4916 - Marcellout

My left leg bone hurts just below the knee
No idea why, didn't bang it at all
When I walk it's OK, but when in the
Office it seemed to get far more painful
Disappointment after work. Missed Marcel
Proust-inspired 'La Captive' film and a talk
Beforehand. Didn't expect it to sell
Out! So, despite my bad knee, had to walk
Home, but it's cold out, that's almost a shock
These days. Winter's now almost already
Over, so I'm not complaining. Snowfall
Would have been nice to walk through, but no luck
Just relaxing now in Salford City
In my flat, in the warm, sore knee and all...

4723 - Here I go, here I go, here I go!

I didn't find a way to safely dye
My teeth for Edinburgh - just as well,
Maybe! It would have washed off, gone down my
Throat, or, if food dye, proved impossible
To make it stain my teeth, and would have swilled
Straight off at the first drink or snack I ate!
Today ticked off important things - I'm thrilled
That I'm collecting the keys to the flat
Soon as I arrive, unpack, sort my shit
Then I'll be meeting A and K just by
Surgeons Hall, our venue, café table
To discuss respective plans and shows. It
Is now really taking shape! Will time fly
Or drag? Either way, it may prove crucial!

4722 - Tell the tooth

I did my back in yesterday, bending
Down to the floor, writing notes on paper
And twisting - that's the worst thing for straining
The spine and its muscles. They need repair
But no time to slow down, or else the fear
Will infiltrate deeper inside my mind
Next thing to do is tooth dyeing. I hear
It's best to always tell the tooth. I'll find
More to do after that. I have declined
To maintain my website - maybe trying
To post stuff on there is the best idea
While I've got my laptop with me. I've dined
Now to crack on, my time is shortening
Maybe I'll be brave, or just shave my hair...

4718 - Tone loves the sun

Felt more energetic today, felt good
At lunchtime, bought more hairspray and a watch
To time my act. In my shorts, felt I would
Be able to fit in an hour and catch
More sun, which I did, tan topped up a touch
Looks good as I sit here now typing this
In the humid evening, though rain's a much
Closer prospect than it would seem unless
You'd seen the forecast. Now need to rehearse
The show, having strummed tunes on uke. I did
Exercises in the heat. I'll be such
A busy boy soon, but must shun excess
Try real hard to stay fit, eat well, fresh food
Through August, get my sleep, and just relax...

4714 - My good health!

I was so tired but overcame it by
Buying Kronenbourg and necking it quick
And so now I'm ready for bed if I
Can have another piss before I flick
Myself under the covers, but must stick
Where I am right now, cos Chan's back, and is
Showering, back from Spain, the hot water licks
Her fat body, hard to imagine this
Is my life, but it's funny nonetheless
I wish we could live longer, then we'd try
To learn from our mistakes. If we can lick
Old age by keeping fit, we hope for bliss
Did exercises, worked on my show, why
Not try, not trying would be lunatic...

4711 - Warmth of the strum

Still not a proper night's sleep, but still I
Managed to do a full day's work, even
Doing exercises on the mat, eye
Drops moistening my bloodshot orbs, regain
A healthier look's the aim. Walking again
Comfortably, my heel's feeling better
The doc's stretching advice working. so when
I can, I stand half off a step. If chair-
Bound, I bend my feet up into the air
So I should be fit at the Fringe for my
Energetic show, and covering terrain
Trying to see other shows when time's spare
Still so much to do, to do I will try
Practised my songs on the uke. Warm evening

4667 - Slimline sonic

A hard but rewarding work day and then
Great news - home exercise done first time for
About two weeks. I was on the mat when
Chan came in the room! Luckily I wore
Shorts and a vest - she didn't see me bare!
My tummy was beginning to stick out
My dream is to have abs beyond compare
But I'll settle for fairly slim, not stout!
Ate chicken, its price reduced, cos no doubt
I need to save where I can, cos I'll spend
On my show, and the Milan trip is near
Then a blast on the uke, Buzzcocks freak-out
Plus some classic punk, fast, furious and raw
Must have been exciting for all to hear!

4648 - Absolutely challenged

An enjoyable day at the office
A room full of women, and I did good
Seemed to know my stuff, first time I've felt this
For a while. Also helped create a mood
Of fun and comradeship with people who'd
Never met me before. Confidence boost
And very welcome too! Shopping for food
Then home, got down on the mat for that most
Useful routine, ABSolute Challenge, forced
Stretch and strain of my abs, try to resist
That outward stomach bulge as we get old
That look in men and women is the worst
Then  my best-ever uke session, with Yes
And The Smiths the music. Then, breaded cod!!

4629 - Scrub a dub dub

A little bit jaded, last night, drank some
And why not - when out Thursday, just drank coke
No hangover and no dehydration
So played uke, had a drink and had a smoke
Played ska anthems, listened to Killing Joke
Went to bed at some point and slept quite well
This morning, cleaned the flat, having a poke
Into dusty corners, shave, shower, all
So far done in the nude. What if Chan called
In unexpectedly? She'd see my bum
That's what, stuck in the air, which could provoke
Her into martial arts mood. She's spent all
The last three evenings in the local gym
A fight with her, no thanks, she'd leave me broke

4623 - Last Tango in Ancoats

A hot sunny day, just like Morocco
(But more humid). Sunbathing not needed
Because I'm still peeling, not set to go
Tanning just yet. Besides, I visited
Vee and Louis, on foot, benefited
From plenty of the sun's rays on the way
Watched footy, talked politics, debated
The state of our schools in austerity
Before I went out I started to play
Last Tango in Paris, Marlon Brando
And Maria Schneider, which really did
Make waves in the early 70s, grey
Shades, not really, more shocking, long ago
I'll watch the last hour next, then time for bed

4616 - Fringe benefit

An efficient day's work at home! Today
I set up the Bony Productions site
On Go Daddy, it's live and you can see
My logo and my Fringe show dates, all right!
That was the main achievement. Conquering fright
Of tech things generally, and laziness
I'm on a roll. Next, a new Twitter site
Linked to it, which I'll use as The Fringe nears
Ordered new white tee shirts, Tee Shirt Xpress
Since the pink stains on it won't go away!
Booked an electrician to fix the light
In the bathroom. Chan will be pleased, oh yes!
Washed myself and bed sheets, skin flakes at bay
(From my peeling skin!). Washed, ironed, ate right...

4614 - Head, hands and feet

So tired but still I had a useful day
At work, then when home played ukulele
Devastatingly, starting with Roxy
Then Queen, Sparks and Smiths, played incredibly
Well, endorphins released, moving to me
As I play, nodding head and tapping feet
After that, watched a film from Germany
The Edukators, set on Berlin's streets
And then its second half made it complete
Set in Bavarian mountain scenery
Looking down on a lake - the Konigsee?
Dropped off immediately I hit the sheets
Got much-needed rest, and recovery
Was effective, next morning felt OK

Fri 12 April

4612 - Plonky reggae party

Played uke to some reggae this evening, I'm
Getting good at it now, yeah, rastaman
The evening's gone so fast, had little time
To do much, it seems. Bought some new headphones
On way home, listened to music, and then
Uke bashing, rubbing, scrubbing and dubbing
Also had a shave, shower, rubbed off skin
From last week's great Morocco sunbathing
The back was done in a day, now peeling
Helen not confirmed Crete and its Med clime
Yet. We're both short of funds and leave, and am
Also waiting to hear from the printing
People about my flyers. Must ask Tom
About publicity shots very soon

4604 - Morocco Day 6

Last real day of the trip - tomorrow will
Be just travelling by taxi, bus and plane
I was moody at breakfast time, slept ill
And was pissed off the evenings are in vain
But I must be forgiving of Helen
She's on a different body clock from me
And gets wiped out by evening, she is drained
A lot of people are the same, really
A poor visit to Agadir's souk, the
Idiot taxi driver thought he could milk
Us, but he couldn't. Helen got her main
Prize, a brown purse. Walked on the prom where we
Ate lunch, then sunbathed once more. We have filled
Our skins with tan, and so achieved our aim!

2 April

4603 - Morocco Day 5

This has been my favourite day of the hol
So far. Agadir. No travelling or stress
Breakfast, then shopping, then a little stroll
To the bank, and more shopping. Got carpets
Well, small rugs, Helen got some small trinkets
And perfume, then back to Hotel Tildi
For mega-sunbathing session. Got pissed
Then a massage, Helen next door to me
I made my hair grey for publicity
Purposes, took photos near to the hill
Behind the marina. We were both less
Than comfortable, with sunburn. Then next, we
Had ice-cream and coffee. Back to hotel
Saw Agadir after dark. All good, yes...!!!

1 April

4602 - Morocco Day 4

Last breakfast at Hotel Oudaya, then
Took a chance we could catch an early bus
To Agadir. Got on. Slowly the sun
Defeated the clouds the more we went west
Until clear blue skies brought us happiness
As the small red taxi drove quickly to
Our hotel. With no delay, got undressed
And down to the poolside, sun loungers two...
Unfortunately there was a man who
Ruined it by staring at little Helen
She didn't care but I did. Caused a fuss
By sitting with us for a close-up view
Got tans though! On the beach, the strong ocean
Wind made it chilly, but it was heaving!

31 March

4601 - Morocco Day 3

Grey sky frowned on us, morning rain on pool
We waited in the lobby for a man
He found us and we got in his white van
And picked up the rest in the main square who'll
Be on the Atlas trip. Some lads, German
An American friend of theirs, family
Of Japanese, some based Chicago, and
Off we drove. Sunny now, and luckily
For first stop was the camel ride, with me
In the lead on a white one. Then an oil
Place, argan oil made here, then a walk in
The Imlil Valley, got wet and cold. She
(Helen) was in a bad state, much too cool
Chattering teeth. Played uke in room. Night then!

30 March

4600 - Morocco Day 2

First full day, sunny, made the best of it
Had breakfast, but too cold to sunbathe then
At the poolside. We found a place to sit
On an open-top bus, but poor Helen
Was feeling ragged from our boozy plane
Ride. She recovered, gained an appetite
Hopped off in old Marrakesh, walked within
Its alleys and markets, but didn't quite
Find the Jamaa el Fna until tonight
In between, we sunbathed, managed to get
A sun lounger each, began a good tan
Front and back, in my case, got some sunlight
On my tattoos. I bought a blue jacket
And an orange wallet. Back before ten

29 March

4599 - Morocco Day 1

Sunny day in Manchester, but so what?
Me and Helen were headed for Afrique
Marrakesh, Morocco, where it's more hot
And hopefully our skins will soon turn pink
Or burn pink, then to brown, if we can sink
Into two sun loungers by the pool, soon
(This is tomorrow morning I'm writing)
Smooth flight, lots to drink, of course lots of drink
Taxi man held Helen's name in airport
On a white card. We hopped in, drunken loons
Got to the Hotel Oudaya, heard tunes
From someone nearby. Hotel bar was gone
By 10pm, but H was pissed as fart
Massaged her feet, then tried to get some kip

28 March 

4598 - From Morocco to where?

Well here we go, the last diary before
Morocco with HH! Just got to pray
For an improvement in the weather there
Last night there was a thunderstorm on my
Phone when I checked the Marrakesh night sky!
If we don't get sun, no matter the cost
I'll see if she wants another one, fly
To Greece or Turkey in June, cos we MUST
Have a sunny trip, sunbathing in vest
Or shorts or trunks and bikini in her
Case (not mine!), as I know she hoped for a
Chance to disrobe and show off her real lust-
Provoking shape and tan built up in four
Or five tanning sessions, spas, to prepare!