5006 - Manchester near united

Today felt low at times but still used it
Wisely, going for a long walk, something
I've not done enough since the lockdown hit
Cold wind and grey sky, Salford Quays, crossing
The Ship Canal, continued following
The tram track for a while round Trafford Park
Thought about possibly continuing
To the Trafford Centre, but that's a walk
And a half, so turned back. At Booth's, bought pork
Pie and shepherd's pie, but no fear, didn't
Eat both! Played uke pretty well. Practising
Is paying off. Though Netflix called, thought, Dork!
Beforehand, do a new comedy skit
United versus City recording

4926 - Lisbon Day 3

Cloudy at first, then the sunshine shone through
After confusion 'bout departure point
Caught the Yellow Boat with its friendly crew
Got off on the far bank - our appoint-
ment with the Christ statue was imminent
We took a tuk-tuk to Rio's twin bro'
Built in '59, the same monument
As the one in Brazil - no need to go
There now!) Only had half an hour or so
Then took the tuk-tuk back. Quick meal. Yellow
Boat just about to leave. Jo feeling faint
Headed back to the hotel so that Jo
Could have a lie down. There might be time to
Have an evening meal. Last night in this joint

Thur 20 February

4925 - Lisbon Day 2

Very late leaving our hotel room - she rises
So late it was 12 noon before we went
Caught Yellow Bus open top tour, which is
Also a ticket for a boat tour - can't
Wait for tomorrow! The bus drove inland
I thought it was the Modern Lisbon tour
But it was Lisbon and Belem. Unplanned
But brilliant. Saw Belem, but also saw
The Golden Gate style bridge just above our
Heads. So sunny. Next, we sat with slushies
And waffles at a pavement table. Planned
To see the castle. Just too late, the door
Was closing, but saw the cathedral. It's
Great in Barrio Alto. A day well spent!

Wed 19 February

4915 - Rust sometimes sleeps

Storm Ciara battered us starting last night
At midday it was so dark, quite scary
Went for a walk when it then seemed more bright
Needed to go and find somewhere to be
Salford Quays is often the choice for me
Shops, the theatre, the Ship Canal, even
Studios of ITV and BBC
I bought a new duvet set, it's heaven
A rust colour, can't wait to lie within
And a new breadknife bought as the storm hit
The mall roof hard. The shops closed then, lucky
Me for not getting wet. Walked home again
Made my bed. The new colour's a delight!
Now, shall I write? Have I the energy?

4886 - Gimme Refuge

Nice lie-in, relieved, cos I woke at six
Then went to the loo and dozed off again
Felt a bit sickly, overdid the drinks
Slightly last night, thought there might be some gain
In getting rehydration powder, then
Felt better. now at long last it was time
To meet Helen in town for a session
She looked great, sexily dressed, so sublime
Went to The Refuge, some of her crew came
Too to see a DJ they knew, who mixed
The vinyl as we all chatted as friends
Finally, she had two burgers, hunger games
I hope soon our creative muscles flex
Saw her off on the bus - bye bye Helen!

4879 - Saturday Sprite Fever

So - must begin with so - what did I do
At home on Saturday. I exercised
(Fourth time this week), sat down and wrote some new
Comedy, more burping from drinking Sprites
Went to Sainsburys to buy some more, surprised
A big bottle costs the same as a small
Hopefully Sunday I'll record a nice
Little video, but if not, I've got all
Next week. I think it'd look best filmed well
After dark, since the sketch is set when you
Are out late in some bar with lonely eyes
Despite years passing, still missing your girl
Watched Atomic Blonde, Berlin cold war view
Any chance to see its familiar sights!

Saturday 4 January

4871 - The weekend is postponed here

Woke early, very tired, but excited
Thinking tonight I'd go out with Helen
Firstly to watch Mike Joyce's DJ set
At Yes, and then from there, we could go on
Extending hopefully a long night's fun
To K2 karaoke bar, China-
Town, a place I've heard of but not yet been
But when checking the Yes address, I'm a
Little confused, the date had changed kinda
Secretly, suddenly, before we met
To Saturday. Given this confusion
And both our family commitments, kinder
To us and all of them, we thought, to wait
Til next Friday, then we'll have a good one!

4848 - Breakfast in Belfast

A filling hotel Irish breakfast at
The Ramada, so near to everything
At Custom House on time, the meeting starts
At 9am til 10:30, covering
All the items, though I needed more time
After those two colleagues left, I was lucky
To chat to C, she gave me everything
I needed. By coincidence, and funnily
Those two women tomorrow both will be
In my building in Manchester! Contact
Was fun with three important peeps, growing
My reputation gradually, slowly
But surely. Back home, pulverised the frets
Of my uke, The Jam and The Doors did ring!

4847 - Fishy on a dishy

Worked at home for a while, then caught the train
To the airport, from there flew to Belfast
Had a lovely walk round, there was no rain
In fact it was pleasant, though when I passed
Custom House to the Quays, the wind was iced
A little. Headed to City Hall in
Quick time. The Christmas market there, quite fast
I walked round, bought nothing, time for eating
Fish City, Ann Street, an award-winning
Restaurant, expensive, filling just the same
Then to the Duke of York, a lovely glass
Of Guinness, possibly the best-tasting
I've ever had, then hotel film, and lain
In bed thinking of Helen. What a blast!

Tue 3 Dec

4789 - Bilious at Berlioz

Saturday, day of showers, met Josephine
It was dry as we walked around and ate
At Las Iguanas, where the Brexit scene
Was discussed, must have impressed those who sat
Nearby, my still-young daughter really at
The races now with politics and views
She's doing it at A level, and that
Will make her even better with the news
And current affairs. Like Louis, she'll use
That expertise to good effect, I ween
Then met Helen at Waterhouse, some chat
Then to the Bridgewater after some booze
That knocked H out, she felt ill, kept it in
The whole concert, then puked, then went and ate!

Sat 5 Oct

4770 - New feet for the old road

Exercised in the morning, then went out
To see Josephine, first time for a while
The rain had stopped. She knew the place to eat
Pizza Express - voucher, 2 for 1 meal
In her pocket, so although in normal
Times I wouldn't go there, this time we did
For the second day running, a cycle
Event, this time for families. Oxford Road
Was our next stop, new students all around
Walking excitedly up the main street
Of the campus area in similar style
To me in the 80s when that whole ground
Looked so different. Video uploads complete
Ready for new ones to make people smile

4753 - Short cut

First day back, not too bad compared to what
I thought it might be like. I made contact
With Amanda and Josh, something I had
To do, strike while the iron's hot, attacked
My reticence and fear, and they both liked
My Bony Productions page. On Facebook
Doing that, saw Tom Short had a show. I walked
To the Adelphi Theatre, and then, look -
Rhiannon turned up. Saw some film Tom took
At the end of the Fringe, only a short
Time ago. Walked back, played uke to a strict
Diet of Smiths and Sparks. Better on uke
Than ever tonight. The incentive's great
To work on my music comedy act

4747 - Ed Fringe Day 24

Walked more today than any other day
24 kilometres, not far off
Marathon length. Quite a good show today
Three fun-spirited lads came, two were of
Aussie origin, and they gave the love
All the Aussies I've met here have given
Not only that, an Aussie comic gave
A great show - Bilge Pump Seminar - down in
The Boteca (Heroes) basement. Walking
In addition to Edinburgh, the bay
From Musselburgh back to the city. Wove
My way across sands, rocks and seaweed. Sun
Shone on it all! Can now definitely say
I've seen some great sights, free from push and shove!

Fri 23 Aug

4724 - Ed Fringe Day 1

Not much sleep on the midnight bus up here
Which stopped at Leeds for two hours in the night
Woke up to see we were in Edinburgh
Pleased to say this time I felt great delight
Walked with red suitcase and blue bag to wait
Outside 88 McDonald Road for
Nick the Landlord, who came promptly. With great
Speed I settled in, searched for the Lidl store
Got food, etc. Practised songs after
Coffee and porridge. Two lads then appeared
- Jimmy and Lewis - said hello, then flight
To town, Fringe Central, firststop, then to Sur-
geons Hall, met Aussie crew, mutual helpers
I'll do the lights for their shows - yes, the lights!!

Wed 31 July

4723 - Here I go, here I go, here I go!

I didn't find a way to safely dye
My teeth for Edinburgh - just as well,
Maybe! It would have washed off, gone down my
Throat, or, if food dye, proved impossible
To make it stain my teeth, and would have swilled
Straight off at the first drink or snack I ate!
Today ticked off important things - I'm thrilled
That I'm collecting the keys to the flat
Soon as I arrive, unpack, sort my shit
Then I'll be meeting A and K just by
Surgeons Hall, our venue, café table
To discuss respective plans and shows. It
Is now really taking shape! Will time fly
Or drag? Either way, it may prove crucial!

4705 - Rap Trap

Long day's work, thirteen hours, almost two days
In effect, train to Newcastle and back
Although the North East, I felt the sun's rays
Warming me as I walked around the blocks
Of that massive place where they do the tax
Benton Park View. Met Ian W there
For coffee and a fairly long chinwag
Been listening to many female rappers
On an extremely long playlist, never-
Ending, it seems, but when an oldie plays
Such modern music, give him pat on back
Knackered, but I'm gonna watch on Film 4
'Momentum' - violence and torture to gaze
Upon til bedtime, and my sleep gets back on track

4702 - Watered down

This evening, went with Helen to a show
Called 'Swim' a world premiere I wanted to
See, to see how they showed swimming, with no
Actual water, like I'll have to do
In Edinburgh, not Theatre 2
But Theatre 3, Surgeons Hall, when I will
Attempt to swim on the floor, and get you
To join in! We even thought t'would be brill
To try wild swimming when we can, yet still
As ever, it's finding the time. To go
To a lake or river would be a new
And fun experience, but not a canal
Now home, watching highlights of to and fro
Between Johnson and Hunt. A how-de-do!

4696 - Aye, TV

Today my first day back at work. Popped in
To the office to charge my laptop, then
Headed to a nearby building, fearing
I was late for the Customs conference
Some new faces, and old ones seen again
Got in touch with the Hotel Meininger
Jo left her speaker under the bed when
We were messing around with music there
I hope they find it and post it back here
Not relaxed at all, I did ironing
Then first time in a week, a uke session
Played well, now I need to decide whether
To play it live in my show. In a spin -
ITV followed me on Instagram!

4694 - Milan Day 5

Destination Bergamo, so Metro
M5 (purple line) to Garibaldi
Changed to M2 (green line), two stops to go
And we're at Centrale. Platform 10's the
Only platform to go, so you can be
In Betgamo in fifty minutes. Caught
The 1A bus to Citta Alta. We
Couldn't have walked to the High Town. We ate
A great pasta meal in the old square. Fate
Drew me a little further. Tesoro
Was a fantastic sight for phone to see
I videoed and photo'd at some rate
Also, the Duomo. Back to Milan, throw
Last nice food down our throats, P, J and me

Mon 1 July

4692 - Milan Day 3

Not quite as hot as yesterday, but still
About 34 degrees. Pearl stayed here
Enjoying our air con. Good night for all
We all caught the Metro. Shopping centre
Great 19th-century architecture
Then the Duomo Square, pix and videos
Got snacks, headed to Sempione Park, where
We sat on the grass, then ice cream that froze
My mouth, down Via Torino, I chose
An x-ray duck, a bony duck that will
Soon become a comedy character
Maybe up in Edinburgh I could use?
Sat by the canal at Noviglio, thrill
Of relaxation, two glasses of beer...

Sat 29 June