5010 - Yoga bear

Just waiting for a conference call to end 

I’ve done a few things today while my eyes

Stayed on my inbox. Yoga, lots of bend 

And stretch, wobbles as Bony Tony tries

To stand on one leg! Popped to shop, my buys

Including fish for the next two main meals 

Wrote a comedy script - Morecambe and Wise

Beware - involving jokes to produce squeals 

(Of pain). When it’s all done, tonight reveals

Dogs of Berlin on Netflix. Recommend

It to Helen, may bring back memories 

Of our days there. A place that still appeals 

Work’s done now, so comedy time, my friends 

The second of my Jesus interviews 

5006 - Manchester near united

Today felt low at times but still used it
Wisely, going for a long walk, something
I've not done enough since the lockdown hit
Cold wind and grey sky, Salford Quays, crossing
The Ship Canal, continued following
The tram track for a while round Trafford Park
Thought about possibly continuing
To the Trafford Centre, but that's a walk
And a half, so turned back. At Booth's, bought pork
Pie and shepherd's pie, but no fear, didn't
Eat both! Played uke pretty well. Practising
Is paying off. Though Netflix called, thought, Dork!
Beforehand, do a new comedy skit
United versus City recording

5001 - Facts is facts

So nice to have energy - second day
Of feeling hale and hearty, up for it
Worked until twenty-past six. Must delay
My next comedy video, time is tight
I thought, and so instead, thought why not write
At least some of this coming Friday's quiz
And I've completed general knowledge. Might
Just re-use the music questions amassed
For my family quiz two weeks ago. Best
Think of some new ones too, cos that's the way
To enjoy it more, find out cool facts. Might
Be amazed at what I learn as I test
Helen's friends. Work has also said I may
Host a team quiz soon online when we meet

4999 - Bony Tony's funny bone on loan

What did I achieve today? First video
In well over a week. Mainly tiredness
Stopped me doing more, a few days ago
But this weekend I didn't wanna face
Doing one, funny bone had gone some place
Half-four in the afternoon, sky gone grey
Sat in my seat, packet of mints in place
But beyond eating them on film, to say
I lacked inspiration was no foray
Far from the truth. So decided to go
Out for a walk. During the week I miss
The chance, too busy, but now think I may
Do it after work, or maybe before
It would keep my weight down and reduce stress

4998 - TVOD

It's been a quiet day here on my own but
Posted a few things and comments online
And played uke to a Traffic playlist that
I'd put together on Spotify when
Spending a long sober night Thursday in
Listening to the radio and reading my
Book. Heard some good tracks that night, now they're on
My 'People' playlist, they were suggested, I
Didn't have to search, and anyway why
Would I when by then I had quite forgot
The names of songs and bands. Lucky coin-
cidence! Thought a walk might be nice. Should try
Tomorrow. There's time if that TV's not
On all day. Should do comedy. It's time...

4987 - Good but boring

Although it's boring staying good and clean
It does have benefits. You get more done
Whatever, today I was determined
To finish work early, get flexi down
A bit, and I exercised early on
Re-wrote comedy scripts for videos
The first already filmed this afternoon
In time to watch the coronavirus
Daily briefing, and fried some great sea bass
While it was on. The truth is, I'm real keen
To play my uke before two films come on
Europa Report, Eye In The Sky, just
Into films right now when I'm relaxing
They entertain while I'm stuck in lockdown

4985 - Bedding in

Sunday, and almost a normal Sunday
Much like any other Sunday. Sunny
But quite chilly, not quite a lovely day
Wore my coat while queuing for Sainsbury
Got beer in, had a few, felt quite cheery
Didn't do all I should, but exercised
Press-ups, did 85, not quite 90
Did a song lyrics sketch, with a few likes
I hope folk found it funny, I surmised
They did. Tomorrow, it's a purple day
T-shirt and hair-wise, channelling Jimi
I feel weary now, bit de-energised
So bed here I come, I am on my way
Watched Snatched, Amy Schumer, minor hee hee

4982 - Bottom of the pops

It's Thursday. I think. Hard to tell these days
Did quiz research first, and had some ideas
For a comedy sketch, not that it pays
But it's fun to think up and do, I guess
Filmed at home, there's no travel expenses
And it doesn't take me long to do it
It never has. It suits my laziness
I've done so many now, feel less a tit
If people don't watch, that don't make it shit
Popularity, I don't know its ways
But then so many don't. Even success
Is no guarantee of that, not one bit
Played good uke, a few soul numbers. My craze
For music is something that never dies

4974 - Howay the sads

I had a good day at the office - no!
How can that be, when we're all working at
Home? And the sun shone. Decided to go
Join the Sainsbury's queue for food and that
Keep two meters away, you bloody prat!
Afterwards, exercised, third time this week
Did 90 press-ups today on the mat
One prick does handstands outside - what a geek
All on his own, showing off, takes a peek
To see if anyone's looking, ho ho
Only to laugh, mate. Hope you fall down flat!
Recorded a vid, then got out my uke
Pleased with today's comedy film. I know
I'm good at ad lobbing. Think I nailed it!

4960 - A day in the laugh

I need an early night, with no drinking
It's no fun when you're tired, really, is it?
But before it's too late in the evening
Each of the last few nights I've done a skit
Or song of some kind for the internet
Seven in a row since starting this scheme
Of daily comedy videos and yet
I'm not worried I'll run out of a theme
I could just waffle, won't run out of steam
Now that I've started, there'll be no stopping
This sonnet diary, that was just the start
Since September '06, how long I've been
Writing it. Now I can add one more thing
That's daily - a video comedy hit!

4955 - Bog standard

So yesterday was Friday the twentieth
I worked quite hard at home on note-taking
And then turned my attention to the stuff
I'd planned to do later in the evening
Which was Bog N Roll, I thought it a thing
Which went well, only two views, dunno why
People not yet convinced, or deciding
They've better things to watch rather than I
Could it be that the online stats they lie?
Nineteen views for the night before's post, with
A worse performance. It is perplexing
I hope to improve viewings by and by
Can only do that by design and stealth
It could take a while, but must keep trying

Fri 20 March

4953 - Absinthe makes it hard to ponder

A reasonable day at home, working
Bit tired and hungover, to be honest
From last night and some absinthe imbibing
But coped okay, overcame mental mist
Gradually, as the online meetings forced
My brain into action. Facebooked a bit
But in the back of my mind, knew the test
Of success today would be doing a vid
What's more, though not til 9pm, I did
And it was based on today's news breaking
About schools closing from Friday. That's best
But it should've been long done, not delayed
A short speech culminating in a song
But couldn't put it on YouTube, damn, blast!

4908 - Awkward instance

Exhausted but no sleep during the day
Went to bed late and no lie-in was had
Main thing I achieved was practice all day
A new song only written today - mad!
Performed it at Worst Night, went not too bad
But not as funny as I'd hoped, sadly
Must look at the video that Anna made
It's not long at least, it was under three
Minutes. Washed the yellow out my hair. We
Now prepare for a new work week, hey hey
After Friday's poor night out with the lads
And lasses was terminated by me
Early, what if anything will they say?
Here's hoping that it won't be too awkward

4905 - Middlesbro' - where art thou?

Day off today, Thursday, to recover
From the late night last night doing comedy
Stayed to the end of the gig. Left the bar
In Middlesbrough at 11:30
Home about 1:20, bed 2:30
Can't really go to work without a break
After that, or shouldn't try, need to be
Calm and restful for my mental health's sake
The work situation, I need to make
Some move, I've got no help and it's not fair
Tomorrow there's an opportunity
To tell my boss the truth and what's at stake
Then there's a meal and drinks to mark retire-
ment of a colleague, if in fact I'm free!

4904 - Sticky singers

Extremely hectic and frenetic day
Thank God, slept well, since I set the alarm
For 6:30, it's been all work, no play
Recently, so I worked hard as a storm
Left early enough to go and perform
Up in Middlesbrough at Sticky Fingers
Three of us in a car, me trying to learn
The chords. It's much better when with others
The whole experience shared with my peers
Sadly I quite forgot to ask AJ
Or Barbie to film me, so short of gorm
Was I, but my set went down well, got cheers
And got dropped off home quickly by Barbie
But what's my next move? Where wriggles the worm?

Wed 29 January

4902 - Do adjust your set

Early start, and a long day in office
But still I did exercises later
Sent over a biog and couple of pix
For the upcoming gig in Middlesbrough
Wednesday night - so soon! Needed to prepare
So next, I rewrote the set, started to
Learn the words, and I might practice in ,,, where?
In bed, that's where, and it might be fun too
So I can wake early again I do
Want to finish these sonnetary tricks
And get creative under the covers
Jiggling with words, juggling with how d'ye do?
So don't say to me, hey, you can't touch this
Because I need to touch my big idea

4896 - Life is short, but farts are long

I've worked so hard today, got so much done
That all I wanna do now is relax
One thing I'll do during relaxation
Is load my comedy videos from last
Sunday onto Dropbox, after I've axed
The many ones from that site that I no
Longer need, as my space on there's maxed
So I'll do that next, then I'll watch a show
And upload the new stuff. Harry will go
To London for two days, so then I can
Safely film my third Sprite sketch while the flat's
Empty, and also try new stuff out so
It can go on YouTube. All sounds like fun
For all I've done lately, I deserve claps!

4894 - Ketching up with people

A long day with a lot of achievement
Got up in time to watch Andrew Marr's show
Wrote a new song and then some merriment
In the form of a JFK sketch, though
It needed ketchup as a prop, and so
Bought some from Sainsbury's and I cooked my lunch
Rang Louis on his birthday, radio
On while I dozed, then caught the tram to watch
Liverpool v Man U, the rivals' crunch
Match with Barbie Mugabe, and we went
To two pubs in Chorlton. Beer was a no-
No, for I was to perform song and sketch
Later, where the audience was in ferment
And chaos reigned, but made a video

4892 - Bed of poses

A hard day's work but easing off as the
Weekend draws near, and as I've not for days
Had a drop, got slightly pissed tonight, yeah
And ended up in somewhat of a daze
Although before then, did two videos
Saturday Sprite Fever, episodes one
And two, assuming that Harry he plays
Out Friday night and wouldn't backwards come
To the flat tonight, not anytime soon
But I'd just done two sketches, one in here
In the living room under camera's gaze
Then one even crazier in the bathroom
Finally, filmed in bed, but my phone power
Ran out, then he came home. Wow - that was close!

Fri 17 January

4888 - Back to Drac

It's getting mad at work, I'm exhausted
Was gonna go out to Frog and Bucket
To see some peeps I know humiliated
Trying to Beat The Frog, but got so wet
In a downpour on the way home. Forget
Walking for miles to that venue and back
And possibly wet again, I felt that
Was beyond me, and so instead watched Drac
Episode 3, and slowly using slack
Wi-fi and phone, all night long, to upload
My performance last night, seven minutes
In length, I feared the time that this would take
But it's nearly done. When I go to bed
I think the alarm might need to be set