3667 - They were 'avin' a larf

Last night was shit at the King's Arms, but not
Tonight, at the Ape and Apple, no sir
One of my best for ages. Found I got
My missing patter back, the atmosphere
Being warm and supportive much more than there
With only comics who've seen me too much
And virtually no audience, or none that care
But tonight's comedy went without hitch
Except it went so well my last song's ditched
Cos I'd used up time, chatting and whatnot
Good to see Carla, who, though tired, was her
Usual livewire self, and did good onstage
Also saw Janet again. Such a lot
Of fun, let it carry on who knows where

3666 - Three and three sixes

Three and three sixes, total twenty-one
That's the number of this sonnet today
Ten years approaches of this form of fun
Or, if not fun, then duty, some might say
Soon (if I remember) I'll mark the day
On the 5th of September, year 16
I started on that date in '06, way
Back when the world was black and white, or seemed
I didn't like the number three, I themed
A song about that once, but I have come
To accept its existence. It will stay
Despite what I think, hoped, or even dreamed
And so ten years of thought I've nightly spun
Into fourteen lines - it's work and it's play

3665 - Breakfast at Tony's

A lovely sunny day, hope that it lasts
Another week or so because Carla
Is moving in soon! Stayed in, had breakfast
After that, didn't do much, no lah lah
Although I read a bit, listened to more
Music, etc. After this, bath-time
Were going to see David Brent, before
Louis became too busy trying to sign
People up to his novel, and assign
A name to it! He has no time to waste
And as for me, the rest time's nigh over
Two nights of comedy, not learning lines
Exactly, but subjects for patter-fest
Then, on Thursday, Carla moves into here

3664 - Natto natter

A fairly intense day doing nothing
Just thinking about comedy at first
Some good flights of fancy, then did ironing
Read the online 'paper', slaked coffee thirst
Watched and listened to football, and immersed
My fork into a big pile of pasta
Which contained natto beans, was also laced
With quinoa, and gravy added flavour
With some white fish, microwaved. Weird mixture
But healthy. Added lots more listening
To my MP3 player - big new burst
Of 60s and 70s music fare
Should keep me busy learning and playing
Tiredness meant that the uke held slight interest

3663 - Content about the content

A great uke play along to David B
Duke E, the Stranglers and some Jimmy Webb
I'm getting a bit bored though already
On this long weekend, but stay in, absorb
That comedy routine. With broad brush, daub
Its structure and basic content around
The inside of your skull - turn inward, orbs
And scan repeatedly, no TV sound
To distract as you wouldn't have allowed
If you were truly working for money
This is a serious business, though that's glib
But if you want success you go to ground
And get down in the mud and get dirty
Fingernails digging for gold. It's a job!

3662 - Blip

Yesterday evening I was real naughty
I was behaving myself as usual
When, just because I was alone, really
I succumbed to an impulse, no struggle
Even though the desire was minimal
And that was to get booze and fags and go
On the balcony. Just wanted to fill
My ears with more music, so let beer flow
And, of course, smoke along to it. And so
As late as 9:30, went to Sainsbury
And then decamped to the balcony, all
The rain fell on folks, watched them come and go
But I didn't enjoy it, honestly
Or today's junk lunch. Eat, drink well - feel well!

3661 - Liberty Bell Ends

A better day than yesterday. Sonia
Got in touch, and spoken to Carla too
A bit more fun at work, what with Farah
There, not seen her there for a week or two
Weird watching Wendy Olsen talking to
People on Manchester TV channel
Some boring comedian bloke is there too
They're talking about Trump, and talking well
I'm looking forward to debates, babble
Of evasion and insult. Yes, this year
The US election will excite you
If only cos they're both ends of a bell
Would-be prez's of US Insania
And full-time inmates of a human zoo

3660 - Beached tale

Been reading comment threads about the beach
Incident in Nice, France, where recently
A lorry driver killed kids on the streets
Running them over, so mercilessly
Today the police caused great controversy
Insisting that a Muslim woman there
Removed her modest so-called burkini
Causing the bikini-clad folks to stare
And reportedly shout approval. Fear
Has taken hold lately, but did she breach
The non-religious symbols law? Hardly -
This is just about clothes, what they can wear
And cannot - hard to square with what they teach
About freedom, western democracy

3659 - Wooly belly

A hot evening, with sweaty exercise
Then uke playing and learning comedy
Fish fingers today cos I ate the pies
Yesterday, or rather, I finished the
Enormous pie that took 'pproximately
Five evenings to eat, but with an ample
Sample of beans, quinoa, a mushroomy
Helping, and basta pasta, made me full
I feel that foodwise, I am still at school
Learning new things to like, I realise
A wider palette for my palate, free
To choose from mean menus to fill plates, real
Smorgasbords of orgasmic feasts for eyes
But not too fattening for the belly

3658 - Not such an ugly mug

A busy evening, now time to wind down
A great play on the uke, getting quite good
Playing 80s and Stevie, went to town
The jazzier the better, real soul food
Talking of food, at lunchtime I got bored
And though it was raining, I walked on out
To Chinatown, some natto beans were bought
And more matcha tea, though I've no tea spout
I just pour powder in my mug, then hot
Water onto the powder, stir it round
Then drink. This is putting me in the mood
For some matcha tea right now, I've no doubt
Today it felt like quite a storm had blown
In, pathways to work covered by a flood

3657 - Its name was Rio

Been playing football quiz games with Louis
The questions are in a book that I bought
I don't know when. Played my ukulele
Before that, getting better, all self-taught
And it's the last day of Olympic sport
That, and the end, for now, of my travels
Add up to normal work boredom, a sort
Of gloom might descend on some, such travails
Would spoil their Sunday evening, give them chills
But not me, I don't care, need the money
So must accept my duty and my lot
Besides, it's fun sometimes to sweeten pills
By friendly banter, anecdotal spree
So from a work storm, that will be my port

3656 - Fun can be work

A nice day watching Olympics mainly
A bit of Facebook and a lot of rain
Popped to the shops, well, just to Sainsbury
Tried to get back into comedy brain
Principles that came to me as I'd lain
In bed one night recently, must remind
Myself of them and learn my routines, train
Sensibly, for a craft, not just a whined
Mainly made up on the spot, badly timed
Badly memorised and performed. Can't be
Like that anymore. Can't be lazy, vain
Enough to think it's easy, though I find
I can think up stuff quickly, too quickly
I must sift it like seeds and husks of grain

3655 - The blue and the grey

Just about used to being home again!
An early night, an early rise, stuff done
Like sorting out the Italy pix, then
Bought 3 new CD sets, listened to one
(Sixties, 5 CDs in all), which was fun
And played the first 70s one, playing
The uke along to it - know all those songs
Now watching the Olympics. More gold bling
Won by Nick Skelton (how's he still going?!)
Coming up, the hockey final (women)
GB v Holland - come on, Great Britain!
Much of the day we have seen rain falling
A contrast to the recent Italian
Heat and blue skies where I have just come from

3654 - Tuscany Day 4

The final day was really just about
Catching the flight home, from flat to airport
On time, which we did easily. Oh, but
We left the air-conditioning on. What sort
Of forgetfulness is that? I had bought
Some pistachios, ate some on the train to
Pisa from Florence, made Jo quite distraught
Disposing of the shells! Josie bought two
Prezzies at the airport. Impatient queue
The plane took off late, but turned round about
The Leaning Tower, white stone, green grass, so short
From that height of course, like a matchstick view
That historic building. There is no doubt
We live in lucky times - cherish the thought!

3653 - Tuscany Day 3

Woke at nine, coffee and toast, walked to bus
Then saw the bits of Florence that we missed
Like walking along the Arno, far as
The Ponte Vecchio, and the old markets
The next thing was Siena, but got pissed
Off waiting for the train, and then what's more
It ambled through the country towns, a waste
Of one and a half hours until we saw
It arrive at Siena. Made a poor
Choice of direction, walked wrong way, took us
Half an hour more to find the old town, plus
I had enormous blisters and felt sore
(Mozzy bites on my legs). Dined there, then just
In time for the train back. Blisters aren't bliss :(

Wed 17 Aug

3652 - Tuscany Day 2

Hot again, both slept in, woke 9:30
Lolled around Sonia's flat for several hours
I studied local maps trying to see
How we would get to Florence by the bus
Or maybe train. No-one to advise us
In the end, got bus 28, costing
Only 2 euros each, and little fuss
Walked round Florence, got a map, soon eating
A late lunch, then open-top bus riding
What seemed mainly around the ring road. We
Then saw the Duomo (big dome, Renaissance)
But before the river, Jo was tiring
In the heat, so no Ponte Vecchio. See
If we can go there tomorrow. Adios!

Tue 16 Aug

3651 - Tuscany Day 1

First day, and both tiring and challenging
Not much sleep, lift to airport from Tania
Straight onto plane, got there early. Finding
The car hire place was tricky, but once there
I found I'd hired it not from this airport
(Pisa / Florence) but Florence. Stupider
You could not get. What absence of forethought
After that setback, relaxed - now no fraught
Worries about parking, even crashing
Used buses and trains. Firstly, saw Pisa
And, of course, the Tower, tickets hard-fought
To use, but did it, standing way up there
Listening to bells. Sampled local cooking
(Pasta, and ice cream) - hope to sample more!

Mon 15 Aug

3650 - On my marks

I'm nearly ready to pack and head out
Early start tomorrow for the airport
Excitement and nerves rising, little doubt
This will be a challenge, almost like sport
Mainly the driving, finding ways about
Not getting lost, especially in Florence
When looking for Sonia's flat. I may spout
Some rude words, but I hope not, no nonsense
Of a rude kind for Jo's ears. Could be tense
If I drive the wrong way down a town route
I have a map, and typed directions, but
I may hopefully have a satnav, hence
There'll be more confidence. But now, my mouth
Needs feeding, so I'll end versified thought

3649 - Going for gold

Just got in after a drink with Carla
To see that there's another cycling gold
For Britain, the women, a team of four
It was good to see Carla, and I told
Her that her room's there for her, I was bold
And said I hope it happens, she agreed
Meanwhile the Olympics have taken hold
Of my attention, the emotions bleed
To see us doing so well, and our pride
Is restored after football's disaster
Earlier this summer in France, when we could
Not do the basics, millionaire brains fried
Yet here we are in Rio, all can share
In the elation, Britain's trademark sold

3648 - Tea for three

I'm out tonight with D and N, not C
C is tired, she's been out most evenings
This week, to several nights of comedy
She's probably already better known in
Local establishments specialising
In laughs, but she's so fearless,, doesn't care
Maybe I can learn from that, forgetting
My reserve that just holds me back. A pair
Of friends meeting me tonight, not for beer
But for tea and a snack, though there might be
A pint or two later. Then I'm staying
In Saturday, but seeing C after
She finishes work in Deansgate's Cafe
Nero. Italy looms! It's exciting!!!

3647 - Lingo Bingo

I've done the last chapter of the Instant
Italian (chapter 6). Now I just need
To revise the whole book, and then I've spent
The last month wisely, and planted the seed
Of the lingo before going. Indeed
I wish I could learn more. Maybe an app
If time allows, method I've never tried
When we get there it'll all be on tap
Italian everywhere when we look up
Although increasingly, this global tent
Is dominated by English. We read
It in the shop names, cafes where we sup
The road signs saying STOP (like in England)
Now for some uke and Olympics, then bed!

3646 - The one that finally got away

Another busy tiring day at the
Office, nipping out to get my euro's
At about 2:15, eventually
Getting away about 4:30, those
Tasks being ticked off one by one as those
Days left before Italy dwindle down
To two more workdays and the weekend's close
I've once more failed to do Italian
In the evening, and time has almost gone
But still time to do it Thursday, Friday
And Saturday, as I'm not seeing Jose
Until Sunday evening. We'll soon be brown
From Italian sunshine, well, hopefully
Great uke playing tonight - deserve my doze!

3645 - Flat out

The Olympics are now well underway
The women's gymnastics - bronze possible
There were a few fourth places yesterday
Always the most frustrating of them all
An intense, demanding work day, then stroll
To Vee's flat, ate a pie, drank a coffee
And chatted, then hired a van to move all
Her stuff back in that had been at Robbie
And Dan's flat nearby. Brought towels, books with me
That Vee gave away, then I made my way
Back home, slight shower as I neared Liverpool
Road, carrying these things. Too tired for the
Italian practice now. Don't need to stay
Up late, need an early one, no struggle

3644 - Friendship never ends...

A fun night messaging and playing uke
Did exercises, but no Italian
However, tomorrow, I won't rebuke
Myself if I do my Italian then
And I must also practice my routine
I sketched out Sunday morning for the gig
At Comedy Balloon, end August, in
The Ape and Apple. I don't care a fig
If it's brilliant or not, they just won't dig
Me if I don't thoroughly learn it. Fluke
It's not, a good act, hard work, discipline
All that boring stuff's vital. I must think
Of the end goal, not the lead-up, take stock
Of Adam Peaty's swimming gold, and win!

3643 - Night thoughts 1

It's been a full day, and a fun night out
Last night I lay in bed with productive
Use of that time, by focusing my thought
On what to do with my comedy. Gave
It some thought in the dark, what I believe
I should do with my act, how to progress
It helped me to doze off, but still I strove
To think of a strategy, did my best
As I grew more tired, to plan my success
Because I normally just drift and sort
Of wing it, don't learn it properly, a half-
Hearted attempt at best. Well I attest
That first thing today I fully wrote out
Those thoughts on paper, honest as I live

3642 - Cycle of sport

Nice day out at my flat with Josephine
Watching (four years late) the opening show
Of the London Olympics! Rio's in
Progress now, cycling road race done, don't know
Whether Froome won it yet, but first, it's so
Football, Championship highlights are on next
Did Derby beat Brighton? Go Rams. Please, go!
Four seasons of let-downs, any pretext
It seems, used to throw it away. Got vexed
Hope Pearson sorts discipline in the team
My Man United package still no show
Our membership cards are where? I'm perplexed...
Forest beat Burton 4-3. Quite a scene
In the East Midlands (Leicester champions) now

3641 - You're taking the Michael, Foot

I just wanna rest on this Friday night
Last night I struggled to drop off, got aches
In feet, couldn't get comfortable, I tried
For ages, news bulletins were replaced
By others and then by others, a taste
Of endless repetition, maybe of
Eternity? In unchanging bed placed
Then at some point I did black out, above
Or below the cares of the world, its love
Hate and indifference. One more week to glide
Through at work, then holiday - sun in spades
A shot of vitamin D courtesy of
Tuscany, on an autostrada ride
Sonia Torretti's flat's where we'll be based!

3640 - Yes they can

Just listening to Tomorrow - Claramount
Lake. Steve Howe's guitar does the rock business
Just posted pix on FB, just about
Building sites in Salford, scaffolding, mess
Hard hats, boots, dirty hands and wolf whistles
Actually, no, that was just a cliche
I never heard those sounds through my headset
Was listening to Taste walking on the way
To work along Salford's Trinity Way
These hard-hatted men WERE working there, out
In numbers, while I walked to the office
I'm in, or will be, while they're out. Do they
Embody Brexit? Give that plank a clout,
Bill. More flats, more shops and more offices

3639 - You've gotta laugh or else I'll cry

Quite a day. Carla the Italian is
Planning on moving in, will it happen?
Met her after work, showed her the flat, she's
In favour of it all at this moment
I hope the room will be free but by then
If it's not, then I'm not sure if it will
She rushed off home by bus, then out again
We went to comedy, Ape and Apple
The downstairs deserted as usual
But upstairs, lots there, The acts were a buzz
I laughed a lot and had plenty of fun
And in the break we signed up for the bill
On the last day of August, so don't miss
The show, cos we will both be performin'

3638 - Pub life

Dave was ill and absent tonight at the
Worst Comedy Night in Salford in the
King's Arms, Bloom Street, Salford, that's the
Usual venue, folk turned up, as per
Usual, some people were usuals, some were
Not, these guys were pissheads, way out of the
Normal zone, who were they? Didn't know the
Guys, some were from Liverpool, and some were
From Manchester or from that vague area
It was surreal, so surreal that we went for a
Beer at the Gas Lamp afterwards, Carla
Was there, and Carmen from Spain (Sevilla)
I got slightly drunk, I ain't shittin' ya
Now here I am, drunk, first time for a while, yeah, yeah

3637 - Yawn oh good

I'm too tired to do much this evening, but
If I knuckle down, now I've had my tea
I only need two more hours and minutes
Of keeping productive, keeping busy
Two things: Italian, and then comedy
Need to be done, I'll do my best to do
My best to learn these things, due tutti
It's not hard as climbing Macchu Picchu
A steep mountain and temple in Peru
An early night will be a little beaut
Once I've done those two things, even briefly
I'll lie down, curl up, dribble on pillow
Bed's a great invention, it floats my boat
Don't say you don't like it - you're shittin' me