4843 - The gates of hell

Today, I had a mad day, highs and lows
But it's ended. miraculously well
Problems at work, problems with videos
Problems with people who won't want to tell
The truth, how do you combat this? You sell
Your soul because you want something so bad
And people see that you are credible
Take the lead, fight for your vision, they've had
To recognise it's your thing, in your head
They'll never know how you think, and the blows
You deflect, you must be strong, mustn't fall
Believe in yourself and it's not so bad
And five things have resolved today, it shows
That faith will get you through the gates of hell

4842 - Boring bastards

And so we come to yesterday, no drink
Lots of fags on the balcony instead
Never as good as that great combining
Of booze and fags which can't be defeated
If some false friends decide they've retreated
That's their loss, we both know that it was good
I get bored quickly, and if they're not stead-
fast in aiming at fun, they're Christmas pud
They're yesterday's news, they're just wasted blood
Going nowhere, no victims they're helping
They're just causes of boredom in my head
They are merely human samples of mud
Why care about them, why be worrying?
I'd rather enjoy life as should be led

Thur 28 Nov

4841 - Whatever happened?

Things have got crazy, so busy all day
I don't really know what I did, as the
Time has flown by, three days have had their say
And it's three days ago, so I'm not sure
What happened today, but I remember
I had a few beers, thinking I'd earned it
And I was so keen on that, that I erred
And didn't do my diary, wasn't fit
So I'm doing it now, three whole days late
I'm worried that there's repeated delay
In videoing, just as it's out there
And a few fans have emerged. I must hit
The iron while it's hot, or things will play
Out and degrade. Need reliable helpers...

Wed 27 Nov

4840 - Sorry does seem to be the hardest word

Andrew Neil is on TV, questioning
The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn
And first off, Corbyn's answering
Widespread allegations flooding in
Of institutional anti-Semitism
Corbyn's long campaigned against racism
Yet the media keeps aiming that at him
Under Andrew's forensic searchlighting
I have to say that Corbyn is struggling
He doesn't seem too keen on arguing
This point, and in fact seems to be squirming
Unable to apologise to them
The frightened Jews, apart from those planning
To vote Labour anyway. Worrying...

4839 - A fishy tale

Quite tired at work, less sleep than usual
Quite quiet at work, and got quite a lot done
Came home and had fish for tea, tasted well
Then Harry appeared, a wag of the chin
And that 's taken up all of this evening
But it's been funny, and quite productive
Although it's not so helping my thinking
And my brain's feeling so radioactive
It's malfunctioning like you won't believe
The thoughts take long to get from cell to cell
It takes so long reaching destination
That it's not worth it, to your huge relief
Even the ads seem funny, all, yes. all
The drama of it all thrills everyone

4838 - Far from the Worst Comedy Night

A good day, did exercises and lots
Of other chores, knowing Harry would be
Moving in before long, and I had chats
With Helen, about the gig, Saturday
Best of all, went through all my songs to play
On video next weekend, so I could send
Some clips to the Fringe or maybe display
On YouTube, show my fans by next weekend
Who don't know, I'm a comedy song fiend
Wrote new ones too. Harry moved in, and its
All sorted relatively quickly
Including his quick payment of the rent
And best of all I went out to The Worst
Comedy Night in its new home. Happy!

4837 - Wolf snack

A fun afternoon at Café Lupo
With Carla and Justyna. Carla was
Ill and nearly cancelled and didn't go
And Justyna, she went to the wrong place
Its old Chapel Street site, because of mis-
Information on the map, on Facebook
Anyhow, they were both there. Carla is
In a dilemma, happy with her bloke
But their house is in Huddersfield. She's stuck
There and would rather be here, and also
Seems to have stopped her comedy - that is
A shame - and in a low-paid job. She'd look
At a PhD course, but they are so
Costly here, less so in Sweden! Poor Miss!

4836 - To Lib and let die

Watched a great series of interviews on
The telly tonight, and my favourite was
Seeing the dismantling of Jo Swinson
She thinks she might be PM, why, because
She's a woman, never mind the Thatchers
And Mays, it's not a new thing anymore
And isn't always better. Also she's
Making the party name a misnomer
The Liberal Democrats, but would ignore
The Brexit result of 2016
And revoke Article 50. And worse -
Her defence was she had wanted, before,
A 'People's Vote' but now says there'll be none!
No-one convinced, no-one giving applause

Fri 22 Nov

4835 - In a rush

Rushed home because two guys wanted to view
The room in my flat which is up for rent
The first was Mike from Wales, he'd agreed to
Be there at 5, but no sign, so I sent
A message to him wondering where he'd went
He replied, is 7pm OK?
I was gobsmacked but I had to relent
As the room had not yet been taken. Hey -
Not too serious a scene, because Harry
Viewed the room on time, and he was keen, too
And a nice guy, I felt, potential friend
So we agreed he'd have it from Sunday
After that excitement I had a brew
And listened to some tunes. What excitement!

Thur 21 Nov

4834 - My Tube

Responses to my great YouTube channel
Have been received from strangers who love it
They called me 'God' - it fits me very well
Not because I'm even close to perfect
But because they liked my humour, that's what
Matters, and that the videos are being seen
By people out there who I've never met
I'm taking advantage of the machine
That is the internet, irony being
That I'm the least technical guy of all
And hate networking, messaging and shit
I was so happy, had to drink, but seemed
Still able to compose a song, oh well
It's all so easy now as I create

4833 - Let the right one in

Just watched the Johnson-Corbyn live debate
It was a draw, I'd say. may not affect
Anyone's votes, not yet at any rate
Maybe if gaffes happen later, they'll wreck
Their chances, but if they keep tongues in check
Avoid offence, and stick to policies
They stand a chance of having their box ticked
Now I'm watching jungle celebrities
But not closely, for those creepy crawlies
Are off-putting, of that there's NO debate
And not only them, also the insects!
Got responses this evening for flat. Please
Let me get someone in, it's getting late
I need cash in the pocket of my kecks!

4832 - Wading through treacle time

I feel, like this time last year, I'm behind
With Edinburgh prep, though it's true I did
Some thinking early September around
What my second year's show could be - a good
Start, based on Amanda's advice, then, hard
Though it was, went back on Facebook, putting
My videos on there for all to see, weird
New ones shot, with friends' help, them appearing
With me in them. But still I'm not doing
Enough. Soon the guilt will spur me to find
The way to get a move on like it did
Last year. It's so tough just motivating
Myself. I don't have the drive. But if kind
People help like last year, then try I should

4831 - Pasta master

It's getting late, and I must say I've not
Done much artistically as I hoped to
But otherwise it's been good. Showed the flat
To Ryan, who was interested but who
Later lamented in a message, blue
That he was unable to move in, so
The room's still free. Robin called, and who knew?
He was in Salford, with Liz, could I go
And meet them? Well, yes, I did, the talk flowed
And there's talk of a do next summer at
Their house in Lichfield for the family crew
Some of them will be shocked, put on a show
To astound them, I'm sure they will be rocked
Then watched England easily beat Kosovo!

4830 - Gnashing and smashing

(So) today I felt good and things went well
Slept well, shaved, showered, washed and dried clothes, then did
Exercises (three times this week). The bell
(Or buzzer) went soon after, as I read
Charlie Brooker, and I was excited
I jumped up, knowing my megaphone was
Here right on time, leaving me free to head
Out to meet Josephine. We got some nosh
At Dom's, my lasagne was fun to gnash
But after a couple of hours my girl
Felt she should head home, otherwise she would
Have to walk home alone. Played uke and smashed
It (in a good way), Tomorrow, at twelve
A guy called Ryan's looking at my pad

4829 - What I can remember of last night

Last night I drank wine, and once again I
Struggled to finish it - that's not so bad
I'm off it tonight, I don't want to try
Boozing again just yet. Last night I had
A fairly good time, saw the live England
Seven nil win against Montenegro
But it was cold when sitting outside and
Inside with the door open. OK Go
Were on my headphones - I like them. Also
The Psychedelic Porn Crumpets rocked my
World - what good albums! Haven't filled my pad
Yet, so messaged Ryan, although it's two
Days since he emailed me to notify
His interest in the room. At least I've tried

4828 - Delivery at slow pace

What a pain I endured on the way home
I walked miles to the post office depot
On a cold dark evening, my megaphone
The object, but a collection point no show
The gates were locked, though there was lighting glow
From the inside. On Wednesdays it should be
Open until 8, but tonight, well, no
Sign of life. I've arranged delivery
On Saturday morning. Watched England v
Montenegro, seven nil the score - boom!
Kane got a hat trick, a young team you know
Is always gonna do better, cos we
Are hot on speed and directness when goin'
For goal, it scares them, it's the way to go

4827 - So, etc

So (begin with 'so' - it's the new thing) what
Happened today? Well, it was less hectic
Than yesterday. Slightly tired, so no mat
On floor, no exercise, when I got back
At teatime. Phoned Jo though. She said the lack
Of contact at the weekend was my choice
And she was right - I'd hoped to film in Black-
pool, but that fell through, midweek. So I suppose
That was my fault then, not, as I'd thought, hers!
Also contacted Helen - probably not
Out with her Friday, since she has been sick
Since last weekend's birthday bash, so she prefers
Peace and quiet - unless she changes that thought
Met Giannina - she's a Peruvian chick!!

4826 - Good grief Justyna

This little man he had a busy day
Set the alarm, waited for Giannina
A potential flatmate, went wrong way
(She did), wrong bus, so had to advise her
I couldn't wait, work was calling. Stayed there
Til 3, then 45 minutes to get
To an eye appointment in Eccles. where
I got the all-clear. Tram back to the flat
Ate tea, then walked down Oxford Road and met
Justyna, first time in a while, she'd say
That's cos her life's hectic, stressful, and a
Pain in every way, but she still came out
She didn't like all the acts, but Randy
Felt Face she did like, so did I, ha ha!

Tue 12 Nov

4825 - (Not) Well I Wonder

It's cold, and I got hailed on, on the way
To work, but my coat protected me well
And soon it stopped. It was a busy day
But tomorrow will be busier still
As there's meetings, then I'm off to Eccles
For an eye check, then out to comedy
Randy Felt Face, no less, bringing chuckles
I hope. Poor Helen, post-birthday, now she
Is still ill, nausea, reaction to the
Excesses of the night out, Saturday
Meanwhile Josephine's gone over the hill
She's off-radar and out of sight to me
Didn't hear from her all weekend, just paid
Her ten quid on demand. What for? Can't tell!

4824 - Punk and orderly

Just stayed in but at least I wrote two songs
One's not Life On Mars but on Uranus
The other is my own composition
Extinction Acceptance, about boomers
Punk, and that there is no future for us
Cos we've ruined it for the rest of man
Animal and vegetable species
Black comedy I guess, musically an
Easy one to play and remember, when
Filming a video, or performing on
A stage, solo, straining memory, fingers
It's not just talent, but execution
What else? Exercises, the fourth time done
This week, a good number, a real plus

4823 - HHHHH

Helen messaged a day before her birth-
Day, let's do lunch, of course the answer's yes
She's so great, that she actually means the earth
To me, why and how does she pass the test
Every time, being herself, effortless?
It was hard going back to the office
But there was stuff to do, no more no less
But soon I'll be back, not taking the piss
Just getting along with this super miss
The epitome of cool, what's her worth
Unquantifiable, I feel so blessed
Only I can appreciate all of this
I'd just like to say, H, have a great birth-
Day, and I'll see you soon, so til then - bless!

4822 - Faster faster Mr Baxter!

Early start at work, nine hours at full speed
Yet as it neared the end, things unravelled
And more rapid work's suddenly needed
Add to that the weather is turning cold
A few hours break back home til I'm propelled
Again into the maelstrom waiting there
But things aren't too bad, can still be controlled
So I'll stay optimistic, won't despair
Mostly there's moral support, most are fair
It's been a tough week or two but my lead
Has borne fruit in most projects in my fold
And I've been improving beyond compare
Just when I thought that I had succeeded
More hurdles to jump, nettles to be held

4821 - Election misdirection

Rees-Mogg really put his foot in his mouth
When he said Grenfell fire victims didn't
Use their common sense, they should have gone out
Straight away, ignored the advice (the c***)!
Revealing Tory empathy's defunct
And what they really think of poor non-whites
Who do vital jobs, the same immigrants
Who keep London's wheels turning, and despite
Terribly low wages, fearing each night
The same could happen again, while those proud
Tories live in their mansions, arrogant
And detached (not semi) from people's plight
This is helping Labour without a doubt
Corbyn is their room-dwelling elephant

4820 - Flat flap

Woke early, Chan's last day here, briefly saw
Her pop into the kitchen and the fridge
While at work, she messaged with a picture
Of the keys on the table, a message
Of goodbye and good luck. Now a passage
To Korea for her, as the fireworks bang
Back here in Salford, keeping heritage
Alive, it really feels like sturm und drang
Round here! Now the flat's empty, couldn't hang
Fire on a bottle of wine. So let's pour
It out while I ponder finding just which
Person's right for this flat. Talking to Chan
Last night, got feedback, so I can be sure
Who would fit well here and how much to charge

4819 - The week starts here

So energised yesterday, despite all
I did all through Sunday to tire myself
Out, once in bed I just couldn't settle
For almost two hours. But felt in good health
Apart from a sore throat - that didn't help
But again, felt well when I woke, thank God
Because work's so hectic now, and by stealth
Deadlines approach while I have also got
Management duties that take time to sort...
Back home, as it got dark, first thing was pull
The exercise mat out to develop
The abs, in lieu of tiresome gym or sport
Need to strain a bit to look fit and well
As Bony Tony's world starts to revolve

4818 - Chan Chan Cheerio

Woke early, good night's sleep, clean night before
And had a good day, did all I wanted
And quickly. Now there's not much left in store
This evening, so maybe I'll get started
On a new book, get naturally knackered
So I can get an early night and an
Early rise. Chan's departure - two hundred
Pounds of returned deposit's now withdrawn
One hundred more to come, all in her hand
Tomorrow, that's her last day here. Been more
Than a year - how it's flown, but then she's had
Lots of trips - the States, China and Japan
Korea, Spain - been globetrotting, for sure
Now from Korea a visa's needed

4817 - Train trouble

Woke up before eight, plenty of time to
Have breakfast and watch the rugby final
Before walking to town to meet with Jo
The train to Liverpool was an ordeal
It couldn't actually get to Liverpool
We had to change, the line to Lime Street blocked
And caught the Southport train to 'Pool Central
The Merseyrail far as Birkenhead Park
The 437 bus to Greasby, walked
To my mum's house on Thorns Drive, saw her new
I-Phone with all the apps and her struggle
To work it! Caught taxi to pub and talked
And ate for two hours or more. Taxi to
Mum's house again, then home by bus, not rail

4816 - Work is fun shock horror

I was planning to work at home because
The smart meter man had an appointment
He came, a waste of time, it really was
And then my wi-fi wouldn't work, so went
Into the office, a short walk, to spend
From eleven onwards in the office
Did a lot in my time there, as often
Recently - this week, long hours I've logged. This
Seems to be the pattern in this job. It's
Alright though, it gets me through the hours
Quickly, makes me feel as though my work meant
Something, more than in the old job. Get pissed
On Thursday and Friday evening. I miss
Old colleagues, but I'm in my element!