3697 - Comedy Chameleon

It's nice to be home and just relaxing
After four hectic days and nights, no rest
I plan on a little uke practising
But after that, think I'll be happiest
Finishing the John Lydon book, that's best
A little beer left from the Liverpool
Off licence last night, not going to get pissed
That becomes the bad habit of a fool
How long since I exercised? It's a whole
Two weeks, surely? A good week, though, learning
More about my act. I don't feel depressed
Got mainly good reactions through it all
This weekend it's about developing
My act structure to withstand any test

3696 - Not quite dying in Liverpool

A stupendously long hard day it was
Despite dropping off to sleep late as three
A.m. I woke about six thirty, as
I thought of a new joke or two, and the
Idea forced me up and out quite early
Worked hard, almost a full day, though I left
At three, needed a power nap badly
Dozed for thirty minutes with the news left
On low on TV, ate, rehearsed, then left
For Liverpool, running late. I was forced
After a slow train ride, to use taxi
To get to Lark Lane on time, where I met
Tom George, had a coffee, on first I was
Did OK, some laughs. Last train back for me

3695 - You never can tell

A long day not helped by last night's late drink
Although I had some fun at work, that's true
And once again after work, out watching
Comedy at the Ape and Apple. Few
Laughs, I thought. Carla did a spot and though
She was a bit down afterwards, wasn't
Really her fault, it was tough out there. You
Can never tell how jokes will go. A grunt
Here, a silence there, tends to disappoint
The comedian of course, remembering
Maybe their last gig, when those same jokes drew
Giggles and even roars. Why so different
A response from night to night? Perplexing
But laughs are infectious, silences too

3694 - Coffee hero

What a day, again, it seems all to much
Organised a holiday to Cyprus
Bought EasyJet flights to Larnaca, crunch
Time, bought hotel too, I knew that I must
Decide everything and I did and pushed
My finances up front, paid up, sorted
It all out, did work, energy was used
But that was just the start, I visited
Caffe Nero, saw Carla there, I hid
From her manager our acquaintance, clutched
My free coffee, wrote out my set, which was
Fairly successful at TWICNIS, I led
The people there with chat, the common touch
Then a pint with the lads, and home to get more pissed

3693 - Cyprus price plus

A very busy, even stressful day
Fast-paced at work, so much to organise
Including Cyprus, but I've learned that they
Are charging the earth for flights thru the skies
Sky-high prices brought water to my eyes
Even in November! Looks unlikely
Me and Jo will be going there. Only chance is
EasyJet flights and some cheap hostelry
But would a cheap place be liked by Josie?
No time to rehearse. Ate, then made my way
In the rain to The Courtyard for a night's
Open mic - all music, apart from me
I shouted my head off at the mike. Hey
They chanted my name, thought my cracks were wise!

3692 - Island in the sun - again

A good day at home, lots of things to do
Thinking up this week's new comedy set
And reading about Cyprus, that's the new
Half-term break with Josephine, when we'll jet
Off to that island country split in two
Between Greek and Turk. I'll never forget
My trip in 2010, to Greece, and screw-
Loose Istanbul - that longest day and night
Revisiting those cultures again, whew!
The news in '74 showed a lot
Of reports about the invasion. Who
Stuck in the mind? Makarios, in that hat
Not sure whether to drive while there or not
Now to book those November flights - yahoo!!!

3691 - Life sucks, then you die

I'm just writing a quick sonnet - good day
After last night's disappointment about
Carla, she said that she'd not felt OK
A bad report from Caffe Nero, out
Of sorts, a bit depressed, a bit without
The social impulse. Today I've learned more
About what makes her tick and fell like shite
I'm pleased it's not me, not 'cos I'm a bore
Or her either, just things life has in store
looking forward to next week now. Sunday
(Tomorrow) gonna write comedy set
For maybe 3 gigs next week, and explore
Further my new structure and theory
With new gags added. Should be good - no doubt?!

3690 - Joe Pubic

A long day's work, it's been a long work week
Three days in Telford, and two in Salford
Mixed energy levels, relies on sleep
Today I'm OK and feeling quite good
Because it's a Friday I've even bought
A few beers, enough for me and Carla
Too, if she wants some, and then when we've talked
The night will conclude nicely as ever
Well as most nights do, not quite together
But not far apart. I can hear her speak
It's good she's awake, after long hours poured
Into coffee cups, standing up, prepared
To put up with Joe Public's crap, be meek
When she could put them down with verbal sword

3689 - Waiting for Spud

I'm in the ante-room of Hell, Limbo
Or Purgatory. No, wait, I am not there
Thank God and Jesus, or both, oh no, no
It's worse. I'm in a long queue to nowhere
Or more specifically having to bear
The eternal damnation that's waiting
To buy Man United tickets. There's a
Clash between them and City now booking
It's in the EFL Cup, and meaning
That all the scrotes and their sprogs are gung ho
Getting their mitts on tickets, such despair
If they don't get 'em. Josie is asking
To go, so I'm a Red Devil fan, low
Down and dirty, fighting to get served, yeah!

3688 - Telford and back home

Nice smallish breakfast in the Lion Hotel
Shrewsbury, a quaint creaky old building
With bathrooms like your gran had, the same smell
The old ceramics. I'm not complaining
It had character. Second night's sleeping
Much better, seven hours, refreshed at last
Workshop finished early, soon the walking
To Telford Central station. Two nice chats
With Rachel and Phil the Scouser. A fast
Change of train at Wolverhampton. Useful
Read of the Lydon book, and arriving
At Piccadilly, free bus soon dispatched
Me on Deansgate, short walk home. Now for real
Relaxing evening with no worrying

3687 - Telford Workshop 2 Day 2

But despite getting little sleep last night
Interspersing attempts to sleep with bursts
Of reading John Lydon's life story, quite
Gripping, fortunately - combined the worst
Economic conditions with a thirst
For learning, then meningitis, hardship
Overcome, eventually. 'Mong the first
To dye hair green, wear drainpipes, much more hip
In Malcolm's and Vivienne's eyes than the drip
Of out-of-date hippies or rockers (might
See their descendants today, long-haired ghosts)
Whereas hipsters, their beards, they'll get my lip
To be quite honest, rather fly a kite
On West Kirby beach. Speech to them is terse

Tue 20 Sep

3686 - Telford Workshop 2 Day 1

Oh well, had high hopes for these next two days
But safe to say it's a big fat failure
It's become nothing, I am not amazed
Not even half-awake, once more could snore
Too many boring hangers-on, oh lor!
Why does it always happen? So boring
Anyway, back in the hotel room for
A cup of coffee, TV and reading
And that's better than the socialising
Tomorrow it all starts again, with plates
Of eggs and bacon, like eating manure
When the company's this dull and stifling
Watching First Dates, two daters may be mates
Maybe not. I'm not. Just a book-reader

Mon 19 Sep

3685 - It takes a worried man

Sunny morning, but it's gone cloudier now
Started to worry why Carla was still
In her bedroom, so quiet. Recalled how
She'd been quiet as a mouse in there until
I went to bed (drunk) last night. Was she killed
Or otherwise dead? Thought, well I shall check
When I turn the heat on (her bedroom wall
Contains the boiler) but then heard the click
Of her door opening. Thank God! Respect
For such a long, deep sleep. Didn't allow
For her staying out late last night - little
Did I suspect, but that's the tale. I'd crept
Around last night, didn't dare flush the loo
But she was out, in the Pen and Pencil!

3684 - Reggae reggae sports

As for today, a lovely sunny day
For got my phone, left it at home charging
Met Jo at Wilmslow station anyway
The usual central Manchester wandering
And the usual eating, drinks and talking
Later on, in Home, met Judith and friend
And then on the train back, did more chatting
To two Man City fans, tried to defend
My 'Trojan' t-shirt, which is not a brand
Of condoms, but a record label they
Had heard of, early reggae recordings
People always notice that t-shirt and
Perhaps that's why! Later, Match of the Day
But first, chilling out is most appealing!

3683 - The aut of noise

Oops, I did it again, forgot to write
A sonnet, so here it is, one day late
Worked hard and long in the office, was quite
Tired I guess on Friday eve, so I sat
On the sofa, chatted to Carla, had
A beer, played uke, watched a late night horror
Film - You're Next' - about murders in a great
Old Tudor-style house in the States, not a
Real Tudor house of course! Decided the
Woman who said I was autistic's right -
No, wait, wrong! Oh I don't know, but know that
She was rude and ignorant. A stranger
Should not be so bold, and I thought SHE might
Be autistic herself! Aren't people great!!

About Fri 16 September

3682 - Comedy For Sale

I hope you will bear with me on this jaunt
So much to say, it can't be said at all
So instead, best stick to what was once meant
Rather than risking comment on what is balls
I'm not talking about Ed or Yvette
Who the fuck are they, you might well ask. Call
Me stupid but I am, so you are right
And I acknowledge it, before I fall
For some reason I drank lots there tonight
In some mediocre comedy show, taunts
From local characters seemed to enthral
Presenters, this should not happen, should not
But does when comperes are weak and are short
Of balls, then you're fucked, you'd better call Saul

3681 - Mersey Heat

A lovely warm day, hotter than summer
Didn't stay outside in the heat much though
Train to Liverpool, a work meeting there
Then walked back to the train station when through
And preferred sitting inside, easier to
Relax and read with a coffee than fry
And sweat outside. Who needs a tan, although
There is maybe Vitamin D that I
Could have been absorbing from way on high
Still, I was outside for quite a while, a
Pedestrian in Manchester, also
Liverpool. This evening, went with Louis
To see Man City win 4-0 with the
Hero, natch, being Sergio Aguero

3680 - Theatre of streams

The heaviest downpour there's been in ages
Caused the Manchester City game to be
Cancelled. Shame, more than usual, because
I was heading there tonight with Josie
I'll go tomorrow instead with Louis
At least we stayed out of the rain quite well
As we sheltered inside Piccadilly
Railway station, waiting for them to tell
Us the match was abandoned, then we felt
Relieved, and celebrated, went upstairs
To TGI Friday, steak for two. The
Expensive menu wasn't great, but filled
Us up. Back home now writing these pages
Tomorrow, once more, Manchester City!

3679 - Cottonopolis to Metropolis

Felt very energetic all today
Because I had such a long and deep sleep
Listened to music as I made my way
Down Trinity Way, diggers digging deep
All along the side of the road that keeps
Changing, new buildings everywhere, bridges
Even, documenting the change that creeps
Day by day, all the time, but usually is
Not as noticeable as these changes
Back home again, and I did, straight away
My exercises, ironing. My steep
Learning curve on the uke, it continues
And relearning to play guitar. Caffe
Nero is giving Carla long hours. Bleep!

3678 - When you put romance on your venue

A pleasant day, but busy, home all day
Two days in that line - not sure that is good
Organised some comedy info. They
All do that, and so should I, but I could
Not remember a thing, my memory's dud
But after re-re-reading what and where
And when and who, but not why or how, did
Eventually do a table of compere
Venue, type of night, etc, compare
Contrast, prepare to perform and purvey
Laughter, or lack of, help or spoil the mood
I also played a mean uke and guitar
Yes, back practising the six string. Must play
It too, or I'll lose the different method

3677 - Food for sport

Nice to see Jo again, since Italy
I've not seen her, she's been away
Mainly in Portugal, and school study
Has begun for one more year and a day
Where teachers teach and pupils must obey
Today we went once more to Old Trafford
But it was derby day, sadly Jose
And his Reds lost to City, though that's good
For Blues fans like Louis, who's in good mood
No doubt after their precious victory
Expensive signing Pogba didn't play
Well for United, it seems. Nando's food
Filled us up. I'm still not very hungry
Nine hours later, but I'll snack anyway!

3676 - Chin up

I feel bad, increasingly so as day
Turns into evening. I have a headache
Caused by last night's extra unnecessary
Drinking session, made worse by adding smoke
Carla wasn't happy, had a brief look
In her room, then didn't see her again
I think she's struggling with the job. I'd like
To help her if she wants new employment
That task is what her focus should be on
She went out early, now she's shut away
I hope she can come out for a chinwag
I hope she will eat, if she's not eaten
When you feel down you don't even obey
Common sense, just see empty space that's black

3675 - Music to watch girls by

And now here's today's sonnet I'm writing
Thursday evening, Indian Summer, alone
Carla will be here soon, I'm expecting
In the meantime, here I am writing on
In my head it's the 70's I'm in
A time that has long gone, and beers been downed
A lot has happened recently, it's fun
If you're not married or personally drowned
At least, that's what I have personally found
What is the point of endlessly being
Tied to one person, listening to their moans
A pound of flesh, they can't have it, that pound
I'll keep it with mine, though time is passing
Each day's precious, I'll keep them for my own

3674 - Telford Day 3

The last of 3 days working in Telford
When it was done, got train back home again
With Steve who got off at home town, Stockport
While I stayed on til the final station
Then a free bus as far as to Deansgate
I hopped off, walked thru Spinninfields, so hot
For a September, late in afternoon
Carla was working when I reached the flat
I ate a quick snack of mushroom omelette
And then, very briefly, I gave some thought
To Tuesday Tony's comedy that's down
At the Tiger Lounge - quite a crowd tonight
I wore my orange shades, not sure that worked
But overall it was OK, I'm sayin'

3673 - Telford Day 2

All you can eat breakfast at the hotel
Then workshop meeting session soon complete
By lunchtime, well, frankly, I was still full
And so just bought a banana to eat
With Steve, Matthew and Bob, some goodish chat
Plentiful coffee from the free machine
In Matheson House, our workshop retreat
We have local football plans for the e'en
Telford versus Kidderminster, we're seein'
Lovely warm evening, Telford won, 1-0
Got a lift back from Rob, then grabbed a seat
At the Hungry Horse once more, comparin'
Women at work, as the evening settled
Into quietness. Good night's sleep would be neat!

3672 - Telford Day 1

Written a day late, penned Telford, Shropshire
Got the 10:07, Piccadilly
Train to Wolverhampton, had to change there
Went via Shifnal, surprisingly pretty
First look at Telford new town, centrally
With Steve (my manager) and with Matthew
From Newcastle. The workshop went quickly
Thanks to Manesh, lively presenter, who
Outlined the ETMP platform (You
Don't wanna know!) Old Speckled Hen at the
Hungry Horse pub, then too much food for me
At the Four Corners buffet place, pint 2
At Hungry Horse, then to hotel repaired
Read Brothers Grimm, and then slept, fitfully...

3671 - Housewarming outside in the cold!

Thank goodness I did not get wet today
It makes a nice change after that soaking
I got buyng my table yesterday
Some shopping and some comedy learning
While Carla was Caffe Nero working
When she came home she was too tired to go
Her legs were tired, needed to be lying
Down, for sure. So I left her and met Joe
In town and he drove me to today's 'show'
A housewarming party where I could play
Those same songs again that I'd been playing
At Comedy Balloon four days ago
Which was strange - in her garden! - heard the neigh-
bour trimming his tree, and birds low-flying

3670 - Someone left Manchester out in the rain

Well what a day, got absolutely soaked
Not once but twice! It started off normal
I began my day by rehearsing jokes
For tomorrow's housewarming party, full
Of local comics that shouldn't be dull
Then went shopping for a bathmat and searched
For a small round table and chairs. Tables
In Argos weren't sui-table, so I ditched
The catalogue and later walked (not hitched)
To town in pouring rain. Asked NQ folk
In a shop where's old furniture for sale?
Mustard Tree, Oldham Road. From there I fetched
A round wooden table in the rain. Booked
Hired car to move Lou's stuff - but all's now well

3669 - Pictures from Portugal

Good to see Jo's pictures from Portugal
She's having a good time, steering a boat
Here the weather's holding up, far from cool
But for how much longer's the worried thought
Soon more heating energy must be bought
The winter coat will once more be a must
The summer Olympics a long-gone sport
The long light evenings dead, turned to burnt toast
Football I feel also to be a ghost
It will be less important now, with all
The Euro 16 aftermath. Care naught
About these idiots now. As Carla's host
Comedy must lead the way to fulfil
Our shared interest, maybe make cash to boot

3668 - Not too posh to wash

A very busy day off. Big clean-up of
Louis' room, before Carla moved in there
I washed three loads, mainly bedding, and clothes
I even dozed off briefly on sofa
Seems strange to think Louis woke up in there
This morning, and Carla's in there tonight!
Carla got here about three, up the stair-
case with her things. She went out like a light
So wasn't awake when Lou came, to meet
Him. Went with Lou to his new place. Approved
Of it, too. It's in Whalley Range, and near
Quite a few good shops. Me and C saw spots
On offer at Comedy For Sale, love
To do that, we both would. Bedtime is here...