4870 - Crowd saucing

Boxing Day, slept over on blow-up bed
Slept okay considering, saw the dark sky
Turn morning grey and overcast like lead
Waited for all to stir. They discussed my
Edinburgh experience and wondered why
I'd do it again, but it's hard to let
It go after that effort, have to try
At least apply, and if I could just get
A suitable venue, I won't regret
It, and not end up so disappointed
At crowd size, the main issue, passers-by
Assaulted by waves of flyerers forget
Your show in seconds. We all were well fed
At Piccolino's in West Didsbury

Thur 26 Dec

4869 - Wrap it up and start again

Took ages to wrap presents, then I rang
At almost twelve mid-day, to check they were
Expecting me at all, I'd heard nothing
From them so far, but they said come over
So I drove the hired Merc through Manchester
And parked in space 34 as was told
Bag of presents in the elevator
And got given mine in the family fold
Pearl cooked the meal, so tasty, all were filled
But not too much, then film quiz competing
I came second, not bad, beating Vera
But losing to Pearl, but I was more skilled
At Trivial Pursuit. They went off sleeping
I listened to podcasts for two hours

Wed 25 Dec

4868 - Eve of dissipation

Christmas Eve, was supposed to work at home
But also had to collect a hired car
A Mercedes, no less, quite a big one
Train to Bolton, drove home, then bought cheap beer
From Sainsbury's, and drank and watched five hours
Of my Chernobyl DVD. Dozed off
In episode three, replayed it, then four
And five on disc two, by then I felt rough
And went to bed soon after, disposed of
Christmas Eve satisfactorily on my own
Not a great fan of this time of the year
Mainly it's the darkness I find quite tough
That's why we have the lights, music and some
Big eating and drinking to revive cheer

Tue 24 Dec

4865 - Christmas fever

Met Josephine for a walk around town
She was quite late arriving - after two
In the rapidly darkening afternoon
Left Piccadilly Station, headed to
Las Iguanas, a favourite when we do
Lunch in Manchester. Pleased that they have changed
Their chilli con carne recipe. Few
Times I've had it, and it was rearranged
Somewhat, and it was enjoyably strange
Jo was cold, somewhat feverish. Walked round
The Arndale Centre to stay warm, and cue
Christmas shopping, amongst the mass deranged
Festive frenzy, all subordinate clowns
To big commerce all of us must be true

Sat 21 Dec

4860 - Nothing stirred, except a mouse

Day off, new boiler installed, main event
What a relief after a week, freezing
No more, whacked it on when convenient
And did my laundry washing, floor cleaning
My exercises and my recycling
Popped to the shop, then haircut, shave, shower
Then enjoyed myself ukulele-ing
As my clothes dried on the radiator
Popped out for Secret Santa stuff later
Harry came home, stays hidden and silent
If he don't want to know, no explaining
From me how it works, bored now with his mere
Mouse-like hiding, it's a disappointment
Fine mate, I'll forget you're there, do my thing

4857 - Do do ron ron

Friday, a manic morning prior to
Going to the Wellington for our do
It was the first Christmas do in my new
Job that I properly took part in. We two,
Helen and I, last year, followed my crew
But mainly stuck together, chats were few
With my new colleagues. This year, I did do
The do fully, Helen out with hers too
In Castlefield. Nice meal, then drink flowed through
And enjoyed the evening, it almost flew
Left around ten, maybe, dunno, do you?
And on the way home, bought more beery brew
But could only manage one more can. Too
Much and I'd be ill, so bedtime was due!

Fri 13 Dec

4855 - Off the boil

Less work done today, but lots of vital
Other stuff. Firstly, I emailed Helen
Arranged another meet just before Yule
That meant I knew better than before when
I should hire a car from Avis, Bolton
And it's Christmas Eve, though a working day
I'll collect it late morning, drive it home, then
Go to work. Not many in anyway
Jo will be pleased, she likes those drives away
Around Christmas. It's easier to see Pearl
And Louis too when I'm driving. I went
To the T-shirt shop, Oldham Street, to buy
More, same design, new colours. Boiler hell
It won't ignite, got plumber appointment

4852 - A day not at the races

I need to get my decorations out
It's the twelfth of December already
I also need a shave, of that, no doubt
Big week to come, I mustn't look scruffy
So time to find the silver Christmas tree
I bought three years ago, Krakow market
A few bits of tinsel, minimally
Acknowledge it rather than deny it
This has been almost the lost weekend, not
Quite at the races, spinning roundabout
Feeling at times, eyes shut, turn nauseously
As you deny the turning and get hot
And bothered, can't control within, without
As the whole world spins nauseatingly

4851 - Lasagne man, yeah

I rose at twelve, I did, how about that?
Return to the teen lifestyle, you could say!
Except I drank a bottle of Buckfast
At Barbie's house last night, plus shots and way
Weird syrupy stuff. He'd bought loads that day
Turned out to be a head changer, that did
Today Jo called, already on her way
I met her in town. It was quite crowded
Being Saturday near Christmas, but we had
A meal at Bella Italia, Deansgate
One of my favourites, good again today
Discussed politics, then they delivered
Lasagne for me, heaven on a plate
Now listening to boxing. It's Joshua, A

4844 - Christmas - what a turkey!

Have yourself a shitty little Christmas
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
Transplant after I died, my best wishes
For your survival. These tunes always start
In October. Yule Will Tear Us Apart!
All I want for Christmas is a big poo
On Boxing Day, after turkey and sprout
So here it is, Merry Christmas to you
From October onwards. Spend your cash through
Those three months, long before the 'here it is'
Walk through a winter wonderland, and fart
In a reindeer's face til Rudolph says 'Eeuuuw!'
Light the log fire, burn Santa alive as
He climbs down and gets stuck cos he's so fat!

4814 - Flat out and in

I woke earlier than normal, having had
A good night's sleep - it's great when that happens
And as a result, my work wasn't bad
At all today! Reorganised my plans
For my projects, and now they make more sense
And are up-to-date. That's reassuring
And so now I have much more confidence
That all I have on hand is in hand. Bring
It on! Also looked at my complex Gambling
Duty issues (not my gambling!) I'm paid
Tonight, but this month I'll have fewer funds
Because my lodger, Chan, will be leaving
In November. Must quickly place an ad
For a new lodger before Christmas comes!

4813 - They wanna be elected

So!!! There'll be a general election soon
On December the 12th, to be precise
Just as Christmas approaches and the tune
May change from the usual jangly ditties
To more serious ones, but that's no pity
Felt more energised today, and I got
Things done, though not all that's in my in tray!
Need to put in long days and be a swot
Got home, did exercises on the mat
While watching news updates, keeping in tune
With developments. Uke-wise, found some nice
Acoustic stuff to play, and I was not
Bad, if I say so myself! Could I croon
Along to it yet? That remains the prize!

4507 - This Christmas, I gave you my cheese

It's Boxing Day, slept on inflatable
Bed which was weird but OK, have to say
If you near the edge it gets unstable
But slept quite well, and soon was on my way
Home by car to change and collect Jo. Hey
She was wearing my presents, jacket and
Pants, they looked good, Clash t-shirt, black shoes, they
Gotta admire the dudess. Had a grand
Snack of bread, lightly toasted, the top spanned
By my cheese selection, and Jo dabbled
In it too, and a grilled aubergine they
Made for her which she liked. New board game planned -
Articulate - but way more suitable
Would be Argument... but ended OK!!

4506 - When a child eats quorn

Good night's sleep meant that Christmas Day was fun
Bummed around at home, then drove to Vee's flat
Got the route right for a change, few cars on
The Christmas road blocking my way, so that
Was nice. Pearl in a purple dress, and heat
Was nice, me in my new red pumps looked good
A few drinks, then Pearl began cooking at
The kitchen counter. Previous years she would
Get stressed but mainly it went well. I had
Quorn mince and herbs I brought, but also some
Cheesy grilled aubergine dish and veg - great!
The odd drink more, Vee slept while we two played
Monopoly, my luck was dumber, dumb
But laughed, then watched a film with Cary Grant

Tue 25 December

4505 - Twas the night before Christmas (part 55)

Twas the night before Christmas. I had been
In the office that day, Tanya, Lisa
The only other colleagues that were in
We had a laugh and chat while we were there
All left early, I knew for me to fare
OK in the Christmas film quiz, needed
To watch films pronto at home. On sofa
With meal on lap, first film, Superfly, did
Struggle to stay awake as it ended
But Meaning Of Life was entertaining
And Midnight In Paris likewise. Some fear
The neighbours would party late, but quieted
Down nicely, they went out and no return
Peaceful night, ready for get-together...!

4500 - Four green and brown bottles

Another boozy night last night listening
To reggae and The Smiths when I got home
From seeing Pearl for a chat and a drink
Felt happy today in work but felt some-
what sluggish, workwise, but we all had fun
Secret Santa, a quiz and a buffet
Had lots of laughs, told jokes, comedian
Status suddenly rumbled by Jacqui
Steve my manager gave out beer, away
Home with four bottles in my bag clinking
I need a break from drink tonight and some
Unbroken sleep, refresh my battery
Tomorrow got to go to depot, bring
Jo's parcel home, then hopefully meet Tom

4497 - Cough cough

A cold day, not as cold as yesterday
Feel a bit better, but disturbed sleep since
The neighbours rocked their bed 'gainst wall at 3
I kept coughing, I hope they heard, and think
Hey, we can hear him, can he hear us? Wink
Wink, yes I can, fools, is that a surprise?
Just move the bed, move rooms, do anything
To be less disturbing to your neighbours
Despite my poor sleep, I've advanced my cause
Today, sharing a room with Tom when we
Both do next summer's Edinburgh Fringe
Five hundred for the full run, and Tom's car's
There should I need it. Had a good uke play
Posted Christmas cards. Next - Boots app, pic prints...

4495 - It's perky without turkey

I felt pretty bad yesterday, a cold
And sore throat made me feel weak and chilly
But despite this I was looking forward
To my old team's Christmas meal. Not turkey
But Thai. The venue, Thaikun. One curry
Would have been enough yesterday the way
I felt. Two courses was too much for me
So I left half my curry, was away
Outside with Helen, it got took away
Without me having to feel, well, awkward!
Drinks, we tried Albert's Schloss, but too busy
Then Peaky Blinders, then the Nag's Head. Hey -
It's the new must-go-to place for a good
Old sing-song with raucous karaoke!

4488 - Wigan work it out

It was the office Christmas do although
I didn't really take part at all, but
I had a lovely time with Helen, so
I ain't complaining. We spent all eve out
I was well pissed by the end. Hope she got
Home OK, she got on the V2 bus
Sounds like some World War Two flying rocket
It was great to hang out and feel so close
Let's hope there's more soon. I've had a nice doze
And now I must finish this and then go
And meet Josie and have a walk about
In town, then on the train to Wigan - there's
A match between Wigan and Derby, so
I've persuaded her to go - might be shit!

4486 - Rainy day shoppin'

A long hard day at work but mainly fun
Getting to grips with a new soft drinks tax
And also with my management role in
The first month of the job. Now to relax
Having gone in the rain to the markets
To choose presents for Mum and Robin which
I'll give to Mum tomorrow. The visit's
The last time I'll see her before that kitsch-
Fest known as Christmas. It can be a bitch
Though usually it's OK. Really, the down
Sides are the weather, darkness, and life shuts
Down, like we're hibernating in some ditch
On the train to Mum, rested, I will pen
Next year's Fringe show broad concept's final parts