4991 - Happy feet

Been clean today, and that's an achievement
Considering it's a sunny Saturday
Evening, but drank too much on Thursday. Felt
A bit rough Friday, drank wine but no way
Did I enjoy it. Decided I would stay
Home, not go out for more, and soup went down
Nicely before bed. Even so, today
Still felt rough early on, and a bit down
But soon cheered up. At lunchtime, headed down
Stairs to sit on the grass. Second day spent
Getting a tan. My feet look more healthy
They've gone from purest white to a light brown
At four, Vee's history quiz. I won. Second
Quiz I've won in less than even one day

4985 - Bedding in

Sunday, and almost a normal Sunday
Much like any other Sunday. Sunny
But quite chilly, not quite a lovely day
Wore my coat while queuing for Sainsbury
Got beer in, had a few, felt quite cheery
Didn't do all I should, but exercised
Press-ups, did 85, not quite 90
Did a song lyrics sketch, with a few likes
I hope folk found it funny, I surmised
They did. Tomorrow, it's a purple day
T-shirt and hair-wise, channelling Jimi
I feel weary now, bit de-energised
So bed here I come, I am on my way
Watched Snatched, Amy Schumer, minor hee hee

4977 - I know my John Bunyans

Much more relaxed, though still no time to waste
Wrote song lyrics for a musical sketch
It wasn't hot enough to have sunbathed
Fifth exercise session this week - I stretched
And pulled my muscles taut. Ate. Then I fetched
The next Bony Tony t-shirt - it's pink
I knew then the Punk Panther would well match
My pink shirt and hair, and it matched a punk
Version of the Pink Panther tune, I thunk…
But had less than an hour til the quiz. Haste
Was then required. Listened a few times, checked
The chords to play on the uke, a quick plink
Then launched into it, in the best of taste
Then won the lit quiz, as they all expect...

4915 - Rust sometimes sleeps

Storm Ciara battered us starting last night
At midday it was so dark, quite scary
Went for a walk when it then seemed more bright
Needed to go and find somewhere to be
Salford Quays is often the choice for me
Shops, the theatre, the Ship Canal, even
Studios of ITV and BBC
I bought a new duvet set, it's heaven
A rust colour, can't wait to lie within
And a new breadknife bought as the storm hit
The mall roof hard. The shops closed then, lucky
Me for not getting wet. Walked home again
Made my bed. The new colour's a delight!
Now, shall I write? Have I the energy?

4908 - Awkward instance

Exhausted but no sleep during the day
Went to bed late and no lie-in was had
Main thing I achieved was practice all day
A new song only written today - mad!
Performed it at Worst Night, went not too bad
But not as funny as I'd hoped, sadly
Must look at the video that Anna made
It's not long at least, it was under three
Minutes. Washed the yellow out my hair. We
Now prepare for a new work week, hey hey
After Friday's poor night out with the lads
And lasses was terminated by me
Early, what if anything will they say?
Here's hoping that it won't be too awkward

4855 - Off the boil

Less work done today, but lots of vital
Other stuff. Firstly, I emailed Helen
Arranged another meet just before Yule
That meant I knew better than before when
I should hire a car from Avis, Bolton
And it's Christmas Eve, though a working day
I'll collect it late morning, drive it home, then
Go to work. Not many in anyway
Jo will be pleased, she likes those drives away
Around Christmas. It's easier to see Pearl
And Louis too when I'm driving. I went
To the T-shirt shop, Oldham Street, to buy
More, same design, new colours. Boiler hell
It won't ignite, got plumber appointment

4796 - Autumn in my step

Not been out today though it was quite nice
Apart from to recycle the rubbish
A few beercans drank Thursday, Friday nights
Dissipated the inactivities
Into a twilight zone but not ghoulish
Just oblivion on my own, and strangely
I was recovering from my cold with this
Remedy of drink, fags and balcony
Soon out there as seasons change it'll be
Dark and cold once more, long gone the delights
Of long light nights, t-shirts, and smoke that wisps
Into a pale blue sky unendingly
A sad summer in some ways, but I'm wise
Compared to spring, feel almost devilish!

4777 - Doctor in the park

Been filming in the park with Barbie and
AJ, the rain just holding off enough
And not deluging us as it threatened
To allow us to do our comedy stuff
They were all my ideas, should raise a laugh
When I post them over the next few weeks
We went to Buile Hill Park, Salford, a tough
Area but some nice houses too. The leaks
From the clouds earlier made the grass wet, streaks
Of mud here and there, and I rolled around
In it in my white doctor's coat. I love
My new character, Dirty Doctor, seeks
Employment at your gig, he has laughs planned
Phone storage full now, got to take pix off

4771 - Where are the shows of yesteryear?

Red autumn sky, 7:30, almost
Dark now, but things are OK on the whole
Couldn't drop off last night, I turned and tossed
Quite tired then, but worked well to overhaul
Some work left too long, although quite simple
Fiddly boring shit, didn't understand
How to do it for months into my role
Can't put it off no more, or else smacked hand
Tomorrow there's a comedy night planned
Olaf Falafel, an Edinburgh ghost
Saw him there at the Pear Tree. Wonder will
He do new stuff or just a Fringe rewind?
Watching Corrie, first time in years, I'm lost -
Who are these strangers? Who are these people?

4760 - The old country

Visited Vee in Ancoats to give her
The scarf from Edinburgh that I had bought
(At her request!). There two and a half hours
And walked home. Not much more now to report
Ate a late tea, watched TV, and I caught
The latest boring non-Brexit news and
Now it's colour film from the war they fought
In the forties. The countryside looks grand
So much beauty lost, the trees and green ground
Makes me nostalgic for my childhood years
When we could always walk for such a short
Distance to find wild brambles and fields, hands
Picking berries for jam. Then the super-
markets were new and fewer on the street

4751 - How strange, the change

Last night I woke at God knows when, confused
As I didn't recognise my own flat
Still thought I was in Edinburgh. Amused
Now to think of the stupidity. That
Is funny. Didn't know this place here that
I've lived in for 13 years! That's what being
Away for a whole month can do. Just what
Does the clever brain need to be struggling
So strangely? Okay, I had had some drinks
Actually like my place. That makes me pleased
It feels very white and pristine, and not
As shadowy as where I've been staying
Met Jo today, first time since we cut loose
From Milan. Hard to believe. Fancy that!

4733 - Ed Fringe Day 10

Horrible morning deluge, just when we
(Me and AJ) started out flyering
My ew expensive umbrella totally
Destroyed by gusts of wind as we're walking
Up towards Edinburgh centre, trying
To protect my red sprayed hair from the rain
4 people attended, plus AJ.Things
Went well, missed out the swimming bit, but gained
On the recorded laughs and the chicken
Impressions. Charlotte, just 4, was a wee
Star! C Venues emailed me following
A dropout, did 40 minutes for them
Still got a slot this Sunday, too, at C
More flyering, and 2 shows seen. Spiffing!!

Fri 9 Aug

4730 - Ed Fringe Day 7

Almost a week into the Fringe now. It's
Going so quickly, every moment's filled
Today was my Green Day (hair, t-shirt, glitz)
Took umbrella so green hair chalknot swilled
Away by the showers. About 10, willed
Myself to patrol the Royal Mile. I
Was targeting the kids and families still
But my prices are for them all, too high
And my humour too sharp. I'd say now, my
Audience is more teens and older - yes, kids
But, kids AT HEART, with adult brains. I killed
Them so far, those that came. Was emailed by
The C venues, got a good spot. It's this
Sunday - perfect chance to plug my show. Brill!!

Tue 6 Aug

4724 - Ed Fringe Day 1

Not much sleep on the midnight bus up here
Which stopped at Leeds for two hours in the night
Woke up to see we were in Edinburgh
Pleased to say this time I felt great delight
Walked with red suitcase and blue bag to wait
Outside 88 McDonald Road for
Nick the Landlord, who came promptly. With great
Speed I settled in, searched for the Lidl store
Got food, etc. Practised songs after
Coffee and porridge. Two lads then appeared
- Jimmy and Lewis - said hello, then flight
To town, Fringe Central, firststop, then to Sur-
geons Hall, met Aussie crew, mutual helpers
I'll do the lights for their shows - yes, the lights!!

Wed 31 July

4723 - Here I go, here I go, here I go!

I didn't find a way to safely dye
My teeth for Edinburgh - just as well,
Maybe! It would have washed off, gone down my
Throat, or, if food dye, proved impossible
To make it stain my teeth, and would have swilled
Straight off at the first drink or snack I ate!
Today ticked off important things - I'm thrilled
That I'm collecting the keys to the flat
Soon as I arrive, unpack, sort my shit
Then I'll be meeting A and K just by
Surgeons Hall, our venue, café table
To discuss respective plans and shows. It
Is now really taking shape! Will time fly
Or drag? Either way, it may prove crucial!

4722 - Tell the tooth

I did my back in yesterday, bending
Down to the floor, writing notes on paper
And twisting - that's the worst thing for straining
The spine and its muscles. They need repair
But no time to slow down, or else the fear
Will infiltrate deeper inside my mind
Next thing to do is tooth dyeing. I hear
It's best to always tell the tooth. I'll find
More to do after that. I have declined
To maintain my website - maybe trying
To post stuff on there is the best idea
While I've got my laptop with me. I've dined
Now to crack on, my time is shortening
Maybe I'll be brave, or just shave my hair...

4694 - Milan Day 5

Destination Bergamo, so Metro
M5 (purple line) to Garibaldi
Changed to M2 (green line), two stops to go
And we're at Centrale. Platform 10's the
Only platform to go, so you can be
In Betgamo in fifty minutes. Caught
The 1A bus to Citta Alta. We
Couldn't have walked to the High Town. We ate
A great pasta meal in the old square. Fate
Drew me a little further. Tesoro
Was a fantastic sight for phone to see
I videoed and photo'd at some rate
Also, the Duomo. Back to Milan, throw
Last nice food down our throats, P, J and me

Mon 1 July

4682 - Yellow fellow

Curtailed last night's fun, shared a taxi, had
To go to bed before it got too late
 And I knew a busy day lay ahead
Woke up early, and before long I made
The office, and not only that, I stayed
Later than I intended, one-to one
Lasted two hours, so appointment delayed
For tonight's videoing, changed to 7
From 6. Walked home and became yellow man
Or yellow Bony Tony, yellow head
And yellow shirt to match. My tired state
Meant I didn't come up with much great fun
But any pictures that look slightly good
I'm grateful for and will appreciate

4666 - Tramendous

A quiet day at work, but I got things done
Even dropped off clothes at the dry cleaning
Having clean clothes on will be kinda fun
It's good to limit unpleasant stinking!
I included the jacket I was lying
On the pavement in, London, Friday night
After work, rushed home for some quick eating
Before going out filming in my white
Bony Tony t-shirt. Blessed with sunlight
I filmed a funny scene that saw me run
Slowly up the ramp desperately trying
To catch a tram. It's time lapse, should be quite
Funny when sped up. Castlefield Bowl, some
Chariots of Fire running, and geese walking

4665 - Match of yesterday

Yesterday evening all that I could do
Was listen to the big match on radio
While half-asleep on the sofa, trying to
Recover from Friday's misbehaviour
Pleased Liverpool beat Spurs because they are
The better team and almost won the League
Losing to City by one point - unfair
For them to finish with naught. Now, a big
Trophy is theirs once more. Nine this morning
Soon after I'd got up, Chan walked in through
The door, now she's resting. Planned to video
In a big coloured tent thing that was rigged
Up at Salford Media City, but too
Late, chance gone. But I'm filming tomorrow...