3483 - Cheesy date

Watching the OJ Simpson drama now
Then I'll rehearse my comedy a while
Now it's on ITV, the Adverts Show
(It could be called) goes for that extra mile
I've exercised, ironed, and done TEFL
I've played guitar, and almost got some beer
But no, instead I ate, now I'm quite full
Because the spud was big, and I declare
I ate a big slab of Stilton, I saw
It there and couldn't resist it somehow
It's quiet on the dating front, I've trialled
Sending proactive messages out there
But no response, I guess that that is how
The women on there are, not got much style :(

3482 - Tea for three

A very cold evening with a clear sky
But quite a good day, wrote two funny songs
One of them was based on Come Fly With Me
The other on You Were Made For Me, on
The subject of the EU, no less. Fun?
It's hard on that subject, but I still tried
Also did some TEFL, read Unit 10
But still need to do the test, as the time
Meant I had to go to Louis' - a tied
Final, City and Liverpool, but I
Missed the end, out for tea and the Szechuan
Kitchen for a 4 course meal for 10 quid
Drink of milk on way home, nearly ready
For bed, will read a while, then day is done

3481 - Father daughter mother

A fun day with Josephine, chat abounds
As we walked round Old T, Lowry, Arndale
It was too cold to stay outside the ground
She didn't even zip up for a while
It didn't snow but it was very cool
Got Mother's Day stuff for Tania with Jo
Fish and chips at Harry Ramsdens it ruled
Great fish, great batter, great chips, gravy too
Derby lost at Wolves, their season is through
I suspect, but that's not quite as profound
As sorting my own life out, on the trail
Of happiness, fulfilment, the road to
Nirvana. Now home, it's time to make sounds
My feet ache but my fingers want a trial

3480 - Tussles over Brussels

Listening to the Freakbeat Scene CD
While I type this and also watch the news
Excited to see that on the TV
Is an EU in/out debate, let's choose!
I've already chosen out, I say lose
The Brussels bureaucrats, but I still may
Change my mind before the vote, hey, who knows
Don't feel like doing that much - it's Friday
Evening, after all, and I've kept away
From buying booze, so that's good, save money
And just do stuff, like TEFL, but my views
On Brexit are quite strong, and what they say
On this debate may be of interest. We
Can't take this vote easy, complex issues

3479 - It's my life

These days are exciting, non-stop, full on
Not only today, but tonight, it rocks
I'm lucky, still hunger for progression
And it drives me to clamber over rocks
To the conformists, I wish them the pox
I decide what I think and do, not them
And though I'm ageing and losing my looks
What does that matter, as long as my end
Is not yet reached, let's keep on, don't know when
I'll find the goal, or if, but while the sun
Is up there giving warmth, I'll keep my looks
On the inside, even if it offends
I'll live my life to the full, if I can
I'm happy, free to overcome the knocks

3478 - Eat yourself fitter

A fun day at work, coffee at Nero's
I avoided mocha and cream, sugar
I try to cut down on that vice of course
Partly because beer has lots, dammit, beer
But so does wine and spirits, and it's clear
They have more alcohol, and that's not good
I rarely touch them these days. And I fear
My belly is expanding more outward
At least I exercise and walk forwards
And back again from work on my work days
And at the weekend I walk far further
Tonight I walked home, then to town, solid
Man City performance in Kiev, Lou's
Wishes came true, next round beckons, oh yeah

3477 - Searching for the perfect meet

Chatted a bit to J online tonight
After my guitar practice, but of course
Also an invite for this Sunday night
More bubble tea and Chinese grub and sauce
Played quickly 60s and Sparks melodies
And bass and lead parts too, getting real fast
Now, improvising whenever I please
I try to play tricky stuff, I can boast
That I never play the same way twice, cast
The dice each split second, playing that's quite
Impossible to plan or to rehearse
But who is J? She's the first to have chats
With me online, going well, but she's not
Agreed to meet yet cos she's shy, she says!

3476 - EU must be joking

The EU referendum's in the news
Dave Cameron and tousle-haired Boris
Are arguing publicly in the House
B. Johnson's becoming Dave's nemesis
As they've predicted he would be for years
I recall the vote in '75
Just two years after joining, the same fears
But now it's ever-closer union, why've
We gone so far down that road? If we leave
Why not ten years ago or more? Refuse
The Maastricht Treaty? But now, terrorists
And migrants legal and not, have all shoved
Our populace towards anti-status
Late June will certainly provide answers

3475 - Shop of the pops

A partly cloudy, partly rainy day
Out with Jo (who doesn't like being called Jo
Or anything except Josephine, K?)
As usual, Arndale wanderings followed
But thank goodness we stood still, didn't go
Round and round as much as last time, our feet
Benefiting greatly. In Smiths bought two
Travel guides, Malta and Iceland, two treats
Of travel lined up for me - can't be beat
Bought Jo a book, then in Fopps bought her a
Great NME 90s CD, that's so
Full of great 90s stuff, fact it's so neat
I might get one for myself! It's Sunday
Rowntrees was closed, we went to Greggs, hey ho!

3474 - In a class of one

I need a break, I've done 2 TEFL things
Assignment number 3, and Unit 7
Teaching techniques of hearing, listening
Reading and writing, and noting points down
As I learn it all, lesson by lesson
As the 6 month course time draws to a close
I'm speeding up, quickly going through them
May do lesson 8 tomorrow, who knows
But if not then Monday night, I suppose
Will see me back online and studying
It's fun in the computer age to learn
Way back then in my school and uni days
We had to read books, homework handwriting
But now it's videos, typed coursework, more fun

3473 - I'm late, I'm late...

It's Friday night, and tonight, my main task
I set myself was to check the dating
Website, something without glory to bask
In, against my instincts, often shrinking
In horror at the sights thereon, cringing
And thinking we have nothing in common
And when you do send a message, they sting
You by binning it. Must admit though, on
Many occasions already I've done
The same. Oh well, I did it, and I asked
A woman out for coffee - no kidding!
Doesn't really matter if she turns down
This amazing chance, looks like both our luck's
In though, I liked her looks, she mine. Waiting...!!

3472 - Spider's web

Just done some online teacher training. Next
(After this) it's really high time for me
To go to the dating website and check
The profiles of the women who've said they
Would like to meet. They don't look great usually
And are rarely well-educated on
This site. But I paid eighty quid, money
Which will be wasted if no dates get done
And if there are no dangerous liaisons
Some fairly casual relationships ticked
Off and then forgotten, yes that would be
Better than nothing, and of course how can
I hope to find something better if strict
About not using websites, pointlessly?

3471 - Dad's barmy

A short day at work, then watched Dad's Army
(The new film) with Vee. It wasn't that great
As it went on, started to feel sleepy
There weren't many there in Cinema 8
At the Printworks Odeon. Coffee at
Vee's flat, chatted to Louis, took a call
From Tania, Jo's mum. Jo's tonsils can't wait
Much longer, they're being taken out, all
Of a sudden, sooner the better. Pull
Them out, get it over with, Best early
In life than when an adult. She was 8
No, 9 when Pearl had them out, I recall
(In the 90s), it wasn't nice, baby
Poor Jo, it's for the best, don't hesitate

3470 - It's Only Words

A good Worst Comedy Night in Salford
Great audience members eating, drinking wine
That made the difference, I could do my worst
And they laughed, no, nobody there did whine
I didn't wear sunglasses, make me blind
It helped that the songs were simple and I
Had done them before, not the Pistols, mind
I Fucked The Queen was new but quite easy
I was asked to do encores, quite frequently
This happens and I'm caught out, but the words
Came back eventually to my mind
And ten minutes up there, it seemed to fly
I still get nervous though, but saved by forward
Planning, rehearsal and all that, it's fine!

3469 - What is in, what is out

I've eaten lots of meat these last few days!
Saturday with Jo, Macdonalds chicken
Sunday with Vee, a big curry that stays
In your system for a day, then mayhem
In your backside, like fireworks, here they come!
Today, Monday, a chicken slice for lunch
(And tomorrow), and chicken in breadcrumbs
(Three pieces) for tea! Stomach, please expunge
Your contents quick, I don't want to be hunched
In discomfort too long, just a short phase
Of digestion, and then it will be gone
I don't buy snacks though - don't come to the crunch
And I'll go back to my normal size, weighs
That are OK for my age once again

3468 - Fight to the death

At home on Sunday, but soon will go out
To watch the vital City game with Lou
Against Spurs, Leicester drawing, so it counts
As a title-winning contest, it's true
Any of these three could win, the light blue
The dark blue or the white team. I have not
So far done my TEFL assignment two
I'm now thinking I'll do it tonight but
Will I have the energy? And must write
Down a comedy routine, cause a riot
On Tuesday night (again!) - Oh wow, would you
Believe it, Arsenal have won it right
At the last moment, still a four-way bout
Between these teams then. Football ballyhoo

3467 - Foot and mouth ball

Match of the Day has started, must finish
This sonnet quickly, so I can watch it
Walked so far with Jo today, our feet itched
And ached, we grew tired, and felt like shit
I know United lost, and Jo felt it
But I had the same, Derby lost to one
Of the weakest teams, MK Dons, will sit
Out the rest of the season, we've not won
Promotion, it seems, thrown away again
Two years in a row, our fans diminished
The best fans in the second tier, we're hit
Again, held up to ridicule by men
At clubs like Hull and Brighton, so I wish
For once we got what we deserve, dammit!

3466 - The Hacienda must be smelt

It's nearly 1 am but that's early
When you consider the Hacienda
Is where I've been, recreated in the
Bridgewater Hall's venerable arena
Loud voices, mobile phones, and even a
Whiff of weed in the air, incongruous
And then some, went with Vee, part nostalgia
Part curiosity, was humongous
In its surreality, humorous
And peculiar, certainly, certainly
Enjoyed chips and gravy in the centre
Of town, then back home, looked at pics of us
Think it looks OK, good enough for me
Now to get to bed and warm up in there

3465 - Soul is love

My eyes are hurting, not surprisingly
I've hit the guitar hard, played for two hours
Or more, that's after watching DVDs
The last two of five covering the news
And the music of the 70s, our
Memories, often film footage that's new
Well, old, but I have not seen it before
And then fortunately after a few
Beers, I hit the guitar, and had to do
That era, the most diverse era we
Have known, the mature golden age, the flowers
Of the 60s generation, those who
Were born in wartime, formed philosophies
And sounds we all love, far better than ours

3464 - Pancake bar blues

I'll get this done quick cos I don't feel great
And I've been out in the cold night and need
A warm bed where I can recuperate
And reheat. Out straight after work to feed
With N, but at first kept tasting defeat
Rather than food, the pancake bar would not
Serve pancakes, would you believe? Relocate
To Rice in Picc Gardens and ate some hot
Spicy Malaysian chicken, and her mate
T turned up too. To Gullivers, a wait
Of half an hour, drinking cordial, indeed
I was off the beer tonight, may have caught
The bug going round, will it incubate
And will a full-sized cold grow from this seed?

3463 - Open wide

Cooking chicken legs in the oven that
Were price reduced, it is their sell-by date
There's quite a few for two quid, could get fat
But it will be a treat once it's all ate
Shortly I'll put the mushrooms on and wait
Another few minutes til it's ready
Got peas and carrots too for my white plate
It'll soon be on my lap and the key
To keepin' it together handily
So I can shovel it in just like that
The smell is driftin' from the kitchen, hate
The time it takes to heat, but it's true we
Love the anticipation, getting hot
In the oven and in my mind, love bait

3462 - Some things aren't funny

My mate who was with me last night replied
To my late night online apology
For nearly causing a ruckus last night
The reply this evening has settled me
Down and made me feel better, thanks, matey
I was worried that from now I'd be shunned
Because the reply was slow, not speedy
But then he is a rather busy man
I've gained some comedy inspiration
If people love to attack, and yes I'd
Be one of them, attack your own, GB
Not other groups or cultures. That function
Of comedy's accepted and valid
That way I can attack, but more safely

3461 - Get over it

A good day and evening on the whole, but
Ruined at the end by an argument
In Mulligans Irish bar, where I've supped
Many times with people and Irish friends
But because I joked and I gave offence
It seems that in that bar, you can't do that
What's happened to the open mindedness
In this era of peace, why are they hot-
Blooded and violent in defence of nat-
ionalism, something the Brits forgot
And have been trained to gradually reject
Why is it OK for them to support
Ultra-defensiveness, permit a threat
To critics, albeit joking? I dissent.

3460 - Guitar superstar

A very busy Saturday at home
Didn't see Jo, she's en vacances en France
So had some spare time. Unusually, I roamed
Twice without spending at all! Had a chance
At last to go to PMT to glance
At guitar-leles, but they just weren't good
Not mini-guitars like I thought, just fanc-
y 6 string ukes with weedy strings that would
Not create any power. Need more wood
I guess to resound, reverberate, chime
So sadly I called it a day, but hands
First tried out a twelve-string guitar, imbued
With jangliness, ukes and mandolins strummed
Making me the North West's best one man band!

3459 - Tired of being tired

A terrible night's sleep, wankers below
Got up noisily, 4:15 a.m.
Put shoes on, talked loudly for ages, so
Disturbed I couldn't doze off once again
Until, well I don't know, nearing seven
But one hour later, even noisier
Outside my window, return of workmen
Good news if they're actually now prepared
To do the structural improvements where
They're needed. Oh noisy workmen, please do
Repair my balcony, for since Novem-
ber, scaffolding's been in front, but nowhere
To be seen are your promised repairs. Slow
Is not the word. Glacial, maybe, for them.........

3458 - Time won't give me time

Played guitar for 2 hours and spoke to Jo
Did exercises and some ironing
Run out of time again for TEFL though
I'll have more time this weekend for learning
About my future task that is teaching
I'll also buy a guitar-lele and
Collect Jo's present from Claire that's lying
In the postal depot in Salford land
I rang Josie because tomorrow's plans
For her are the start of a school trip to
France and Germany, and even finding
Time to pop into that there Switzerland
All just for the weekend! She's been laid low
I hope her tonsillitis is healing!

3457 - An ideal for living

Quick sonnet while I listen to music
The sound of Dennis Wilson, ocean blue
Soothing sounds as I let the day dissect
Tomorrow, resurrect things like you do
Or they resurrect themselves over you
Can't escape the cage, the trial, the bullshit
It's all fixed, decided, no room for new
Keep things as they are, the conservative
Mantra, it's something idealists can't lick
Best to give in maybe, but that's just sick
And weak, I know I'm happier when still true
I find it hard to lie, just doesn't stick
Would make me stressed trying to play that trick
Screw that, I'll do it my way, I have to

3456 - Red Snow

An unexpected day off, Josie ill
With tonsillitis, but the medicine
She started last night's helping her get well
I looked after her today, we stayed in
Watching TV and eating, mainly, then
We went to watch Manchester United
Play Stoke. Near the away fans, heard their fun
Singing, and the United replies did
Amuse us too. Although it was so cold
It snowed a few times, we kept dry and full
Of excitement, as The Reds ruled the wing
And crossed dangerously, scoring three goals
Two at our end, in the first half. A cool
Birthday present then for Jo. Yes. Get in!

3455 - Is this face bothered?

A nice weekend with Josie and Louis
But going back to work was a downer
At least I got a few things done quickly
While others chatted as without a care
It's the kind of thing makes you think karma
Should exist, if it doesn't actually
I take so much crap but I get stronger
You can't grind me down, people, no, not me
Because I just don't care enough, maybe
I'm mad, but I'm happy, can barely see
The need for a proper partner, though the
Conventional people try to force me
Not til someone is on my frequency
Til then my path is free as a loner