5012 - It May be May

It may be May but it’s been colder than

It should be for May. It has been sunny

But a cold wind’s blown, too cold to sit down 

Please let’s have the warmth now that I am free

To go out and meet Helen near the trees

But Friday eve was fun, Saturday too

Woke with a tune in my head. Hurriedly 

To the kitchen where I hummed it into

My phone, and it dominated all through 

The day, as I worked out the chords and tune

Recorded, uploaded eventually 

I thought I’d spend time on Netflix but no

Not yet, and it’s gone ten! Dogs of Berlin 

Here I come, I postponed you. So sorry!

4985 - Bedding in

Sunday, and almost a normal Sunday
Much like any other Sunday. Sunny
But quite chilly, not quite a lovely day
Wore my coat while queuing for Sainsbury
Got beer in, had a few, felt quite cheery
Didn't do all I should, but exercised
Press-ups, did 85, not quite 90
Did a song lyrics sketch, with a few likes
I hope folk found it funny, I surmised
They did. Tomorrow, it's a purple day
T-shirt and hair-wise, channelling Jimi
I feel weary now, bit de-energised
So bed here I come, I am on my way
Watched Snatched, Amy Schumer, minor hee hee

4977 - I know my John Bunyans

Much more relaxed, though still no time to waste
Wrote song lyrics for a musical sketch
It wasn't hot enough to have sunbathed
Fifth exercise session this week - I stretched
And pulled my muscles taut. Ate. Then I fetched
The next Bony Tony t-shirt - it's pink
I knew then the Punk Panther would well match
My pink shirt and hair, and it matched a punk
Version of the Pink Panther tune, I thunk…
But had less than an hour til the quiz. Haste
Was then required. Listened a few times, checked
The chords to play on the uke, a quick plink
Then launched into it, in the best of taste
Then won the lit quiz, as they all expect...

4976 - Unstable table

On a whim this morning I cleaned the floor
But knocked over and broke my round table
What a shame, and how do I get one more
When everything's closed? I am unable
But when the charity shop opens, well
It's just over the road, has furniture
So fingers crossed I'll a suitable
Replacement when I finally look in there
Recorded a fun sketch involving the
Queen singing and tap dancing - more and more
Weird get my ideas, but not unstable
In fact I'm enjoying lockdown. I'm here
In my flat, and time saved makes it easier
To film sketches to entertain people

Fri 10 April

4971 - Mexico Ditty

A pleasant day, got most of my tasks done
Exercised, recycled, cleared out old files
And put main ones I use in desk drawer in
The living room. Rang Mum and Josie, smiles
Created, I hope! Watched a 60's style
Dean Martin film, fun, fighting, sexy girls
Then deleted almost all my emails
Though kept a few faves, e.g. my travels
Or interesting links, or other marvels
But the highlight - filming my Mexican
Song medley at last. Been waiting a while!
Big hat put away, shaved off my stubbles
Doing subtitles when this sonnet's written
A fun weekend, with things achieved in piles!

4967 - No holiday - celebrate

I was tired, woke early, but lots to do
At work, and did it all, and even more
Had to celebrate with drink when all through
So soon bed will be welcome, I am sure
Slight headache, even, tiredness plus beer
But it's been a good day, no doubt of that
Ready to do tomorrow, when it's here
Played uke, no recording today, but had
To listen repeatedly like a mad
Man to the tracks I'd hoped yesterday to
Play just like that. Realised I had to hear
Them more to play them well in film format
Will listen further tomorrow, renew
My knowledge, will be all the better for

4964 - Video ketchup

It seems as though the subtitling has not
Been a waste of time, I can see them on
YouTube at least. although there was a spot
Of bother, not visible on my phone
Last night I thought I'd worked hard but I'd blown
It, wasted my time, got depressed and stopped
Drinking, ate cos I was hungry, then gone
To bed, although a part of me still hoped
It had worked, and it had. Now I have popped
Subtitles on five songs, now they might get
More views on YouTube, that is what I want
I'm encouraged now, learn to edit, crop
Reveal, merge, combine, do the simple shit
Others are all doing, and long have been

4963 - Grey day

What a day, what an evening, ended bad
I exercised for the sixth time this week
I recorded a video in my bed-
Room, despite neighbour noises. Don't be meek
I thought. Screw them, don't be afraid, snowflake!
It was Gay Bar, become Grey Bar. Not great
Singing, must up my game, vocals were weak
I must improve, or it is all a waste
Of time. Ideas are strong, but I must face
The vocal challenge, or the vids look sad
I haven't uploaded it though. Tried to seek
Out help for adding subtitles. And twice
I painstakingly did them. But I could
Not see them on my phone. IT's a freak!

4956 - Self isolation

Today I planned to do 'self-isolate'
As a theme, and wrote lyrics this morning
Listening to a 70s song that's great
Called 'It's Too Late' by that there Carole King
From 'Tapestry', that's a familiar ring
An early 70s classic album
Allied to the coronavirus thing
Thought I could match it to wiping your bum
And self-isolating and staying home
It was OK but I should have done more takes
Then I'd have sang it better, no doubting
Lessons learned and all that, I must become
Willing to put more work in not frustrate
My talent with laziness, so I think

4953 - Absinthe makes it hard to ponder

A reasonable day at home, working
Bit tired and hungover, to be honest
From last night and some absinthe imbibing
But coped okay, overcame mental mist
Gradually, as the online meetings forced
My brain into action. Facebooked a bit
But in the back of my mind, knew the test
Of success today would be doing a vid
What's more, though not til 9pm, I did
And it was based on today's news breaking
About schools closing from Friday. That's best
But it should've been long done, not delayed
A short speech culminating in a song
But couldn't put it on YouTube, damn, blast!

4908 - Awkward instance

Exhausted but no sleep during the day
Went to bed late and no lie-in was had
Main thing I achieved was practice all day
A new song only written today - mad!
Performed it at Worst Night, went not too bad
But not as funny as I'd hoped, sadly
Must look at the video that Anna made
It's not long at least, it was under three
Minutes. Washed the yellow out my hair. We
Now prepare for a new work week, hey hey
After Friday's poor night out with the lads
And lasses was terminated by me
Early, what if anything will they say?
Here's hoping that it won't be too awkward

4895 - Do the punky chicken

Woke early despite my hectic Sunday
Was pleased, so much to do at work, it's good
To get in early, get stuff out the way
Back home, put on a podcast, cooked some food
Ate half a huge chicken pie, now it's cooled
And in the fridge to finish tomorrow
Played uke, Harry went out. I'm not being rude
But I don't care, each time I play I grow
That little bit better, least I think so
Can do a better job now when I play
Something I only wrote earlier and could
Also I can look up and sing into
The mic, and see the faces on display
Proper performance, grooving like I should

4894 - Ketching up with people

A long day with a lot of achievement
Got up in time to watch Andrew Marr's show
Wrote a new song and then some merriment
In the form of a JFK sketch, though
It needed ketchup as a prop, and so
Bought some from Sainsbury's and I cooked my lunch
Rang Louis on his birthday, radio
On while I dozed, then caught the tram to watch
Liverpool v Man U, the rivals' crunch
Match with Barbie Mugabe, and we went
To two pubs in Chorlton. Beer was a no-
No, for I was to perform song and sketch
Later, where the audience was in ferment
And chaos reigned, but made a video

4887 - It'll be all right on the Sprite

Still recovering from yesterday in more
Ways than one, but although I'm physically
And mentally drunk, I did recover
And went on to do quite a lot, really
Wrote a new Sprite sketch which is quite funny
Looked at Prague flights, went shopping, searched for nights
Out, planned the next few nights, so much to see
Comedy, films, and all stuff that excites
Think I'll go to the Frog and Bucket, might
See some acts I know from Worst Night take the floor
Will they survive, or raised cards will they see?
Was tired, but took a new song to Worst Night
Good response to Walking In Austria
A new video for YouTube, hopefully!

4880 - East was east

Wrote the second Saturday Sprite Fever
Sketch. I'll film them one night when Harry's out
Went out tonight, played new song, Anozzer
Brick In Ze Vall, wearing my army hat
A Soviet hat, but I was playing the part
Of an East German military man
Singing about the Berlin Wall and that
It must be built to keep restless kids in
Jamie Heath videoed it, and when I've seen
It, I'll decide if it's good and whether
To put it on YouTube, though I forgot
To do my planned intro gag, but thinkin'
I could write it under the title where
Viewers could see it and smile like a trout

4877 - Freddie's dead

Decent night's sleep, went to work, tried to catch
Up with it all, so complicated, though
Listening to ASAP Rocky as I walked
Home. Exercised, third time this week, on floor
Then listened to the Fred West podcast more
Played uke, Harry in his room must have heard
Last night's YouTube posts had comments before
I've even publicised them. Is the word
Getting out? I hope so, as I'm so bored
With marketing, telling people to watch
It'd be great if I didn't need to
Self-publicity's strictly for the birds
But, though I hate to do it, oh so much
I must post links on social media

4876 - All isn't quiet on New Year's Day

I'm tired now, although I stayed in all day
I was up late on New Year's Eve of course
And what did I do with my time today?
The main thing was sorting my videos
Getting them all on my computer, those
Awkward ones that seem to take forever
To upload to Dropbox, but the year's closed
With all of them watched, uploaded, all there
And put on YouTube ready for viewer
Enjoyment. Finished Disgraceland, will play
Two albums talked about on Jake B's shows
Namely, Todd Rundgren and also rapper
ASAP Rocky. The twenties underway
Hope things remain fun without any pause!

4875 - Train not in vain

Returned the car to Avis in Bolton
No scratches or surcharges, thank goodness
Got the train back, forgot my main mission
To buy a bedside alarm clock, replace
The broken one where time never changes
Main task once back has been to watch videos
And I've now seen those shot at Barbie's place
Back in early December! I suppose
They're not too bad, ten songs in all. I froze
From watching them all this time, a burden
I shrank from, watching myself make a mess
From inadequate rehearsal, but shows
I'm improving at the uke if I can
Make it sound ok while singing, I guess!!

4866 - Song sung blue

The main focus of today - to prepare
To go out and play new songs live, video
Footage to be obtained so I can share
The musical side of my act some know
Well, but not Edinburgh venues, although
I've still to decide finally whether
I want to do the Fringe, another go
After the trials of this closing year
I certainly felt it spoiled Edinburgh
All those young flyerers and some cynical fare
Pirates, Potter, sci-fi, and so and so
Not to mention endless takes on Shakespeare
At times it was almost too much to bear
But tonight I went out and led the show

Sun 22 Dec

4858 - Cold cold Christmas

A boring day at home, and cold throughout
The boiler's dead and I sat in my coat
I was recovering from my drinking bout
So took it easy, played uke note for note
Along with some Spotify tunes by rote
In the evening, forgot my shivers by
A fun spell on Facebook, though still not put
My songs on from a week ago, so I
May do that on Monday, when at last my
New boiler is installed, when I will shout
For joy, whack the heat on, remove my coat
Looking forward to the heat, I won't lie!
Meanwhile, was so engrossed in online chat
Match of the Day was completely forgot!

Sat 14 Dec