4996 - The balance of probabilities

Around midday I broke off work to join
In with some workmates based down in Leicester
For my first yoga session, all online
It might've proved tricky, but I felt the
Benefit of my recent regular
Press-up and abs sessions upon the mat
I found the balance position harder
Than expected. Right leg couldn't support
My body when I stuck my left knee out
I couldn't stop wobbling, it was such fun!
That's something to improve in the future
Who knew it was so tricky? I've just got
To practice my balancing on just one
Leg, until my balance becomes super!

4995 - Waterloo after sunset

Tonight I'm watching a film, Waterloo
Starring Rod Steiger as Napoleon
After three or four nights when sleep took too
Few hours, too tired to do much once again
Played devilish good uke though, glam rock once reigned
And returned to the throne here in my flat
Last night, couldn't sleep, got up, buried in
My excellent Stephen King book. I sat
On the sofa, half-dressed in the cold, but
Was engrossed in my reading, and when through
After reaching a good place for stopping
Was still wide awake, but the lack of heat
And the disappearing night forced me to
Try to sleep a while, until work began

4994 - I spied a spider

Just ate some chicken, and I enjoyed it
After a few beers, just had to chill out
Got the heat on, surprised a little bit
But it's gone cold, of that there is no doubt
I'm tanned though from last week from head to foot
I'm glad the rain has come. April was dry
And I'm sure there'll be more sun soon. Without
Much sleep these last few nights, my eyes don't cry
They ache, but I've exercised, built up my
Muscles nicely and I'm feeling quite fit
Watching a film to make kids scream and shout
Blood-sucking spiders roam the house, they die
One by one. Will the kids survive this shit?
I'll soon see what the end is all about

4993 - Mr Clean not Mr Bean

Clean since Saturday evening, paying off
Although tired, still did exercises and
Just now, this evening, uke session take-off
My mind felt clearer than usual, my hands
Obeyed my quick mind, and in wonderland
A lifetime's dreaming turned reality
As like a god, was able to command
My fingers to go where they had to be
And at the speed of thought, yes, instantly
Am enjoying being clean right now, no bluff
I know it won't last, but just for instance
I'm reading at last, about '63
And Dallas, a Stephen King book, and tough
Arms and stomach muscles, yes it feels grand!

4992 - Don't mess up the press-ups

Time's dragging today, too tired to do much
Though managed exercises, so on course
To repeat 7 out of 7, such
An achievement last week, the best for years
Or ever, working out all 7 days
So I want to continue and make it
A daily routine that I never pause
I'm back up to a hundred press-ups with
110 the record I hit
Two days ago. Wonder if I can nudge
It higher, and how much more can I raise
It? 150 the target?
200? 300? Could see a surge
A real incentive to stay health-conscious

4991 - Happy feet

Been clean today, and that's an achievement
Considering it's a sunny Saturday
Evening, but drank too much on Thursday. Felt
A bit rough Friday, drank wine but no way
Did I enjoy it. Decided I would stay
Home, not go out for more, and soup went down
Nicely before bed. Even so, today
Still felt rough early on, and a bit down
But soon cheered up. At lunchtime, headed down
Stairs to sit on the grass. Second day spent
Getting a tan. My feet look more healthy
They've gone from purest white to a light brown
At four, Vee's history quiz. I won. Second
Quiz I've won in less than even one day

4990 - Souper douper

I drank the most useless bottle of wine
Although it only cost me just five quid
Should've known it wouldn't do much, now I'm
Forced to have soup and bit of bread instead
But feel better for it, dehydrated
Before, now I feel better and ready
For a night's sleep and I won't feel as bad
As I'd have done if I'd gone out for three
Or more cans. Slight headache from yesterday
This evening, took part in a quiz, and won!
The first one with Helen's friends that I did
Come top in! That's an achievement for me!
And now I'm in an energy decline
Think I'll just read, drink water, go to bed!

4989 - Sardine removal machine

And so it's time before I go to bed
To do my diary, though it's easier not
But I'd rather do it now than to dread
Tomorrow, knowing it was in the pot
Of tasks. Time's short, especially Fridays. Got
To be free far as possible, enjoy
The weekend, break loose, just be free to float
So I'll do this now, though I'm a bad boy
Not eaten this evening, I used the ploy
Of beer as a reward, and that's instead
Of food, and now my stomach's in a knot
It's making noises, trying to destroy
My peace of mind. Got sardines though. If fed
On those quickly now, I might gain comfort

4988 - The big (enforced) read

Another sunny day, but always there
Seems to be a cold wind around the place
Makes staying in easier. Hope when summer
Comes, we can go out, enjoy time and space
And enjoying not just a pretty face
My plan tonight - the mini-series 'Quiz'
Had rave reviews, so my plan is to base
Myself around my laptop and to lose
Myself in at least one episode. There's
Only three to watch in all. There's a fair
Chance if I'm hooked I'll watch it all. Replaced
My finished book with Louis' Christmas prez
To me, my first Stephen King book ever
And JFK's death date is when it's based

4987 - Good but boring

Although it's boring staying good and clean
It does have benefits. You get more done
Whatever, today I was determined
To finish work early, get flexi down
A bit, and I exercised early on
Re-wrote comedy scripts for videos
The first already filmed this afternoon
In time to watch the coronavirus
Daily briefing, and fried some great sea bass
While it was on. The truth is, I'm real keen
To play my uke before two films come on
Europa Report, Eye In The Sky, just
Into films right now when I'm relaxing
They entertain while I'm stuck in lockdown

4986 - Guess Who's Having A TV Dinner

Another day in lockdown. Work finally
Done, thought about a walk in the late sun
To avoid all responsibility
To make a new video, but what was on
A TV film channel?  Marlon, in On
The Waterfront, then Mary Queen of Scots
Vanessa Redgrave and Glenda Jackson
And then, To Sir With Love - they got the hots
For Sidney Poitier, just like they got
In Guess Who's Coming To Dinner. Lately
I've really been entertained, more than once
A day sometimes by the classic films put
On Sony Movie Classics, channel 50
And I feel satisfied that I stayed in!

4985 - Bedding in

Sunday, and almost a normal Sunday
Much like any other Sunday. Sunny
But quite chilly, not quite a lovely day
Wore my coat while queuing for Sainsbury
Got beer in, had a few, felt quite cheery
Didn't do all I should, but exercised
Press-ups, did 85, not quite 90
Did a song lyrics sketch, with a few likes
I hope folk found it funny, I surmised
They did. Tomorrow, it's a purple day
T-shirt and hair-wise, channelling Jimi
I feel weary now, bit de-energised
So bed here I come, I am on my way
Watched Snatched, Amy Schumer, minor hee hee

4984 - All aboard for quiztime

Not done too much today, but read a book
For first time for a while, watched two films which
Were Wuthering Heights, the '39 classic
Then, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner. Then lunch
And my reading, and soon quiz time approached
My 10-round music quiz was all prepared
10 rounds proved too long, but some fun was hatched
Lasted from 4 to 8, loud chatter flared
And by my funny questions all were cheered
It's fun on Fridays and Saturdays. Took
Part in quizzes three weeks now, no tech hitch
New habits, new games that we have all shared
Will no doubt continue beyond this lock-
down. Quizzes, a fun way to reach and teach

4983 - Quiz Night

Busy day at work, at home, Friday does
Often to seem to work out that way. Sunny
But a chilly wind as I joined the queues
Outside Sainsbury's at lunchtime with the
Intention of buying beer and stuff. Then re-
sumed work, coronavirus related
Emergency measures, but at four, we
That is, me and Helen, began our chat
With a quiz at seven in which I did
Okay but didn't win the blasted quiz
But last week I won one, my family
Quiz, on literature. I've now completed
Tomorrow's music quiz. Resumed the buzz
Of video chat with Helen, then sleepy....

Fri 17 April

4982 - Bottom of the pops

It's Thursday. I think. Hard to tell these days
Did quiz research first, and had some ideas
For a comedy sketch, not that it pays
But it's fun to think up and do, I guess
Filmed at home, there's no travel expenses
And it doesn't take me long to do it
It never has. It suits my laziness
I've done so many now, feel less a tit
If people don't watch, that don't make it shit
Popularity, I don't know its ways
But then so many don't. Even success
Is no guarantee of that, not one bit
Played good uke, a few soul numbers. My craze
For music is something that never dies

4981 - Four bottles

Oh shit, I just had to have a chillout
Session, and it was good, who cares, my mind
Needed a break, and I needed an out
From modern shit that encroaches, unkind
I'm happy now, have had a big unwind
And I'm ready for bed, covers come here
Cover my head, let me slowly grow blind
Forget all of this shit and all the fear
Let me regress to darkness all too clear
Who cares what years have gone by since without
I remain me, and it's time to unwind
I haven't eaten, but it's too late, be a
Little forgiving for this lad. A shout
Out to the greats, now pull down all the blinds!

4980 - Held to account

Back to work - boo! - but I am still lucky
To have a job that pays me just the same
As it did before this pandemic we
Are struggling through. For me it's fairly tame
I feel sorry for others who remain
Without a job now or even prospects
Of a job, especially if they are payin'
Rent or a mortgage. How do they protect
Their futures, or even keep cheerful? Next
Month or two should see money gradually
Paid out to those in need, and that it's stayin'
In their accounts. Hope someone won't collect
It back in two months' time, as they'll still be
In need then. Government - don't then reclaim!

4979 - Good is boring

I'm finding it quite hard to concentrate
There's a film on - it's A Taste of Honey
Set in Salford along time ago. Wait -
Is that what the Quays used to look like? The
Ads are on now so I'll write this quickly
As I can before the film starts again
Might get some sandwiches soon to give me
A treat, seeing I've no beer. Recovering
From last night's binge and music listening
Which made me feel closer to Helen. Great
Fun doing the quiz with her and her friends. We
Got almost the same score. As usual, seem
To be so similar. This morning I wrote
More of my music quiz for Saturday

4978 - Magical Pisstery Tour

The third day of this long Easter weekend
Has already gone, and it seemed so quick
I woke early, and felt tired, but went
On to do some music quiz questions. Slick!
I went back to sleep for two hours. I slipped
Asleep so nicely, so luxurious
I could have slept longer, but had to nip
Out of it to do stuff, like videos
And then a fun Family Fortunes quiz
I got four bottles in, but reached the end
So soon, I need more, and I need it quick
I'll do this sonnet and then I will whizz
To the garage to buy beer and extend
The fun, the White Album I must hear quick!

4977 - I know my John Bunyans

Much more relaxed, though still no time to waste
Wrote song lyrics for a musical sketch
It wasn't hot enough to have sunbathed
Fifth exercise session this week - I stretched
And pulled my muscles taut. Ate. Then I fetched
The next Bony Tony t-shirt - it's pink
I knew then the Punk Panther would well match
My pink shirt and hair, and it matched a punk
Version of the Pink Panther tune, I thunk…
But had less than an hour til the quiz. Haste
Was then required. Listened a few times, checked
The chords to play on the uke, a quick plink
Then launched into it, in the best of taste
Then won the lit quiz, as they all expect...

4976 - Unstable table

On a whim this morning I cleaned the floor
But knocked over and broke my round table
What a shame, and how do I get one more
When everything's closed? I am unable
But when the charity shop opens, well
It's just over the road, has furniture
So fingers crossed I'll a suitable
Replacement when I finally look in there
Recorded a fun sketch involving the
Queen singing and tap dancing - more and more
Weird get my ideas, but not unstable
In fact I'm enjoying lockdown. I'm here
In my flat, and time saved makes it easier
To film sketches to entertain people

Fri 10 April

4975 - From beer to eternity

Very tired after lying awake for hours
Last night, because I was so energised
Unable to stop a flood of ideas
And thoughts. Then slept a bit, but paid the price
Today. I was too tired to exercise
But buoyed by it being the last day before
A long Easter weekend, with some blue skies
My plan was to doze off on the sofa
But messages kept coming from Tanya
And Ian. However, fun interferes
With rest, and it stopped me closing my eyes
Now I was even more tired, so drank beer
Intended for tomorrow, let the fuss
Die down, get to bedtime, no more duties

Thur 9 April

4974 - Howay the sads

I had a good day at the office - no!
How can that be, when we're all working at
Home? And the sun shone. Decided to go
Join the Sainsbury's queue for food and that
Keep two meters away, you bloody prat!
Afterwards, exercised, third time this week
Did 90 press-ups today on the mat
One prick does handstands outside - what a geek
All on his own, showing off, takes a peek
To see if anyone's looking, ho ho
Only to laugh, mate. Hope you fall down flat!
Recorded a vid, then got out my uke
Pleased with today's comedy film. I know
I'm good at ad lobbing. Think I nailed it!

4973 - I'll be coming down the mountain when I come

I feel as though I'm through the hardest part
Work-wise, I feel like the struggle's plateaued
And I can see the sunlit lowlands treat
Me to a pleasant view, descending road
Winding its leisurely way as I stride
Taking in the pleasant spring air en route
Who do I think I'm kidding? I'm supplied
With so much work I wanna parachute
Off this mountain into a pool, and float
See blue sky up above, feel the sun's heat
Dreaming of travel, leaving my abode
It will be difficult, there's no dispute
All flights and rooms will sell out in a heart
Beat, and also will cost a barrel-load

4972 - Prime sinister

Coronavirus is getting serious
If people didn't take it seriously
They will now Boris Johnson's tremendous
Struggle to shake it off is on TV
In intensive care, shocking you and me
No matter what we think of his background
And right-wing conservative policy
He's still a person, though not underground
But famous, best wishes should still resound
And we should all do what they have told us
And tolerate this pause on liberty
Some reporters questioned if there were grounds
For lockdown, and when it would be made less
Inconvenient. Please act as we should be!

4971 - Mexico Ditty

A pleasant day, got most of my tasks done
Exercised, recycled, cleared out old files
And put main ones I use in desk drawer in
The living room. Rang Mum and Josie, smiles
Created, I hope! Watched a 60's style
Dean Martin film, fun, fighting, sexy girls
Then deleted almost all my emails
Though kept a few faves, e.g. my travels
Or interesting links, or other marvels
But the highlight - filming my Mexican
Song medley at last. Been waiting a while!
Big hat put away, shaved off my stubbles
Doing subtitles when this sonnet's written
A fun weekend, with things achieved in piles!

4970 - The new Mr Clean

A day dominated by flat-cleaning
I was about to do exercises
Then began clearing out and tidying
The room, which was full of rubbish, old shoes
Coats and caps I never wear, and won't miss
Were tossed out like the rubbish that they are
And other things were moved out. Now there's space
In there. Even the wardrobe's much better
Inside. After a late lunch, began the
Task of tidying the tings in the living-
Room store cupboard, containing suitcases
Underneath which was chaos, disorder
Now all neat, and mould treated, all looking
Great, and in there were my cables for guitars

4969 - All night long

Intense day's work from 10 til two-thirty
Then nipped out to the Co-Op for some beer
Then a call from my manager, thirty
Minute chat, then it's time for beer and cheer
As Friday night approached, called Helen. We're
Chatting by video link. It lasted all
Evening, including a fun quiz with her
Friends in the Leigh area, living rooms full
Of families, or like us, single people
Alone in our houses or flats, then we
Resumed the call once more, me with my beer
Her with her Bailey's. Bottle started full
And ended empty. I listened as she
Hissed at Cats' Protection. Midnight was here!

4968 - Justice in time

So tired, woke early, put in a long day
No energy for videos tonight
On and off, had the TV news on. They
Are talking 'how many?' - the usual great
Interest in fatality numbers. Spate
Of dramatic 'stories' as news folk call
'News' items, the more harsh some poor guy's fate
The better the 'story' of that guy's fall
What happened to Weinstein? So forgetful
When something 'better' comes along. But they
Banged him up just in time, before courts shut
Up shop, and juries couldn't congregate
Celebrities film themselves, there's no way
To find camera crews. We feel for their plight!!

4967 - No holiday - celebrate

I was tired, woke early, but lots to do
At work, and did it all, and even more
Had to celebrate with drink when all through
So soon bed will be welcome, I am sure
Slight headache, even, tiredness plus beer
But it's been a good day, no doubt of that
Ready to do tomorrow, when it's here
Played uke, no recording today, but had
To listen repeatedly like a mad
Man to the tracks I'd hoped yesterday to
Play just like that. Realised I had to hear
Them more to play them well in film format
Will listen further tomorrow, renew
My knowledge, will be all the better for