4963 - Grey day

What a day, what an evening, ended bad
I exercised for the sixth time this week
I recorded a video in my bed-
Room, despite neighbour noises. Don't be meek
I thought. Screw them, don't be afraid, snowflake!
It was Gay Bar, become Grey Bar. Not great
Singing, must up my game, vocals were weak
I must improve, or it is all a waste
Of time. Ideas are strong, but I must face
The vocal challenge, or the vids look sad
I haven't uploaded it though. Tried to seek
Out help for adding subtitles. And twice
I painstakingly did them. But I could
Not see them on my phone. IT's a freak!

4958 - Our good health!

The working week once more, I think at least
Hard to know workdays from weekends right now
Felt tired by 3pm, not quite the beast
I thought I was! But still I then got down
On the exercise mat for press-ups, How
I miss when I could manage a hundred
Press-ups, only did 70, but no
Surprise really, given I've not been good
FaceTimed Helen, an hour and a half chewed
The fat, that was fun, isolationists
Joining through technology still somehow
Ate food, got booze, a video posted
Then watched Prometheus, aliens' human feast
Once more back to the news - we're in lockdown!

4939 - Video dreams

Listening to Hot New Bands on Spotify
On my phone, thru my speaker, yes, all's fixed
Bluetooth's working on my speaker and my
Headphones now. Tomorrow I will visit
Vee's flat after work, take my PC, it's
Sending files straight from my phone when they're done
Onto my PC, should be effortless
But never has been, can take all evenin'
To upload a single video, makin'
It pointless filming them. Now maybe I
Can do it easily like modern kids
What a dream, especially with Prague comin'
To be able to film just what I spy
And upload when I want, and watch transfixed

4938 - Picture that

I've got my new phone going, though it's slow
To load up, Bluetooth's not working yet, but
I'll get there, with help, the next few days, so
I will. Spotify's downloading about
One track every fifteen seconds, but that
Painful slow rate's not so different to what
My old phone did in this old-fashioned flat
Got to tolerate, not let it frustrate
Not everything's served quickly on our plate
Now I'm watching a film I think might show
Into the mad but artistic mindset
It dates from back in 1978
The Eyes of Laura Mars, take a photo
Of sexy women and get paid for it

4937 - Phone moan 2

Sadly, the phone I bought on Sunday is
Just not charging up. A dud battery?
I almost got it going, fingerprints
And passwords entered, then went black on me
And like last night that's how it seems to be
Staying. Gonna have to swap, or to claim
A refund, go elsewhere. Prefer to see
If I can try another of the same
Model, the i-Phone 8, cos it's less pain
Moving my old phone's data onto this
Same brand of phone - well, that's the theory
Technology, once again it's the bane
Of my life, but I've begun this process
I'll finish it in a day, two or three

4936 - Phone moan

Today's mainly gone well, bought a new phone
In town, and new health foods of various kinds
However, disappointed once back home
I can't turn the phone on, though I keep trying
I'll ask Vee. Watching A Beautiful Mind
And typing this. Did my exercises
In an ad break. Just now I'm determined
To keep healthy. Superfoods advice is
Eat watercress, I bought some. Surprise is
I'd forgotten matcha tea, used to own
Pots of it from Chinatown. You can find
It in Sainsbury's now. A strainer sizes
The powder into smallness. I bought one
Now I'm gonna brew some properly, first time!

4929 - Phone zone

Today just carried on where yesterday
Left off. Of course it always does, but I
Mean adding to my playlist constantly
Even through lunch I didn't stop while my
Soup was cooked and eaten. And by and by
I added more. I'm hungry now because
I carried on so long, that is no lie
Also chatted to Harry. The lodger's
Been helpful with new phone-buying advice
Intended to upgrade my phone today
But he's suggested instead I should buy
One outright, recommending some Chinese
Makes. I think I should wait until payday
But then I'll do it. May not be an I

4901 - Going going going

Sunday, a bit of a failed day today
It's my crap phone and Dropbox both combined
Trouble uploading anything, all day
Kept trying, but it was a long, failed grind
I'll hope another day will be more kind
My only consolation, a booking
Of a holiday literally just round
The corner - mid-February, it's looming -
Me and Josephine then will be flying
To Lisbon for three or four days to stay
In the much-praised Portuguese stomping ground
Even before Prague with Helen, happening
Soon. Hope the office lets me go away
And hope my tech demons to hell confined!

4827 - So, etc

So (begin with 'so' - it's the new thing) what
Happened today? Well, it was less hectic
Than yesterday. Slightly tired, so no mat
On floor, no exercise, when I got back
At teatime. Phoned Jo though. She said the lack
Of contact at the weekend was my choice
And she was right - I'd hoped to film in Black-
pool, but that fell through, midweek. So I suppose
That was my fault then, not, as I'd thought, hers!
Also contacted Helen - probably not
Out with her Friday, since she has been sick
Since last weekend's birthday bash, so she prefers
Peace and quiet - unless she changes that thought
Met Giannina - she's a Peruvian chick!!

4777 - Doctor in the park

Been filming in the park with Barbie and
AJ, the rain just holding off enough
And not deluging us as it threatened
To allow us to do our comedy stuff
They were all my ideas, should raise a laugh
When I post them over the next few weeks
We went to Buile Hill Park, Salford, a tough
Area but some nice houses too. The leaks
From the clouds earlier made the grass wet, streaks
Of mud here and there, and I rolled around
In it in my white doctor's coat. I love
My new character, Dirty Doctor, seeks
Employment at your gig, he has laughs planned
Phone storage full now, got to take pix off

4694 - Milan Day 5

Destination Bergamo, so Metro
M5 (purple line) to Garibaldi
Changed to M2 (green line), two stops to go
And we're at Centrale. Platform 10's the
Only platform to go, so you can be
In Betgamo in fifty minutes. Caught
The 1A bus to Citta Alta. We
Couldn't have walked to the High Town. We ate
A great pasta meal in the old square. Fate
Drew me a little further. Tesoro
Was a fantastic sight for phone to see
I videoed and photo'd at some rate
Also, the Duomo. Back to Milan, throw
Last nice food down our throats, P, J and me

Mon 1 July

4693 - Milan Day 4

More heat, but made the most of it, going
To Como with Pearl. Met her on the train
At Monza, we were happily chatting
Walked round the old town slowly with no strain
Keeping to shadows where we could. I drained
Coffee full of cream, spoonful and spoonful!
Caught the boat to Cernobbio. I trained
My phone on the green hills, sky, foam and all
In time-lapse mode. Good film? Time will reveal.
Nice ice cream, two drinks, even church viewing
Some good Bony Tony pix, can't complain
Pearl's been a great guide these two days, and still
Me and J are off to Bergamo, seeing
The old town, then meeting Pearl once again

Sun 30 June

4685 - The Fleeting Scotsman

Slept well in the circumstances, alarm
Woke me from deep repair prematurely
3:45, but summer daylight warmed
The heart. Even this June beats January
Just catch that bus to Scotland, leaves promptly
3:45 it goes the motor way
To Edinburgh, mother north city
I caught 40 winks somewhere round Tebay
Caught the best hills on wheels of 2 storey
On arrival, not yet in the mood, torn
Between fact-checking and Bony Tony
Photo opps, opposing forces at play
Uploaded in Starbucks, recharge til warm
Then a late bus down to English country...

Sat 22 June

4675 - He's Mochadile, he's from the Nile

Woke up too soon and now I'm really spent
Early night surely looms, unless I can
Get some shut-eye shortly. Managed to spend
Some time uploading more videos from phone
To YouTube. So now all 40 of them
Are safely stored on Dropbox and also
On YouTube. 40 Mochadile videos
That is, there are more besides I could show
You if you look there, if you have the time
Too tired to think of any more comment
Just want to relax, throw cares in the can
Ten Tories in a race to be the Prime
Minister, the Houses of Parliament
Hearing the speeches of the ten who run

4674 - YouDude

A better day today, YouTube, well done!
Managed to upload well over 20
Videos, by re-editing every one
And ignoring the message sent to me
That the upload failed! Oh, technology!
Mind you, it's true, I'm finding that the way
Around this awkward eccentricity
That software has is just simply to play
With it, don't be afraid or lazy.stay
The course and figure it out, and you come
To discover yourself the remedy
That works for you on your device, and hey!
Away you go! Regained my momentum
Lots uploaded, people are liking me...!!

4673 - YouPube

It's such a pain, this phone technology
It should be easy but it keeps going wrong
Failed uploads to YouTube, spending all day
Sending videos to Dropbox, takes so long
The wi-fi in my flat's so slow, I hang
Around, waiting, unable to do much
The whole damn business is so frustrating
After work, went to town to try to flush
Out the problem, talk to experts, and push
Forward. The O2 Shop girl advised me
It was useful but also depressing
She said my file types were not the ones which
YouTube could take. The Apple Shop man, he
Was more optimistic. We'll see, shortly...

4672 - Oh please, O2

Semi-successful day, but frustrating
As endless time to upload in this flat
Is spent, and also my phone settings
Aren't right. I need advice from an expert
Might try the O2 Shop tomorrow night
After work, when I also should collect
My dry cleaning, including the jacket
I fell over in, on my wedding trek
To Dulwich station. Oh my, flipping heck
So much to do tomorrow, phone meeting
And a face-to-face one with Lisa, but
It's the only one we'll have, Sian has clicked
In her interview and is beginning
As my new boss with immediate effect

4661 - Don't shoot the performer

Spent time and energy this morning on
Social media, posting new things, trying to
Engage with people out there, having fun
Also trying to arrange a shoot, but who
Is free to do it? Looks like they can't do
It, though I've four assistants from my ad
Incredible, but it just goes to show
You can't rely on any girl or lad
General reliability's SO bad!
What will I do when Edinburgh comes?
Hoping for help from peers to get me through
Podcast at 6, Reaching the Press, with food
To hand while I watched on my small i-phone
Europa League final now, from Baku...

4632 - TB phone home

Two nights of not enough sleep, but still done
Plenty at work and at home. At work I
Found the wi-fi much better than at home
And so I used the strong office wi-fi
To upload loads of old videos quickly
From Nice, Israel, Romania and Scotland
Even a comedy routine, but tried
And failed with the longer length performance
Have asked Tom what to do... I'm in his hands
Hope he replies. Tomorrow, Instagram
Workshop at Home, First Street, seven quid, try
To learn how to use it, improve my chance
To publicise my show at the Fringe when
I'm there in August. Why not? Why not? Why?

4631 - Music at the speed of thought

Struggling a little with Dropbox but most
Of my stuff's on there now from years ago
All done yesterday, now it took me loads
Of time to drop a two minute video
Into Dropbox, an hour in fact, so slow
As it is with photos, unless you can
Drag them from other files, then it is oh
So easy and quick. Now my phone it can't
Upload any more videos. Why not, man?
Too tired to do much else tonight, I'm just
Listening to music, sent Helen one now
Might play uke in a while, makes my mind run
Like no other activity, get lost
In superfast thought. But too tired, so no