4983 - Quiz Night

Busy day at work, at home, Friday does
Often to seem to work out that way. Sunny
But a chilly wind as I joined the queues
Outside Sainsbury's at lunchtime with the
Intention of buying beer and stuff. Then re-
sumed work, coronavirus related
Emergency measures, but at four, we
That is, me and Helen, began our chat
With a quiz at seven in which I did
Okay but didn't win the blasted quiz
But last week I won one, my family
Quiz, on literature. I've now completed
Tomorrow's music quiz. Resumed the buzz
Of video chat with Helen, then sleepy....

Fri 17 April

4976 - Unstable table

On a whim this morning I cleaned the floor
But knocked over and broke my round table
What a shame, and how do I get one more
When everything's closed? I am unable
But when the charity shop opens, well
It's just over the road, has furniture
So fingers crossed I'll a suitable
Replacement when I finally look in there
Recorded a fun sketch involving the
Queen singing and tap dancing - more and more
Weird get my ideas, but not unstable
In fact I'm enjoying lockdown. I'm here
In my flat, and time saved makes it easier
To film sketches to entertain people

Fri 10 April

4974 - Howay the sads

I had a good day at the office - no!
How can that be, when we're all working at
Home? And the sun shone. Decided to go
Join the Sainsbury's queue for food and that
Keep two meters away, you bloody prat!
Afterwards, exercised, third time this week
Did 90 press-ups today on the mat
One prick does handstands outside - what a geek
All on his own, showing off, takes a peek
To see if anyone's looking, ho ho
Only to laugh, mate. Hope you fall down flat!
Recorded a vid, then got out my uke
Pleased with today's comedy film. I know
I'm good at ad lobbing. Think I nailed it!

4949 - Should've been Prague Day 3

Woke after a good night in the Ibis
Budget Hotel, Luton Airport. Breakfast
Then taxi, then fast train to St Pancras
On to Euston, I read while Helen crashed
Out for a nap. Did not quite have the blast
We envisaged. Free bus to her bus stop
Then struggled home with heavy bag, then fast
As I could to buy essentials in shops
Then Harry said, in absinthe I should drop
Some burned sugar cube powder, and then this
Turned into a mad hunt and a hard task
No stores had sugar cubes, I shopped and shopped
Until Marks and Sparks food hall did the biz
And I drank four shots while I movie-watched

Sat 14 March

4945 - Hair today

Another long day at work but was good
I'm back on track with Soft Drinks just before
I go on holiday. One more day's head
Down, then a few days of fun in Prague for
A chance to let my hair down, not a bore
Coronavirus hysteria won't stop
Bog roll was scarce in Sainsbury's, one more
Small pack obtained, enough to prevent slop
And nothing to wipe it with when it drops
This trip's just in time. One month more, it could
Have been impossible to go on tour
Abroad and go out at night, what a flop
A few drinks tonight, but not quite a flood
Now bedtime's here, I hope that I don't snore...

4944 - Soft thinks industry

Predictably busy with the Soft Drinks
Industry Levy, no preparation
Done for the Prague trip. I needed to fix
Currency and travel insurance. When
Tomorrow's call is over, I'll be gone
Out to the shops to sort it out, come what
May, and I'm getting excited again
This time it should be good, or my name's not
Bony Tony. This Prague trip should be hot
And I don't mean the weather. There'll be kicks
Aplenty, if I realise plans for fun
Another horror film, Rupture. Not shit
I hope, like last night's late film. Films showing
What mad fantasies are thought up by some!

4936 - Phone moan

Today's mainly gone well, bought a new phone
In town, and new health foods of various kinds
However, disappointed once back home
I can't turn the phone on, though I keep trying
I'll ask Vee. Watching A Beautiful Mind
And typing this. Did my exercises
In an ad break. Just now I'm determined
To keep healthy. Superfoods advice is
Eat watercress, I bought some. Surprise is
I'd forgotten matcha tea, used to own
Pots of it from Chinatown. You can find
It in Sainsbury's now. A strainer sizes
The powder into smallness. I bought one
Now I'm gonna brew some properly, first time!

4935 - This is the new sheet

Where's Storm Jorge? I thought it would pour down
I think it did last night, but today it's
Been cold and sunny, suitable for goin'
Out for a walk, no rain, not even spits
Popped to the shops, got new holiday bits
And bobs as Prague draws near, some underwear
I needed that - and some good new t-shirts
Also new bedsheets, though those are for here!
Might throw the old one out, the wear and tear
Has made it feel bobbly, can't move around
My feet and legs without slight discomforts
It needs to be super-smooth lying there
Rolling around, enough to bring on spurts
Here come the clouds, darkness sudden, profound

4928 - The music of the beers

Didn't go out except to Sainsbury's
(Twice), but the main thing I did this evening
Listened to my People playlist, with booze
Then in the early hours I kept adding
More songs as I kept thinking and thinking
Of good songs to add, bed at 3:30
AM, the booze all gone, rehydrating
Adding tunes manically, obsessively
Watched The Man in the Iron Mask, lucky
To catch that by chance on TV, and use
It to learn the story of swashbuckling
In the era of the fourteenth Louis
This weekend I've done just as I was pleased
No pressure, just pleasure, a great feeling

Sat 22 February

4915 - Rust sometimes sleeps

Storm Ciara battered us starting last night
At midday it was so dark, quite scary
Went for a walk when it then seemed more bright
Needed to go and find somewhere to be
Salford Quays is often the choice for me
Shops, the theatre, the Ship Canal, even
Studios of ITV and BBC
I bought a new duvet set, it's heaven
A rust colour, can't wait to lie within
And a new breadknife bought as the storm hit
The mall roof hard. The shops closed then, lucky
Me for not getting wet. Walked home again
Made my bed. The new colour's a delight!
Now, shall I write? Have I the energy?

4887 - It'll be all right on the Sprite

Still recovering from yesterday in more
Ways than one, but although I'm physically
And mentally drunk, I did recover
And went on to do quite a lot, really
Wrote a new Sprite sketch which is quite funny
Looked at Prague flights, went shopping, searched for nights
Out, planned the next few nights, so much to see
Comedy, films, and all stuff that excites
Think I'll go to the Frog and Bucket, might
See some acts I know from Worst Night take the floor
Will they survive, or raised cards will they see?
Was tired, but took a new song to Worst Night
Good response to Walking In Austria
A new video for YouTube, hopefully!

4883 - Evening of light and dark

A hard day at work, but enjoyable
Then went to see the film, Jojo Rabbit
It was well-attended, incredible
For a Wednesday tea-time January night
Heart-warming, sad and funny, and I cried
The mark of a good film, it cuts quite deep
But in a way that mainly kept it light
To pass an hour after work, took a trip
To the Arndale food market, fed my lips
With chicken biryani and bottle
Of lemon-flavoured water, both a neat
Way to hydrate, and from Aldi, a snip
At 72p. I'm comfortable
In my warm flat. I'll read, and then that's it

4879 - Saturday Sprite Fever

So - must begin with so - what did I do
At home on Saturday. I exercised
(Fourth time this week), sat down and wrote some new
Comedy, more burping from drinking Sprites
Went to Sainsburys to buy some more, surprised
A big bottle costs the same as a small
Hopefully Sunday I'll record a nice
Little video, but if not, I've got all
Next week. I think it'd look best filmed well
After dark, since the sketch is set when you
Are out late in some bar with lonely eyes
Despite years passing, still missing your girl
Watched Atomic Blonde, Berlin cold war view
Any chance to see its familiar sights!

Saturday 4 January

4874 - No alarms

Went to work, did some things but I struggled
To concentrate. It was fairly useful
As a memory jogger, attempt to meld
Together my broken brain after full
Days and evenings of drinking and slow fall
Into stupor. I got some momentum
But left early, walking to the Arndale
Managed to get a refund for that bum
Bedside alarm clock. Argos will have one
That's better, I'm sure. My new boots niggled
And I'll get blisters soon, so I've now pulled
Out some plasters from the kitchen. Good strum
On the uke, exercised, forgot it'll
Be a party at Tom's tomorrow. Cool.

4873 - Ashton fashions

Got up slightly drunk after last night's binge
Of almost ten Guinnesses while I soaked
Up the Disgraceland stories, hearing strange
Tales of excess and death from rock stars coked
Up and more, doing stuff as careers choked
Like Brian Jones in his pool, stoned and drowned
Rock or soul stars, shot, who could not be woke
Most bought their drugs with dollar, some with pound
But today, took a break from Disgraceland
And had a day out in the car which ranged
From Uppermill to Ashton as we Merc'd
Along. I bought new boots, waiting around
For Pearl and Jo finally to re-emerge
From Ashton's arcade, we talked, laughed and joked

4865 - Christmas fever

Met Josephine for a walk around town
She was quite late arriving - after two
In the rapidly darkening afternoon
Left Piccadilly Station, headed to
Las Iguanas, a favourite when we do
Lunch in Manchester. Pleased that they have changed
Their chilli con carne recipe. Few
Times I've had it, and it was rearranged
Somewhat, and it was enjoyably strange
Jo was cold, somewhat feverish. Walked round
The Arndale Centre to stay warm, and cue
Christmas shopping, amongst the mass deranged
Festive frenzy, all subordinate clowns
To big commerce all of us must be true

Sat 21 Dec

4860 - Nothing stirred, except a mouse

Day off, new boiler installed, main event
What a relief after a week, freezing
No more, whacked it on when convenient
And did my laundry washing, floor cleaning
My exercises and my recycling
Popped to the shop, then haircut, shave, shower
Then enjoyed myself ukulele-ing
As my clothes dried on the radiator
Popped out for Secret Santa stuff later
Harry came home, stays hidden and silent
If he don't want to know, no explaining
From me how it works, bored now with his mere
Mouse-like hiding, it's a disappointment
Fine mate, I'll forget you're there, do my thing

4855 - Off the boil

Less work done today, but lots of vital
Other stuff. Firstly, I emailed Helen
Arranged another meet just before Yule
That meant I knew better than before when
I should hire a car from Avis, Bolton
And it's Christmas Eve, though a working day
I'll collect it late morning, drive it home, then
Go to work. Not many in anyway
Jo will be pleased, she likes those drives away
Around Christmas. It's easier to see Pearl
And Louis too when I'm driving. I went
To the T-shirt shop, Oldham Street, to buy
More, same design, new colours. Boiler hell
It won't ignite, got plumber appointment

4852 - A day not at the races

I need to get my decorations out
It's the twelfth of December already
I also need a shave, of that, no doubt
Big week to come, I mustn't look scruffy
So time to find the silver Christmas tree
I bought three years ago, Krakow market
A few bits of tinsel, minimally
Acknowledge it rather than deny it
This has been almost the lost weekend, not
Quite at the races, spinning roundabout
Feeling at times, eyes shut, turn nauseously
As you deny the turning and get hot
And bothered, can't control within, without
As the whole world spins nauseatingly

4776 - Resident boll weevil

Good day, bought stuff for tomorrow's filming
The ideas were penned last weekend, now bought
The props, which include lots of food and drink
If we film it, there'll be laughter and snorts
Now I've Facebook comedy friends who ought
To know what's good I met in Edinburgh
Listening to The Residents, earphones caught
Fire, frequent aural madness in my ear
'Meet The Residents' is now loud and clear
Class avant garde comedy music swing
From the 70s, then I never sought
Their vinyl output. It was hard to hear
Their stuff on the radio, stores weren't selling
Them then, but now their Floydish stuff sounds great