Sainsburys, but posting it - when?
I must go out now and get one, no lie
Maybe also some beer. Carla's home. I
Had tea with her - salami - pulled the cork
On a bottle of Prosecco. Great fun
Told her about Jenny. Now she must try
To wind down before tomorrow's hard work
At Caffe Nero. I feel like a strum!

3786 - Memoirs and maybes

Last night was mainly spent in messaging
Jenny, drinking and smoking, but I did
Play some uke before Jenny came texting
Might message her later, but I still need
To finish this sonnet. Finished my read
Of 'Memoirs of a Geisha' - next up, it's
'The Artist's Body' - costly but agreed
A worthy spend in Krakow of Polish
Zlotys unspent, with lots of sexy pix
Might re-read 'Fetish' soon, a book dating
From the nineties, might give ideas that would
Be fun to try soon with that Midland minx
It may not last but I'm up for a fling
And doing things to make us flip our lids

3785 - Home Alone

A nice day off, shopped, washed clothes, etc
In time to watch Hound of the Baskervilles
A classic '59 Hammer Horror
Now it's Father of the Bride on the tells
(Television, dummy). Might watch more films
The post-Christmas days are the best time to
Watch stuff you've never seen. Relaxing thrills
A culture catch-up, music / news review
These are also on TV now for you
In a constant stream at this time of year
Moneywise, I've paid all the Christmas bills
Even been to Poland this month (Krakow)
Even given Pearl birthday money for
Next month, but there's two hundred quid left, still!

3784 - Xmas at Mum's 4

Dozed fairly late, then had mum's cooked breakfast
Whatever it's like, that's always the best
Soon after, another walk with Robin
He drove to Hoylake, it's a position
Between West Kirby and New Brighton where
We walked yesterday, Wirral peninsula
Much milder, almost no wind, climate change
Evidence maybe - it just seems so strange
To be so mild in late December here
At the seaside where wind and cold should smear
The brave walkers with elemental pain
But none of that, dogs and humans conjoined
For harmless fun walks on the sand and prom
Best enjoy it, I guess, before it's gone

3783 - Xmas at Mum's 3

A pleasant sunny cold day, took a walk
With Robin, along the prom, by the sea
In New Brighton and Egremont, and talked
And we even took the odd joint selfie
Came back for lunch, repeat of yesterday
Food-wise - sprouts, broccoli, pots and turkey
Football took up two hours, but no Derby
Or Liverpool games to follow today
More TV, then a Chinese takeaway
Followed by remains of the trifle. Looked
At Coronation Street, and then enjoyed
Bob Monkhouse and Mike Yarwood as they lurched
Towards the end, then watched The Good Old Days
From '59, then watched Match of the Day

Mon 26 December

3782 - Xmas at Mum's 2

Christmas Day at Mum's - Robin is here too
Had a nice relaxing time, feel quite full
But not uncomfortable. Messages through
The dayfrom Jenny - dating possible
But there's a big age gap, impossible
To deny, so I didn't try, I gave
My age of 53 to a young girl
Of 34, that's probably killed her love
But no other option - I couldn't save
The situation. Nothing I could do
Maybe my love-life has just hit a wall
But if so, I don't feel I have to prove
Anything anymore, just drink some brew
She's still messaging, so I'll say Good Yule!

Sun 25 December

3781 - Xmas at Mum's 1

A confused morning, just getting ready
Packing my bag, watching Jeremy Kyle
Previous night's drinking wine made unsteady
And slow, but eventually walked the mile
To Piccadilly, then Lime Street, in style
In my new brown leather jacket, yes sir
Keeps me warm, but no hood. Rain would be vile
But it stayed dry, Merseyrail, bus journey
Birkenhead Park, through Upton, to Greasby
Got off the bus, a Chinese takeaway
Was right there, fish and chips, brought home a pile
For me and Mum. Got message from Jenny
A girl I met on Thursday, she likes me
Good chat with Mum, read at bedtime. Good Yule!

Sat 24 December

3780 - Festive restorative

A lovely family Christmas day, oh yes
P was a little feisty there at first
But in the end all was fun and less stress
Despite Storm Barbara, the meal was the best
The Laundrette was great, Irish coffee thirst-
Quencher for me. P and J went shopping
Me, V and L caught tram back, then a burst
Of comedy discussion, then returning
Girls, followed by lively board game playing
The usual loud levels, egg nog success
Made by P, J had some and liked it! Cursed
Day not, then took J home by taxi-ing
Carla meanwhile's back home in near Venice
Loving the proper food, full fit to burst!

3779 - The wonder of you

I waited til the evening was over
Before doing this sonnet, glad I did
Because I can now say how it went, the
Tedium, wonder how to describe it
People are dull, but still me and Richard
Agreed on Stevie Wonder albums, and
That Innervisions was his best, still good
Stuff was found on Talking Book, but the grand
Stuff was after that, not the poppy sound
Of Songs In The Key Of Life, popular
Though that was, we'd best focus on the mid-
Career funky synth stuff, you wanna dance
But also think, that's what you get, Inner
Visions is the best album, we agreed

3778 - The gift

Whew! What a high-achievement evening - I
Have got home, exercised, and wrapped presents
Eaten some pasta, chick peas and a pie
Caught up with news, chatted to Carla, sensed
I could wrap her gift as she slept - success -
She emerged just afterwards, saw it wrapped
She said that looks so nice, and I said yes -
It's for you! She was so pleased, almost clapped
We hugged, I wished her Merry Christmas, chat
Followed as she cooked. Postponed our drink. She flies
To Italy on Christmas Eve, but dense
Diaries this time of year meant a new pact -
We'll go out on the 30th, that's Friday -
New Year's Eve Eve - that meal will be pleasant!

3777 - You go to my head

Preparing for tonight's comedy show
At the King's Arms, there's still plenty of time
As I did yesterday, managed to go
Home early from work, and I felt so fine
Last night, I wrote new stuff, a few new lines
Of comedy and song lyric, not bad
I started rehearsing it then, my mind
Going over it, getting it in my head
Reasonably well-learned when I went to bed
As for tonight, I've eaten, and I know
The song words quite well. Just need to refine
My chord-playing, a chore often deferred
If I mess up, it's not too bad a blow
But application, that's success defined

3776 - Back in the old routine

Good sleep, woke fairly early, worked full day
But able to leave around four fifteen
Enabling me to do a lot - did the
Exercise routine back home, then writing
Comedy set for tomorrow evening
The Christmas Party at King's Arms, Salford
After that, good uke and guitar playing
To Bowie, New Order and to Leonard
Cohen, plus Bryan Ferry - not as hard
As it once was, but it's still more easy
At home than onstage, and that's not changing
So practice more and more, get the reward
Then I learned my lyrics of comedy
Should eat, but drinking the wine that I won!

3775 - Friends in the end

A nice day not doing nothing but not hard
Work either, just arranging a few things
Over the approaching Christmas period
It's been a nice snug day, with the heating
On the whole time, mine and Carla's washing
Both done. Where has today gone? I'm not sure
I feel guilty, but I am punishing
Myself a little, maybe. Jokes galore?
No, nothing new written, it makes me sore
But I've asked for two gigs, and my reward
Is I've got one at least. Also eating
Out next Thursday night, Meet-Up friends once more
Should be fun. I am fairly rarely bored
These days, I feel focused and emerging!

3774 - Absence makes the heart grow fonder

A nice family day, both daughters seen
And Vee, the ex-missus, at her new flat
And Christmas shopping in the Arndale, done
Not much more to do now, just wrapping, that
Will then be handed out when we next meet
On Friday, at Vee's flat, then it's a meal
At that cool new restaurant, The Laundrette
I really am lucky to have these real
Lovely people in my family, we'll
Just continue to stay close and have fun
The watchword when we're together, no spats
Maybe partly because we didn't feel
We saw too much of each other, but come
Together in friendliness, there's no hate

3773 - Papa's lost his brand new bag

A good works night, lasted from twelve til ten
Or ten thirty, not sure, but home now, and
It's now nearly twelve, so that was good, then
My bag's in the office, charger, I'll sound
Out the possibilities, get my hands
On it tomorrow, on the way to see
Jo in Wilmslow, and sort out her presents
And in Manchester, buy her gifts for me
I'm quite drunk, but I've been worse, honestly
Good chats with most of them, with most of them
They are a good bunch, mostly they are sound
No, all of them, they all are, honestly
So now it's bed time, it's now midnight ten
I hope I get a good night's sleep, and, and...

3772 - Uke can be serious!

I've been mentally slow today, I guess
Because of two hard days and nights, drinking
Quite late both times. Tonight I must not stress
Or do too much. Ukulele playing
And guitar playing went well, still getting
Better, felt I'd gained from Tuesday's live show
And all the practice I'd done, preparing
Found I could play it better than before
Was bashing out rock and prog tunes, yeah, saw
A real improvement - hurray for practice!
And, to show us that Christmas is coming
Tomorrow's the office meal. So there's no
Need to eat much, but I'm starving, so let's
Put something on a plate and get eating!

3771 - Gig giggles and beer goggles

I am a bit drunk right now, if honest
After work, went with Steve to the Dockyard
That started me off on the beer, the rest
Is history... Good chat with Carla, had
To find out about last night, when she did
A gig in Liverpool. It sounds as though
In many ways it was a nightmare. Bad
As my night in Leeds, then! At least I 'd go
Quite well into my routine, but hers, no
Microphone problems, AJ Hill, he's pissed
And trying to chat her up, not saying she's bored
But she was, and anyway, it's a no
So now, I need to harness my own fist
Of fun, or pun, or anything. My word!

3770 - A hard rain did fall

It really was a day of hard work - boy!
A day off work, but no contradiction
I spent the day rehearsing, an alloy
Of constant thinking through the set and going
For long walk to get hair cut in the rain
And running through the ukulele chords
I left soon after four, a bus to gain
Got wet again, but there was more discord
Stuck in cold Shudehill bus station, a hoard
Of other let-down passengers as they
Like me, waited almost three hours for one
Or another Megabus then to board
Mine was to Leeds, so late, but gig ahoy!
Got there in nick of time and did my turn!

3769 - Work hard, laugh hard

Woke at quarter to six, and that was it
No more sleep, so now I'm pretty knackered
Must go to bed early, recharge, feel fit
For going to Leeds with my comedy set
Established in my mind, for full effect
I've improved the set, done a second draft
That's important, important to direct
More effort than in the past. Folks have laughed
But could laugh more. To not try hard is daft
On my part. I work hard at work. Can't split
Work and comedy that way - both are hard
If you do them well. Comedy's a craft
It can't be perfected in a minute
A moment's idea is slowly sculpted

3768 - Family entertainment

A great visit to Vee's with Louis too
He revealed his TV ideas are bearing
Fruit in London, and also, asked me to
Send him some comedy info with links
To stand-up venues - yes, he is thinking
About doing it himself, just like me
So after this sonnet I'll try sending
Him info about comedy nights he
Could possibly attend. Great to hear he
Is confident about trying the new
Rock n roll, hee hee, and I'll be helping
Him to get started! This came completely
Out of the blue! Yes, right out of the blue!
Before I get too drunk, some rehearsing!

3767 - Travis Pickle

A nice day doing nothing, just a quick
Walk to the supermarket for bog roll
Was all, oh, and wrote a new set, quite slick
For next Tuesday evening in Leeds that will
Hopefully not be as cold and wet, still
Freeze at the thought of last month's gig there, snow
Almost fell, instead, it rained on me til
I thought I was Travis. Better there, though
Where James was a good host, than that bozo
Who buggered up the audienceless Lymm gig.
If I have learned from that, then that dreadful
Night will have been worthwhile. Changing style to
Contain fewer jokes, no bad acting, stick
To being me, just like I am, poor soul

3766 - What to do?

Back at work, working hard, and chatting, too
Glad I went in and didn't take more leave
Back home, did exercises, wee'd in loo
Carla had the heat on, as you'd believe
She's turned it off now, but we'll need to leave
It on for my clothes to dry, soon. She's up
Now, after post-work rest, meant to retrieve
Energy after a long shift with cups
Of coffee for ungrateful gals and chaps
In Caffe Nero, Deansgate. Told her to
Hurry up and change jobs, so she can give
Comedy a decent shot, stay on top
And not exhaust herself. Now, what to do
Tonight? Not sure, would you Adam and Eve?

3765 - Krackers in Krakow 4

I'm home now, but I'll summarise my day
Another shit breakfast, City Hostel
In Old Krakow. I only had til 3
On this final day there, and then shuttle
By train back to the airport, Liverpool
The touchdown place. Nice walk 'cross the river
Wisla (Vistula). Schindler's factory full
It seemed, of tourist hordes, so I preferred
The Modern Art Museum choice, and, fair
Enough, I liked it. Bought a book, to pay
Out my remaining zlotys. Lunch, a Pole's
Favourite, pierogi (dumplings) - lovely fare
Simple and satisfying. Then away
Back home in no time. Poland - you did well!

3764 - Krackers in Krakow 3

Today I'd planned that I'd go to Auschwitz
Nearly forgot to book online, but did
(It was free, without a guide). Bus, small cost
Of 14 zloty, that's less than 5 quid
An hour and a half journey, the bus did
(Glad Jo wasn't there to moan!) Humbling to
See this historic, tragic site that hid
Its real-life horrors, not that long ago
They try to recreate it with photo
And lots of multi-lingual guides who crossed
My path repeatedly. Shuttle bus sped
The short distance to Birkenau, still so
Eerie, though mainly quickly demolished
As the Nazis realised they'd lost, and fled

Wed 7 Dec

3763 - Krackers in Krakow 2

Awoke in City Hostel, Old Krakow
Not too much sleep - normal on holiday
Quite a poor breakfast, but all paid for now
Headed out for the market square, where they
Answered my prayers - fridge magnets, silver tree
Postcard of Nowa Huta, warming drink
Then wandered down Grodzka, bought a hoodie
Resplendent with the Polish eagle, think
That's been my main expense. Then a quick fling
Up Wawel Hill (cathedral, castle). How
Nice to see December snow fall this way!
To Kazimierz, Plac Nowy, lunch and drink
Back at hostel, a rest, rehearsed, a go
On the uke, then pub football, pints away!

Tue 6 Dec

3762 - Krackers in Krakow 1

The day has come - I'm flying to Poland
It'll be dark quite soon and I'm still here
In the flat, writing this. While there, I've planned
To look round Krakow, lightning speed, I fear
Just one full day for that, and another
Cultural must - Auschwitz - on the next day
Then there's a final half-day, and the air-
port reached for the flight back to the UK
To Liverpool on the return leg, they
Tell me at Ryanair. Promotion's sand
Has slipped through my fingers again, it's clear
People don't want me in their teams, they say
(Or think) I'm not up to it, the bell-ends -
Like they ARE. Right, I'm off into the air!

3761 - Personal Brexit

It was a crisp blue sky winter morning
Manchester city centre still quite calm
Christmas markets just about opening
As was Waterstone's bookshop, where I'd come
To look for a book on Poland, or some
Regional book on Krakow. I found that
And bought a book by Stewart Lee, who's done
Stand-up all these years, but he still fell flat
According to the book's cover. I thought
It might be a good read, but it's waiting
Til I finish a book I've just begun
'Memoirs of a Geisha.' Brexit, Brexit
I keep hearing, such a daft word, I think
Government / civil service perfect storm

3760 - Sweat the sweaty stuff

It's hot in here, I'm sweating, no bullshit
Carla's had the heat on all day but hey
She's Italian, and there's no crime in that
Besides, it's nice to be warm, yes, and dry
Michael McIntyre's Big Show's on TV
I've had a coffee, bit dehydrated
Maybe because I've not drunk much today
Also when I got home I felt quite tired
My aim's to finish this, and then to read
The last few pages of my book so it
Can be swapped for a new one, holiday
Reading, you know (in Poland). Decided
Not to brave the Crimbo crowds, so had
Brunch in Sainsburys, then Jo baked cookies - yay!

3759 - Polish opposites

Last working day before Poland is done
Carla's gone to Widnes to do a set
I hope it's not the shithole I stayed in
With Josephine, don't think it is, hope not
I've done my best to keep up with the plot
Been too busy at work for travel prep
But got my zlotys this morning, a wait
For the bureau to open, then looked up
And saw they sold Polish money - top tip -
Five zlotys to the pound, not cumbersome
Then to work out the cost of stuff once out
There. Next, tomorrow with Jo, when I shop
In Manchester, a woolly jumper's one
Mission I must quickly choose to accept

3758 - Crack on with Krakow

Oops - just realised I've not bought currency
For Poland, and I'm going next Monday
Just checked it and they still use the zloty
The euro would have been easier, cos they
Are more easily bought, and cos Friday
Is the last working day before I go
I'll need to find and buy them straight away
If this isn't possible, I'll just go
To Poland and get my cash there, it's no
Disaster. Hope the flight's faster than the
Eternal flight to Cyprus recently
I'm going on my own this time, not with Jo
Or John or anyone, but we will see
I might meet folk and have fun, anyway

3757 - Fucking bollocks

Well, all I can say is, well, not a lot
It's 10:30 which is quite late, you know
One could say, yes they could, I've lost the plot
But that's all bollocks, things come and they go
Sensible people make decisions, know
Things I don't know, that's up to them, don't care
Each day goes by, things happen, goes to show
That we should just carry on, don't despair
Carla is having late night soup, not sure
What it is, but it's green - that means a lot
It may be healthy, may be not also
Things are as they are, yes, yes, to be fair
Until things change, why not ask a robot
It would make more sense than what we have to show

3756 - Beer right in the end

What a day at work! Very pressurised
But it's all over with a good outcome
Got thanked and my work was quite rightly praised
Now, although I shouldn't, I just want 'numb'
So bought beer on the way from work to home
Now I'm writing this, reasonably happy
But don't think I'll do much rehearsing. Some
Relaxation is now necessary
I've shaved, so that's enough chores now for me!
Can't even be bothered eating. My prize
First of all will be to have a good strum
Of uke, maybe guitar, quite soon we'll see
And neighbours will hear. Wonder if they've sized
Me up as good, or annoying? I'm done!

3755 - Let the brain take the strain

A strange day, began quite sleepy, but gained
Momentum with my work this afternoon
As vapour recovery minds were strained
Among many emails and telecons
But I felt good by end of day and once
Home, did exercises and ironing
Then cooked my tea, no time-wasting, but soon
(When you're quite late at work), time is slipping
By, and the evening's already waning
It's nearly 8:15. This is the strain
Of full-time work plus other ambition
Comedy is what I've been performing
For a few years now, I can't change again
I should stick with it, because I'm a loon

3754 - I Can Do Magic

I'm almost zombie-like, catatonic
After an hour of song lyric-writing
And a uke session that was fantastic
Playing Elvis, Cockney Rebel, ending
With the Beatles' tricky stuff - finishing
With a headache from the effort! Still want
To learn these songs a bit more this evening
Must work each day on being more efficient
So I can stick it to those cheeky cunts
Change their expressions from doubting to meek
And even awe-inspired! Hard work's looming!
But this is a good tiredness, cos the point
Is, it's caused by comedy work - caustic
Comment-reducing graft, learnt craft. Magic!

3753 - They don't know about us

A flippin' cold day but, spose, Christmassy
Achieved a lot early on, while still home
Comedy-wise, logged venues, Elvissy
Lyrics and chords noted, upwards goin'
Feeling confident now, despite those gnomes
Those talentless organisers, tin pot
Promoters, think they're businessmen, smart phones
But less smart brains, organisers, but not
Characters, no vision, except to plot
Some non-comedic route through comedy,
Parasites, sifting talent, mere drones
In service of the middle-class despots
Some have, and some have not, close family
Met my sister and niece, meal at Zizzi

3752 - Boring Friday

Woke up for almost three hours in the night
So to pass the time, kept humming the tune
To my recent new knees-up song, I tried
To make it better, lying in the gloom
It didn't affect work too badly - soon
I was off home while still light, which was nice
No creative work once home, fork and spoon
Were used to good effect, and TV eyes
And not much else, no fun and small surprise
Wanted a shower, but Carla's gone inside
The steamy and the wet little bathroom
She's out now, maybe I can soap my sides
After a shave, I'll shower with all my might
Then return to bed to work on that tune!

3751 - On the good foot-ball

Thank God I've got more energy tonight
After a long sleep of more than 8 hours
Done exercises, as I heard the flight
Of fans, police vans and helicopters
Man U are playing Feyenoord, of course
Meanwhile, Carla's cooking vegetables
So I'll postpone my comedy practice
So she can eat in peace. Still got troubles
Doing that long day's work serving peoples
Coffee and cake at Caffe Nero - quite
Tiring when you start so early, your powers
Are strained to the limit. She got chuckles
Last night for her brand new comedy set
Let's hope we get fans and they throw us flowers!!

3750 - Down at the old King's Arms

A pretty good night last night at King's Arms
I thought I did quite well live on the uke
I did however have to glance sometimes
At my notes and lyrics, but won't rebuke
Myself for this, this time, needed to look
Cos it's mainly new stuff. I've learned now, though
That for gigs where I need to impress, stuck
Reading from notes is not good enough. Slow
And steady, I'll practice before I go
To gigs further afield or big platforms
Hard work's all that's needed, it's not just luck
Maybe London's the place for me to show
I really can be good, with less alarms
Because I know my act - that's all it takes

3749 - Pub be good to me

A good night at the old King's Arms, Salford
I arrived at twenty to nine, quite late
But it was OK, ideal, got a slot
At the end of the first half, it was great
Anjuli was there, she was in a state
Stress from teaching in a 'good school' I guess
Hard work therein, not easy, over-rate
Some people do, promotion, or success
In one's career, it's a poisoned chalice
Listen to me, life's easy, if you're bored
Rather have that than overworked, a fate
Worse than death, while alive it's like death's kiss
A few really good pints beats that, my word
That's it from me tonight, a good one, mate

3748 - Empty chairs in my mind

A hell of a wet day, and windy too
Came home, got dry, did ironing and cooked tea
Then spoke to Carla, still both trying to
Forget and also remember the sea
Of empty chairs, and space, no faces, the
Absolute shithouse that was the Lymm gig
And some shitters were there too - comedy
Produces them aplenty, there's no big
Change there, they form their gangs, or they arse-lick
The promoter, act as agent for you
Do all the work, then you so lazily
Do your usual routine. Not me, I stick
To my guns, fall down if need be, get through
But I need more gigs. Where they gonna be?

3748 - Cock-up roundup

It looks as though I'm being cold-shouldered
By Trevor and his comedy brigade
Never mind, if I don't get invited
Back there, my writing has come to my aid
New material penned today, and I've said
To myself, don't throw away all your old
(Or even quite new) stuff cos of one bad
Performance where the small audience was cold
And though I took a day off, shook the mould
Off my poor memory, learnt my lines, fingered
The chords at home a few times, I was frayed
By the time I went on, comedy gold
Turned to shit, I see that now. Fame has spurned
Me, or I've spurned it. The feeling ain't great

3747 - Crock of ages

The second car hire in the last three days
Less stressful by far, just visiting my
Mum, with Josephine, to Greasby. The pies
Are good there, prices reasonable. My pie
Was chicken and mushroom. After that I
Had chocolate and Baileys sundae, yum yum
Drove safely home, new bedding for to try
Bit disappointed no blankets, but come
Home and find a thick pink one in my room
That's a blanket, you dirty sod. My days!
My brother's birthday, he is 55
We are heading with haste towards the tomb
But we've had a long, good life, I would say
And there's more to come 'fore we say bye bye

3746 - A little bit shit

I'm starting to run out of steam after
A tense and hectic last day and a half
Last night at Lymm, not quite a disaster
But not great either - still, there was some love
From the small audience, and made about five
New Facebook friends from the other comics
I hope they forgive my errors and prove
Fans of ambition, even though the tricks
Of the trade aren't quite learned yet. I ain't slick
Yet. No, I need to work that bit harder
But not forget the difficulty of
It, ukulele playing and lyrics
Learning and delivery. Getting there
But taking the hard slow route ain't all laughs!

3745 - Out on a Lymm

Taken today off, not much done so far
Came quite close to the 900-page end
Of the doorstop novel half-read before
Cyprus, and that is 'Our Mutual Friend'
By Charles Dickens - it drives me round the bend
Wondering how he did it - must have been quick
And easy for him, especially back then
When all drafts were on paper and pen. Nipped
The reading in the bud, cooked lunch, equipped
Myself with energy. I've left an hour
And a half before the car collection
From the central Manchester branch of Sixt
Me and Carla are off to Lymm to score
Comedy success, win colleagues and friends

3744 - What am I driving at?

A miserable night, poor Carla has gone
To the Tiger Lounge to do her new stuff
One night before the Lymm gig. Car booked - goin'
To Lymm in hired car with her - would've
Struggled to get there otherwise. Much love
To Carla as she goes on, on her own
No support from those wankers - it's so tough
For her, and for me too! Won't be alone
Tomorrow though in Lymm. Aldine, she's known
About this gig since last week in Sale. So
Now I will offer her a lift. I'm off
Work tomorrow, time to rehearse and own
The material til I'm real confident
Hope to impress Trevor C, get a laugh

3743 - Tea for three

A pleasant evening, pork belly and tea
In Chinatown and Portland Street, no less
With D and N, overdue catch-up. We
Discussed our lives of course, kind of a mess
Some of us drifting, maybe all of us
How to control the flow of time and tide
Is fate preordained - no, but soul success
Life success, goals success, is not a wide
Open goal, rather a thin slit, but pride
Dictates we do our best and stay happy
If our best isn't good enough, I guess
On the way home bought beer and stood outside
On the balcony, but bedtime must be
Quite soon, because work lies in wait, oh yes

3742 - Exercise in vanity

Another long and trying workday, no
Time for lunch, even, though there was coffee
As I discussed my year's work on the go
Then straight into a meeting back at the
Office. Was fed up by the end, frankly
Enough of that shit, now what about life
Outside the office? Enough energy
Mental and physical, to strain and strive
Some more, so did some exercises. My
Vanity is part of it, runs the show
After that, ironing, then cooked my tea
Carla came home - it's like having a wife!
Now the time nears to rehearse Thursday, so
Excuse me, must go. Arrivederci...

3741 - A cold in the bed

My brain is starting to run out of steam
That's what happens when you work it real hard
Pleased to say I've done that, and so my scheme
Of properly preparing my set ahead
Of Thursday night in Lymm's on track. Forward
I go, with Carla's help, maybe friends there
Also from Meet-Up, hope they won't be bored
One thing I've yet to do is hire a car
Both for Thursday and next weekend, for
A trip to Mum's with Jo. Lately I've been
Suffering with old bedding falling apart
My Mum's got stuff for me, she's got some spare
Just in time for winter - blankets a dream
After last night's shivers in a cold bed

3740 - Spare time prepare time

Now for yesterday, not far back to think
Woke up early after that early bed
And used my freshness and spare time writing
And thinking about comedy ahead
Mainly in Lymm next Thursday, so prepared
I could now be by putting in the time
And effort while fresh. Then quite excited
By this success, went to see Jo, first time
Since Cyprus, and we carried on, no rhyme
Or reason to stop eating and chatting
About music - that's often in her head
Looked round the books in Waterstones, no finds
Need a travel book on Poland, looming
Visit to Krakow and Christmas market

Sat 12 Nov

3739 - Back in the fight

The first of two late sonnets - too busy
It seems, this weekend so far, for diary
Writing, First of all, I forgot Friday
And then also forgot on Saturday
So now it's the afternoon of Sunday
I can remember Friday, luckily
Although two days ago's long time for me
Friday, Remembrance Day, day of poppy
And two-minute silence, we all agree
To observe, obey the tannoy nicely
Though my typing fingers still tapped away
In the evening, a hard day two or three
A few beers, watched the England game, a 3
0 win against Scotland, then bed, early

Fri 11 Nov

3738 - Ale in Sale

Hard day's work, all my energy was used
Didn't get away til nearly six, then
A quick tea, and out to Sale there to view
A new comedy night at Vao, but some
Struggled, a big hubbub situation
Will it continue? Comedy is hard
Not always a moneyspinner, for them
Punters don't get pissed like they should, the bards
Of stand-up struggle with sober blow-hards
A tricky one, for sure, I ask, would you
Want to put yourself on the line for them?
Got to think about my act, so those sods
Don't heckle. In Lymm next Thursday I'll do
A spot, got to improve so I'm not damned

3737 - From Leeds in Yorkshire to leads in the polls

It's been a hard coupla days, even though
Technically, yesterday was a day off
But getting frozen and soaked, struggling to
Get the last bus home, finally dropping off
About 3am. It was looking tough
For Trump at that point. But after two hours
I woke again, at 5, and heard he'd shoved
Hillary out the way. Hilarious!
So, a long day and evening in Leeds, bus
Back late to Manchester, soaked through and through
Culminating in victory, not for love
(Hillary - yeah, right) but hate. The White House
Will shortly be Trump Mansion. No NATO
No immigrants - or is it all just bluff?

3736 - Verve Lurve

Sitting in Casa Colombiana
Numerous coffees in this cafe in Leeds
It was quiet for a while, no-one in there
Latino music only, to mislead
My train of thought, rehearsing my misdeeds
In the name of comedy for the gig
Still 2 hours to go til the fun proceeds
At the Verve Bar. I went out for a cig
And almost froze. There's no snow yet to dig
Me out of, but I'm shivering in here
My coat's done up tight. There'll be no sweat beads
Poor Carla, she'll be freezing too, and big-
Time, as she tries to write new stuff in a
Hostel somewhere nearby. When will we meet?

Tue 8 Nov

3735 - On the up

I worked hard back at the office and found
My manager is moving on, and there
Are vacancies for promotion, announced
As soon as I went on holiday (where?
Cyprus - have you been reading my posts here?)
Excitement then, but I have taken leave
Tomorrow so I can focus on the
Comedy in Leeds. Can hardly believe
The supportive comments, so I will give
It my best shot, rehearsing til it's down
In my head, run thru it on the bus there
Meeting Carla, a meal, then to The Verve
In Leeds, a ten minute slot, then return
Hopefully buzzing, bus to Manchester

3734 - Witness the Widnes

Oh fuck - never ever stay in Widnes
At least not at the Main Top Hotel there
It had been Bonfire Night though, in fairness
But me and Jo had missed the fireworks clear
Flying from Larnaca to the area
Touching down at near midnight, Liverpool
After a five hour flight - we were tired, yeah?
Taxi to this sub-standard pub hotel
The bar had just shut, but the decibels
Still pumped through the floor for the late-staying guests
In the pub itself. Not that many there
It seemed, but I was woken by a hell
At three thirty, a kids' party, a host
Of Scousers in the next room. Oh, beware!

3733 - Cyprus 8

The last day in Cyprus, but won't reach home
We're headed for a hotel in Widnes
Right now we're sitting for an hour's time
In Hotel Opera lobby, just upstairs
From St Lazarus Square, where we have passed
Many hours this week, watching and talking
Mainly in sunshine - we've been weather-blessed
And then of course there's eating and drinking
We've done some (but not very much) walking
We've had sun, but not much tan - what a crime
To have wasted that chance! But still I guess
It's a bit special when reminiscing
On 8 days with my daughter, us alone
Just chilling, mainly, no more and no less!

Sat 5 Nov

3732 - Cyprus 7

Although we did nothing, today was nice
A lovely sunny day in Larnaca
Didn't leave our room til 1. She enticed
Me to the cafe just across from there
The Cafe Da Vinci, sat in their chair
Outside for the 3rd or 4th time, to eat
Drink and enjoy the sun and, after hours
I persuaded Josie to use her feet
And go for a short walk along the streets
Looked in souvenir shops, leisurely pace
A few euros spent, then went for dinner
At Alexander's on the seafront - please
No more calories, we're full, belly size
Red alert, please don't give us any more!

Fri 4 Nov

3731 - Cyprus 6

A warm sunny day, what we came here for
I've accepted she doesn't want to do
Much, or go places, adventures or tours
Consequently, there was no rush, we knew
It was going to be relaxing. Nice blue
Sky, sat at the roadside cafe, breakfast
So noisy, sound of lorries as we chew
Then walked round Larnaca a while, and passed
Shops old and new, and markets full of tat
Jo bought something at last, good to see her
A bit more relaxed, scarf for mother, few
Tourists this time of year. Cold drinks and chats
But when the sun sank behind buildings, our
Time to head for the hotel - stay there, too...

Thur 3 Nov

3730 - Cyprus 5

A not done very much sort of a day
Never had a day quite like this before
An almost doing nothing holiday
No pictures worth taking, mostly a yawn
Not even a decent meal to restore
To life. From memory, nothing happened
We did walk along the Larnaca shore
Nice walk, but shadows already lengthened
Getting colder than holiday's start - end
Still a few days, still a few days away
Why bother going to Limassol, what for
When J will just protest and me defend
Every decision, including which way
Left or right? Everything seems such a bore!

Wed 2 Nov

3729 - Cyprus 4 -

Can't believe it's the fourth day already
Mind you, the first day was just getting here
At last, left Larnaca - capital city
Nicosia was where we went, Nicosia
It was a maze of narrow streets, appeared
To be very little to see, just shops
But few attractions, not even a beer
Today, two smallish meals, 5 euros, tops
Per person, very cheap at least. Jo dropped
Food on the floor for the street cats - many
Of them roam the cafes of Nicosia
And Larnaca too. Tomorrow might pop
To Limassol, they say it's worth a see
We're now midway through our Med holiday

Tue 1 Nov 

3728 - Cyprus 3

Hot sunny morning, so went out walking
As J lay in, thinking about her shower
Hopped onto the beach and went out paddling
In the warm Med (warm to a Britisher -
Warm even at the end of October)
Took pix, selfies in the sea, then walked on
To the bus-stop - trips to Agia Napa
To Limassol or Nicosia. Won
The battle with Jo in the end, we're goin'
To the capital tomorrow. Sitting
On the beach, golden sunset, late bathers
Then an excellent value meal within
Kalamaki - seafront Greek-style cuisine
Establishment, too much food to eat there!

Mon 31 Oct

3727 - Cyprus 2

Tried to lie in, despite lying on the floor
Josephine sleeping soundly on the bed
Sunday morning, church bells around the square
And as we lie there, choir songs room-invade
Greek Orthodox, once Byzantine, parade
I got up first, Jo is slow, like her Mum
I shopped for shorts, trainers, razors, and made
A purchase of fridge magnet and icon
From St Lazarus icon shop, and then
When we were both ready, two breakfasts for
Jo and me, safely in umbrella shade
Outside the Cafe da Vinci, talked on
For more than three hours. Back in our room, saw
A wedding in the church. Tea-time omelette

Sun 30 Oct

3726 - Cyprus 1

Slept well, woken up by alarm at 8
Finished my packing, but forgot some things
Got train to Wilmslow, Josie wasn't late
Got to Liverpool Airport, had a drink
Waited on the staircase, finally boarding
Got taxi to the Hotel Opera
Watched TV til we felt time for sleeping
We are in Cyprus, town of Larnaca
Amazing view of St Lazarus Square
Out of the window, the church tower looks great
The Greek and Cypriot flags both flying
It's nice for November, warm atmosphere
One problem with our room - double bed. Wait -
I'll sleep on the floor... My bones were hurting :(

Sat 29 Oct

3725 - Exhausted fume

Whew! I'm exhausted, at just half-past ten
One of the hardest days at work, ever
I didn't have lots of sleep, number one
Number two, my workload was heavier
Than before, almost ever, or never
Bureau de change at Sainsburys was still shut
So no euros as yet, I'm unsure where
Or when tomorrow morning I can get
Them, and I haven't packed bags, think I'll wait
Til the morning and get some rest, with an
Alarm set for about 8. A shower
And shave, quick packing of bag, and head out
About ten, get the currency, then train
To Liverpool with Jo, and fly from there

3724 - Tippett and toilet

I'm tired despite a good night's sleep last night
Worked really hard but still stuff wasn't done
Straight afterwards walked to Vee's flat, three flights
In the lift, coffee and nuts, chat, cat, on
To the Bridgewater Hall - Copland, Britten
And Tippett's A Child of our Time, long piece
Good, but I needed the loo after an
Unwise second pint. Vee admitted she's
Not a fan of it, was not at her ease
Struggled to stay awake, but then you might
Struggle to find a free night out that comes
With that quality. As we approached Vee's
Flat, there was Carla rehearsing her part
In a comedy show that's all women

3723 - Insure enough and yes I do

I'm very tired, but it's been a good day
Got some good work done, despite the pressure
Still got to get my euro's, but I'd say
There's still time, you can get them anywhere
Sainsburys included, the rates are fair
Got boarding passes for Cyprus printed
Took out travel insurance, got cover
Bit more relaxed now. Had some fattening food
At a burger joint, Dave Turquoise was sad
I unexpectedly turned up when they
Should have been alone, but it was Carla
Who invited me. Then we visited
Women's open mic, Ape and Apple. Stayed
For two acts, then home. That's it! I'll see ya!

3722 - Pictures of silly

A hard day's work and at lunchtime, a tense
Trip to the shops, to Boots for repellent
(For the trip to Cyprus), and got a man's
Help to print a photo fromm my phone. Went
Well, only 40p per colour print
Also popped into Santander bank branch
Asked about their new style savings account
Turned out it was a bit shit, had a hunch
It would be. Stayed quite late, but there's a crunch
Going on. too much work. In my defence
I said, before I left, that I was spent
I had too much to do. Walked home, late lunch
Or early tea, whatever, great suspense
But still to attend comedy, hell-bent

3721 - Train to London

With hardly any sleep since I got back
From Bristol, it was time to catch the train
To London for a work meeting. Leaned back
In my seat and slept, Stoke to Milton Keynes
To be honest, the meeting was in vain
A bit of a waste of time, just the same
Old stuff, explained once more. Getting boring
But a relief it's done. read 'Mutual Friend'
But no energy for routine writing
Comedy routine, I mean. Was sleeping
On the train going down, and coming back
It was so quiet, I was lucky then
The clicketty-clack of the track, soothing
Run out of time now for a joke attack :(

3720 - Bristol 3

Final day of our long Bristol weekend
A little gloomy and misty at first
Late breakfast at ten, scrambled egg, bacon
Then caught the bus to Clifton, a short burst
Of walking, then we saw the bridge that crossed
The Avon Gorge, Brunel's fine achievement
Walked back along it with Vee and Pearl, just
Enjoying the autumn sunshine that streamed
In rays from the clouds like paintings or dreams
The hills, trees, water, houses, it all span
Pictorial magic. Terrace coffee, spent
An hour chatting, then museum, not worst
In the world, cup of tea, taxi, station
Long train journey with Vee, and home at last!

Sun 23 Oct

3719 - Bristol 2

Even more so, no lie-in, up at 6
40, quick shower in my hotel room
Then a tasty breakfast, though tired. We hitched
A ride in a taxi, through Bristol vroomed
To the Wills Memorial Tower, where they groomed
Themselves, graduates of teaching degree
By donning black gowns. Long wait til the room
Was opened up, another wait til the
Elders of teachingdom processed calmly
Through the great hall, sat on the stage, throwbacks
To schooldays, but the awards maturely
Awarded, Pearl's second degree. We switched
Off and slept, back at hotel. Night out. Boom!
Pints, cigs, curry, great fun, yum yum, yum yum

Sat 22 Oct

3718 - Bristol 1

No lie-in, up at 8.15, day off
Caught train to Bristol with Vee - very full
Met Pearl at Temple Meads, she looked quite rough
Eye problems, went to A&E a spell
But they couldn't do anything for Pearl
So we left, found the hotel, out to eat
Went to Piccolino's, think it was called
These long Italian names you can forget
A nice pollo ai funghi filled the pit
Without over-filling it, no pig trough
Good to meet and chat with Pearl - been a while
Now watching TV, but bed in a bit
Alarm set for 6.40. Must nod off
Quick as I can - tomorrow will be full

Fri 21 Oct

3717 - The late late show

A good sort of day, after work, went out
Met Jo at Wilmslow, went to United
At Old Trafford to watch the football bout
Between them and Fenerbahce from dread
Turkey, but it turned out to be sorted
By the first half, 3-0 up, another
Goal soon after the break. We decided
To queue for the train back early, missed the
Goal by Van Persie near the end. Oh dear!
Back home late, reading my Dickens en route
Back to town, finding that Our Mutual Friend
Is getting more engaging, pages blur
As I drink in the master's voice, oh but
It's true, people are crazy, self-centred

3716 - Hands on my time

A fun day, spent partly in Liverpool
A trade union meeting, Liner Hotel
Near Lime Street, interesting and new, and full
Of different people with such tales to tell
Then back to Manchester, with time to kill
Talking of time, I bought a big new clock
It's on the wall, I hope it doesn't fall
If it did, it'd be a real big shock
A big bang worthy of that first great tock
Out once again, to Richard's birthday meal
Calamari and ravioli, well
It was tasty, and so was Joanne, talked
To her through the evening, her eyes to drool
Over, good convo, so it ends all well

3715 - The show must go on (without me)

Quite tired, fancy an early night, and it's
Wet and windy outside, no Old Pint Pot
For me or Carla, for out there's the pits
Of hell, a winter-like darkness a lot
Like Halloween without the fun, no hot
Bonfire to cheer the spirit as you shake
And shiver against the elements that
Conspire against good health, threaten to wake
Evil beings, fires are lit, not just to bake
But to bring cheer and keep alive. I've put
A new set together, next time I get
Opportunity and desire to make
(Or try to) fuckers laugh, in those sad fights
For attention and love, or God knows what

3714 - Amusing muso musings

A strange day, mainly good, but then people
Are strange, there's good and bad in everyone
To be continued, no doubt, wishing well
Says all you need is love, don't drop the bomb
But life's a gamble, it's all in the game
You win again, I'm born to lose, pretty
Vacant, you're a c***, it's a shame shame shame
Sick of you, I love you love don't love me
I should subject you to AC/DC
Great balls of ire, I'm a killer like Seal
You're no better man than I, Gunga Din
Monday, bloody blue Monday Monday, be
There then, not here now, hey now, no Noel
Fly off from this oasis, woe begone!

3713 - Be There Then

Despite yesterday's day out at Derby
County with Little Jo and Big Louis
Today I again went out with Josie
To see an Oasis exhibition
At Old Granada Studios down in Quay
Street. Due to its being really busy
A long queue for the album cover re-
creation of Definitely Maybe
We didn't do that. Needs a collection
Of four or more peeps, not just two like we
Were. I won't see her next weekend. I've done
My best to make the most of this here one
Next weekend I'm in Bristol, where I'll see
Big daughter Pearl's teaching grad ceremony

3712 - Driving the points home

A great day although big problems at first
Had to go back home from the car hire place
National Insurance Number? That's a first
And passport and driving licence with face
Photo (not the piece of paper) replaced
By the card. One hour fifteen minutes we
Were now, in driving towards Derby, late
Picking up Jo en route, then to Derby
In the autumn sunshine. Parked right by the
I-Pro Stadium, that was a real boost
As time was short. Just time to take our place
And the match started. 1-0 win, Derby
Beat Leeds, rode our luck, thank God we weren't cursed
By our presence. Good chats, three points - good taste!

3711 - Chatterback toad

A goodish day, work quite demanding but
A few fun chats along the way, not bad
Hot desking means we don't know where we're sat
Each day it's musical chairs for this lad
New haircut on display today, thank God
It was starting to look really messy
I could've been called Lionel. withstood
That insult like a man, so easily
Back home I exercised, ukulele
And guitared away, fingerwork's real hot
Nowadays, move from chord to chord, a tad
Like greased lightning before striking a tree
I'm settling down now, can I get to bed
Without booze (I'm on my own, in my pad)

3710 - Blond on grey

Good news from Carla, who's in Liverpool
She's forgiven me for our spat, thank God
Would've been a shame if these pals had cooled
We really should get along like we should
And usually do, real well. Had a haircut
Badly needed it was, Monday back there
For colouring (but not bleaching). Opted
For another blond attempt, and blond hair
Is apt when Dylan's won the literature
Nobel Prize, well deserved too, he's the sole
Singer candidate for that accolade
His lyrics are so intense, to be fair
Now for a happy bedtime, no more fuel
On my mental fire, just relax in bed

3709 - Off the ball

After a late night, did OK today
Considering, but meetings are easier
Than working on documents - but still they
Were looked at too! And about five, repaired
Back home, played well on uke and on guitar
Sadly, had a disagreement tonight
About comedy, it's my fault I fear
But not sure how best I can make things right
Missed a chance to perform at a good night
The Ape and Apple, others do OK
But I am not on the ball, rarely there
When the call goes out, social media blight
Just not switched on, I'm old-fashioned TJ
But must keep on, and next time try harder!

3708 - Ungrateful bastards

A quick one, it's late Tuesday evening, and
I'm quickly typing this so I can down
Some beer, then go to bed and meet the sand-
man, whoever the fuck he is. From round
Here, no, from the States, maybe, things abound
From there, don't they, they churn shit out, just like
Britain used to do, but they'd surround
Our redcoats and shoot at us til we're spiked
Gratitude for spreading our white attack
Removing the natives, it then rebounds
On us, they remove us, karma astounds
But then though we're a monarchy, they hike
Us out of there like we're not cool, but sound
The Yanks out now, they like our Queen and throne!

3707 - Zoo's out

Stayed up a little too late last night so
Consequently I'm too tired to go out
Tonight, to the Pub Zoo. We said we'd go
And do some stand-up at open mic night
But Carla's still honing her act, and I'd
Like to stay in and rest, to be honest
I wasn't sharp at work today, my mind
Dented by late night boozing, I confessed
Don't want to be like that tomorrow, pissed
Last thing at night's not clever, so won't show
At Pub Zoo tonight - could be next week's treat
On Monday evening, I could be a guest
Then. This means I can escape going there now
I mustn't overdo it! (Lazy git!)

3706 - Ye Olde Shocke

An interesting visit to Ye Old Cocke
Once in a blue moon, trouble kicks off there
And it happened tonight. Instead of rock
(Open mic stylee) the highlight was a
Weirdo on drugs throws a glass at the bar
I didn't even see it, cos I was
In the loo at the time, after a jar
Or two of beer! They sat on him because
He was still kicking off outside. The fuzz
Have got him now, he's in the cells and locked
Up, maybe, maybe not. Seen programmes where
The cops let them go home/ So populous
Are the streets of drunken fools also packed
Full of amphetamines, not worth their care

3705 - Band on the ball

Good day out with Josie after a row
Over pictures with her mum, previous night
I wasn't involved, cos I know how
Much J hates having pix taken, the sight
Of her forehead apparently's not quite
To her liking (her mum's the same!). How odd
I can't see much wrong with it! We walked straight
To Deansgate AMC cinema, got
Worried she was too young, but we weren't stopped
It was the new film on Oasis, ploughed
Through lots of old early footage. In spite
Of their later naffness their live sound rocked
Then ate at the Topkapi. No time now
To watch England v Malta, not tonight

3704 - The family that plays together

The weekend's here, hurray, and I've been out
With Vee to see a Margaret Atwood talk
Followed by a Lebanese meal - was not
Too filling, so that's good. No knife and fork
Picked up those lamb chops and bit, and that worked
Greasy fingers, caught up on family news
Looking forward to meeting Pearl soon, walk
Up to receive her graduation dues
In Bristol. Also soon it's me and Lou's
Trip to Derby v Leeds, Thinking about
Inviting Josephine, that football hawk
(I mean she watches it like one!) We'll lose
Ourselves in the Cyprus sun when school's out
Plus comedy galore - no need to mawk!

3703 - All work and some play

Great day at work, did lots, cos so few there
Also some fun chats every now and then
Afterwards, Caffe Nero and Carla
I got a free coffee and a muffin
Not the chocolate flavour, but the lemon
Got an invite to a literature show
Tomorrow night at RNCM, an
Educational end to the week, slow
Maybe - go, Margaret Atwood, go!
Vee Baxter had a ticket going spare
Asked for a comedy spot from Jason
Last night. No answer. Looks like I won't go
On his stage anytime soon. Don't despair
Though, he can't stop me growing - no-one can!

3702 - You're so normal

Still angry, like Take That, Never Forget
Everything Changes But You (you're still dull)
Or are you, rather, naff, full of regret
And bitterness, pretend you're oh so full
Of fun, but when it comes to the crunch, cruel
Which comes of course from hatred of yourself
I feel no sorrow or pity, I'm cool
You are now marked down on some lower shelf
You've chosen and you discriminate well
Intolerant, early to bed you flit
Having lowered the energy to nil
You're like my Mum (in-law), your mental health
I question, you say I'm mad, why? What's it
To you, if you're such fun? You're so ... normal.....;..;..

3701 - Telford Workshop 3, Day 2

An extremely tedious workshop, yes sir
Although well-rested, almost dozed off there
The talk was dull, my eyes struggled to stare
Instead they wanted to close, couldn't bear
The thing, but eventually it was over
I felt OK then, but the evening was
A further disappointment, oh my Lord
What's the point of wasting time with such dross
Although there were some good stories from Chris
Very poor show from Angela, yes the
Woman from my own team likes to ignore
And insult me for fun, and to excess
This time I won't forgive or forget her
Let her do what she wants to, I don't care

Tue 4 Oct

3700 - Telford Workshop 3, Day 1

A sunny day, weather's better than last
Year, for sure, sunshine makes you happier
First day of three in Shrewsbury, train fast
Took us there, attended the workshop there
In Telford - International House was the
Venue, then back by taxi, Lion Inn
Met at 7, to The Curry House, where
We'd dined previously, now dined there again
Then a beer in the Hole in the Wall, fun
Now back in my room, single bed, oh blast
This ain't good, no room, if I roll over
I'll end up on the floor, oh what a sin!
Better lie still, like mummy in a cast
Peppermint tea, diary, then sleep, please sir!

Mon 3 Oct

3699 - Not so ripping yarns

Stayed in today, I won't go to King Gong
Can't be bothered, will be out next two nights
In Shropshire, with workmates. Main thing I've done
Is reading about Peter Sutcliffe's frights
In the 60s and 70s. That's right -
He was at it earlier than widely known
Because of bungled policing, oversights
Police forces intelligence they owned
But didn't share properly, so he went on
Attacking women from behind upon
The backs of their heads on those northern nights
But some further south, even in London
This quiet man, capable of such wrong
Salutary lesson, dark human insights

3698 - Autumn taught 'em

Nice sunny day, rain forecast, but held off
Noticeably cooler though than summer
Good sleep badly needed, Carla chat, off
Caught train to Wilmslow, then to Manchester
With Jo, even read some John Lydon there
On the train, singer of Public Image
He loves music, so such a big honour
For him to have done that song in an age
When music mattered. Now it's disengaged
And run by old men for young kids. I loved
Bella Italia, tasted much better
Than Zizzi or Pizza Express. Wastage
There was none. Garlic bread all polished off
And lovely lasagne, coffee, oh yeah

3697 - Comedy Chameleon

It's nice to be home and just relaxing
After four hectic days and nights, no rest
I plan on a little uke practising
But after that, think I'll be happiest
Finishing the John Lydon book, that's best
A little beer left from the Liverpool
Off licence last night, not going to get pissed
That becomes the bad habit of a fool
How long since I exercised? It's a whole
Two weeks, surely? A good week, though, learning
More about my act. I don't feel depressed
Got mainly good reactions through it all
This weekend it's about developing
My act structure to withstand any test

3696 - Not quite dying in Liverpool

A stupendously long hard day it was
Despite dropping off to sleep late as three
A.m. I woke about six thirty, as
I thought of a new joke or two, and the
Idea forced me up and out quite early
Worked hard, almost a full day, though I left
At three, needed a power nap badly
Dozed for thirty minutes with the news left
On low on TV, ate, rehearsed, then left
For Liverpool, running late. I was forced
After a slow train ride, to use taxi
To get to Lark Lane on time, where I met
Tom George, had a coffee, on first I was
Did OK, some laughs. Last train back for me

3695 - You never can tell

A long day not helped by last night's late drink
Although I had some fun at work, that's true
And once again after work, out watching
Comedy at the Ape and Apple. Few
Laughs, I thought. Carla did a spot and though
She was a bit down afterwards, wasn't
Really her fault, it was tough out there. You
Can never tell how jokes will go. A grunt
Here, a silence there, tends to disappoint
The comedian of course, remembering
Maybe their last gig, when those same jokes drew
Giggles and even roars. Why so different
A response from night to night? Perplexing
But laughs are infectious, silences too

3694 - Coffee hero

What a day, again, it seems all to much
Organised a holiday to Cyprus
Bought EasyJet flights to Larnaca, crunch
Time, bought hotel too, I knew that I must
Decide everything and I did and pushed
My finances up front, paid up, sorted
It all out, did work, energy was used
But that was just the start, I visited
Caffe Nero, saw Carla there, I hid
From her manager our acquaintance, clutched
My free coffee, wrote out my set, which was
Fairly successful at TWICNIS, I led
The people there with chat, the common touch
Then a pint with the lads, and home to get more pissed

3693 - Cyprus price plus

A very busy, even stressful day
Fast-paced at work, so much to organise
Including Cyprus, but I've learned that they
Are charging the earth for flights thru the skies
Sky-high prices brought water to my eyes
Even in November! Looks unlikely
Me and Jo will be going there. Only chance is
EasyJet flights and some cheap hostelry
But would a cheap place be liked by Josie?
No time to rehearse. Ate, then made my way
In the rain to The Courtyard for a night's
Open mic - all music, apart from me
I shouted my head off at the mike. Hey
They chanted my name, thought my cracks were wise!

3692 - Island in the sun - again

A good day at home, lots of things to do
Thinking up this week's new comedy set
And reading about Cyprus, that's the new
Half-term break with Josephine, when we'll jet
Off to that island country split in two
Between Greek and Turk. I'll never forget
My trip in 2010, to Greece, and screw-
Loose Istanbul - that longest day and night
Revisiting those cultures again, whew!
The news in '74 showed a lot
Of reports about the invasion. Who
Stuck in the mind? Makarios, in that hat
Not sure whether to drive while there or not
Now to book those November flights - yahoo!!!

3691 - Life sucks, then you die

I'm just writing a quick sonnet - good day
After last night's disappointment about
Carla, she said that she'd not felt OK
A bad report from Caffe Nero, out
Of sorts, a bit depressed, a bit without
The social impulse. Today I've learned more
About what makes her tick and fell like shite
I'm pleased it's not me, not 'cos I'm a bore
Or her either, just things life has in store
looking forward to next week now. Sunday
(Tomorrow) gonna write comedy set
For maybe 3 gigs next week, and explore
Further my new structure and theory
With new gags added. Should be good - no doubt?!

3690 - Joe Pubic

A long day's work, it's been a long work week
Three days in Telford, and two in Salford
Mixed energy levels, relies on sleep
Today I'm OK and feeling quite good
Because it's a Friday I've even bought
A few beers, enough for me and Carla
Too, if she wants some, and then when we've talked
The night will conclude nicely as ever
Well as most nights do, not quite together
But not far apart. I can hear her speak
It's good she's awake, after long hours poured
Into coffee cups, standing up, prepared
To put up with Joe Public's crap, be meek
When she could put them down with verbal sword

3689 - Waiting for Spud

I'm in the ante-room of Hell, Limbo
Or Purgatory. No, wait, I am not there
Thank God and Jesus, or both, oh no, no
It's worse. I'm in a long queue to nowhere
Or more specifically having to bear
The eternal damnation that's waiting
To buy Man United tickets. There's a
Clash between them and City now booking
It's in the EFL Cup, and meaning
That all the scrotes and their sprogs are gung ho
Getting their mitts on tickets, such despair
If they don't get 'em. Josie is asking
To go, so I'm a Red Devil fan, low
Down and dirty, fighting to get served, yeah!

3688 - Telford and back home

Nice smallish breakfast in the Lion Hotel
Shrewsbury, a quaint creaky old building
With bathrooms like your gran had, the same smell
The old ceramics. I'm not complaining
It had character. Second night's sleeping
Much better, seven hours, refreshed at last
Workshop finished early, soon the walking
To Telford Central station. Two nice chats
With Rachel and Phil the Scouser. A fast
Change of train at Wolverhampton. Useful
Read of the Lydon book, and arriving
At Piccadilly, free bus soon dispatched
Me on Deansgate, short walk home. Now for real
Relaxing evening with no worrying

3687 - Telford Workshop 2 Day 2

But despite getting little sleep last night
Interspersing attempts to sleep with bursts
Of reading John Lydon's life story, quite
Gripping, fortunately - combined the worst
Economic conditions with a thirst
For learning, then meningitis, hardship
Overcome, eventually. 'Mong the first
To dye hair green, wear drainpipes, much more hip
In Malcolm's and Vivienne's eyes than the drip
Of out-of-date hippies or rockers (might
See their descendants today, long-haired ghosts)
Whereas hipsters, their beards, they'll get my lip
To be quite honest, rather fly a kite
On West Kirby beach. Speech to them is terse

Tue 20 Sep

3686 - Telford Workshop 2 Day 1

Oh well, had high hopes for these next two days
But safe to say it's a big fat failure
It's become nothing, I am not amazed
Not even half-awake, once more could snore
Too many boring hangers-on, oh lor!
Why does it always happen? So boring
Anyway, back in the hotel room for
A cup of coffee, TV and reading
And that's better than the socialising
Tomorrow it all starts again, with plates
Of eggs and bacon, like eating manure
When the company's this dull and stifling
Watching First Dates, two daters may be mates
Maybe not. I'm not. Just a book-reader

Mon 19 Sep

3685 - It takes a worried man

Sunny morning, but it's gone cloudier now
Started to worry why Carla was still
In her bedroom, so quiet. Recalled how
She'd been quiet as a mouse in there until
I went to bed (drunk) last night. Was she killed
Or otherwise dead? Thought, well I shall check
When I turn the heat on (her bedroom wall
Contains the boiler) but then heard the click
Of her door opening. Thank God! Respect
For such a long, deep sleep. Didn't allow
For her staying out late last night - little
Did I suspect, but that's the tale. I'd crept
Around last night, didn't dare flush the loo
But she was out, in the Pen and Pencil!

3684 - Reggae reggae sports

As for today, a lovely sunny day
For got my phone, left it at home charging
Met Jo at Wilmslow station anyway
The usual central Manchester wandering
And the usual eating, drinks and talking
Later on, in Home, met Judith and friend
And then on the train back, did more chatting
To two Man City fans, tried to defend
My 'Trojan' t-shirt, which is not a brand
Of condoms, but a record label they
Had heard of, early reggae recordings
People always notice that t-shirt and
Perhaps that's why! Later, Match of the Day
But first, chilling out is most appealing!

3683 - The aut of noise

Oops, I did it again, forgot to write
A sonnet, so here it is, one day late
Worked hard and long in the office, was quite
Tired I guess on Friday eve, so I sat
On the sofa, chatted to Carla, had
A beer, played uke, watched a late night horror
Film - You're Next' - about murders in a great
Old Tudor-style house in the States, not a
Real Tudor house of course! Decided the
Woman who said I was autistic's right -
No, wait, wrong! Oh I don't know, but know that
She was rude and ignorant. A stranger
Should not be so bold, and I thought SHE might
Be autistic herself! Aren't people great!!

About Fri 16 September

3682 - Comedy For Sale

I hope you will bear with me on this jaunt
So much to say, it can't be said at all
So instead, best stick to what was once meant
Rather than risking comment on what is balls
I'm not talking about Ed or Yvette
Who the fuck are they, you might well ask. Call
Me stupid but I am, so you are right
And I acknowledge it, before I fall
For some reason I drank lots there tonight
In some mediocre comedy show, taunts
From local characters seemed to enthral
Presenters, this should not happen, should not
But does when comperes are weak and are short
Of balls, then you're fucked, you'd better call Saul

3681 - Mersey Heat

A lovely warm day, hotter than summer
Didn't stay outside in the heat much though
Train to Liverpool, a work meeting there
Then walked back to the train station when through
And preferred sitting inside, easier to
Relax and read with a coffee than fry
And sweat outside. Who needs a tan, although
There is maybe Vitamin D that I
Could have been absorbing from way on high
Still, I was outside for quite a while, a
Pedestrian in Manchester, also
Liverpool. This evening, went with Louis
To see Man City win 4-0 with the
Hero, natch, being Sergio Aguero

3680 - Theatre of streams

The heaviest downpour there's been in ages
Caused the Manchester City game to be
Cancelled. Shame, more than usual, because
I was heading there tonight with Josie
I'll go tomorrow instead with Louis
At least we stayed out of the rain quite well
As we sheltered inside Piccadilly
Railway station, waiting for them to tell
Us the match was abandoned, then we felt
Relieved, and celebrated, went upstairs
To TGI Friday, steak for two. The
Expensive menu wasn't great, but filled
Us up. Back home now writing these pages
Tomorrow, once more, Manchester City!

3679 - Cottonopolis to Metropolis

Felt very energetic all today
Because I had such a long and deep sleep
Listened to music as I made my way
Down Trinity Way, diggers digging deep
All along the side of the road that keeps
Changing, new buildings everywhere, bridges
Even, documenting the change that creeps
Day by day, all the time, but usually is
Not as noticeable as these changes
Back home again, and I did, straight away
My exercises, ironing. My steep
Learning curve on the uke, it continues
And relearning to play guitar. Caffe
Nero is giving Carla long hours. Bleep!

3678 - When you put romance on your venue

A pleasant day, but busy, home all day
Two days in that line - not sure that is good
Organised some comedy info. They
All do that, and so should I, but I could
Not remember a thing, my memory's dud
But after re-re-reading what and where
And when and who, but not why or how, did
Eventually do a table of compere
Venue, type of night, etc, compare
Contrast, prepare to perform and purvey
Laughter, or lack of, help or spoil the mood
I also played a mean uke and guitar
Yes, back practising the six string. Must play
It too, or I'll lose the different method

3677 - Food for sport

Nice to see Jo again, since Italy
I've not seen her, she's been away
Mainly in Portugal, and school study
Has begun for one more year and a day
Where teachers teach and pupils must obey
Today we went once more to Old Trafford
But it was derby day, sadly Jose
And his Reds lost to City, though that's good
For Blues fans like Louis, who's in good mood
No doubt after their precious victory
Expensive signing Pogba didn't play
Well for United, it seems. Nando's food
Filled us up. I'm still not very hungry
Nine hours later, but I'll snack anyway!

3676 - Chin up

I feel bad, increasingly so as day
Turns into evening. I have a headache
Caused by last night's extra unnecessary
Drinking session, made worse by adding smoke
Carla wasn't happy, had a brief look
In her room, then didn't see her again
I think she's struggling with the job. I'd like
To help her if she wants new employment
That task is what her focus should be on
She went out early, now she's shut away
I hope she can come out for a chinwag
I hope she will eat, if she's not eaten
When you feel down you don't even obey
Common sense, just see empty space that's black

3675 - Music to watch girls by

And now here's today's sonnet I'm writing
Thursday evening, Indian Summer, alone
Carla will be here soon, I'm expecting
In the meantime, here I am writing on
In my head it's the 70's I'm in
A time that has long gone, and beers been downed
A lot has happened recently, it's fun
If you're not married or personally drowned
At least, that's what I have personally found
What is the point of endlessly being
Tied to one person, listening to their moans
A pound of flesh, they can't have it, that pound
I'll keep it with mine, though time is passing
Each day's precious, I'll keep them for my own

3674 - Telford Day 3

The last of 3 days working in Telford
When it was done, got train back home again
With Steve who got off at home town, Stockport
While I stayed on til the final station
Then a free bus as far as to Deansgate
I hopped off, walked thru Spinninfields, so hot
For a September, late in afternoon
Carla was working when I reached the flat
I ate a quick snack of mushroom omelette
And then, very briefly, I gave some thought
To Tuesday Tony's comedy that's down
At the Tiger Lounge - quite a crowd tonight
I wore my orange shades, not sure that worked
But overall it was OK, I'm sayin'

3673 - Telford Day 2

All you can eat breakfast at the hotel
Then workshop meeting session soon complete
By lunchtime, well, frankly, I was still full
And so just bought a banana to eat
With Steve, Matthew and Bob, some goodish chat
Plentiful coffee from the free machine
In Matheson House, our workshop retreat
We have local football plans for the e'en
Telford versus Kidderminster, we're seein'
Lovely warm evening, Telford won, 1-0
Got a lift back from Rob, then grabbed a seat
At the Hungry Horse once more, comparin'
Women at work, as the evening settled
Into quietness. Good night's sleep would be neat!

3672 - Telford Day 1

Written a day late, penned Telford, Shropshire
Got the 10:07, Piccadilly
Train to Wolverhampton, had to change there
Went via Shifnal, surprisingly pretty
First look at Telford new town, centrally
With Steve (my manager) and with Matthew
From Newcastle. The workshop went quickly
Thanks to Manesh, lively presenter, who
Outlined the ETMP platform (You
Don't wanna know!) Old Speckled Hen at the
Hungry Horse pub, then too much food for me
At the Four Corners buffet place, pint 2
At Hungry Horse, then to hotel repaired
Read Brothers Grimm, and then slept, fitfully...

3671 - Housewarming outside in the cold!

Thank goodness I did not get wet today
It makes a nice change after that soaking
I got buyng my table yesterday
Some shopping and some comedy learning
While Carla was Caffe Nero working
When she came home she was too tired to go
Her legs were tired, needed to be lying
Down, for sure. So I left her and met Joe
In town and he drove me to today's 'show'
A housewarming party where I could play
Those same songs again that I'd been playing
At Comedy Balloon four days ago
Which was strange - in her garden! - heard the neigh-
bour trimming his tree, and birds low-flying

3670 - Someone left Manchester out in the rain

Well what a day, got absolutely soaked
Not once but twice! It started off normal
I began my day by rehearsing jokes
For tomorrow's housewarming party, full
Of local comics that shouldn't be dull
Then went shopping for a bathmat and searched
For a small round table and chairs. Tables
In Argos weren't sui-table, so I ditched
The catalogue and later walked (not hitched)
To town in pouring rain. Asked NQ folk
In a shop where's old furniture for sale?
Mustard Tree, Oldham Road. From there I fetched
A round wooden table in the rain. Booked
Hired car to move Lou's stuff - but all's now well

3669 - Pictures from Portugal

Good to see Jo's pictures from Portugal
She's having a good time, steering a boat
Here the weather's holding up, far from cool
But for how much longer's the worried thought
Soon more heating energy must be bought
The winter coat will once more be a must
The summer Olympics a long-gone sport
The long light evenings dead, turned to burnt toast
Football I feel also to be a ghost
It will be less important now, with all
The Euro 16 aftermath. Care naught
About these idiots now. As Carla's host
Comedy must lead the way to fulfil
Our shared interest, maybe make cash to boot

3668 - Not too posh to wash

A very busy day off. Big clean-up of
Louis' room, before Carla moved in there
I washed three loads, mainly bedding, and clothes
I even dozed off briefly on sofa
Seems strange to think Louis woke up in there
This morning, and Carla's in there tonight!
Carla got here about three, up the stair-
case with her things. She went out like a light
So wasn't awake when Lou came, to meet
Him. Went with Lou to his new place. Approved
Of it, too. It's in Whalley Range, and near
Quite a few good shops. Me and C saw spots
On offer at Comedy For Sale, love
To do that, we both would. Bedtime is here...

3667 - They were 'avin' a larf

Last night was shit at the King's Arms, but not
Tonight, at the Ape and Apple, no sir
One of my best for ages. Found I got
My missing patter back, the atmosphere
Being warm and supportive much more than there
With only comics who've seen me too much
And virtually no audience, or none that care
But tonight's comedy went without hitch
Except it went so well my last song's ditched
Cos I'd used up time, chatting and whatnot
Good to see Carla, who, though tired, was her
Usual livewire self, and did good onstage
Also saw Janet again. Such a lot
Of fun, let it carry on who knows where

3666 - Three and three sixes

Three and three sixes, total twenty-one
That's the number of this sonnet today
Ten years approaches of this form of fun
Or, if not fun, then duty, some might say
Soon (if I remember) I'll mark the day
On the 5th of September, year 16
I started on that date in '06, way
Back when the world was black and white, or seemed
I didn't like the number three, I themed
A song about that once, but I have come
To accept its existence. It will stay
Despite what I think, hoped, or even dreamed
And so ten years of thought I've nightly spun
Into fourteen lines - it's work and it's play

3665 - Breakfast at Tony's

A lovely sunny day, hope that it lasts
Another week or so because Carla
Is moving in soon! Stayed in, had breakfast
After that, didn't do much, no lah lah
Although I read a bit, listened to more
Music, etc. After this, bath-time
Were going to see David Brent, before
Louis became too busy trying to sign
People up to his novel, and assign
A name to it! He has no time to waste
And as for me, the rest time's nigh over
Two nights of comedy, not learning lines
Exactly, but subjects for patter-fest
Then, on Thursday, Carla moves into here

3664 - Natto natter

A fairly intense day doing nothing
Just thinking about comedy at first
Some good flights of fancy, then did ironing
Read the online 'paper', slaked coffee thirst
Watched and listened to football, and immersed
My fork into a big pile of pasta
Which contained natto beans, was also laced
With quinoa, and gravy added flavour
With some white fish, microwaved. Weird mixture
But healthy. Added lots more listening
To my MP3 player - big new burst
Of 60s and 70s music fare
Should keep me busy learning and playing
Tiredness meant that the uke held slight interest

3663 - Content about the content

A great uke play along to David B
Duke E, the Stranglers and some Jimmy Webb
I'm getting a bit bored though already
On this long weekend, but stay in, absorb
That comedy routine. With broad brush, daub
Its structure and basic content around
The inside of your skull - turn inward, orbs
And scan repeatedly, no TV sound
To distract as you wouldn't have allowed
If you were truly working for money
This is a serious business, though that's glib
But if you want success you go to ground
And get down in the mud and get dirty
Fingernails digging for gold. It's a job!

3662 - Blip

Yesterday evening I was real naughty
I was behaving myself as usual
When, just because I was alone, really
I succumbed to an impulse, no struggle
Even though the desire was minimal
And that was to get booze and fags and go
On the balcony. Just wanted to fill
My ears with more music, so let beer flow
And, of course, smoke along to it. And so
As late as 9:30, went to Sainsbury
And then decamped to the balcony, all
The rain fell on folks, watched them come and go
But I didn't enjoy it, honestly
Or today's junk lunch. Eat, drink well - feel well!

3661 - Liberty Bell Ends

A better day than yesterday. Sonia
Got in touch, and spoken to Carla too
A bit more fun at work, what with Farah
There, not seen her there for a week or two
Weird watching Wendy Olsen talking to
People on Manchester TV channel
Some boring comedian bloke is there too
They're talking about Trump, and talking well
I'm looking forward to debates, babble
Of evasion and insult. Yes, this year
The US election will excite you
If only cos they're both ends of a bell
Would-be prez's of US Insania
And full-time inmates of a human zoo

3660 - Beached tale

Been reading comment threads about the beach
Incident in Nice, France, where recently
A lorry driver killed kids on the streets
Running them over, so mercilessly
Today the police caused great controversy
Insisting that a Muslim woman there
Removed her modest so-called burkini
Causing the bikini-clad folks to stare
And reportedly shout approval. Fear
Has taken hold lately, but did she breach
The non-religious symbols law? Hardly -
This is just about clothes, what they can wear
And cannot - hard to square with what they teach
About freedom, western democracy

3659 - Wooly belly

A hot evening, with sweaty exercise
Then uke playing and learning comedy
Fish fingers today cos I ate the pies
Yesterday, or rather, I finished the
Enormous pie that took 'pproximately
Five evenings to eat, but with an ample
Sample of beans, quinoa, a mushroomy
Helping, and basta pasta, made me full
I feel that foodwise, I am still at school
Learning new things to like, I realise
A wider palette for my palate, free
To choose from mean menus to fill plates, real
Smorgasbords of orgasmic feasts for eyes
But not too fattening for the belly

3658 - Not such an ugly mug

A busy evening, now time to wind down
A great play on the uke, getting quite good
Playing 80s and Stevie, went to town
The jazzier the better, real soul food
Talking of food, at lunchtime I got bored
And though it was raining, I walked on out
To Chinatown, some natto beans were bought
And more matcha tea, though I've no tea spout
I just pour powder in my mug, then hot
Water onto the powder, stir it round
Then drink. This is putting me in the mood
For some matcha tea right now, I've no doubt
Today it felt like quite a storm had blown
In, pathways to work covered by a flood

3657 - Its name was Rio

Been playing football quiz games with Louis
The questions are in a book that I bought
I don't know when. Played my ukulele
Before that, getting better, all self-taught
And it's the last day of Olympic sport
That, and the end, for now, of my travels
Add up to normal work boredom, a sort
Of gloom might descend on some, such travails
Would spoil their Sunday evening, give them chills
But not me, I don't care, need the money
So must accept my duty and my lot
Besides, it's fun sometimes to sweeten pills
By friendly banter, anecdotal spree
So from a work storm, that will be my port

3656 - Fun can be work

A nice day watching Olympics mainly
A bit of Facebook and a lot of rain
Popped to the shops, well, just to Sainsbury
Tried to get back into comedy brain
Principles that came to me as I'd lain
In bed one night recently, must remind
Myself of them and learn my routines, train
Sensibly, for a craft, not just a whined
Mainly made up on the spot, badly timed
Badly memorised and performed. Can't be
Like that anymore. Can't be lazy, vain
Enough to think it's easy, though I find
I can think up stuff quickly, too quickly
I must sift it like seeds and husks of grain

3655 - The blue and the grey

Just about used to being home again!
An early night, an early rise, stuff done
Like sorting out the Italy pix, then
Bought 3 new CD sets, listened to one
(Sixties, 5 CDs in all), which was fun
And played the first 70s one, playing
The uke along to it - know all those songs
Now watching the Olympics. More gold bling
Won by Nick Skelton (how's he still going?!)
Coming up, the hockey final (women)
GB v Holland - come on, Great Britain!
Much of the day we have seen rain falling
A contrast to the recent Italian
Heat and blue skies where I have just come from

3654 - Tuscany Day 4

The final day was really just about
Catching the flight home, from flat to airport
On time, which we did easily. Oh, but
We left the air-conditioning on. What sort
Of forgetfulness is that? I had bought
Some pistachios, ate some on the train to
Pisa from Florence, made Jo quite distraught
Disposing of the shells! Josie bought two
Prezzies at the airport. Impatient queue
The plane took off late, but turned round about
The Leaning Tower, white stone, green grass, so short
From that height of course, like a matchstick view
That historic building. There is no doubt
We live in lucky times - cherish the thought!

3653 - Tuscany Day 3

Woke at nine, coffee and toast, walked to bus
Then saw the bits of Florence that we missed
Like walking along the Arno, far as
The Ponte Vecchio, and the old markets
The next thing was Siena, but got pissed
Off waiting for the train, and then what's more
It ambled through the country towns, a waste
Of one and a half hours until we saw
It arrive at Siena. Made a poor
Choice of direction, walked wrong way, took us
Half an hour more to find the old town, plus
I had enormous blisters and felt sore
(Mozzy bites on my legs). Dined there, then just
In time for the train back. Blisters aren't bliss :(

Wed 17 Aug

3652 - Tuscany Day 2

Hot again, both slept in, woke 9:30
Lolled around Sonia's flat for several hours
I studied local maps trying to see
How we would get to Florence by the bus
Or maybe train. No-one to advise us
In the end, got bus 28, costing
Only 2 euros each, and little fuss
Walked round Florence, got a map, soon eating
A late lunch, then open-top bus riding
What seemed mainly around the ring road. We
Then saw the Duomo (big dome, Renaissance)
But before the river, Jo was tiring
In the heat, so no Ponte Vecchio. See
If we can go there tomorrow. Adios!

Tue 16 Aug

3651 - Tuscany Day 1

First day, and both tiring and challenging
Not much sleep, lift to airport from Tania
Straight onto plane, got there early. Finding
The car hire place was tricky, but once there
I found I'd hired it not from this airport
(Pisa / Florence) but Florence. Stupider
You could not get. What absence of forethought
After that setback, relaxed - now no fraught
Worries about parking, even crashing
Used buses and trains. Firstly, saw Pisa
And, of course, the Tower, tickets hard-fought
To use, but did it, standing way up there
Listening to bells. Sampled local cooking
(Pasta, and ice cream) - hope to sample more!

Mon 15 Aug

3650 - On my marks

I'm nearly ready to pack and head out
Early start tomorrow for the airport
Excitement and nerves rising, little doubt
This will be a challenge, almost like sport
Mainly the driving, finding ways about
Not getting lost, especially in Florence
When looking for Sonia's flat. I may spout
Some rude words, but I hope not, no nonsense
Of a rude kind for Jo's ears. Could be tense
If I drive the wrong way down a town route
I have a map, and typed directions, but
I may hopefully have a satnav, hence
There'll be more confidence. But now, my mouth
Needs feeding, so I'll end versified thought

3649 - Going for gold

Just got in after a drink with Carla
To see that there's another cycling gold
For Britain, the women, a team of four
It was good to see Carla, and I told
Her that her room's there for her, I was bold
And said I hope it happens, she agreed
Meanwhile the Olympics have taken hold
Of my attention, the emotions bleed
To see us doing so well, and our pride
Is restored after football's disaster
Earlier this summer in France, when we could
Not do the basics, millionaire brains fried
Yet here we are in Rio, all can share
In the elation, Britain's trademark sold

3648 - Tea for three

I'm out tonight with D and N, not C
C is tired, she's been out most evenings
This week, to several nights of comedy
She's probably already better known in
Local establishments specialising
In laughs, but she's so fearless,, doesn't care
Maybe I can learn from that, forgetting
My reserve that just holds me back. A pair
Of friends meeting me tonight, not for beer
But for tea and a snack, though there might be
A pint or two later. Then I'm staying
In Saturday, but seeing C after
She finishes work in Deansgate's Cafe
Nero. Italy looms! It's exciting!!!

3647 - Lingo Bingo

I've done the last chapter of the Instant
Italian (chapter 6). Now I just need
To revise the whole book, and then I've spent
The last month wisely, and planted the seed
Of the lingo before going. Indeed
I wish I could learn more. Maybe an app
If time allows, method I've never tried
When we get there it'll all be on tap
Italian everywhere when we look up
Although increasingly, this global tent
Is dominated by English. We read
It in the shop names, cafes where we sup
The road signs saying STOP (like in England)
Now for some uke and Olympics, then bed!

3646 - The one that finally got away

Another busy tiring day at the
Office, nipping out to get my euro's
At about 2:15, eventually
Getting away about 4:30, those
Tasks being ticked off one by one as those
Days left before Italy dwindle down
To two more workdays and the weekend's close
I've once more failed to do Italian
In the evening, and time has almost gone
But still time to do it Thursday, Friday
And Saturday, as I'm not seeing Jose
Until Sunday evening. We'll soon be brown
From Italian sunshine, well, hopefully
Great uke playing tonight - deserve my doze!

3645 - Flat out

The Olympics are now well underway
The women's gymnastics - bronze possible
There were a few fourth places yesterday
Always the most frustrating of them all
An intense, demanding work day, then stroll
To Vee's flat, ate a pie, drank a coffee
And chatted, then hired a van to move all
Her stuff back in that had been at Robbie
And Dan's flat nearby. Brought towels, books with me
That Vee gave away, then I made my way
Back home, slight shower as I neared Liverpool
Road, carrying these things. Too tired for the
Italian practice now. Don't need to stay
Up late, need an early one, no struggle

3644 - Friendship never ends...

A fun night messaging and playing uke
Did exercises, but no Italian
However, tomorrow, I won't rebuke
Myself if I do my Italian then
And I must also practice my routine
I sketched out Sunday morning for the gig
At Comedy Balloon, end August, in
The Ape and Apple. I don't care a fig
If it's brilliant or not, they just won't dig
Me if I don't thoroughly learn it. Fluke
It's not, a good act, hard work, discipline
All that boring stuff's vital. I must think
Of the end goal, not the lead-up, take stock
Of Adam Peaty's swimming gold, and win!

3643 - Night thoughts 1

It's been a full day, and a fun night out
Last night I lay in bed with productive
Use of that time, by focusing my thought
On what to do with my comedy. Gave
It some thought in the dark, what I believe
I should do with my act, how to progress
It helped me to doze off, but still I strove
To think of a strategy, did my best
As I grew more tired, to plan my success
Because I normally just drift and sort
Of wing it, don't learn it properly, a half-
Hearted attempt at best. Well I attest
That first thing today I fully wrote out
Those thoughts on paper, honest as I live

3642 - Cycle of sport

Nice day out at my flat with Josephine
Watching (four years late) the opening show
Of the London Olympics! Rio's in
Progress now, cycling road race done, don't know
Whether Froome won it yet, but first, it's so
Football, Championship highlights are on next
Did Derby beat Brighton? Go Rams. Please, go!
Four seasons of let-downs, any pretext
It seems, used to throw it away. Got vexed
Hope Pearson sorts discipline in the team
My Man United package still no show
Our membership cards are where? I'm perplexed...
Forest beat Burton 4-3. Quite a scene
In the East Midlands (Leicester champions) now

3641 - You're taking the Michael, Foot

I just wanna rest on this Friday night
Last night I struggled to drop off, got aches
In feet, couldn't get comfortable, I tried
For ages, news bulletins were replaced
By others and then by others, a taste
Of endless repetition, maybe of
Eternity? In unchanging bed placed
Then at some point I did black out, above
Or below the cares of the world, its love
Hate and indifference. One more week to glide
Through at work, then holiday - sun in spades
A shot of vitamin D courtesy of
Tuscany, on an autostrada ride
Sonia Torretti's flat's where we'll be based!

3640 - Yes they can

Just listening to Tomorrow - Claramount
Lake. Steve Howe's guitar does the rock business
Just posted pix on FB, just about
Building sites in Salford, scaffolding, mess
Hard hats, boots, dirty hands and wolf whistles
Actually, no, that was just a cliche
I never heard those sounds through my headset
Was listening to Taste walking on the way
To work along Salford's Trinity Way
These hard-hatted men WERE working there, out
In numbers, while I walked to the office
I'm in, or will be, while they're out. Do they
Embody Brexit? Give that plank a clout,
Bill. More flats, more shops and more offices

3639 - You've gotta laugh or else I'll cry

Quite a day. Carla the Italian is
Planning on moving in, will it happen?
Met her after work, showed her the flat, she's
In favour of it all at this moment
I hope the room will be free but by then
If it's not, then I'm not sure if it will
She rushed off home by bus, then out again
We went to comedy, Ape and Apple
The downstairs deserted as usual
But upstairs, lots there, The acts were a buzz
I laughed a lot and had plenty of fun
And in the break we signed up for the bill
On the last day of August, so don't miss
The show, cos we will both be performin'

3638 - Pub life

Dave was ill and absent tonight at the
Worst Comedy Night in Salford in the
King's Arms, Bloom Street, Salford, that's the
Usual venue, folk turned up, as per
Usual, some people were usuals, some were
Not, these guys were pissheads, way out of the
Normal zone, who were they? Didn't know the
Guys, some were from Liverpool, and some were
From Manchester or from that vague area
It was surreal, so surreal that we went for a
Beer at the Gas Lamp afterwards, Carla
Was there, and Carmen from Spain (Sevilla)
I got slightly drunk, I ain't shittin' ya
Now here I am, drunk, first time for a while, yeah, yeah