4571 - Those men in white coats

I've got jaw-ache and it's not going away
It's quite sore tonight after finishing
My tea. Last night in bed it seemed to stay
Throbbing fairly mildly, but persisting
It died down during the day, not going
Away completely, however. I must
Monitor this, hope it's self-correcting
If not, I'll have to look for a dentist
I should look online, be more modernist
Find a local one. I have saved much pay
Over the years, successful avoiding
Of those men in white coats, I had no trust
In them or their activities, but may
Now investigate private medicine

4570 - Mind bomb

We've heard from Alex Petty 'bout our show
The Dead Daft Show, with interactive games
He's offered The Counting House as venue
But he has offered unsuitable times
12:30's too soon, shot it down in flames
I'm still onstage in my solo show then
Got back straightaway, saying what a shame
But can he give us more like 2pm?
Fingers crossed, still time for re-schedulin'
And then there's Helen's writing, it is so
Electric, blew me away, it still chimes
In my head, once I'd read it a second
Time. Although that was now two nights ago
It rules my thoughts and echoes through my brains

4569 - No arm in it

Charging my speaker, so that I can play
Some music from my phone, since Spotify
Refuses to open its green display
On my laptop screen, though I've now paid my
Subscription, slightly late. Oh well. Should I
Eat first, or play first? Play first, that should be
Better, I think. Some wine still left, too dry
Last night to drink it, but OK today
I pondered going to the comedy
At the King's Arms tonight, but think I'll stay
In and do stuff. For weeks now, I've had my
Inbetweeners DVDs patiently
Waiting for me to watch, and this delay
Is like Brexit in its when, how and why

4568 - Tiredtle

I'm too dehydrated to drink tonight
Had a couple of beers but will stop there
Won't finish my wine began Sat'day night
May as well save it til tomorrow, spare
Myself the effort. Too tired now to care
Fancy just going to bed fairly soon now
Couldn't play uke, no charge in my speaker
Just wanna doze soon as I can, somehow
Or why not lie there with the radio
Playing softly day's journey into night
Chan's just cooked bacon, what an aroma!
I might grab a late night snack, then I'll go
And lie down, Can't wait to slip into slight
Absence from real life and absence from care

4567 - Hell's bells

Here I am again, back from Manchester
A fun drink with Helen, she rocks, and saw
Two big games too, firstly, it's Manchester
United against Liverpool, a draw
Nil nil, then another nil nil, a bore
Maybe, but City won on penalties
So they won the League Cup, they were the fore-
most team anyway. Today is lost, these
Weekend days are the time for our hobbies
But I'd happily trade my free time for
The lovely Helen, no contest, I'm for
Seeing her face and swapping daft stories
Rather that than being happily here
On my own, though that's often worked before

4566 - Walk this way

My forehead's so dehydrated because
Of effin' moisturiser, for God's sake
Drinking a shit load last night made it worse
But great fun as ever with Hel who makes
It all seem worthwhile. Don't apply the brakes
To this relationship, it is the best
What don't we have in common's what I ask
And she's so lovely to look at, a blessed
Treat. I thought that I had had enough rest
After that spree, but maybe not, because
I felt OK this morning, but I'm shagged
Now, since I walked round town with Jo. Grub fest
At Mowgli down Oxford Road, the campus
Area, curry and lamb chops, taste was max

4565 - Pub a dub

Day off, I'd intended to go to Wales
For Lewis's leaving lunch but did not
So I was free, and invited Hell's Bells
Out, and we had a good few drinks and got
Around the Northern Quarter quite a lot
I'd suggested Odd Bar but it has gone
It's an Escape Room now, so instead met
In a typical pub, The Unicorn
Then Mother Mac's, then on to the Millstone
Karaoke in old Sinatra styles
Then The Castle, then Hunter's for a spot
Of food, then NQ64, games on,
A free drink, then Behind Closed Doors, no fails
All good places, good chat, Helen looked hot

Fri 22 Feb

4564 - Graduazione di Perla

Woke at 5, met P and V at Shudehill
In the darkness outside the bus station
Got on the Megabus down to Bristol
Got some sleep but not much. The day was fun
Once we got there for Pearl's graduation
The second time in Bristol's Wills Building
This time it was Masters, Education
She went on stage quite near the beginning
The scene was both moving and exciting
Tomorrow she flies to Milan, and will
Fulfil the goal she nurtured, her man gone
But keen to escape Britain, becoming
Hard to teach in, almost impossible
Good luck, Pearl, in your new start in Milan xx

4563 - You bedder you bed

Oh wow, it's like Friday night here at home
Watching the Brits, communicating with
Jo and Helen, it's like the pleasure dome
I've had a drink or two, the point therewith
Is to get tired and go to bed, henceforth
Drop off quickly seeing as I'm rising at
Five in the morning, awful prospect, north
England bus ride 6am, and for what?
Pearl's second graduation, Masters, first!
Then she's off to Italy. That takes some
Balls, dunnit? All the best to Pearly, miss
Her when she's gone, thinking of her, though but
Soon I'll retire to bed and drift among
Fluffy clouds til alarmed, I wake and scoot

4562 - Right on write on

The lighter nights get lighter, spring draws near
My teeth don't get no whiter as they age
These days my main exciter's sadly beer
Although I try to keep hope in storage
And still love biting food, but not cabbage
You mitre known, I ain't no bishop man
It's hard, but I fight the weight-gaining urge
I walk a lot, but fly to some foreign
Places, not as far as square-head Kryten
I'm Ant, no antlers, unlike fighting deer
But I'm fighting to write things on this page
Light your lighter, it may help enlighten
Or like the great Titan, it may spread fear
Let's untighten our belts and take courage!

4561 - Hell's falafels

A mad hectic morning, meetings, The Fringe
Things to ask and sort out, then lunch with Hel
At Pizza Hut, Cross Street, kids within range
As I habitually swore, my tales to tell
The afternoon calmer, it's just as well
Cos I was starting to run low on power
Back home, played uke just like ringing a bell
Then a tea of quiche and quorn to devour
Two Qs, topped with a veritable tower
Of greens and pulses - quite the healthy binge
At this rate I'll get into falafel
Might be deluded, but think I shit more
Give my gut some roughage like a syringe
Help it recover from the beer bottle

4560 - Logo no go with no cash flow

I'm enjoying BBC Radio 6
Berlin week, listened online to Iggy
Which was broadcast on Friday when I missed
It cos I was out with Pearl, no money...
Ten days until the end of February
Ten days until payday, got to hang on
My finances are getting real ropey
This morning, more ideas that cost a ton
Like paying graphic designers to come
Up with a logo and cartoonish pics
That I could use on t-shirts and Bony
Tony's website - 500 minimum
In spondoolicks, but then these kinda tricks
Are how I get attention onto ME!

4559 - House of Pain

Nice sleep, just as well, because today saw
A lot of walking around Manchester
But first played the Undertones, Yes and for
The umpteenth time, Sparks' first album, oh yeah
My mission then was to find a place where
Pearl, Jo and me could eat cheaply, but it
Was Mission Impossible. Albert Square
Had nowhere good but cheap. I thought oh shit
Walked everywhere, new places three and four
Korean, M&S, House of Fraser
Afflecks Café, all closing early. Bit
Of a nuisance, it made me want to spit
Crazy Pedro's was too full. Eastside, you're
Good value, there three hours chatting, I swear!

Sat 16 Feb

4558 - Clone zone

Good day at work, then waiting to meet Pearl
I was in Piccadilly Gardens where
I bumped into Angela, office girl
From the old place, Ralli Quays, then in the
Time before meeting Pearl, went to withdraw
Twenty quid to buy shirts, red and yellow
But there was a dodgy man in the queue
Seemed to want to clone my card. Worried, so
In the pub with Pearl, phoned the bank to go
Through what happened, closed the card, unable
To buy my round though, so Pearl paid with her
Small finances, felt like a so and so
Good chat, cut short somewhat, a real
Pleasure to see her before she's not there

Fri 15 Feb

4557 - Leave or remain it out

Valentine's Day, lol, never a good time
But love to all and especially to H
Let's just not go down the commercial line
With high restaurant prices or flower bunch
Empty gestures when it comes to the crunch
Just have love in your heart for all the days
Different subject, I could say bunch of c***s
But I won't - Parliament votes on the ways
We should proceed on Brexit. It's a haze
A fog, a miasma, almost a crime
Revealing the fake unity of such
Political parties all in a daze
Inadequate in the wake of that fine
Line of the leave vote, the ship of state beached

4556 - Who knows what tomorrow May will bring

Decent sleep, though I woke at 4 am
Got back, drifted nicely, disturbed by Chan
Around six, confirming she's back again
One day later than expected, so when
I finally see her, I'll ask if her plane
Was delayed. It's a relief she's OK
Lots going on at work, European
Exit, of course, and the Soft Drinks Levy
Now got the news on, keeping up with the
Absurdity of MPs' division
Over what to do - Labour's pro-remain
Bias is pushing Prime Minister May
Leftwards to get Brexit through, a union
In most respects, despite referendum

4555 - The international language of screaming

Long, busy day at work, but feel I've done
Quite a lot, catching up with the backlog
Then straight out for a long tattoo session
Three new foreign phrases, a travelog
Of mild insults to leave tourists agog
It's been quite a trial, long sessions of pain
In December and February, a big
Effort, but I'm now up to date again
The next will be an Arabic slogan
Following the Morocco trip, so soon
With Helen, in the land of the Tuareg
Well, maybe the Berber in that terrain
The sunny land of the Atlas mountain
Range awaits, far from rain and ice and fog

4554 - Tired eyes, burning like fire...

Woke at 5:15, got some sleep later
But not enough. Thank God that my tattoo
Appointment was cancelled, too tired to bear
Two hours of pain at 5:30. Was too
Busy at work with EU Exit to
Register this month for the Fringe brochure
And box office ticket sales. Got a few
Questions for Charles before I can be sure
My show will not end up in the manure
The blurb I give the Fringe site must concur
With my contract details. Need to review
How much to charge, how to cause a furore
Of expectation, get people to care
And come along, and then to whoop and woo!!

4553 - Minstrels in the Gallery

A good Sunday, woke quite early, half six
Got up almost an hour later, breakfast
Knew I had to register for the Fringe
But didn't do it, I needed to ask
Charles' advice, so I deferred the task
Til tomorrow at work. Instead I played
Uke, then out to Manchester for a cask
With Helen, and a sandwich, then we made
Our way from The Shakespeare along the road
In the cold to the Bridgewater Hall, quick
Glass of red, then up to the Gallery fast
So as not to miss the big serenade
Of choirs and soloists while strings assist
In Berlioz' The Damnation of Faust

4552 - Three T shirts, almost free shirts

I had less than two bottles of beer left
From last night (when I was obviously drunk)
So I've drunk them this afternoon, won't get
Any more tonight, cos that means I'll flunk
My Friday and Saturday only drink
Rule. I'm on it, my discipline is strong
There's no way I'm considering going
Out to get more, with more fags, that is wrong
It'll overlap to Sunday. King Kong
I am in size of will power. Not bereft
Of t-shirts, but bought three more, price was sunk
To only two quid each, I went along
To the local charity shop to sift
Through their DVDs, no new ones, hopes sunk

4551 - Whatever, fools

Friday night, I'm pissed, great to have spent some
Time with Helen, met Lee, he is a man
Now listening to the Bonzos old album
Gorilla from I think '67
Madness abounds, who knows what, who knows when
It's nonsense, this line, and the people say
Their shit, and that's fine, they don't have a pen
Pens don't exist no more, I say hurray
Porridge each morning, starts us off okay
Don't tell me when I should come, I should come
That moment's up to me, not some woman
Or man, I'll come when I want, and I'll play
When I want, how I want, no more ho hum
That's that, this is this, stick it up your bum

4550 - Keep barmy and carry on

Although I've felt so tired this afternoon
Once home I've been quite busy, all in all
I washed some clothes, watched TV, and then soon
After that, cooked and ate my tea, was full
Then without delay, played my uke, a real
Long two-hour stint, forgot my tiredness
Trying to get through Rock A to Z, strong will
Got me to the end of the letter S
Just T to Z to go. Nine o' clock - yes!
There's time to watch Jimmy Carr Live, it's on
A DVD I bought, historical
I guess, from 2004. His face
Was much podgier then, like a balloon
Josephine would like it, that funny girl!

4549 - Two courses but no restaurant

Still got the cold, although I got off light
A bit sniffly, and slightly below par
It's true I didn't get much sleep last night
But despite this my day was wunderbar
Management course at the Conference Centre
On Sackville Street, maintained my wakefulness
Got a Greggs lunch in central Manchester
Forgot my loyalty card again, yes
But my third coffee today made me less
Sleepy for long enough to skim read quite
Quickly through an online course, and chatter
Here and there, and heard from Helen, she has
Once more set a lunch date - she's feeling right
I hope she stays well, I want to see her!

4548 - The weak end stops here

I feel better than yesterday, it's true
Although still fighting off an infection
I'm determined I shall still continue
Eschewing booze and fags til the weekend
After Sunday's triumph I can't let me down
I did so well, finishing off that beer
But leaving it there, having no more, when
Normally I would, though it is so clear
That that's wrong on a Sunday eve. True we're
Unhappy in the week, tormented, blue
But the happiness is so much more when
Friday finally comes, you've earned good cheer
You've got things done, you've not been a bum, you
Deserve some madness, you've been disciplined

4547 - Flaming pie

Thought I'd be OK today, but after
A while started to feel tired. While walking
Home I felt cold, then almost a fever
I'm fighting something off and that's making
Me feel like this. So I'm not expecting
To do much tonight. Will I even play
My uke, or shall I choose just relaxing?
I've got some DVDs so that's OK
More comedy to watch at close of day
Just eaten an enormous pie, was a
Reduced price, couldn't resist purchasing
What now? Listen to more albums, the way
I've been doing all weekend, read the 'paper'
Online, then some Brexit TV watching

4546 - Slaves to the rhythm

Sunday, and I've been playing more music
Scott Walker, Serge Gainsbourg, and now The Shins
Going through the albums, in alphabetic
Saved on Spotify... Now The Slaves are in
My speakers, recommended, Josephine
I'll tell her I've heard it. The track Daddy
Possibly reminds her of me, but I think
I'll keep that to myself, don't want to be
That self-obsessed or defensive really
While listening to this feast of sound, I picked
My sea bass from the fridge. It was frying
In Chan's olive oil, yes I was lucky
That was there, mine had run out. Not shopping
Today, too cold to go out, freeze my skin

4545 - Burnt burger

Nice but cold day out, with Jo, and met Pearl
Ate at The Anthologist, Peter's Square
I ate fish pie, didn't make me too full
But that's good cos feeling stuffed is a mare
Pearl had a bad cold, hope she didn't share
Jo had a burnt burger, bacon was rank
I tried a bit, but still, it was nice there
Before that, we'd been sitting in Costa
Sat at the window laughing at people
Coming and going outside, what they were
Wearing, or doing. Some looked like they stank
We saw a wedding group, hen party, punk -
No, no punk, that was just a rhyme, but thank
You anyway. That's the end of my tale

4544 - See the show

It's all good, goin' well, workwise, playwise
And show-wise. My own solo show's booked in
And now tonight with Tom's help, the great prize
Of our solo show at Free Sister's seen
And grasped, just submitted it online
After my failed attempt two days ago
Now it's celebration day, or evenin'
Drinks are deserved, Estrella on the go
Followed by Old Speckled Hen, let it flow
The enormity of it all, the size
Is beyond belief. There's some big spendin'
But income's comin' in Edinboro'
And more importantly, lots of keen eyes
Enjoyin' what they see, and word spreadin'...