4989 - Sardine removal machine

And so it's time before I go to bed
To do my diary, though it's easier not
But I'd rather do it now than to dread
Tomorrow, knowing it was in the pot
Of tasks. Time's short, especially Fridays. Got
To be free far as possible, enjoy
The weekend, break loose, just be free to float
So I'll do this now, though I'm a bad boy
Not eaten this evening, I used the ploy
Of beer as a reward, and that's instead
Of food, and now my stomach's in a knot
It's making noises, trying to destroy
My peace of mind. Got sardines though. If fed
On those quickly now, I might gain comfort

4960 - A day in the laugh

I need an early night, with no drinking
It's no fun when you're tired, really, is it?
But before it's too late in the evening
Each of the last few nights I've done a skit
Or song of some kind for the internet
Seven in a row since starting this scheme
Of daily comedy videos and yet
I'm not worried I'll run out of a theme
I could just waffle, won't run out of steam
Now that I've started, there'll be no stopping
This sonnet diary, that was just the start
Since September '06, how long I've been
Writing it. Now I can add one more thing
That's daily - a video comedy hit!

4902 - Do adjust your set

Early start, and a long day in office
But still I did exercises later
Sent over a biog and couple of pix
For the upcoming gig in Middlesbrough
Wednesday night - so soon! Needed to prepare
So next, I rewrote the set, started to
Learn the words, and I might practice in ,,, where?
In bed, that's where, and it might be fun too
So I can wake early again I do
Want to finish these sonnetary tricks
And get creative under the covers
Jiggling with words, juggling with how d'ye do?
So don't say to me, hey, you can't touch this
Because I need to touch my big idea

4767 - Exercise 101

Decent night's sleep, felt quite energetic
Enough to do my mat exercises
Also tonight, once more played a mean uke
Playing along to funk and rock classics
No matter how hard, seemed to play with ease
For two hours twenty minutes. In the end
I had to stop. It's getting late and these
Other things need to get done, like send
This sonnet into cyberspace. Defend
The impossible, that's our politics
And Question Time's on later. Laugh at this
Programme, you may as well, as they offend
And interrupt each other, Commons schtick
Brought into once polite TV studios

4697 - Do fishes drink?

Oops! I'm three days behind, and I know why
It's because the last two nights, I got sloshed
And clean forgot sonnet-writing duty
On Thursday, went to an Excise workshop
Then back home posted pix which made a splash
Then played some good uke, and then just felt good
And felt like celebrating with some pop
And listening to Funky Jams playlist, mood
Further lifted by groovy gals and dudes
That's all I then could do til the time I
Had to go to bed, for sleep time was squashed
I had, or thought I had, indeed I should
Have known I didn't, have a meeting. Why
It was still in my diary, I'm non-plussed

Thur 4 July

4684 - Dreadin' Edinburgh (or getting up early)

Got more beer in, but feeling so weary
That's good, cos tomorrow's an early start
3:45 to be precise (f*ck me!)
So I must begin drinking if I'm smart
It's already 8pm, and I'm sort
Of drinking, but not with the appetite
Of yesterday, when it seemed like an art
I'll knock more back soon, but first I must write
This sonnet, or when Sunday comes I might
Have four or five, backlog of literary
Outpourings to compose, trying to depart
From the mere present in a mental fight
To recall distant events, albeit they
Were just a few days old. Still find it hard!

4646 - The wolves of Rosalind Court

My God, feels like I spent all night watching
That Leonardo film, Wolf of Wall Street
L Di Caprio, not Da Vinci - daft thing!
I kept pausing it, kept on hearing shouts
Thought it was through my wall, source of the heat
Was it Florida and her current man
But no! It came from below. Being discreet
I lay on the floor with ear hard upon
The floorboards, but unable to discern
What it was all about, even telling
The language proved impossible. Forgot
The last three nights' diary entries, oh damn!
I'm staying up late now, rectifying
That oversight... Four diary entries wrote!!!!

Tue 14 May

4428 - Germany of an idea

Really tired, can't find any energy
But I must do some kind of song practice
If when we're in Berlin I want to play
At an open mic night. So after this
Sonnet is written, at the very least
I must listen to the chosen songs more
Than once to learn them better, which will boost
My confidence to play and sing them for
The audience. Never done these songs before
Not sung songs properly for ages, Could be
Getting laughs is the thing that I do best
Keep the songs simple while you sing and you're
Giving yourself a chance. Keep it easy
Like in an interview. A piece of piss!

4411 - All in vein

Hello, here we are, it's late Thursday night
Been out with Helen and despite the rain
We enjoyed it, starting with one or two pints
At The Vine, then Turtle Bay, and then on
To Jimmy's, Newton Street, poetry pain
And pleasure, young crowd, and Gerry Potter
I'm pleased to say my efforts weren't in vain
I hit them with three sonnets, got laughter
They didn't know I'd been to Edinburgh
And survived the comedy tightrope, tight
More than this, this wasn't scary, my veins
Were more interested in boozing than the
Conventions of whatever these folks might
Expect, and I did OK. Can't explain....

4407 - Flat (no longer) broke

Yesterday's sonnet was written while drunk
That's why it's meaningless mumbo jumbo
The blood gets excited, brain's in a funk
Senses weakened, disruption of thought's flow
Today however, before seeing Jo
The odd job man who lives nearby, he rang
To say he was coming. I'd asked him so
Various things could be screwed in tight or banged
In place. The bathroom door had to be slammed
Shut, now it's quiet, no more that nasty clunk
Disturbing whoever's asleep. Chan's woe
Is over now, she's got a bolt to swing
Into place to keep me out! New shelf hung
In the kitchen. The cost? Just ten quid's dough!

4394 - Bedquake - disaster movie

Listening to jazz as I type this sonnet
Been out for tea at the Cote Brasserie
With Josephine who's back from Lanzarot
With a great tan and looking real healthy
At least they'll see she's been on holiday
When she goes back to school this week and meets
Her friends again. I'm so tired. Last night they
Were back and at it again 'tween the sheets
On the stroke of midnight they came, complete
Satisfaction, from the noise, you'd have thought
But then, forty-five minutes after three
Bedsprings in earthquake mode, repeat, repeat
And once again at six, more sex, dammit
So I've got beer in, oblivion the key

4342 - Seasons in the sun - reasons they could be fun

Yesterday sat in my old seat once more
And so could chat to Helen, Dave, Cesar
Helen looked swell, she agreed to go for
Lunch next week, it's useful to go over
Interview tips, cos that's my weak area
Or so they tell me. Forgot my diary
Friday evening, was on social media
A rare state of affairs I'm that busy
On there, so much so, forgot completely
I'd not done this sonnet! I remember
It was a warm evening, long hot summer
We'll look back on this hot time so fondly
When the darkness descends towards winter
Especially if heat was spent together

Fri 13 July

4150 - Going nowhere slow

Woke up real early, too tired to say much
Maybe of late these have become boring
Anyway. How can I spice them up, touch
A common nerve rather than just listing
The unimpressive thoughts and deeds going
On in my head and life, going nowhere
While still going places when travelling
But always coming back to this sad lair
Not that I want a partnership to share
Life with, just fun friends will do, when I budge
From the flat, which ain't that often, wanting
Company isn't a major need. Dare
To do what I want, no-one else can judge
They do what they want, so it's the same thing

4096 - Talkin' bout a revolution

I forgot Thursday's sonnet. Too tired
And preoccupied with the interview
On Friday. I remember that I tried
Only to watch some TV, and to view
Lucy Worsley's third Romanov review
Alexanders 2 and 3, Nicholas
1 and 2, revolutions 1 and 2
1905, and '17, of course
I forgot my diary with all of this
And with the pressure, and my brain was tired
With 11 hours of prep. So would you
Be tired and forgetful with all that stress
(It paid off, I think. On Friday I did
Very well, best yet in an interview!)

Thur 9 Nov

3995 - Some cities

My second film in a few days - I saw
City of Ghosts, about Raqqa, Syria
And the struggle to document the war
And ISIS occupation that's been there
Since 2014, causing great despair
Back home now, no time for uke, read about
Barcelona in Catalonia
Me and Jo go there on Thursday. Checked out
My Budget Guide to Europe. Little doubt
It should be a good one. I wrote some more
Creative diary entries. Sonneteer
Right now, followed by salted fish to eat
(Before it goes off!), watching the soccer
(Women's), and then acting - I must prepare!!!

3977 - Black comedy

I nearly forgot tonight's diary blog
So I'm typing this just after midnight
I feel energised tonight, and can log
What I've managed to do, apart from slight
Achievements - eating, remembering to write
This sonnet, and complaining to Carla
That my comedy hopes were taking flight
But not in the right direction. Career?
No chance, it seems that I am still nowhere
But despite potential depressive fog
Of inactivity, inactive blight
Instead, I got a new Leeds set prepared
For Tuesday night, played good uke, then still strong
Enough to learn my acting script. All right!!

3964 - Quotation time

Nearly forgot tonight's diary entry
Settling down to Question Time, remembered
So leapt off the sofa, typing quickly
So I can then sit back down, conscience cured
Because duty done. This evening's been good
For getting things done. Exercised at last
Played the uke, read quotations, ate and cooked
But not in that order, felt energised
I was profiting, having realised
Gains from last night's sound sleep. Impressively
I then chose and learned a monologue, read
A Woody Allen passage - learned it fast!
Read more quotes, then even more pleasingly
Had retained in my mind all Woody's words!

3932 - Fast sun

Today's the first day of my three day fast
I've felt normal so far, typing up my
Sonnet diaries, got the backlog reduced
Even sunbathed under a bright blue sky
On the grass outside my flat, just to try
To take advantage of this sunny spell
Showers forecast for tomorrow, so why
Not? Haven't eaten, despite tempting smell
From the kitchen as Carla cooked. Can tell
I'm feeling quite tired now, having refused
Food all day. It's now tea-time. Getting by
OK as regards hunger, not so well
When it comes to flagging energy. Trust
This will get worse as further days go by...

Fri 26 May 17

3916 - Wed 10 May 17

The big day of the interview, sunny
So I left off my jacket to keep cool
I even took in trigger notes, slightly
Risky perhaps, but seems it's the new rule
Everyone's doing it these days, so you'll
Agree I did OK, it's not cheating
So many busy nights and days. To chill
Was my aim, to enjoy a fine evening
Which I did by drinking and by playing
On the uke (that's short for ukulele)
One thing I must soon add to my schedule
Is buying a new laptop. This writing
Of daily sonnets on paper will be
A big job to type up. Homework, like school!

3891 - Sat 15 April 17

Oops, in yesterday's sonnet, talked about
Today's activity, in Liverpool
With Jo, on the train. Quite windy, not wet
Sunny at times. Albert Dock was too full
No tables available, had to pull
Out and head back to the main shops, to Cote
Brasserie - yes, there's one in Liverpool
Though no set menu, food still a delight
I had chicken, Jo had steak, which she liked
We walked to Mathew Street, a few minutes
Down in the new Cavern Club, which was cool
For Jo to see - well actually, quite hot!!
And that was that, soft lad! Yes that was that!
Won't see Jo til my return from Israel...