4023 - Roamania

I'm going to roam in Romania
I'm leaving, I'm not going to remain here
I must admit my roaming is a mania
But not on my phone, I only use wi-fi, yeah?
It will be good to escape from the rain here
And rumour has it, it's hot in Romania
In Romania there's quite a lot of Roma
They also like to roam in their caravania
Rome is in Italy, not in Romania
But who'd have thought it, when it sounds so samier
This poem / song is getting more insanier
But let's not moan like a Brexit Remainer
When in Romania, we won't be on the plain, yeah (no)
We'll be in Transylvania's high mountainia

4022 - Bass vulture

Just been to a reggae gig. What? U Roy
Supported by Sister Aisha and band
Mixed by the Mad Professor - what a noise
Though I've heard louder back in the day, and
I'm thinking Hugh Mundell in '81
But I'm pleased with the night, as I'm getting
Old, and don't know if I could cope again
With quite that volume of the bass pounding
I love reggae and I'm pleased attending
Possibly the last such gig that destroyed
West Coast rock and prog, back when the punk sound
Went hand in hand in young people's gigging
And John Peel led us on, with these sound toys
And we imbibed them like water on sand

4021 - Hill of screams

The long Bank Holiday weekend is here
Today is Saturday, so watch and smile
I've enjoyed it, read quotations, I'm near
The end of that massive book, and yes, I'll
Finish it before I go for a while
To Transylvania and beyond, over
The hills and far away, for many a mile
The book I'll take is by Johann Goethe
'Italian Journey' - travel literature
That's fit reading, comparing yesteryear
To nowadays. And also and meanwhile
Did exercises on the bedroom floor
For the fifth day running. The need was clear -
Build up strength for the mountain walking trial

4020 - Kill the bill

Friday, the last day at work for a while
Popped out for a holiday haircut at
Lunchtime, so  now my hair's short, I can smile
It could be sunny, I should take a hat
My hair's thin nowadays, can't deny that
We'll be walking the Transylvanian hills
John will fly home, I'll head for Bucharest
Then further east, hoping for eastern thrills
In Moldova and Ukraine, quite low bills
In that part of the world, I hope. My style
Is becoming better with each trip out
And so I'll probably never get my fill
Had a few beers back home, played uke, a pile
Of great songs, now it's done, I'm a cool cat!

4019 - Bed head

Vapour recovery and ETMP
Never mind what they are, that's what I did
At work today - but will posterity
Give a toss? I suspect it won't, our kid
So why not open the biscuit tin lid?
Or crack open a can of beer? But not
Tonight. It's a night off, I need my bed
But first, a shower and hair wash must be got
Or maybe in the morning, how about
That excellent idea? Head so itchy
Last night, though, can I bear another mid-
Night scratching session, lost sleep in my cot?
No, that does not sound fun, it's lunacy
So a late shower it is. Let's be itch-rid!

4018 - Who Leeds, who follows?

Went via Leeds to Shipley with Farah
As Tom said, 'twas the arse-end of nowhere
At least it didn't rain, the humid air
Made us hot while walking and the room there
Was too hot for some. Paul C in despair
It was frustrating in some ways, but still
Let's not get into that, at least not here
Some spare time afterwards gave us the thrill
Of walking round Leeds centre shops. I will
Now have a new T-shirt in Moldova
Or Romania, ten quid, a bargain, yeah?
Ten quid's not too much of a bill
But I'm running out of money. Prepare
For eastern Europe, flying through the air...

4017 - Romania mania

I walked a few miles this lunchtime, had to
Order Romanian currency, and then
Ukrainian, even Moldovan, if you
Could. But only Romanian, in the end
Could be ordered. For the other two spends
I ordered euros, which I will convert
To the local currencies as and when
The need arises. I am still alert
So why not do my exercises? Hurt
At my own laziness, when I should do
Them and get fit before hillwalking on
The Transylvanian ridge. Tomorrow, might
Not have walked so far, so I'll pledge anew
To do my press-ups, and to do them soon!

4016 - Shakes with fear

Mainly in today, but I got a call
Just as soup was almost in microwave
From my eldest daughter by name of Pearl
To say her and her mum were 'bout to have
A look at the JD / NO show they've
Meant to see at Manchester Gallery
I thought, although I'd been before, I'd give
It another look, and see P and V
Before she returns to London city
We wandered round the exhibition, all
Of half an hour, then had late lunch, a brave
Choice of tea and cheese scone, filled up nicely
I saved my soup for work. Read Shakespeare, all
25 pages of quotes. Now feel rough!

4015 - Plastic not so fantastic

A fun day as usual with family
We met at Vee's flat, then trammed into town
The meal was nice, apart from poor Pearlie
Who found plastic in her food. Last time round
In that place there was a hair that I found
On my plate - twice in succession is not
Acceptable when you part with your pounds
And get shit in your food. Back in Vee's flat
We played a quiz that's called Articulate
Pearl, as usual, so competitively
Won for her team, while me and Vee were clowns!
The weather's cooling down, it's not so hot
It may be when I go on holiday
To Romania, Moldova, Ukraine, soon!!!

4014 - Tumbleweed connection

And so it's Friday night, a good uke strum
Along with some Old Speckled Hen, four cans
Then ate some pie and nicely filled my tum
As Carla went to bed on her return
From the local pub which was abandoned
And empty on a Friday evening
Despite the cheap pints. Makes you want to run
For your life. Watched Big Brother, evicting
Two no-mark so-called celebs, not saying
Their names, I can't even remember them
I'm certainly not one of their few fans
Some crap American film is starting
I won't watch it, it's getting near bedtime
Instead I'll read about Monty Python!

4013 - Ramblas shocker

The big shock of the day, while ironing
Was seeing news about Barcelona
Only a few days ago, was walking
With Jo along Las Ramblas with no care
And now I see people have been killed there
Reports varied about how many, but
It reached 13. It must have been a scare
And a half for the thousands who were caught
In the panic, on the floor, feeling hot
Crushed against others, trapped, and panicking
Mothers without their children, unknown where-
abouts, the police hunting, atmosphere fraught
With tension. Although I'm always missing
Spain, I'm glad I'm home, away from the fear

Thur 17 August

4012 - The stress of doing

Relaxing now after a busy time
Doing washing, playing my uke, eating...
Wait - how can I treat eating as work. But I'm
Naturally lazy. I don't like cooking
And can barely be bothered swallowing
Food. Actually, I like eating, that's not
The problem, I'm not that bad! But thinking
About doing something, and doing it
Are totally different things to me. A lot
Of things I've tried and nothing's worked. Not climbed
To the top of anything. What's the thing
That stops me? Am I too independent?
Am I that man island in the old rhyme
Is my problem just one of not needing?

4011 - Sadford

Hey folks, here I am, a good night at the Kings
Arms, Salford, three guys from Middlesbrough came
Down, a two hour drive, was it worth it? Think
It was, I'd like to think so, but don't blame
Me if it wasn't, but it's all the same
To me. I sank a few pints, and I had
A good night. It's better than staying home
Luke Helly, Dickie Probert, O.J., glad
To see them there, it made the night more rad
Rad? Can't believe I said that! There are things
That aren't acceptable within the frame
Of good taste, and rad's not, it's really bad
I'm back home now, obviously, I'm typing
This sonnet, bye bye, good night, glad you came!

4010 - Marble angel

A day late, 'cause I got so drunk last night
Started off on New Zealand 5%
Beer, then Manchester Bitter, til quite late
Staggered home with the rucksack I've been lent
It wasn't heavy, I was pissed, I meant
Started at the Marble Arch, then later
Relocated to the Angel. We spent
Only 10 minutes on discussing the
Romania trip. Told John I'd go further
After the hill-walking was done, head right
Through Moldova to Ukraine. Won't repent
This choice, Odessa's beach is a stunner
I'm hoping. A fairly expensive flight
Home, though. So that's where all my money went!

Mon 14 August

4009 - Burger point

A quiet Sunday at home, Carla chatty
Earlier on, then went for a burger to
Knutsford, in someone's car, presumably
I'd like to go there with J and P too
In the next few days, 'twould be nice to do
I wrote some 'women' jokes - it's irony
Or gentle rib-tickling; my point of view
Ain't anti-women, but it worries me
That I couldn't do those jokes normally
In the dull PC climate so strongly
Stymying the arts, politeness through and through
What will be preserved for posterity
At least from working-class culture that we
Have known but lost? Once more dictated to

4008 - Music scene 2017 stylee

A fun day with Jo, talking music, went
Into HMV, The Cribs playing there
And on Monday, Ratboy, which she intends
To see play live, exciting stuff, I swear
I bought her their CD, which she will bear
In her hand on Monday with her friend, try
To get it autographed by Ratboy. Her
Name on it, I hope. Takes me back when I
Was a starstruck teenage kid, but apply
Myself as I did, I never got sent
To a gig like that where I saw them share
Their musical gifts in a shop. But I
Did get my bag signed by Paper Lace then
In a tent in '74, yeah yeah!

4007 - Salford is mine

I had thought I'd see the Morrissey flick
'England Is Mine' but the wait was too long
To go to the cinema after work
Instead I went home, finished Milligan
In time to watch Four In A Bed and bung
Some cod in batter into the oven
Jalfrezi sauce on my pasta - that's wrong?
Probably, but it was nice. Carla's goin'
Out soon, I think, leaving me on my own
But I don't think booze is needed. It's quick
To pass the evening, playing ukey song
Reading comedy tips book C passed on
My creative writing diary, a look
At that would be good also. Nothing's wrong

4006 - News of the war

Felt good and effective today, but got
Tired later on, however I've just played
Uke along to a disco soundtrack, hot
From Sainsbury's, a fiver well spent, not heard
Some of these disco pop songs for - afraid
To say! Now drinking matcha tea, watching
The athletics, where the rain's stopped, thank God
It should make for better running, throwing
And watching. Think I'll spend the eve reading
Emails, messages, YouTube clips, the lot
Then finish with Spike Milligan. I've aimed
To finish that book before week's ending
So I can start a new one when I'm out
On the train to see Jo, weekend parade

4005 - Tough girls

First day back at work since going to Spain
The weather's improved since I got back - yeah!
Read all the emails, often such a pain
But this time, not so many. Now prepared
To push on. Women's Rugby World Cup fare
On TV now, from Ireland, with Ireland
Up against a tough team, Australia
In sunny Dublin, unlike wet London
The World Athletics venue rained upon
And also with a Norovirus strain
Breaking out and disrupting things down there
Discussed travel with Tom at work, with some
Good ideas for December. At the same
Time as Belgium, do Luxembourg - it's near!

4004 - Safely back from Barcelona

Phew! Despite all the tension and worry
Me and Jo are safe and sound back home. What
Was the cause of this partic'lar worry?
Well, firstly, reg'lar strikes at the airport
Which, out of interest, is known as El Prat
Then the news broke that a regional group
Called Arran, had started to protest at
The tourists in Catalonia. Saw daubed
Graffiti in Parc Guell, and heard they'd popped
The tyres of a tourist bus. Home journey
Fraught with other issues, like our passports
Being put in the hold with my bag. We coped
However, slept OK, and caught taxi
From hotel to train, dropped Jo off. Byeee!! xxx

4000 - Barcelona Day 2

A hot and sweaty, but a great first day
With Jo in Barcelona, North-East Spain
We had no breakfast here, as it costs a
Whopping 25 euros each - insane!
Shuttle bus into town, so hot, the strain
Of sweating on the Metro, midsummer
During a heatwave! Tasty lunch, then main
Tourist drag, Las Ramblas, the entire
Length, to Colom Column, then rode on the
Metro to Sagrada Familia, way
More complete than last time I saw it. When?
September '82! Rain, Manchester
According to Facebook video. Hey -
This hotel has automatic curtains!!

Fri 4 August

4003 - Barcelona Day 5

The final day went well - a few mishaps
But nothing serious, so cannot complain
Last day in Barcelona, a few laps
Of the grid street pattern, causing slight strain
To soles of feet and patience. All the same
We did Ramblas and the Diagonal
Then rested for an hour or more, half lame
I thought, dammit, my quest I must fulfil
To see Casas Batllo and Mila - well
I managed it, and it was great for shops
The Passeig de Gracia is one of Spain's
Top streets, and Jo found a Puma bag well
To her liking, spent her euros, so claps
All round. Now in Premier Inn, Scousepool, man!

Mon 7 August

4002 - Barcelona Day 4

A touch breezier today, but still it's hot
We had pondered walking the shopping streets
But I pointed out, Sunday shops are shut
So instead we should spend time at the beach
But first we went to the Spanish Village
And I had octopus / omelette tapas
The Metro's so hot, its sauna-like heat
Makes you sweat waiting for the train. We passed
The Maritime Museum, had a blast
At the Titanic exhibition - what
A treat, a great model of that great ship
Then a lovely walk by the sea - at last
The beach and port!!! Fun evening with Jo at
The hotel. Tomorrow - last day of treats!!

Sun 6 August

4001 - Barcelona Day 3

Another hot and sweaty day we spent
In Barcelona - the worst's the Metro
When you go down there, it's like hell - intense
Heat, sweat from every pore, just want to go
Barcelona FC, Nou Camp, I know
Few have been there, so we feel privileged
The Facebook crowd liked all those great photos
The comments and likes came without stoppage
After that, and a meal, it was Montjuich
The hill with palaces, sports stadiums, spent
A while in the hot sun, feeling its glow
At least I've not felt the mosquito's itch
We got the shuttle back, and my intent
Was to drink the hotel wine - woh woh woh!

Sat 5 August

3999 - Barcelona Day 1

A relaxing morning at home, TV
And coffee, mainly packed my bags last night
The big question - would I get soaked on the
Exposed walk to Piccadilly? Got quite
Damp, but avoided nasty downpours. Flight
From Liverpool to Barcelona was
Our intent, and we made Lennon Airport
In good time, and the flight was a success
Arriving 15 minutes early - yes!!
Walked around the airport trying to see
An info booth or the Metro. Tickets
Bought, lasting four days, fifty-five euros
For both of us. Metro and then taxi
Got to hotel, seventeenth floor - what height!

Thur 3 August

3998 - Barca farce

Excited about tomorrow's trip to
Barcelona for five days with lil Jo
She's fallen out with her mum. Hmm, I do
Remember a similar scenario
With Tania in '04. She wouldn't go
To Newquay, had to go on my own, just
Because of her arguing about no
More important thing than my driving. Most
Likely she gets tense about it all, past
Traumas revived, maybe. I hope those two
Make it up tonight before bedtime. So
Little time in the morning. My defrost
Of the fridge is done, packing bag done too
I'll see her about 2pm, Wilmslow

3997 - Fun to be a punter junta

Time's counting down til Barcelona now
Penultimate day in the office and
Completed lots of stuff in effort to
Clear the decks. Afterwards, wrote some new fun
Material, but no delivery. Stand-
Up preview by Tony Burgess. Impressed
Only four in the room to watch, could end
In embarrassed boredom, but was the best
Edinburgh preview I've seen, a blast
A comedy and drama mix, a wow
Had three pints in the King's Arms. I had planned
To do a set but Dave thought, let it rest
That's OK, I've written new stuff, allows
Me to do it some other time, dear friend