4723 - Here I go, here I go, here I go!

I didn't find a way to safely dye
My teeth for Edinburgh - just as well,
Maybe! It would have washed off, gone down my
Throat, or, if food dye, proved impossible
To make it stain my teeth, and would have swilled
Straight off at the first drink or snack I ate!
Today ticked off important things - I'm thrilled
That I'm collecting the keys to the flat
Soon as I arrive, unpack, sort my shit
Then I'll be meeting A and K just by
Surgeons Hall, our venue, café table
To discuss respective plans and shows. It
Is now really taking shape! Will time fly
Or drag? Either way, it may prove crucial!

4722 - Tell the tooth

I did my back in yesterday, bending
Down to the floor, writing notes on paper
And twisting - that's the worst thing for straining
The spine and its muscles. They need repair
But no time to slow down, or else the fear
Will infiltrate deeper inside my mind
Next thing to do is tooth dyeing. I hear
It's best to always tell the tooth. I'll find
More to do after that. I have declined
To maintain my website - maybe trying
To post stuff on there is the best idea
While I've got my laptop with me. I've dined
Now to crack on, my time is shortening
Maybe I'll be brave, or just shave my hair...

4721 - Return to the King's Arms

Still coming down from last night's high, for sure
But got to get my work head on right now
What I need to do, it's a long list, or
Shall I do nothing, sexy fear, and how?
Ramp up the adrenalin when I go
Up north, knowing it's last minute dot com
No, better to prepare properly my show
Like Carla had done lots of gigs to come
To full knowledge of her props and the time
Each segment took, ten segments to the hour
The new interactive signing game - wow!
She'd only just written that, and it won
My admiration how she controlled her
Volunteers, so clever, such a free flow

4720 - Rainy days and fun days

Unpleasant rainy day, but going out
Soon to see Carla's show with Justyna
I hope the performance is not in doubt
Would be a shame, so long since I've seen her
Comedy, and she's done well this last year
Or so, settled, happy, doing her shows
Me and J plan to have a smoke before
And after, that'll finish me, it does
So doing all I can now with reviews
Of my script, songs, to-do lists and whatnot
My mind's already gone, worn out, ha ha
Next task, to make CDs of songs, and choose
Sound effects for the pre-show part of slot
Hubbub, animal noises, I'd prefer

4719 - Do one

Oh life, you are so funny, so wicked
Luckily, I can cope, though it is hard
I am not equipped really to succeed
But I can dissect you, you ball of lard
I am above you, I am quickly bored
With your bullshit, at every turn you try
To dictate, but you don't have what I've stored
It beats anything you can throw. Won't cry
Anytime soon, will out-think you, and I
Say, bring it on, it's a battle, won't hide
Won't back off, despite dullness from the herd
To say I lack confidence is a lie
I'll take you, shake you, beat you with my head
You can hoist yourself on your own petard

4718 - Tone loves the sun

Felt more energetic today, felt good
At lunchtime, bought more hairspray and a watch
To time my act. In my shorts, felt I would
Be able to fit in an hour and catch
More sun, which I did, tan topped up a touch
Looks good as I sit here now typing this
In the humid evening, though rain's a much
Closer prospect than it would seem unless
You'd seen the forecast. Now need to rehearse
The show, having strummed tunes on uke. I did
Exercises in the heat. I'll be such
A busy boy soon, but must shun excess
Try real hard to stay fit, eat well, fresh food
Through August, get my sleep, and just relax...

4717 - What's it all about, Tony?

Not as sunny as yesterday, but still
Warm. No shorts today, but tomorrow I'll
Wear them, the sun will blaze, and I'll sizzle
Out at lunch if time, if not, go home while
The sun's still hot, and sunbathe there, I'll pile
Onto my towel. It could be 32
Or maybe 34 or more. Must toil
Hard as I can not to miss the days you
Only get rarely. Last year, not a few
Golden summer days were wasted. Battle
Away in the office to no avail
Joke around, what do I get? If I do
Well at the Fringe, so what? Who'll care? But thrill
It would still be after this lifelong trial

4716 - Not quite right in the head

I felt energetic, first time in days
Worked hard, got things done, also spent lunch out
In the sun, and I look browner, so says
I...! People enjoyed my tattoos about
Places I've been, and it makes me quite proud
I can still attract attention. It should
Be a good sign for the Fringe, trying to shout
Above the din and chaos, lure a crowd
To look and listen and try to act proud
Though I'm a lifelong loser, loser's ways
Can be turned into winner's. Still in shorts
I ate, then met Justyna, and Bread Shed-
Bound we were, after a smoke. We laughed tres
Mucho, as before, caught eyes of the lot

Tue 23 July

4715 - Sleep no more?

This lack of sleep is wearing me out now
Truly exhausted from mid-afternoon
Struggled to stay awake in meeting, how
I kept my eyes open is an unknown
When I got home I went into my room
Nearly dropped off, but Chan then banged her door
And that made me too tense then to resume
Sufficient sleepiness. Ate tea, then more
Attempts to sleep, this time on the sofa
Watching an old film, but failed, had to bow
To the inevitable, knowing soon
I could at least go back to bed before
Ten and try again. Will tiredness allow
My first decent sleep for a week? Come on!!!

4714 - My good health!

I was so tired but overcame it by
Buying Kronenbourg and necking it quick
And so now I'm ready for bed if I
Can have another piss before I flick
Myself under the covers, but must stick
Where I am right now, cos Chan's back, and is
Showering, back from Spain, the hot water licks
Her fat body, hard to imagine this
Is my life, but it's funny nonetheless
I wish we could live longer, then we'd try
To learn from our mistakes. If we can lick
Old age by keeping fit, we hope for bliss
Did exercises, worked on my show, why
Not try, not trying would be lunatic...

4713 - Too tired to sleep

Woke at quarter to six, way too early
So tired, had shower, could not eat my porridge
Tried to sleep on the sofa, not easy
Failed, could hardly move, my thoughts stuck in sludge
But I needed to work, can't afford slippage
Lots to do in connection with the show
Only a week and a half til the Fringe
And at half three was due to head out to
The Frog, meet Justyna, watch a preview
We did, and it was Gaby Killick. We
Sat at the front, but Gabs did not engage
With us, but met my eyes closely on two
Or three occasions. Later, energy
Came to write songs for the show. Great tuneage!

4712 - If that's the way it is...

What do I care, if people are such fools?
It's not up to me to change them, better
To maximise my own life, there's no rules
I was brought up to care about other
People, but this just leaves me just nowhere
So now I don't care, I'll experiment
With doing what I want, no time to spare
They all do what they want, just what they want
Maybe I should try that too, be a c*nt
I could be a good one, treat them like stools
Hatred rather than love, will get my share
It's a waste of time, now I will just shunt
Them aside, demonstrate that I should rule
Take the crown, then succumb to the despair

4711 - Warmth of the strum

Still not a proper night's sleep, but still I
Managed to do a full day's work, even
Doing exercises on the mat, eye
Drops moistening my bloodshot orbs, regain
A healthier look's the aim. Walking again
Comfortably, my heel's feeling better
The doc's stretching advice working. so when
I can, I stand half off a step. If chair-
Bound, I bend my feet up into the air
So I should be fit at the Fringe for my
Energetic show, and covering terrain
Trying to see other shows when time's spare
Still so much to do, to do I will try
Practised my songs on the uke. Warm evening

4710 - Late to bed, early to rise

Still the odd now unwanted thoughts of her
But the great thing is that these last few days
I've done so much work for Edinburgh
And even when I should be in a haze
Of tiredness, I have frankly been amazed
How much I've got done these last few evenings
And this morning as the earliest rays
Dimly lit my curtained room, me lying
There unable to sleep, but still feeling
Excitement and drive to start earlier
Thinking about and working on my ways
Of rehearsing, buying props, or posting
On social media, soon as the lodger
Went out, wasted no time to quickly rise

4709 - Night flight

Less than one hour of sleep. I'd stayed up late
To watch the late night movie on Film Four
A film which was called Nico, 88
From 2017, a premiere
Because I knew I'd just lie there and stare
If I wasted time on an early night
The image of Helen a blinding glare
A perfect scene, a perfect summer sight
Not intended for me, I had no right
But I went nearer, spoke to her, with great
Difficulty, then retreated, a poor
Loser as always, no fight, always flight
But that's my place. My other place it waits
Not long to go now until Edinburgh

4708 - Insight

Just as I was feeling optimistic
And things seemed on the up, I saw a girl
I thought, is that her, took a closer look
And yes it was, enough to make you curl
Into a ball and give up, what a thrill
For the eyes. But something was wrong, I knew...
Why was she there, looking so good, to kill
A man on the spot, when for me she'd do
Nothing like dress like that, or smell good too...
I know now the dream that died must stay stuck
In the back of my mind, must cleanse the swirl
Of images and thoughts, either a new
Girl must be found, or, more likely, I'll stick
To lonely ways. It seems that is my world

4707 - Final draft

What a day of sport, what a day of my
Authorship, nearly nine hours of writing
Accompanied by Grand Prix, Lewis' high
Then as I continued my hard working
I watched the tennis final, an hour in
Already, yet it went on for so long
I finished my show re-draft, then cooking
And eating my kipper for tea, the strong
Jokovich finally lifting the gong
The older Federer not disgraced, not by
The longest final in remembering
And when that was done, quickly popped along
To Channel 4 to see the last balls fly
England win the cricket World Cup. Thrilling!

4706 - Bony Tony is home alony

It's a nice evening, it's Hacienda night
At Castlefield Bowl, but I haven't gone
I had no-one to go with, and I might
As well work on my show than go alone
It's not as if I really like the drone
Of that bland dance music they always play
But with added strings, wowee, it's such fun -
Not, and certainly not when you must stay
In place for hours if you want to say
You had a good view, or take pix and shite
But really, would it impress anyone?
Go into character, or use hairspray?
Film myself pretending I feel all right?
I've done well, and I'm on the bandwagon!;

4705 - Rap Trap

Long day's work, thirteen hours, almost two days
In effect, train to Newcastle and back
Although the North East, I felt the sun's rays
Warming me as I walked around the blocks
Of that massive place where they do the tax
Benton Park View. Met Ian W there
For coffee and a fairly long chinwag
Been listening to many female rappers
On an extremely long playlist, never-
Ending, it seems, but when an oldie plays
Such modern music, give him pat on back
Knackered, but I'm gonna watch on Film 4
'Momentum' - violence and torture to gaze
Upon til bedtime, and my sleep gets back on track

4704 - Fishing for condiments

Drinking to get an early night because
I'm setting the alarm for 5:30
Got an early train to catch. It's long hours
Tomorrow, so that'll help my flexi
Up to Newcastle, Landfill Tax will be
The subject matter - it's kinda rubbish
Literally, there's a joke in there, trust me
When the boat comes in, we'll all get our fish
Of which there was a smell in the office
Today, no joke, and not sweetened by sauce
Tired tonight, so, with beer added, maybe
I won't be knackered when the alarm hits
My ears. Always stressful, the early rise...
Been choosing which Fringe shows I'd like to see

4703 - Show 'nuff

A busy day, especially the morning
But did well, think I impressed the bosses
With my summarising and outlining
Of EU Exit Customs challenges
Seems to be a mix of sun and showers
But much warmer than yesterday evening
When I was out with Helen, and shivers
Aplenty with no coat. Exercising
Once back home from work today, messaging
And phoning people, such as the banking
People at Lloyds, my direct debiting
Arrangements cocked up by them, but it is
Sorted now, thanks to me. It gets tiring...
Now to choose which Fringe shows are the must-sees!!

4702 - Watered down

This evening, went with Helen to a show
Called 'Swim' a world premiere I wanted to
See, to see how they showed swimming, with no
Actual water, like I'll have to do
In Edinburgh, not Theatre 2
But Theatre 3, Surgeons Hall, when I will
Attempt to swim on the floor, and get you
To join in! We even thought t'would be brill
To try wild swimming when we can, yet still
As ever, it's finding the time. To go
To a lake or river would be a new
And fun experience, but not a canal
Now home, watching highlights of to and fro
Between Johnson and Hunt. A how-de-do!

4701 - It's only words

Mainly sunny, Monday, not in work mood
Neither was anyone else, seemed to me
Chatted to two colleagues, then time for food
And costume-shopping with Helen in the
Arndale Centre, at LuvyaBabes party
Clothing emporium. Couldn't really take
Any good pix of H in her sexy
Costume, because of shop assistants. Took
Some OK ones though, did my best, then looked
For seats in the sun, The Mitre seemed good
For quick service. Back home this evening, she
Sent another pic, wearing tights - my luck
Was in! Practiced street songs a little. Should
Start learning the lyrics now, urgently!!

4700 - Popping out for shopping

I finished the big Edinburgh brochure
This morning, but then I needed a break
So I went shopping to the shops so near
I just cross the road. First I had to take
A look in the charity shop. I took
Two shirts to the counter, but one was torn
Going next to Home Bargains was no mistake
I got art canvases and pegs to pin
Paper to them, like an easel. Within
My show I can now easily draw
Without big props or equipment to drag
Around or store in their small room. Then in
Poundstretcher, a suitcase for Edinburgh
Then ran through my busking songs on the uke

4699 - (I need) brochure closure

And so we come to Saturday. I've done
A few things, but not enough, especially
Not re-drafting my show, practising tunes
Or even reading the Fringe brochure. See -
I always put the big stuff off til the
Absolute last moment. However, did
Sort out some little things, like next Tuesday
A theatre night out with Helen, which I'd
Thought would be good to see - it included
Swimming as the main theme, and I for one
Want to see how that's done, both technically
And visually on the stage, cos this could
Help the staging of my own Fringe show, when
It comes to Swimming On The Floor, hee hee!!

4698 - I've gotta lotta bottle, said the axolotl

I had that Friday feeling, maybe since
A bottle of wine the previous night was
Still in my blood, but I felt good, and it's
Nice that my relations with my staff is
Better than it was, though the actual cause
Is not what I've done, I won't accept blame
Hopefully it'll get better. Banters
Were good all round, even talked a good game
About my Edinburgh show, with fame
Almost certain, well no, OK, but fits
Of laughter are good, even in office
They cheer me up. Played uke when I got home
Got beer in on the way. Couldn't convince
Myself to stop, went out and bought more booze

Fri 5 July

4697 - Do fishes drink?

Oops! I'm three days behind, and I know why
It's because the last two nights, I got sloshed
And clean forgot sonnet-writing duty
On Thursday, went to an Excise workshop
Then back home posted pix which made a splash
Then played some good uke, and then just felt good
And felt like celebrating with some pop
And listening to Funky Jams playlist, mood
Further lifted by groovy gals and dudes
That's all I then could do til the time I
Had to go to bed, for sleep time was squashed
I had, or thought I had, indeed I should
Have known I didn't, have a meeting. Why
It was still in my diary, I'm non-plussed

Thur 4 July

4696 - Aye, TV

Today my first day back at work. Popped in
To the office to charge my laptop, then
Headed to a nearby building, fearing
I was late for the Customs conference
Some new faces, and old ones seen again
Got in touch with the Hotel Meininger
Jo left her speaker under the bed when
We were messing around with music there
I hope they find it and post it back here
Not relaxed at all, I did ironing
Then first time in a week, a uke session
Played well, now I need to decide whether
To play it live in my show. In a spin -
ITV followed me on Instagram!

4695 - Milan Day 6

Lie-in til 10, had chosen not to do
Much. Caught the airport train, we almost missed
Platform 13, Garibaldi - oh, phew!
Just made it! Burger King nuggets and fizz
Then to the airplane at Gate 36
Milan to Manchester, temperature drop
Glad I'd changed out of shorts to long trousers
Partial cloud cover, potentially a strop
But honestly, a relief, I can't stop
Thinking GB's coolness is something new
And refreshing, no hot sun, not oppressed
Couldn't resist when I got home, a drop
Or two of beer. Watched England's women flop
Now it's bedtime. To all you, here's my kiss x

Tue 2 July

4694 - Milan Day 5

Destination Bergamo, so Metro
M5 (purple line) to Garibaldi
Changed to M2 (green line), two stops to go
And we're at Centrale. Platform 10's the
Only platform to go, so you can be
In Betgamo in fifty minutes. Caught
The 1A bus to Citta Alta. We
Couldn't have walked to the High Town. We ate
A great pasta meal in the old square. Fate
Drew me a little further. Tesoro
Was a fantastic sight for phone to see
I videoed and photo'd at some rate
Also, the Duomo. Back to Milan, throw
Last nice food down our throats, P, J and me

Mon 1 July

4693 - Milan Day 4

More heat, but made the most of it, going
To Como with Pearl. Met her on the train
At Monza, we were happily chatting
Walked round the old town slowly with no strain
Keeping to shadows where we could. I drained
Coffee full of cream, spoonful and spoonful!
Caught the boat to Cernobbio. I trained
My phone on the green hills, sky, foam and all
In time-lapse mode. Good film? Time will reveal.
Nice ice cream, two drinks, even church viewing
Some good Bony Tony pix, can't complain
Pearl's been a great guide these two days, and still
Me and J are off to Bergamo, seeing
The old town, then meeting Pearl once again

Sun 30 June

4692 - Milan Day 3

Not quite as hot as yesterday, but still
About 34 degrees. Pearl stayed here
Enjoying our air con. Good night for all
We all caught the Metro. Shopping centre
Great 19th-century architecture
Then the Duomo Square, pix and videos
Got snacks, headed to Sempione Park, where
We sat on the grass, then ice cream that froze
My mouth, down Via Torino, I chose
An x-ray duck, a bony duck that will
Soon become a comedy character
Maybe up in Edinburgh I could use?
Sat by the canal at Noviglio, thrill
Of relaxation, two glasses of beer...

Sat 29 June

4691 - Stazione a stazione

Spent quite a while perusing the brochure
For this year's EdFringe, now only just one
Month away. Pleased with my ad, it's right there
In the top right corner, looks really fun
With my logo, black on pale blue background
Noting with asterisks the shows I'd like
To see, sometimes people I know or found
On Twitter, as I seriously start to hike
Up the publicity campaign. Jo psyched
Up, playing music, then at 5, prepared
To finally explore Milan. From station
Garibaldi to Centrale, we spiked
Our temperatures as we walked. Met Pearl for
A meal at Miscusi. Back to ours, then...

Fri 28 June

4690 - Alp, I'm a rock

Finished things off at home before leaving
The British weather's suddenly got hot
It's almost a shame that we are flying
To Milan where it's really, well, too hot!
All went well, a taxi to the airport
Had a beer and wine combination while
In the plane, saw the Alps clearly, and thought
Of when I was also with J, some miles
Up over the same peaks, people all smiles
As 9 month old J crawled through the cabin
Returning from Naples' Italian cot
To her home equivalent, family-style
Train to Garibaldi station, getting
A taxi to the Meininger. Up late...

Thur 27 June