5010 - Yoga bear

Just waiting for a conference call to end 

I’ve done a few things today while my eyes

Stayed on my inbox. Yoga, lots of bend 

And stretch, wobbles as Bony Tony tries

To stand on one leg! Popped to shop, my buys

Including fish for the next two main meals 

Wrote a comedy script - Morecambe and Wise

Beware - involving jokes to produce squeals 

(Of pain). When it’s all done, tonight reveals

Dogs of Berlin on Netflix. Recommend

It to Helen, may bring back memories 

Of our days there. A place that still appeals 

Work’s done now, so comedy time, my friends 

The second of my Jesus interviews 

5006 - Manchester near united

Today felt low at times but still used it
Wisely, going for a long walk, something
I've not done enough since the lockdown hit
Cold wind and grey sky, Salford Quays, crossing
The Ship Canal, continued following
The tram track for a while round Trafford Park
Thought about possibly continuing
To the Trafford Centre, but that's a walk
And a half, so turned back. At Booth's, bought pork
Pie and shepherd's pie, but no fear, didn't
Eat both! Played uke pretty well. Practising
Is paying off. Though Netflix called, thought, Dork!
Beforehand, do a new comedy skit
United versus City recording

5001 - Facts is facts

So nice to have energy - second day
Of feeling hale and hearty, up for it
Worked until twenty-past six. Must delay
My next comedy video, time is tight
I thought, and so instead, thought why not write
At least some of this coming Friday's quiz
And I've completed general knowledge. Might
Just re-use the music questions amassed
For my family quiz two weeks ago. Best
Think of some new ones too, cos that's the way
To enjoy it more, find out cool facts. Might
Be amazed at what I learn as I test
Helen's friends. Work has also said I may
Host a team quiz soon online when we meet

5000 - Cherry-picking

Felt wide awake today, at last, thank God
Concentrated better at work, for once
First time in two weeks, because I was good
And had an OK night's sleep, though not tons
After work, went for a walk. Lots of runs
Going on, post-work joggers all around
The sky was blue, but faintly felt the sun's
Heat. Kept my jacket on. Should've pulled down
My zip to show my T-shirt, but I'd found
An unexpected place to film, forgot
About the t-shirt and about my plans
To head for a park bench. Liked this background
Of the cherry pickers across the road
So filmed right there as I downed all my mints!

4999 - Bony Tony's funny bone on loan

What did I achieve today? First video
In well over a week. Mainly tiredness
Stopped me doing more, a few days ago
But this weekend I didn't wanna face
Doing one, funny bone had gone some place
Half-four in the afternoon, sky gone grey
Sat in my seat, packet of mints in place
But beyond eating them on film, to say
I lacked inspiration was no foray
Far from the truth. So decided to go
Out for a walk. During the week I miss
The chance, too busy, but now think I may
Do it after work, or maybe before
It would keep my weight down and reduce stress

4982 - Bottom of the pops

It's Thursday. I think. Hard to tell these days
Did quiz research first, and had some ideas
For a comedy sketch, not that it pays
But it's fun to think up and do, I guess
Filmed at home, there's no travel expenses
And it doesn't take me long to do it
It never has. It suits my laziness
I've done so many now, feel less a tit
If people don't watch, that don't make it shit
Popularity, I don't know its ways
But then so many don't. Even success
Is no guarantee of that, not one bit
Played good uke, a few soul numbers. My craze
For music is something that never dies

4977 - I know my John Bunyans

Much more relaxed, though still no time to waste
Wrote song lyrics for a musical sketch
It wasn't hot enough to have sunbathed
Fifth exercise session this week - I stretched
And pulled my muscles taut. Ate. Then I fetched
The next Bony Tony t-shirt - it's pink
I knew then the Punk Panther would well match
My pink shirt and hair, and it matched a punk
Version of the Pink Panther tune, I thunk…
But had less than an hour til the quiz. Haste
Was then required. Listened a few times, checked
The chords to play on the uke, a quick plink
Then launched into it, in the best of taste
Then won the lit quiz, as they all expect...

4976 - Unstable table

On a whim this morning I cleaned the floor
But knocked over and broke my round table
What a shame, and how do I get one more
When everything's closed? I am unable
But when the charity shop opens, well
It's just over the road, has furniture
So fingers crossed I'll a suitable
Replacement when I finally look in there
Recorded a fun sketch involving the
Queen singing and tap dancing - more and more
Weird get my ideas, but not unstable
In fact I'm enjoying lockdown. I'm here
In my flat, and time saved makes it easier
To film sketches to entertain people

Fri 10 April

4974 - Howay the sads

I had a good day at the office - no!
How can that be, when we're all working at
Home? And the sun shone. Decided to go
Join the Sainsbury's queue for food and that
Keep two meters away, you bloody prat!
Afterwards, exercised, third time this week
Did 90 press-ups today on the mat
One prick does handstands outside - what a geek
All on his own, showing off, takes a peek
To see if anyone's looking, ho ho
Only to laugh, mate. Hope you fall down flat!
Recorded a vid, then got out my uke
Pleased with today's comedy film. I know
I'm good at ad lobbing. Think I nailed it!

4971 - Mexico Ditty

A pleasant day, got most of my tasks done
Exercised, recycled, cleared out old files
And put main ones I use in desk drawer in
The living room. Rang Mum and Josie, smiles
Created, I hope! Watched a 60's style
Dean Martin film, fun, fighting, sexy girls
Then deleted almost all my emails
Though kept a few faves, e.g. my travels
Or interesting links, or other marvels
But the highlight - filming my Mexican
Song medley at last. Been waiting a while!
Big hat put away, shaved off my stubbles
Doing subtitles when this sonnet's written
A fun weekend, with things achieved in piles!

4969 - All night long

Intense day's work from 10 til two-thirty
Then nipped out to the Co-Op for some beer
Then a call from my manager, thirty
Minute chat, then it's time for beer and cheer
As Friday night approached, called Helen. We're
Chatting by video link. It lasted all
Evening, including a fun quiz with her
Friends in the Leigh area, living rooms full
Of families, or like us, single people
Alone in our houses or flats, then we
Resumed the call once more, me with my beer
Her with her Bailey's. Bottle started full
And ended empty. I listened as she
Hissed at Cats' Protection. Midnight was here!

4968 - Justice in time

So tired, woke early, put in a long day
No energy for videos tonight
On and off, had the TV news on. They
Are talking 'how many?' - the usual great
Interest in fatality numbers. Spate
Of dramatic 'stories' as news folk call
'News' items, the more harsh some poor guy's fate
The better the 'story' of that guy's fall
What happened to Weinstein? So forgetful
When something 'better' comes along. But they
Banged him up just in time, before courts shut
Up shop, and juries couldn't congregate
Celebrities film themselves, there's no way
To find camera crews. We feel for their plight!!

4967 - No holiday - celebrate

I was tired, woke early, but lots to do
At work, and did it all, and even more
Had to celebrate with drink when all through
So soon bed will be welcome, I am sure
Slight headache, even, tiredness plus beer
But it's been a good day, no doubt of that
Ready to do tomorrow, when it's here
Played uke, no recording today, but had
To listen repeatedly like a mad
Man to the tracks I'd hoped yesterday to
Play just like that. Realised I had to hear
Them more to play them well in film format
Will listen further tomorrow, renew
My knowledge, will be all the better for

4966 - If music be the food of rejection...

Felt a bit better after bleary start
Finished by five, hopeful of an easy
Video tonight, no words to make it hard
Few subtitles to type, so there was me
Eating, thinking all optimistically
Just play some loneliness tunes, was the plan
Anticipate jazz methodology
Just do it, no boring rehearsal, plain
I didn't need it, confident my brain
And fingers would play the medley, and what
A surprise to viewers those skills would be!
Chose clothes, lamplight, ornate backdrop, yes, and
Not til 8:30 had I built my set
But can't post it, because I played badly

4965 - Walls have ears

Woke up early, but had gone to bed late
Knocking back booze watching Amy Winehouse
And Michael Jackson documentaries. State
I was in, I did well, worked extra hours
Worked until six, with calls that time devours
Or is it the calls that devour the time?
Missed exercises out, ate, while ideas
About tonight's video were in my mind
I sat in the hall between doors, trying
To find a way to sound-proof, insulate
My embarrassing sketches from neighbours'
Ears, speaking too quietly. Almost a crime
I feel I must whisper, harming my art
And reducing the YouTube view numbers

Mon 30 March

4964 - Video ketchup

It seems as though the subtitling has not
Been a waste of time, I can see them on
YouTube at least. although there was a spot
Of bother, not visible on my phone
Last night I thought I'd worked hard but I'd blown
It, wasted my time, got depressed and stopped
Drinking, ate cos I was hungry, then gone
To bed, although a part of me still hoped
It had worked, and it had. Now I have popped
Subtitles on five songs, now they might get
More views on YouTube, that is what I want
I'm encouraged now, learn to edit, crop
Reveal, merge, combine, do the simple shit
Others are all doing, and long have been

4963 - Grey day

What a day, what an evening, ended bad
I exercised for the sixth time this week
I recorded a video in my bed-
Room, despite neighbour noises. Don't be meek
I thought. Screw them, don't be afraid, snowflake!
It was Gay Bar, become Grey Bar. Not great
Singing, must up my game, vocals were weak
I must improve, or it is all a waste
Of time. Ideas are strong, but I must face
The vocal challenge, or the vids look sad
I haven't uploaded it though. Tried to seek
Out help for adding subtitles. And twice
I painstakingly did them. But I could
Not see them on my phone. IT's a freak!

4960 - A day in the laugh

I need an early night, with no drinking
It's no fun when you're tired, really, is it?
But before it's too late in the evening
Each of the last few nights I've done a skit
Or song of some kind for the internet
Seven in a row since starting this scheme
Of daily comedy videos and yet
I'm not worried I'll run out of a theme
I could just waffle, won't run out of steam
Now that I've started, there'll be no stopping
This sonnet diary, that was just the start
Since September '06, how long I've been
Writing it. Now I can add one more thing
That's daily - a video comedy hit!

4956 - Self isolation

Today I planned to do 'self-isolate'
As a theme, and wrote lyrics this morning
Listening to a 70s song that's great
Called 'It's Too Late' by that there Carole King
From 'Tapestry', that's a familiar ring
An early 70s classic album
Allied to the coronavirus thing
Thought I could match it to wiping your bum
And self-isolating and staying home
It was OK but I should have done more takes
Then I'd have sang it better, no doubting
Lessons learned and all that, I must become
Willing to put more work in not frustrate
My talent with laziness, so I think

4955 - Bog standard

So yesterday was Friday the twentieth
I worked quite hard at home on note-taking
And then turned my attention to the stuff
I'd planned to do later in the evening
Which was Bog N Roll, I thought it a thing
Which went well, only two views, dunno why
People not yet convinced, or deciding
They've better things to watch rather than I
Could it be that the online stats they lie?
Nineteen views for the night before's post, with
A worse performance. It is perplexing
I hope to improve viewings by and by
Can only do that by design and stealth
It could take a while, but must keep trying

Fri 20 March