3935 - Flowers in the rain

Sun and rain and Josephine, together
All mixed up like the slushie that she drank
First off Pizza Hut, refillable cola
I had the buffet, £6.99, thanks
Very much, I thought, but the palate sank
With each small plateful - pizza, not much else
Walked to St Ann's Square, give Jo chance to think
And reflect, look at the flowers and text
Scrawled on the statues, rain-washed, now a mess
But the flowers a carpet, a huge floor
Of respect and remembrance, a week's thanks
And praise for innocent lost loveliness
Looked at CDs in Fopps, vinyl in the
Piccadilly Records shop - boogie, skank

3934 - Through the square window

Felt much better today, now the fast's done
Lots of energy, feeling fresh and strong
Started writing for the competition
On the 19th June down in London
Mixture of old jokes, and some new and young
Went for a walk, hoping to think of some
Effective, and funny, interaction
With the audience to finish my act. None
Came to me on that walk, but in St Ann's
Square, saw the flowers heaped, bouquet upon
Bouquet, and more arriving, one by one
Played some good ukelele later on
Ate tea, and watched the debates with Paxman
Grilling both Theresa May and Corbyn

3933 - Fast football

It's the second day of my fast. I still
Did not get tormented by hunger pains
Despite almost 48 hours of will-
Power being needed, occasional feelings
Of fancying food, but from habit. Restrained
That impulse, despite nothing here to do
Beyond updating this diary again
It's now up-to-date. Starting reading through
The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. You
Can easily dip in and out when you're ill
Or short on energy, like me. My brain
Is still working normally. Arsenal 2
Chelsea 1 was the FA Cup Final
Pleased for Arsene Wenger, that fine Frenchman!

3932 - Fast sun

Today's the first day of my three day fast
I've felt normal so far, typing up my
Sonnet diaries, got the backlog reduced
Even sunbathed under a bright blue sky
On the grass outside my flat, just to try
To take advantage of this sunny spell
Showers forecast for tomorrow, so why
Not? Haven't eaten, despite tempting smell
From the kitchen as Carla cooked. Can tell
I'm feeling quite tired now, having refused
Food all day. It's now tea-time. Getting by
OK as regards hunger, not so well
When it comes to flagging energy. Trust
This will get worse as further days go by...

Fri 26 May 17

3931 - Fast food

My last work day for almost a week, but
No time to relax - comedy tonight!
Also, last day before my fast, so bought
Chicken from Sainsburys for a big bite
Of protein, before I starve myself right
Down to the bone. OK, it's only three
Or maybe four days' fasting, so it's quite
A short one, but my intention's to see
Deeper thought and insight coming to me
Like those Nazareth Christians said it would
Gigged at Tom Short's Robin Hood laughter night
OK, but a bit disappointing. We
Only got a small crowd, who didn't get
My stuff. Bring on the fast! Let thoughts take flight!

Thur 25 May 17

3930 - Manchester rebuilds

Traffic jams everywhere in Manchester
Roads around the Arena still closed off
Trinity Way Bridge almost complete there
Something I have been taking pictures of
Seemed that today there were more than enough
Meetings of various kinds, interrupting
My work. One was about mindfulness. Love
Yourself, appreciate each moment passing
Also discussed some future well-being
Events, maybe musical, we could share
Meanwhile, in Stockholm, can football repair
Some of the sadness from the bomb, and prove
That we will all recover, surviving
Singing, uniting? Is our culture tough?

Wed 24 May 17

3929 - Villa Killer

An early start, the 7:07
Train to Birmingham for a work conference
It was about HMRC's vision
A corporate, deemed necessary event
The day after the shock waves that were sent
By the Manchester Arena attack
Killing 20 young people, innocents
The venue, Holte Suite, inside Villa Park
Home ground of Aston Villa. The train back
To Manchester, a chance to rest. Going
To the King's Arms tonight, a defiant
Comedy show, to show we will not slack
In continuing a lifestyle that's gone
On for centuries, which we must defend

Tue 23 May 17

3928 - Act Naturally

A sunny day, hope Carla enjoyed it
She did well at So You Think You're Funny
The Leicester heat, that's where she was last night
I stayed at home, but I kept real busy
Slept til 8:20. The desks were empty
When I got to work, only Helen there
Ordered a credit card, bought my journey
By bus to London, a very cheap fare
(My heat of So You Think...) next month. Before
I decide on my material for that
I've got two gigs this week. Class number three
Tonight at DNA acting school, where
The teacher, Chris, said I did well tonight
Tomorrow, Birmingham. Must rise early!

Mon 22 May 17

3927 - Sun 21 May 17

A busy day at home. I'm doing all
I can with the valuable time I've got
Thought up new comedy material
Useful for local gigs, but it's a lot
More important for my forthcoming slot
At So You Think You're Funny, in London
In mid-June, when weather and jokes are hot
(I hope)... Read most of 'Comedy Routines'
Also, I got shopping and washing done
Listened to last day of Premier League football
And even watched a film, Captain Scarlett
From 1953, with Richard Greene!
Then finally, a minor miracle
Got into Google. Diary updates!!!

3926 - Sat 20 May 17

A showery day, mainly spent with Josie
Ate at Ed's Diner to escape the rain
A breakfast burger with some fries for me
I bought some cough sweets, honey and lemon
Felt so much better after this week's strain
After the usual Arndale Centre walk-
around, Jo  suggested New Islington
Vee's flat, to be precise. We went and talked
To Pearl by phone, while Vee played 80s rock
Soul, etc. Jo suggested that we
Check out some newbands, C & Bottlemen,
Cabbage, Alex Turner. Back home, I took
No booze. Instead, cooked and wrote comedy
And read a book of top stand-up routines

3925 - Fri 19 May 17

Just 3 hours' sleep, but one more busy day
Before the weekend, split into two parts
First, helping Learning At Work Week with a
Fun bunch - Maria, Paul D, and cohorts
From other offices, all friendly sorts
Helping to man a stall, talk about tax
Then back to the office. With Farah, walked
To Oxford Road Station to  hit the tracks
On a crowded train to Lime Street, and next
Snack from Pound Bakery, then made our way
To Regian House. Quick meeting, and then smart
Dash to Albert Dock. Farah took some snaps
Then via Liverpool One, a quick stay
For shakes at Archies. Finally, can relax!

3924 - Thur 18 May 17

Not enough sleep, but on to the next one
Another long day and night up ahead
My energy levels will soon be worn
Down, but not yet. Tonight, the belated
Retirement do of Geoff Riley, who fed
Us generously in Central Manchester
A three course meal. Prosecco provided
But then we had to buy expensive beer
A long night, going beyond 12, and some
Didn't work on Friday, but yes, I did
I was still one of the last leaving there
I walked home, but when bedtime came, still there
Was difficulty sleeping once again
Of this I am getting very up fed!

3923 - Wed 17 May 17

The next in a long sequence of late nights
I felt a little ill today, and tired
After last night's excess, but lunch was nice
Ange's leaving do at Bill's (not retired
Just moving to a different team). Inspired
Funny chit-chat, and funny incident
I found a hair on my plate that required
A complaint, so I ate more steak, wasn't
Going to say anything, I didn't
Want a fuss, but Helen did, and the price
Was fully refunded! Could not abide
At home forever. No, I had to hunt
For the venue in Whalley Range, delights
Of another mad comedy parade!

3922 - Tue 16 May 17

A fuckin' annoying day. Why? Because
Once again, I've been told I am not good
Enough, when I know I am, so the cause
Is other people, bullshit reasons. Could
They be right, or am I wrong? No, it had
Been wrong the first time, maybe, but no! It
Is clearly wrong. People just average could
Get promotion ahead of me. It's shit!
I was angry after this new verdict
Again I'm told that I'm unfit, a pause
Then I think, hold on, that's not true, I would
Believe it if I was a fool, idiot
But I'm not. No-one thinks I am, but was
That important anyway? No, my lord...

3921 - Mon 15 May 17

A wet day, but it ended really good
Enjoyed acting class number 2 so much
A different guy took it, he supported
Us and I felt more confident, my touch
Returning, emotion easy to reach
With Sarah's help, jointly acting the scene
It was worth getting wet. My socks, they squelched
Trainers vulnerable to puddles, letting in
Water as I walked there and back. No sign
Of Carla. Her set has to be tested
So she'll have gone to open mic to launch
Her prep for So You Think You're Funny, queen
Of the Leicester heat? I'm still unsure. Should
I write new jokes for my heat, or old joke search?

3920 - Sun 14 May 17

Woke up quite late, very dehydrated
Watched TV, chatted with Carla, and thought
I probably wouldn't achieve much, my head
Not at its clearest. Nevertheless, put
Ideas on paper for next Wednesday's spot
At the Whalley Range night I liked so much
Last time I did comedy there - a lot
Of fun, friendly people there, a nice touch
Of variety with the acts, not just
Comedy but song, dance, and all things weird
Also I finished my book that's about
Medieval siege warfare, covering such
A wide swathe of history - even read
Of how Jerusalem crusaders fought...

3919 - Sat 13 May 17

A tense and tiring day with Josephine
No arguments, it's just that she needed
A black skirt for tonight's party. She'd seen
The ones she wanted early on, and tried
Them on, but instead of small, she wanted
Extra small! I found one in that size but
It was a different design. We wandered
In all Manchester clothes shops, while she got
More and more tense, moving at quite a trot
Getting more tired and hot. The final scene
Was her decision to buy one that did
Fit, loosely rather than tightly. I bought
Cheap beer from the Chapel Street shop - just ten
Quid for 4 bottles and cigs. Got wasted!

3918 - Fri 12 May 17

When I got home, I wasn't sure if she
Was in, but she is, and apologised
So that's good, things are back on track, healthy
Just in time for the weekend. Organised
To see Josephine tomorrow and breeze
Round the Manchester shops, catch up on chat
Trying to reign in spending since the Is-
rael trip, where the cost of living knocked flat
My bank account. Think I'll have to resort
To credit card use. I've not recently
Needed them. Some expired, I realised
When fishing them out of my drawer, but that
Ain't a disaster. Laptop? Sainsbury
Sell them for £200, I'm advised

3917 - Thur 11 May 17

Compared to recent days, a relaxing
One with no pressure, day 3 of my course
Union representative for learning
Lots of info I'll need, including laws
And links to websites providing resource
For adult workplace learning to progress
Throughout, me and Steve P exercised jaws
Maybe a new friend! We often discussed
Comedy, so that is a shared interest
Got home early, found Carla still looking
For jobs, I assume, but she got real cross
And went out without speaking. Well I guess
And hope it's not my fault, but her stressing
Over looking for work without much pause

3916 - Wed 10 May 17

The big day of the interview, sunny
So I left off my jacket to keep cool
I even took in trigger notes, slightly
Risky perhaps, but seems it's the new rule
Everyone's doing it these days, so you'll
Agree I did OK, it's not cheating
So many busy nights and days. To chill
Was my aim, to enjoy a fine evening
Which I did by drinking and by playing
On the uke (that's short for ukulele)
One thing I must soon add to my schedule
Is buying a new laptop. This writing
Of daily sonnets on paper will be
A big job to type up. Homework, like school!

3915 - Tue 9 May 17

A very long day. Woke at 6:20
Tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't
Too much goin' on, I guess. Acting, and the
Interview looming. Wrote some bullet point
Trigger notes for it. Then, at 9, I went
To St John's Campus, Manchester College
A big busy place with blue doors, and found
Classroom 221, union learning ed-
ucation, interesting stuff. So tired, veg-
etating, had to power nap. Comedy
Night at King's Arms. Included ad lib rant
As well as jokes and songs, and mock outrage
Tom Short came late. Must go to bed early
Be fresh tomorrow, neat and eloquent

3914 - Mon 8 May 17

A long day, ten hours at work in total
Stayed until 6 because of acting class
(My first). At work, my priority, to fill
In all  the details how I  did each task
Which, in my interview, I could  be asked
About by the panel, Wednesday lunchtime
Back to the acting class, was very fast-
paced, the tutor, Chris, told me not to mime
So much. Acting is not acting, his line
Of advice, slightly surprising, but all
Too obvious. You must believe, try to cast
Yourself as that person, that place, that time
Visualise it as if it was all real
Don't overdo it. Think and feel, then act

3913 - Sun 7 May 17

A sunny day, Comedy Marathon
A 5 minute slot doesn't sound like much
Tried to cram a lot in, though, and I won
A few laughs, always good, but still I fucked
Up, forgetting my 'funky' tune. Yeah, such
A disappointment for a tune that should
Be familiar by now. I couldn't catch
It in my mind while onstage, so I did
An improvised tune that too much sounded
Like the blues one I'd just before that done
Oh well, of myself I'm quite a harsh judge
I admitted I fucked up, couldn't hide
From it. Drank Coke, then fruity cider, then
A bottle of red wine went down the hatch!

3912 - Sat 6 May 17

What a day, a benchmark, a watershed
My first improv, a paying audience
I tried really hard to conserve my head
And body throughout the day. Sat on fence
Dozed in the afternoon, repressed all sense
Followed the football, but lost consciousness
Couldn't believe how well the whole day went
Had a tattoo appointment, quite the best
Way to pass the time, energy regress
Writing on my back, pain on that black bed
In the tattoo parlour. Iceland, Cyprus
And some Czech text, but it worked for  the best
I performed well, improv guys took on board
My musings. KING, SKATEBOARD,
SNAPCHAT. Immense!

3911 - Fri 5 May 17

A sunny windy day, good vibrations
I made advances in my interview
Preparation, realising preparation
Itself is the key, trying to review
How I achieved things, details old and new
I mustn't waste more chances to advance
Meanwhile I had to postpone my tattoo
A second time, but a reduced expense
Promised by the tattooist, recompense
For messing me about. However, some
Good news, though. Acting classes I can do
Starting on Monday evening, to enhance
My stand-up performances yet to come
That's something I am looking forward to!

3910 - Thur 4 May 17

Sick of this sore dick, hope it gets well soon
Nothing serious I hope, perhaps a bug
Caught on holiday, or more likely, an
Irritation from heat, abrasion. Slug
Of mine, best wishes. Though you are a mug
I still love you, like all men love their own
Like a pet attached to themselves, a dog
Is also man's best friend, both like a bone
I look to the day when strength returns home
Meanwhile, Brexit controversy rolls on
Trump's trying to kill Obamacare, dig
Its grave. In Vigo, Man U. have won, 1
Nil, strong favourites in this competition
Local elections, Tories feeling smug?

3909 - Wed 3 May 17

Not especially busy at work - some chat
Although still quite a few emails answered
A phone call, a slight problem about
Next week's promotion interview next Wed
It's in the middle of a course I would
Have liked to concentrate on, and it will
Be difficult to prepare for a good
Interview. They're always a real ordeal
Most of the team are out tomorrow. I'll
Be able to focus and to block out
Everything else, to think of the absurd
Charade, trying to impress the panel
As if it was The Voice, talent show that
Should be about real talent uncovered

3908 - Tue 2 May 17

Woke up early, around half six, and went
Into work by half seven, which was good
Caught up with all emails, and at the end
Of a long day, an interview offered
Promotion to a job that could be hard
But it's Policy, something I've done well
Since '98, so why be so worried
I'm still improving my interview skills
And only getting more interviews will
Make me improve enough to be decent
At it and get promotion like I should
Practised my uke and now it's time to chill
Maybe some reading or TV, or send
An email or two, then relax in bed

3907 - Mon 1 May 17

I feel quite tired and jaded, but I've got
A gig tonight, should be all right, despite
My weariness, I've rehearsed it a lot
Some new stuff, may as well try it tonight
At the Robin Hood, Stretford, with Tom Short
Compering. First time there since February
Expect to see old and new faces caught
In the spotlight. Hope the Bank Holiday
Last few hours before work restarts, and we
Have to return to offices. Does not
Put off the punters from a laugh and pint
Quite a few nights this week of comedy
Chances for my foot in my mouth to put
You gotta plumb some depths to reach the heights

3906 - Sun 30 April 17

Went out for lunch at the Steak & Lobster
Near the Free Trade Hall just off Peter Street
In a historic part of Manchester
I had lobster, first time ever. Was quite
Tricky cracking open the claws, but I'd
Got the hang of it in a few minutes
Another trick was scraping out the meat
After this, went to the pub where we sat
And N decided pickled eggs were what
She wanted. Went from pub to pub, and there
They were, in the Smithfield, garlicky treat
Was even tempted myself. Chelsea hit
Everton for three. They'll be top this year
And Spurs finish above Arsenal! That's rare!

3905 - Sat 29 April 17

A lovely day with Jo, first since return
From Israel, we ate at Wahaca in
The Corn Exchange, talked of holidays in
August, Barcelona the favourite one
For maybe 3 days. Better get booking
Or at least looking. As usual, good chat
Bumped into Nancy there, in Chinatown
But they were out of natto beans - oh drat!
On the train back, Trudi and John we met
Tania collected Jo, I got the train
Back to Manchester. Now I'm listening
To 60s Peace and Love tracks while I wait
For spin cycle to end. Oh, now it's done
Hang it out. My uke's ready for playin'...

3904 - Fri 28 April 17

Recovering from that late flight home last night
But rose quite early, watched Kyle, and I got
A few gig requests in. Admit, was quite
Proud of myself for bothering to do that
And got one for this Monday from Tom Short
Stocked up on food, washed clothes, back in the groove
Played uke in the evening, played really great
Even though fairly pissed, my fingers moved
Carla's in Italy, she hasn't proved
Herself yet in job interviews, a slight
Problem affecting her confidence. What
A long while since Caffe Nero, removed
From earned income two months now, but she liked
My invite to help me set up  a night!

3903 - Israel Day 8

I'm sitting in Ben Gurion Airport lounge
Halfway through a four-hour wait for the plane
Set my alarm for 5a.m. to scrounge
A lift to Masada from a man, Dan
From Switzerland, though he lives in London
In his hired car he drove at speed toward
The hilltop fortress to be reached by dawn
Took pics, shot two videos - what a reward
For picking that hostel in Arad! Good
Wi-fi strength too. Since then, waited around
In Arad and in Be'ersheva stations
And now in the airport. I bought some food
And duty-free chocolates with my last mound
Of shekels, all spent, so no wastage - none!

Thur 27 April 17

3902 - Israel Day 7

Another busy day, last full day here
In Israel, starting in Jerusalem
Early morning trip to the Dome of  the
Rock, the famous mosque I just had to come
And see. Then buses galore, leaving from
Central Bus Station for Be'ersheva and
From there to Arad. Checked in, then I zoomed
By bus to Ein Bokek for Dead Sea sand
And salty water. I floated as planned
Even filming a video on water
Was worried that I was getting sun-burned
So left after an hour or so, returned
To the hostel. Some good chats and a beer
Up early tomorrow, so see you then!

Wed 26 April 17

3901 - Israel Day 6

Day in the city of Jerusalem
Multi-ethnic, religious, everything
Began with coffee and pastries, and then
A guided tour, descriptions interesting
Christian, Armenian, Jewish, Muslim things
Old walls, churches, synagogues and temples
Stood at the Wailing Wall, but not knowing
What to pray about. Later, climbed the Hill
(Mount) of Olives, proved to be time spent well
Then to Mount Zion, and King David's tomb
Surrounded by Orthodox Jews praying
Reading, singing, dancing. But not quite all
Still had to record a video again
Up on the hostel roof, the light fading...

Tue 25 April 17

3900 - Israel Day 5

An early rise. I shared a room with Grant
A friendly American film-maker
And keen photographer. Talked to him, and
Stephanie from Australia. We had a
Long chat, sat in the kitchen for 4 hours
In the fine Fauzi Azar Inn, it's in
Nazareth, the site of some holy powers
Displayed, the Annunciation for one
Visited the church today where 'twas done
And Nazareth Village, with actors who meant
To show the first century lifestyle to the
Tourists. Grant paid my fee - what a great man!
Caught the bus to Jerusalem, now I can't
Get wi-fi or make calls - what a shocker!

Mon 24 April 17

3899 - Israel Day 4

Oh so close to disaster this morning
Left Momo's, caught a bus to the station
As the security man checked my things
I realised I had left behind my phone
Got a bus back again, retrieved it! On
A bus once more, and still I caught the 9
a.m. departure, going to Nazareth
Where shops are shut on Sundays - it's Christian
Tradition here. Do Arabs observe both
Fridays and Sundays, are there two sabbaths?
Most Arab shops were shut too, so walking
Around the town today, wasn't heaving
With people. I'm sunburned, I've had enough
Heat! Bought a nice sandwich as I walked round

Sun 23 April 17

3898 - Israel Day 3

A tiring day. The heat is so hot that
Even an Israeli thinks it's too hot
The day was dominated by the task
Of shooting my song video. Did three strolls
In the end. One central one near the boats
Overlooking the beach. Was so nervous
Then walked for miles to find somewhere remote
Found a deserted hill which I felt was
OK to run through the song, but of course
I forgot one of the lines - what a prat!!!
But did it. It was better, still a lot
Of room for improvement. Sunbathed, then chose
The hostel balcony for Take 3, sat
On the floor, and once more, lyrics forgot!!!

Sat 22 April 17

3897 - Israel Day 2

Despite my late arrival, rose early
For my first full day here in Israel
Woke at 7 and tried the Israeli
Breakfast. Fried eggs were nice, but salad hell
First task, to get cheap clothes at the Carmel
Market, then explored the artisans' stalls
Went up Shalom Tower, the view was real
Cool. Then, Neve Tzedek, suburb where all
Began, up Eilat Street to Jaffa. Call
From the minaret heard. Now saw the sea
And the white beach close up. Walked for a mile
Back up  to Tel Aviv, a brief paddle
And a good sunbathe. I now feel sleepy
Might try to rest, rehearse my song. We'll see!

Fri 21 April 17

3896 - Israel Day 1

I made it despite the plane being late
To Momo's Hostel, Central Tel Aviv
Just made the train, then caught a bus, went straight
To the right place. Luck's in, and what's more, with
A song I hope to do in a cool vid
Music and comedy combined. I hope
I can get helpers tomorrow. They're hid
God knows where, maybe on the beachy slope
The bars will close tomorrow, so I'll hop
Across the street to tourist info, get
A map, tour the town while I can, amid
The warm sunny vibes, get lyrics for pop
Song, then do it. I could delay til Sat
Things have begun well here in Tel Aviv!

Thur 20 April 17

3895 - Wed 19 April 17

My last full day in the UK, because
Tomorrow I fly off to Israel
What an exciting location! To cross
For the first time into Asia, a real
Melange of history, politics - a thrill
This really is a trip with a difference
Even more so than when in Istanbul
The one thing I don't expect is romance
But anything else could happen, a chance
For some great memories and experiences
Will I be able to video? Time will tell
Could it be these videos will win me fans?
Maybe not yet, but I'll try to fulfil
The opportunity this trip could spell

3894 - Tue 18 April 17

Pub quiz tonight at the Railway Inn in
West Didsbury, a short tram ride away
Recent quizzes haven't seen much winning
Could  be my last night before I'm away
To Israel, and tomorrow's my last day
In the office. Today took  the long walk
To the barber's, haircut for holiday
Sunny but chilly, coat zipped as I stalked
Along, my uncut hair like a big cork
Sticking out too far, but, when returning
From the barber's, neater-looking, OK
But more boring than hoped for. Maybe chalk
Colours can liven it up, videoing
On my mind. Looking cool, necessity

3893 - Mon 17 April 17

Again not done much for this holiday
Mainly at home. At least it didn't rain
Went for a walk to Tesco's, Salford Quays
I wonder what happened to Morrisons?
There's a hotel there now. Bought quiche lorraine
And paninis. I've not been inactive
While sitting at home. The main thing I've done
Finished a book started yesterday eve
A great read about Don Quixote. I've
Read that many years ago. Memories
Also stirred of Castile, La Mancha plain
Toledo, Salamanca, where my drive
Of 2009 took me. Next - Nice,
France, is the subject of reading to come

3892 - Sun 16 April 17

Not done much today, was disappointed
No proper Easter films 'bout Jesus' life
What gives? With all the channels we are fed
There's nowt about the Saviour's toil and strife
It makes me very CROSS. I'm not the type
To get all religious, pray and whatnot
But Jesus' story, though it may be hype
Is still good for a watch if you  are not
Doing anything special. What a plot!
Went out for a walk, cos I was bor-ed
Bought two books for my trip, now can I read
The two I bought yesterday, before that?
No, don't think so. No time left, I'm afraid
Got an Arabic language book, I have

3891 - Sat 15 April 17

Oops, in yesterday's sonnet, talked about
Today's activity, in Liverpool
With Jo, on the train. Quite windy, not wet
Sunny at times. Albert Dock was too full
No tables available, had to pull
Out and head back to the main shops, to Cote
Brasserie - yes, there's one in Liverpool
Though no set menu, food still a delight
I had chicken, Jo had steak, which she liked
We walked to Mathew Street, a few minutes
Down in the new Cavern Club, which was cool
For Jo to see - well actually, quite hot!!
And that was that, soft lad! Yes that was that!
Won't see Jo til my return from Israel...

3890 - Fri 14 April 17

Somehow forgot to write this piece last night
I was obsessed with finishing a book
The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes, a right
Rivettin' read, humour that can't be spoke
I did it, and today I bought new books
To take with me to Israel, both travel
Accounts, of Spain, and Nice, France, where I've looked
Already, or would like to. A young girl
From the UK's been stabbed, her blood was spilled
She's dead, aged 20, Jerusalem's blight
Has claimed a traveller, days before my booked
Flight to Ben Gurion Airport, Israel
Today went to Liverpool with Jo. Quite
Tired, but we enjoyed our food, and our walk

3889 - Thur 13 April 17

Approximately half a day's work done
Combined with obtaining my new passport
Had two nice walks round Liverpool. I've come
To the Passport Office. Mustn't get caught
Out at the fussy Israeli airport
With an almost expired passport, and stopped
From going any further. Also put
In a promotion application. Popped
It through the Jobs Portal, then could  have shopped
In Scouse City, but didn't. Did have fun
Taking a few pix, and one video shot
Outside the Catholic cathedral, topped
By its crown-like tower, lit by the sun
Will pop that on YouTube 'fore I forget!

3888 - Wed 12 April 17

Mixture of rain followed by some sunshine
Avoided getting wet at least. Surprise!
Carla's got a uke, it looks just like  mine
And for now she's obsessed - I hear her tries
At playing in her room, occasional cries
Of frustration, but she seems determined
To not give up. Practise! That's my advice
And on she goes, no desire to unwind
She has free time to get fingers aligned
With frets and chord shapes to make sounds so fine
I had a play myself to the soul guys
And girls, some funky grooves that I'm inclined
To listen to, even dance to, while I'm
Playing along. Ukuleles are nice!!!

3887 - Tue 11 April 17

I was tired today, following last night's
Pub quiz in Levenshulme, the bus ride to
Piccadilly, the walk home, and a slight
Drink, then bed, then waking up at ten to
Seven, early to work, where I set to
Filling in a passport application
Form, then prepared the team meeting, held to
Discuss a high-level plan - that was done
I popped to Holland and Barrett, bought some
Aloe vera drink, and some coconut
Flakes. After work I dozed at home a few
Minutes, cooked tea, then wrote new stuff I've done
At the King's Arms, some laughs, yes it was quite
Successful, if shambolic. 'Night to you!

3886 - Mon 10 April 17

A trip out to Levenshulme this evening
For a pop quiz / pub quiz, and we came third
The outward journey needed some spending
Though the train to Stockport was free, I hired
A cab, costing seven quid, on my guard
Against being late, I didn't want that
The early questions, we couldn't afford
To get them wrong, and we did well, but not
So good on the newer stuff - bunch of twats
Especially the 2005 things
Bus home, the old 192, could get hurt
On that bus through Longsight, but no, it's got
Me to town in one piece. Not complaining
Walked home, there I am now, writing these words

3885 - Sun 9 April 17

Sunny to start with, but turning windy
And cooler. Went out shopping, bought stickers
For my ukulele - it's a daisy
Felt sticker, it'll make 3D pictures
On the uke, liven it up, cause snickers
Of laughter from the crowds during a set
Germinate chuckles from humour pickers
Maybe I'll win fans from the hippie set
Today worked on my Israel ideas, got
Some old song lyrics, and creatively
Changed to suit the location of videos
Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Nazareth
The Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea
Next, it's time for ukulele practice

3884 - Sat 8 April 17

A lovely sunny day up in Glasgow
Where I went with Louis to  watch Celtic
Scenic train journey, Lake District and Low-
lands of Scotland, very atmospheric
As it was at Parkhead, bouncing, singing
Nearly-crowned champions, the green and white
Hordes turned out in force, it was so  hectic
The opponents, Kilmarnock, blue and white
Everyone good-humoured, no need to  fight
Lots of English fans travelled there beside
Us, mainly Irish-descended. They go
There from Manchester, Birmingham, with drink
Aplenty, party spirit, lager flow
Sure enough, the train home saw someone sick!

3883 - Fri 7 April 17

A cloudy morning,sunny afternoon
Looking forward to tomorrow - a trip
By train to Glasgow, see Celtic at home
They're playing against Kilmarnock, won't slip
Against them, surely? I have done my prep
And I know Celtic won the League, may bring
The nearly-won trophy, and take some steps
Around the pitch, showing it off, lifting
It up to the bright sunlight, reflecting
And flashing in our eyes as they walk round
Going with Louis, time for a catch-up
As we head north. Like the old days, driving
All over the country to football grounds
No car anymore, but this is more cheap

3882 - Thur 6 April 17

Trump is getting macho on Syria
But what can he do? Putin is harder
Determined to protect his area
Can't see the Yanks sending their army there
Hope the UK don't get sucked in no more
We can't return to a colonial war
These countries are independent from the
West. Meanwhile, Brexit's still the theme round here
UKIP seems on the wane, Corbyn's Labour
Unelectable, kind to foreigner
No matter what economies require
Or educational shortfalls for doctor
And nurse, teachers quitting, folk on welfare
Tension between global trade and culture

3881 - Wed 5 April 17

Back home after a night out with the guys
Meal at Cote Brasserie, full three courses
Then a few pints at Thomas' Chop House
Good catch-up, fairly drunk, but not quite pissed
Because of the food, and that's good, I guess!
I feel able to go to bed shortly
Instead of a weeknight of drunkenness
And staying up too late. And as for me
I told N everything, good, bad, ugly
Sometimes it's good to level, no disguise
There aren't many people I tell my biz
I'll have a swig of juice, then I'll quickly
Hop into bed, but first, must check the scores
Did City win, or are Chelsea the best?

3880 - Tue 4 April 17

So tired, not enough sleep last night, no way
In work by eight, managed to stay til four
Too tired to exercise, needless to say
But bought a new Railcard, back home. Tried more
Purchases by phone, namely, money for
The Israel trip, but it failed. Just couldn't
Make it work. Plan to play uke, but before
That, it's football build-up, the excitement
Of the Premier League, the top division
And the Championship, where Derby will play
Fulham at Pride Park, but it's all over
Too late for Rams to hope for promotion
Barring miracles. Sun's setting. OK -
A fag, maybe, then time for ukelear war!!!

3879 - Mon 3 April 17

I've just eaten a rather large dinner
Lots of peas and carrots, quinoa, pasta
With white fish, smothered in gravy - oh yeah!
Quite tired today, not enough sleep after
Last night's King Gong comedy show at the
Comedy Store. After work I booked a
Tattoo appointment, but it's May. Busier
Than in the past, it seems. A long way for
The tattoos of Cyprus, Iceland, and more
Text, this time in Czech. Next, a cinema
Trip, the film, Get Out, unsettling, similar
To Kill List, which some nights ago I saw
Now it's an early night and that's for sure
Looking forward to bed. Try not to snore!

3878 - Sun 2 Apr 17

Woke up late after last night's drinks at home
Somewhat dehydrated, has to be said
Thinking about my Israel vids my aim
Did that while watching TV, but my head
Was a bit out of it, was affected
And even afflicted! Carla was out
Drinking, apparently, with an old friend
From Caffe Nero days. Meanwhile, I ploughed
Through this Tasteless Jokes book I have just bought
It tired me out. I slept. Carla was goin'
To King Gong to meet Valerio, a good
Italian comedian who does paid spots
In London. I went along, met him. Some
Good chat after the show. I'll delay bed!

3877 - Sat 1 April 17

A rainy morning, sunny afternoon
Walked round town with Jo, Arndale as usual
Meanwhile it turns out that Carla is doin'
A gig somewhere in far-off Chesterfield
When she applied for it, she thought, it's real
Near. Chester... Well OK, it's not THAT near
But it's easier to reach by train, I feel
She rang me from the train - I could appear
There myself, someone had pulled out. I feared
It was too late, too far. I turned it down
It needed a car to get there, and fuel
No more in City Car Club, I'm stuck here
Public transport would not get me there soon
So instead, for a night in I'll settle!

3876 - Fri 31 March 17

Friday night in (least not in outpatients)
I'm getting back in the sobriety swing
After the blip of Wednesday when the drinks
Flowed after my comedy performing
Look what I've done, tonight exercising,
Clothes washing, and playing a mean guitar
Not to mention some creative writing
Eating fish earlier on, now eat some more
Some late night Ryvita with Marmite for
My supper, since tummy's giving hints
That it could do with a top-up, rumbling
When sober. Natural tiredness comes before
You know it, cos you've kept busy, so let's
Celebrate the achievement. Get clapping!!!

3875 - Stand and delivered

Woke up dehydrated in Newcastle
Two awkward pisses in the night while there
Struggling down the bunk ladder, bladder full
Avoiding the bloke below, didn't dare
Turn light on, still drunk, trying to be care-
ful not to injure myself. When day came
I slept til 9:20, then went downstairs
For a much-needed drink to try to tame
The after-effects. Got myself to blame
Had breakfast downstairs at Euro Hostel
Then read til Carla appeared, when dinner
(Or early lunch) was ordered. A nice time
Walking round Newcastle's Quayside, a real
Pleasure in the spring sunshine. Great weather!

Thur 30 March 17

3874 - Taking a Stand

Big day, went to Newcastle, comedy
Show at The Stand, big opportunity
Went with Carla, who was good company
The hostel room was empty, luckily
Allowing me to rehearse properly
Even practising on ukulele
The gig went very well, consequently
Carla videoed it, showed laughs aplenty
Afterwards, hung out in the bar  with the
Local comedians and club staff, had three
No, more like six pints, clowning rapidly
(After clowning rapidly), hee hee hee
It's on YouTube now, if you want to see
Slept on the top bunk, drunk, but happily!!!

Wed 29 March 17

3873 - Tuesday 28 March 17

Full of energy in these days of not
Staying up late, not drinking, being good
The amount I've read really knocks me out
Even on weekend evenings, I have read
A vast amount. Need to, so I get tired
Especially important tonight, because
Tomorrow me and Carla will have sped
Oop North on the train, comedy our cause
In Newcastle we dream of loud applause
Rehearsed again a little, must've got
Most of it off by heart now, but my head
Will constantly be fed with it for hours
On the journey up, minute by minute
My hunger must be for laughter as food!

3872 - Monday 27 March 17

Perhaps the last of this spell of hot days
Showers are forecast, unfortunately
Carla has been out again, she has stayed
Out all last night, and now, where could she be
Hopefully she will turn up presently
I don't see her preparing for The Stand
Now only two nights away, comedy
Night, golden opportunity SHE planned
Back in November, when we applied, and
Yet she's nowhere to be seen. I just played
A mean ukulele, practised the three
Or four quick comedy songs meant to stun
The Newcastle crowd, forcing them to say
Let's get this guy back! He is well crazy!!

3871 - 26 March 17

It's that great spring Sunday when the clocks go
Forward one hour, and evening light extends
Its rays into each corner, when shadow
Is diminished, and optimism spends
Its saved-up hoard. Meanwhile, new hope banks lend
Like crazy, whether we deserve or not
The clouds retreat and coldness goes to ground
T-shirts suffice, even shorts. It seems hot
To sun-starved Brits, rediscovering the plot
Bye bye golden disc, until tomorrow
You're sinking now, tired boy at the day's end
It would be fun down at the Old Pint Pot
Or some pub with somebody, don't know who
But now's the time for ME, and not for friends