5007 - After strife

So happy, everything's good, sun shining
Birds singing, I'm drinking, but out of joy
A dream is taking shape, no regretting
No hesitating, this is not a ploy
It's not delusion, this is no decoy
There's someone there who can bring happiness
So now before anything can destroy
This moment, I'll think just how much I'm blessed
And now I'm going to watch After Life. Yes,
It covers these same areas I'm feeling
Life is often shit, but now here's a toy
That makes me recall childhood when you get
The thing you've craved at Christmas, been waiting
So long, forever, but it's here now, boy!

5002 - Loving it

It's all good, I happen to know the best
Woman in the world, bar none, so so nice
Why am I so fortunate, am I blessed
Things don't normally work out this way, why's
It working out now? It's life's mysteries
But if you stay alive, you'll find the one
OK I'm drunk, but I'm still right. Queries
May come and go but things have become fun
And that's what I want, fun, abandonment
Craziness, unadulterated, most
Uninhibited, impulses once, twice
In the moment, each day is a new one
Unleash the hitherto restricted beast
And let me loose to claim the deserved prize

4922 - Smoking by the pool

How strange! The weather forecast yesterday
Showed heavy rain all day, with Storm Dennis
The culprit. And yet it's quite a nice day!
Hopefully the devastation promised
In West Yorkshire once again will be missed
The sandbags in place give reassurance
In Australia of course it's even worse
The vital forests were burning for months
Melbourne, world list-topper for residence
Now shrouded in choking smoke. Stay away!
Summers by the pool, barbecues and beers
No longer safe. Make sure someone fastens
Windows and doors. Golden days of sports play
Gone forever, green now brown, ash for grass

4912 - Trauma transformer

Today was pretty good, quite a few laughs
Lots of work done, and mental health talks which
Were interesting and moving. Down dark paths
Worse than mine, a relief knowing I'm such
A relatively calm person, though much
Of my life's marked by a series of fails
More than many of these sufferers, can't match
Their pain, it's internal. My anguish pales
Beside their trauma and what it entails
If I can avoid all those psychopaths
Whether individual or group, I stitch
The wounds quickly and find peace soon prevails
And cheerfulness resumes, so I give thanks
I'm lucky after all, though life's a bitch

4788 - It's not me

Oh my God, this life is crazy for sure
Having a great time despite fools around
I no longer give ground, too many poor
Experiences from people all around
They have issues, so do I, as I've found
So why should I carry the can? Teachers
Deal with this every day, but grown-ups own
Their decisions, and so it is perverse
For me to cater for grown-up weirdness
I thought I was immature, yes, but your
Failings are not mine to correct, or ground
In reality, if you're so much worse
Sink or swim yourself in your own ordure
I've my own agenda now, and it's sound

4774 - Objection, m'lud

A quick one, because it's already late
Question Time has begun, from Southampton
I've had a few beers, and I have since ate
Now it's the closure of evening, it's done
I'll watch QT for a while, hear someone
Voice objections, then retire after a
Good day at work, coped with all obstruction
That's why I was happy and needed a
Celebratory drink. And so now for
The end of today, I appreciate
Everything that the universe gives one
So much is good, how can we now concur
That it isn't? It's left down now to fate
What happens, but life means that we've all won

4719 - Do one

Oh life, you are so funny, so wicked
Luckily, I can cope, though it is hard
I am not equipped really to succeed
But I can dissect you, you ball of lard
I am above you, I am quickly bored
With your bullshit, at every turn you try
To dictate, but you don't have what I've stored
It beats anything you can throw. Won't cry
Anytime soon, will out-think you, and I
Say, bring it on, it's a battle, won't hide
Won't back off, despite dullness from the herd
To say I lack confidence is a lie
I'll take you, shake you, beat you with my head
You can hoist yourself on your own petard

4717 - What's it all about, Tony?

Not as sunny as yesterday, but still
Warm. No shorts today, but tomorrow I'll
Wear them, the sun will blaze, and I'll sizzle
Out at lunch if time, if not, go home while
The sun's still hot, and sunbathe there, I'll pile
Onto my towel. It could be 32
Or maybe 34 or more. Must toil
Hard as I can not to miss the days you
Only get rarely. Last year, not a few
Golden summer days were wasted. Battle
Away in the office to no avail
Joke around, what do I get? If I do
Well at the Fringe, so what? Who'll care? But thrill
It would still be after this lifelong trial

4714 - My good health!

I was so tired but overcame it by
Buying Kronenbourg and necking it quick
And so now I'm ready for bed if I
Can have another piss before I flick
Myself under the covers, but must stick
Where I am right now, cos Chan's back, and is
Showering, back from Spain, the hot water licks
Her fat body, hard to imagine this
Is my life, but it's funny nonetheless
I wish we could live longer, then we'd try
To learn from our mistakes. If we can lick
Old age by keeping fit, we hope for bliss
Did exercises, worked on my show, why
Not try, not trying would be lunatic...

4640 - Fringing it all back home

Felt tired this afternoon after last night's
Amazing football match and drinks. I had
To get beers, as you do when life excites
You so much. Liverpool through to Madrid...
And breaking news, Spurs win at Ajax. Mad!
An all-English Champions League final, then!
The day after David's wedding, not bad
Prospect, to watch that on TV, and when?
Saturday the First of June! Tonight, been
Watching a Fringe podcast about advice
On marketing. All good, but not so glad
About the lack of tech help at Surgeons
Hall! Despite the high cost, no help with lights
Or sound, unless I pay! Disappointed!

4626 - Here he comes again

Good day at work, sorted out Fringe stuff, and
Also flights to Milan, late June, July
Back home, did abs exercises, and planned
My posters and flyers, it looks like I
Am well on track! Lake Como is nearby
Milan, I'll look into somewhere to stay
Soon enough. Ate quorn mince, then beer, bye bye
Worries and regrets, things are on their way
Momentum is building for my Fringe stay
This year cannot be wasted, here I stand
I know I can do it, and by and by
Time will tell, and I'll finally find my way
It's just a shame I'm alone in my plan
But that's life, that is its reality

4564 - Graduazione di Perla

Woke at 5, met P and V at Shudehill
In the darkness outside the bus station
Got on the Megabus down to Bristol
Got some sleep but not much. The day was fun
Once we got there for Pearl's graduation
The second time in Bristol's Wills Building
This time it was Masters, Education
She went on stage quite near the beginning
The scene was both moving and exciting
Tomorrow she flies to Milan, and will
Fulfil the goal she nurtured, her man gone
But keen to escape Britain, becoming
Hard to teach in, almost impossible
Good luck, Pearl, in your new start in Milan xx

4531 - Effing brilliant!

Yay, I've finished reading parlour games books
(The last one was a novel - that don't count!)
So I made notes about the games that look
The best ones for mine and Tom's show. We've found
A really good format that could astound
And delight, and it's so compatible
With my solo show too. I'll use our crowd
To publicise my solo show. Oh hell
This is looking so good, can't wait to tell
Tom my ideas, decide on our show, book
A venue, rehearse it out and about
In the run up to the Fringe. Effing hell
It's looking so good. This year really rocks!
Work, friends, hobbies (career?), all gaining ground!

4513 - Head in burrow

It's New Year's Day, the new calendar's torn
When I hung it last night while I was drunk
It's January, shows pictures of London
It's places to visit before you slump
To the floor, dead. Costa Rica's next month
That's s'posed to be a great place to head to
Got Morocco and Edinburgh stuck
With pins in my mental map of the new
Year's confirmed trips, but there might be more, too
Let's hope so. Though this year's only just born
I feel real momentum, I feel the funk
Things are coalescing, strands turn into
A united whole, garment to be worn
It's called happiness, purpose, fear has sunk

4502 - Mad Friday

Helen's off out to see 808 State
How cool is that, on Mad Friday? I'm in
Tonight, but had three nights out this week, ain't
Feeling bad. Had a few beers, uke session
Spoke to Louis, now I will start cookin'
It's all good, so good, I am so happy
I'm in control, my new workplace rockin'
This is better than it seemed it could be
A few months ago, it's how it should be
I'm free now to decide and to create
It's grown, it's a 12 year evolution
And the one constant is that I am me
If anyone doubts, I can outcompete
But I have fun and that is the main thing

4422 - It's off-fish-al!

I got my promotion, that's the main news
My last promotion was in '98
Twenty years I've waited, have felt the blues
Especially this last year or two. Can't wait
To crack on with this new job. Such a state
I downed a bottle of white wine and played
The uke, then fish, beans and salad I ate
Now I'm writing this feeling almost slayed
But it's good. The year that's ending in 8
Was quite bad at times, fate threw boots and shoes
But now there's good green food upon my plate
Berlin with Helen, promotion attained
Uke playing, Edinburgh, French chateaus
Tattoos, World Cup, lodgers two. Celebrate!

4419 - She's leaving home

A drink after work with Pearl. As usual
Her life's not smooth, Luca is not in touch
As often as she'd like, he doesn't call
She's moving to Italy, should be such
An exciting time, but she's forced to clutch
At straws of hope amongst trepidation
At his reticence. Time will tell how much
He cares and whether she is his woman
Finished yesterday's wine now, and I am
Frankly quite tired now, I'm ready to fall
Into bed, why stay up late? Things can catch
Up with you, rest and recuperation
Is what I need. Tomorrow might see Pearl
Again as I hang with Jo and have lunch

4384 - Amazing Journey

Life is an amazing journey, for sure
But only while we're alive does it count
So do what you can while you're on its shore
Because before long, the tide's sure to mount
And overcome you, and then you'll have drowned
It has no feelings, only you care, so
Focus only on your brief enjoyment
I've done that as much as I can, also
I've brought others in who might somehow grow
From my existence. But it don't matter
They must make their own way that they have found
Just like I did and still do, ride the flow
We shouldn't criticise the natural law
Be thankful for all of this sight and sound

4363 - Closer to the heart

Oh dear, oh dear, although I might be bad
Some others are worse, as time only shows
I'm gonna get on with my life, it's good
Don't want to be polluted by others
I hope they're happy, though I doubt they is
Not my problem, time's precious, make the most
Of it, concentrate, try to do my best
Focus on what I like, I never boast
Nothing to boast about, never can coast
The next year or two are mine, can't be bored
Or tied up or down, distracted. I've closed
My open heart, fate dictates, so I've lost
Again, that's fine, but still happy inside
I'll take the world on, no-one can oppose...

4358 - Several Nights In Paris

Sunday evening, bedtime. Sadly was too
Tired and uninspired like Stevie Winwood
To do any writing, or even do
Thinking about the Fringe, or what I could
Do Tuesday night at the King's Arms, Salford...
Maybe tomorrow... If I get 'nuff rest
I may resume exercises. I should
Be able to do some, and gently test
My arm strength. It's been nearly three months less
Than fit, injured by my road fall. Watched two
Films - 'Meaning Of Life', and one by Woody
Allen, 'Midnight In Paris', plus the first
Two of 'Who Is America' I viewed
On catch-up, and 'An Equal Music' read