4632 - TB phone home

Two nights of not enough sleep, but still done
Plenty at work and at home. At work I
Found the wi-fi much better than at home
And so I used the strong office wi-fi
To upload loads of old videos quickly
From Nice, Israel, Romania and Scotland
Even a comedy routine, but tried
And failed with the longer length performance
Have asked Tom what to do... I'm in his hands
Hope he replies. Tomorrow, Instagram
Workshop at Home, First Street, seven quid, try
To learn how to use it, improve my chance
To publicise my show at the Fringe when
I'm there in August. Why not? Why not? Why?

4631 - Music at the speed of thought

Struggling a little with Dropbox but most
Of my stuff's on there now from years ago
All done yesterday, now it took me loads
Of time to drop a two minute video
Into Dropbox, an hour in fact, so slow
As it is with photos, unless you can
Drag them from other files, then it is oh
So easy and quick. Now my phone it can't
Upload any more videos. Why not, man?
Too tired to do much else tonight, I'm just
Listening to music, sent Helen one now
Might play uke in a while, makes my mind run
Like no other activity, get lost
In superfast thought. But too tired, so no

4630 - Pictures of Silly

Hard day at home, Josephine cancelled our
Day out in town cos she's too tired, so I
Have put all my stuff on Dropbox, from the
Sound files from Pinhole Studios of my
Songs for the Fringe show, fresh in my mind's eye
To old snapshots from years, even decades
Ago in some cases, all now put by
Safely on the Dropbox website! Time fades
The memory til you see photos in spades
So many, and when I still had dark hair
Or when my kids were little, tears were dry
And smiles made up of tiny teeth were wide
Now I think I'll play uke for the next hour
Then maybe a beer, settle down nicely

4629 - Scrub a dub dub

A little bit jaded, last night, drank some
And why not - when out Thursday, just drank coke
No hangover and no dehydration
So played uke, had a drink and had a smoke
Played ska anthems, listened to Killing Joke
Went to bed at some point and slept quite well
This morning, cleaned the flat, having a poke
Into dusty corners, shave, shower, all
So far done in the nude. What if Chan called
In unexpectedly? She'd see my bum
That's what, stuck in the air, which could provoke
Her into martial arts mood. She's spent all
The last three evenings in the local gym
A fight with her, no thanks, she'd leave me broke

4628 - Come beer, there's more...

Not much happenin' today, although I did
Choose a hotel in Milan, me and Jo
Will stay end of June for a little bit
Well, six days in total, and I've spent so
Much on this trip, despite my having no
Money because of Edinburgh. I
Am chasing Charles up for an invoice. Know
I've not had it sent before, but for my
Tax deductibles, and cos the cost's high
I'll really need it. It will help offset
Any income tax I pay. Managed to
Do my abs routine on the mat, apply
Some discipline before I flip the lid
Off that beer bottle and I taste its flow

4627 - The foggy bucket

One day late, here's my Thursday diary
Some showers, good to see some falling rain
We may need the water, come June, July
Kept forgetting, it's Justyna again
More comedy acts we were enjoyin'
Our second trip to the Frog and Bucket
I struggled at first with bearings, the strain
Of finding my way to the bar, seemed it
Was like crossing the Pacific by boat
Using oars, blindfold. I managed to buy
Two cokes OK though, and even return
To the right table without spillage. What
An achievement! Comedians couldn't see
Us, too far back, and safe from their disdain!

Thur 25 Apr

4626 - Here he comes again

Good day at work, sorted out Fringe stuff, and
Also flights to Milan, late June, July
Back home, did abs exercises, and planned
My posters and flyers, it looks like I
Am well on track! Lake Como is nearby
Milan, I'll look into somewhere to stay
Soon enough. Ate quorn mince, then beer, bye bye
Worries and regrets, things are on their way
Momentum is building for my Fringe stay
This year cannot be wasted, here I stand
I know I can do it, and by and by
Time will tell, and I'll finally find my way
It's just a shame I'm alone in my plan
But that's life, that is its reality

4625 - Night moves

So tired, was tired all night, then worked all day
Didn't get much sleep, torturing myself
With stupid thoughts, yet had to let them play
Through to some conclusion, for mental health
Reasons. You can't just store it on the shelf
Or shove it under a giant carpet
Scrape it out, let it blow around, dissolve
Into dust particles that can't be caught
Straight away, little thoughts in silhouette
Spiralling slowly round and down as they
Repeat their moves after the stroke of twelve
Backlit not by the sun but the moon, set
To torment you for hours. And yet it may
Be a way of recovery by stealth

4624 - Lazing on a Monday afternoon

The last of four sunny days this Easter
My only chance to sunbathe - I took it
Around lunchtime lasting over an hour
Hope I topped up my tan outside the flat
Listening to music, even the odd hit
From The Clash and AC/DC, and then
Flight of the Conchords live. Shopped and then ate
But put off my website development
I need to do that this evening - accounts
On Twitter, Instagram and Facebook are
All needed for Fringe brochure and website
Must motivate myself to set up them
I did abs exercises on the floor
A Yorkie Easter egg, fattening chocolate

4623 - Last Tango in Ancoats

A hot sunny day, just like Morocco
(But more humid). Sunbathing not needed
Because I'm still peeling, not set to go
Tanning just yet. Besides, I visited
Vee and Louis, on foot, benefited
From plenty of the sun's rays on the way
Watched footy, talked politics, debated
The state of our schools in austerity
Before I went out I started to play
Last Tango in Paris, Marlon Brando
And Maria Schneider, which really did
Make waves in the early 70s, grey
Shades, not really, more shocking, long ago
I'll watch the last hour next, then time for bed

4622 - On the lamb

A few late night Stellas, deserved reward
For my studio endeavours yesterday
Then bed, then this morning had to applaud
The In Betweeners, series three. Today
I watched it all, and in between, away
To town, see Jo, and enjoy the sunshine
Expensive lunch at Mowgli, a curry
And lovely lamb chops. The fat tasted fine...!
Won't need dinner tonight, stomach's well lined
Sat in the sun in St Peter's Square, warmed
Up nicely, sat outside Nero's with J
And talked In Betweeners' funniest lines
She caught the tram, and home alone I walked
(Although Chan's here!). So far, Easter's OK!

4621 - A very Good Friday

Slept well, woke 8:15, fresh and ready
For my big day at Pinhole Studio
On the way Helen said she'd be late, see
Me later, but, poor thing, too ill and low
To make it, so I'm on my ownio
Couldn't find the place, walking in circles
But got there, up about five floors. You know
What? It went well, me and Adam. Vocals
Keyboards, uke, percussion with some drum fills
Seven tracks, some short, some long. The Bony
Tony Theme, a dance track - The Worm Disco
Swimming On The Floor, then two short jingles
Life Is A Shopping List, Bony Tony
Instrumental version to close the show

Fri 19 April

4620 - The weekend really does start here

Early finish at work, then lunch with my
Old colleagues, thanks Emma, and good to see
Farah and Suni in The Scene, but I
Was shocked to see it so very busy
It's doing well after a slow start. We
Had thali, as usual, I had a pint
They say Easter weekend will be sunny
Tomorrow I'll be holed up, out of sight
In Pinhole Studio, Ancoats. Helen might
Turn up and help, might be late, don't know why
But it's up to me to successfully
See this music for my Fringe show goes right
Taking it easy tonight, got Quorn pie
Eat, relax. Tomorrow, must be ready...

4619 - Game on

I'm listening to an amazing game on
The radio, Man City v Tottenham
In the Champions League, quarter final, in
The second leg at the Etihad, aim
Up Ashton New Road for the stadium
I've played some dashed good uke, first, the Banshees
Then Deep Purple, then Yes, then the Doors, Jim
And the gang, smoked three fags, but I'm now seized
With the desire for more, still got two beers
Left, and this match is exciting. I've gone
Through today on a high, I've felt so warm
Last night was so good, the birds and the bees
Wouldn't know what was goin' on, I'm stunned
All I can say is wham bam thank you ma'am

4618 - Justyna the nick of time

What a great evening out that was last night
With Justyna, to XS Malarkey
In the street beforehand we set alight
And it was all good then, reminded me
Of mad times in the eighties. At front, we
Sat at a table, and she was talked to
By Toby H the MC. Now sure how, to see
Three of the four acts again, deja vu
Delightful Sausage, Lindsey Davies, who
Justyna denied seeing before, then right
At the end, Sophie Willan. Only the
Opener, Josh Pugh, seemed like he was new
As in, I'd not seen him before. Polite
Way of saying it, we had fun, did we?...

Tue 16 April

4617 - Burning the midnight oil

I'm staying up quite late, uploading pix
From my phone to Facebook, and later on
This week, I'll copy them all, and the vids
To my computer files, back-up from phone
To the net and my laptop. Vids take an
Age to upload! Forgot I'd filmed that much!
Before this, I played uke like a madman
'This is the Beatles' playlist at my touch
Then two Doors tracks, Jim Morrison and such
Meanwhile, Notre Dame caught fire, it's in bits
The roof's burned through, and all the wood is gone
It's just a stone skeleton now, it looks
Eerie and gaunt in the night as flames lick
Their final spiteful tongues around the stone

4616 - Fringe benefit

An efficient day's work at home! Today
I set up the Bony Productions site
On Go Daddy, it's live and you can see
My logo and my Fringe show dates, all right!
That was the main achievement. Conquering fright
Of tech things generally, and laziness
I'm on a roll. Next, a new Twitter site
Linked to it, which I'll use as The Fringe nears
Ordered new white tee shirts, Tee Shirt Xpress
Since the pink stains on it won't go away!
Booked an electrician to fix the light
In the bathroom. Chan will be pleased, oh yes!
Washed myself and bed sheets, skin flakes at bay
(From my peeling skin!). Washed, ironed, ate right...

4615 - Tram, Pauline?

A cold but sunny day, a fine morning
Contacting friends, making plans, feeling fine
Played uke again, it's hard now avoiding
Getting my hands on the uke, want to climb
As high as I can as the studio time
Draws near - it's next Friday - and then I met
Jo at Deansgate tram station. Then we dined
At Beastro - that tall waitress seemed to let
Me know she remembered us, and we ate
A big breakfast, then continued walking
To my flat, watched The In-Betweeners, I'm
Now familiar, albeit ten years late
With series one, first three episodes. In
A pile are series two and three aligned

4614 - Head, hands and feet

So tired but still I had a useful day
At work, then when home played ukulele
Devastatingly, starting with Roxy
Then Queen, Sparks and Smiths, played incredibly
Well, endorphins released, moving to me
As I play, nodding head and tapping feet
After that, watched a film from Germany
The Edukators, set on Berlin's streets
And then its second half made it complete
Set in Bavarian mountain scenery
Looking down on a lake - the Konigsee?
Dropped off immediately I hit the sheets
Got much-needed rest, and recovery
Was effective, next morning felt OK

Fri 12 April

4613 - Poster haste

A sunny but quite chilly day in spring
I wonder if there'll be a heatwave this
Year? Seems likely, there's usually one within
May or June, but  remember how last year's
Was more prolonged and warmer than it is
Normally. Climate change gives hope for more
Of the same, not that climate change is nice
Really, with its effect on the fauna
And flora of the world, sea temperature
And melting ice, to name some of the sting
In the tail it's bringing. Called by the guys
From Out of Hand, about my Fringe poster
And flyer design, but it's now costing
Another load for the design service :(

4612 - Plonky reggae party

Played uke to some reggae this evening, I'm
Getting good at it now, yeah, rastaman
The evening's gone so fast, had little time
To do much, it seems. Bought some new headphones
On way home, listened to music, and then
Uke bashing, rubbing, scrubbing and dubbing
Also had a shave, shower, rubbed off skin
From last week's great Morocco sunbathing
The back was done in a day, now peeling
Helen not confirmed Crete and its Med clime
Yet. We're both short of funds and leave, and am
Also waiting to hear from the printing
People about my flyers. Must ask Tom
About publicity shots very soon

4611 - Shit went down

First set at Worst Night in Salford in an
Age, went well I thought, with no rehearsal
My 5 minute 'shit' set premiered there, and
I did it well, not memorised at all
So quite pleased. Got a few laughs and a cool
Singalong, even, lots of smiles, but I
Couldn't stand OJ's boring closing bull
Dave Turquoise wasn't there, James was MC
It was half ten by that stage - time to fly
I had just two pints, but I've bought some wine
So I'm knocking that back now, maybe I'll
Get a good night's sleep. Chan's gone once more, by
The way, it's China this time! My headphone
Has packed in. Some old ones are working well!

4610 - Cool by the pool

Lie-in, back to work, felt drained mentally
And a little cold in the warm office
Recovering from the strain of holiday
And fighting off bugs caught in foreign skies
Helen's gone down with a bad cold and she's
On leave today, probably bad all weekend
Today I ordered posters and flyers
For the Fringe, but they are not yet designed
Also last night searched websites trying to find
A quick sunny break in June. Seemed to me
The best choice is Chania in Crete. Beaches
And cheap hotels with pools, just the right kind
Try to get the best tan ever for me
With a cool chick as companion for this

4609 - Fabsolutely Abs

Bit of a lie-in after a session
Last night, listening to prog, watched some football
Chan went out quite early, left all alone
To do what I wanted, so I unrolled
My mat and did my abs routine, then strolled
To the nearby shops. My quest was to find
A worm-like object for my show. Fulfilled
It in TK Maxx. A dog's toy, a kind
Of worm-like snake with which I can dance, wind
It around, even squeak its head when on
Stage at the Fringe, singing 'Worm Disco' - all
The audience should love it! It's now high time
I put stuff on my website - there'll be tunes
But for now, two pictures taken on hol

4608 - A walk to Wahaca and back-a

Ten hours' sleep at least. When I woke I made
Big improvements to my bedroom, I threw
Out that dusty purple carpet and laid
Out my two new Moroccan rugs and now
The room's clean, and I'll now be able to
Keep it clean far easier in the future
Sadly though, my Bony Tony shirts do
Not look good, both are tinged with pink from the
Wash, from my new red tee shirt. Manchester
Piccadilly, met J, who decided
She wanted to go to Liverpool. Blew
50 quid in Wahaca. Visited
The old Queen's Dock offices, flats now. Paid
Quick visit to Mathew Street, loud and crude

6 April

4607 - Bye Bye Jamesy

James' first leaving do, it was OK
We got pissed. Crazy Pedro's, Mulligan's
Waterhouse, The Vine, not sure who has paid
Poor old James got too pissed, I helped him and
Hopefully, he got the Bury tram. Found
It for him, then I walked home no problem
So much to learn, I played my part, and then
I got home alone, with mixed feelings, then
Are not a great bunch, but that is the norm
Some of them haven't got that much to say
In years past I'd have felt bad, but now spend
Little time worrying, let them be them
Me and James hit it off, and I can say
That's enough, I know who are my true friends

5 April

4606 - The spy who came back to the cold

Slept late, adjusted clocks, washed clothes and put
Souvenirs around the flat. Love my new
Rugs from Morocco. Bye bye, the carpet
In the bedroom. Now there'll be red and blue
Rugs in there, African designs! I do
Love my wooden sculpted woman's face on
The living room wall. Incense holder. Two
New fridge magnets, the bigger one upon
The washing machine. I was happy when
I tried on my blue Berber-style jacket
It fits nicely and looks great! Toggles too!!
Made albums from all pictures on my phone
It really drains the battery doing that...
Chan's still in Spain. It's work tomorrow. Boo!!

4 April

4605 - Morocco Day 7

A last day I was kinda dreading, for
It was the end, all taken with travel
And at night times I took a mental tour
Questioning it all, or whether I will
Even do this again, what does she feel
What do I feel, lots of things don't seem right
And then I thought, what about her, her real
Difficulties and problems. She's been great
With me, a great friend, almost a soulmate
And she's never been nasty, even where
I was grumpy. I still don't know her well
Enough, but once I thought again, the state
Of mind improved, I saw it more from her
Side. We had a great last day after all!

3 April

4604 - Morocco Day 6

Last real day of the trip - tomorrow will
Be just travelling by taxi, bus and plane
I was moody at breakfast time, slept ill
And was pissed off the evenings are in vain
But I must be forgiving of Helen
She's on a different body clock from me
And gets wiped out by evening, she is drained
A lot of people are the same, really
A poor visit to Agadir's souk, the
Idiot taxi driver thought he could milk
Us, but he couldn't. Helen got her main
Prize, a brown purse. Walked on the prom where we
Ate lunch, then sunbathed once more. We have filled
Our skins with tan, and so achieved our aim!

2 April

4603 - Morocco Day 5

This has been my favourite day of the hol
So far. Agadir. No travelling or stress
Breakfast, then shopping, then a little stroll
To the bank, and more shopping. Got carpets
Well, small rugs, Helen got some small trinkets
And perfume, then back to Hotel Tildi
For mega-sunbathing session. Got pissed
Then a massage, Helen next door to me
I made my hair grey for publicity
Purposes, took photos near to the hill
Behind the marina. We were both less
Than comfortable, with sunburn. Then next, we
Had ice-cream and coffee. Back to hotel
Saw Agadir after dark. All good, yes...!!!

1 April

4602 - Morocco Day 4

Last breakfast at Hotel Oudaya, then
Took a chance we could catch an early bus
To Agadir. Got on. Slowly the sun
Defeated the clouds the more we went west
Until clear blue skies brought us happiness
As the small red taxi drove quickly to
Our hotel. With no delay, got undressed
And down to the poolside, sun loungers two...
Unfortunately there was a man who
Ruined it by staring at little Helen
She didn't care but I did. Caused a fuss
By sitting with us for a close-up view
Got tans though! On the beach, the strong ocean
Wind made it chilly, but it was heaving!

31 March

4601 - Morocco Day 3

Grey sky frowned on us, morning rain on pool
We waited in the lobby for a man
He found us and we got in his white van
And picked up the rest in the main square who'll
Be on the Atlas trip. Some lads, German
An American friend of theirs, family
Of Japanese, some based Chicago, and
Off we drove. Sunny now, and luckily
For first stop was the camel ride, with me
In the lead on a white one. Then an oil
Place, argan oil made here, then a walk in
The Imlil Valley, got wet and cold. She
(Helen) was in a bad state, much too cool
Chattering teeth. Played uke in room. Night then!

30 March

4600 - Morocco Day 2

First full day, sunny, made the best of it
Had breakfast, but too cold to sunbathe then
At the poolside. We found a place to sit
On an open-top bus, but poor Helen
Was feeling ragged from our boozy plane
Ride. She recovered, gained an appetite
Hopped off in old Marrakesh, walked within
Its alleys and markets, but didn't quite
Find the Jamaa el Fna until tonight
In between, we sunbathed, managed to get
A sun lounger each, began a good tan
Front and back, in my case, got some sunlight
On my tattoos. I bought a blue jacket
And an orange wallet. Back before ten

29 March

4599 - Morocco Day 1

Sunny day in Manchester, but so what?
Me and Helen were headed for Afrique
Marrakesh, Morocco, where it's more hot
And hopefully our skins will soon turn pink
Or burn pink, then to brown, if we can sink
Into two sun loungers by the pool, soon
(This is tomorrow morning I'm writing)
Smooth flight, lots to drink, of course lots of drink
Taxi man held Helen's name in airport
On a white card. We hopped in, drunken loons
Got to the Hotel Oudaya, heard tunes
From someone nearby. Hotel bar was gone
By 10pm, but H was pissed as fart
Massaged her feet, then tried to get some kip

28 March