4966 - If music be the food of rejection...

Felt a bit better after bleary start
Finished by five, hopeful of an easy
Video tonight, no words to make it hard
Few subtitles to type, so there was me
Eating, thinking all optimistically
Just play some loneliness tunes, was the plan
Anticipate jazz methodology
Just do it, no boring rehearsal, plain
I didn't need it, confident my brain
And fingers would play the medley, and what
A surprise to viewers those skills would be!
Chose clothes, lamplight, ornate backdrop, yes, and
Not til 8:30 had I built my set
But can't post it, because I played badly

4965 - Walls have ears

Woke up early, but had gone to bed late
Knocking back booze watching Amy Winehouse
And Michael Jackson documentaries. State
I was in, I did well, worked extra hours
Worked until six, with calls that time devours
Or is it the calls that devour the time?
Missed exercises out, ate, while ideas
About tonight's video were in my mind
I sat in the hall between doors, trying
To find a way to sound-proof, insulate
My embarrassing sketches from neighbours'
Ears, speaking too quietly. Almost a crime
I feel I must whisper, harming my art
And reducing the YouTube view numbers

Mon 30 March

4964 - Video ketchup

It seems as though the subtitling has not
Been a waste of time, I can see them on
YouTube at least. although there was a spot
Of bother, not visible on my phone
Last night I thought I'd worked hard but I'd blown
It, wasted my time, got depressed and stopped
Drinking, ate cos I was hungry, then gone
To bed, although a part of me still hoped
It had worked, and it had. Now I have popped
Subtitles on five songs, now they might get
More views on YouTube, that is what I want
I'm encouraged now, learn to edit, crop
Reveal, merge, combine, do the simple shit
Others are all doing, and long have been

4963 - Grey day

What a day, what an evening, ended bad
I exercised for the sixth time this week
I recorded a video in my bed-
Room, despite neighbour noises. Don't be meek
I thought. Screw them, don't be afraid, snowflake!
It was Gay Bar, become Grey Bar. Not great
Singing, must up my game, vocals were weak
I must improve, or it is all a waste
Of time. Ideas are strong, but I must face
The vocal challenge, or the vids look sad
I haven't uploaded it though. Tried to seek
Out help for adding subtitles. And twice
I painstakingly did them. But I could
Not see them on my phone. IT's a freak!

4962 - Your good health!

Today Boris Johnson caught the virus
And also Matt Hancock, Health Minister
Plus Chief Medical Adviser in this
Outbreak, Chris Whitty. What a strange affair
The three who appeared in the media
More than any others to give advice
On keeping apart, going home, staying there
Now those three have themselves caught the disease
Though their symptoms are mild. Then followed this -
Louis rang to say he'd caught the virus
Though his symptoms are milder than younger
Half-sister Josephine's were, but what's nice
Is she's fully recovered, and is
Studying again. Lou, get well like her!

4961 - In suspense

A lovely sunny day. people lying
On the grass, some doing exercises
Some phone calls meant I failed in finishing
The main work to be done, but no crisis
While tax inspections are halted through this
Coronavirus epidemic all
Around, suspending most activities
My lot is easy, some have terrible
Lives right now, no wages, having to kill
Time at home with no work, or arguing
Spouses and kids, and domestic abuse
Health workers made to work until they're ill
At eight there was supposed to be clapping
For carers. I heard none from these houses

Thur 26 March

4960 - A day in the laugh

I need an early night, with no drinking
It's no fun when you're tired, really, is it?
But before it's too late in the evening
Each of the last few nights I've done a skit
Or song of some kind for the internet
Seven in a row since starting this scheme
Of daily comedy videos and yet
I'm not worried I'll run out of a theme
I could just waffle, won't run out of steam
Now that I've started, there'll be no stopping
This sonnet diary, that was just the start
Since September '06, how long I've been
Writing it. Now I can add one more thing
That's daily - a video comedy hit!

4959 - Freaky Tuesday

Stuck at home again of course, have to be
Mainly indoors, though the weather's quite nice
I see lots of joggers pass close by me
On the pavements, and that cannot be right
Breathing heavily. OK, exercise
Might be allowed, once a day, but they take
It too far, acting contrary to advice
Yes, exercise, but in doing so, don't break
The 2 metre distance rule, for they make
Those rules to save lives, not for us to see
Your fitness regime. Gym freaks, paradise
Lost to them, competitiveness mistake
OK, it's nice they want to keep healthy
But they should keep back from my mouth and eyes

Tue 24th March

4958 - Our good health!

The working week once more, I think at least
Hard to know workdays from weekends right now
Felt tired by 3pm, not quite the beast
I thought I was! But still I then got down
On the exercise mat for press-ups, How
I miss when I could manage a hundred
Press-ups, only did 70, but no
Surprise really, given I've not been good
FaceTimed Helen, an hour and a half chewed
The fat, that was fun, isolationists
Joining through technology still somehow
Ate food, got booze, a video posted
Then watched Prometheus, aliens' human feast
Once more back to the news - we're in lockdown!

4957 - Here comes the Sunday

Starting to be unsure what day it is
It's Sunday, wasn't sure if it's Monday
When I woke up, being home each day in this
Crazy situation. Most are OK
Some have had the disease. My family
Has been affected, little Josephine
Had the fever, and Pearl in Italy
Has been in lockdown and in quarantine
Spoke to Pearl on the phone, time of meaning
For all, though this weekend, some took the piss
Footage of crowded parks, some think that they
Can carry on as normal, their routine
Self-centred, narcissistic, but they miss
The point that we should go home and just stay

Sun 22 March

4956 - Self isolation

Today I planned to do 'self-isolate'
As a theme, and wrote lyrics this morning
Listening to a 70s song that's great
Called 'It's Too Late' by that there Carole King
From 'Tapestry', that's a familiar ring
An early 70s classic album
Allied to the coronavirus thing
Thought I could match it to wiping your bum
And self-isolating and staying home
It was OK but I should have done more takes
Then I'd have sang it better, no doubting
Lessons learned and all that, I must become
Willing to put more work in not frustrate
My talent with laziness, so I think

4955 - Bog standard

So yesterday was Friday the twentieth
I worked quite hard at home on note-taking
And then turned my attention to the stuff
I'd planned to do later in the evening
Which was Bog N Roll, I thought it a thing
Which went well, only two views, dunno why
People not yet convinced, or deciding
They've better things to watch rather than I
Could it be that the online stats they lie?
Nineteen views for the night before's post, with
A worse performance. It is perplexing
I hope to improve viewings by and by
Can only do that by design and stealth
It could take a while, but must keep trying

Fri 20 March

4954 - Let's work together

Working at home as we all are, but then
Went wandering in Manchester, the buses
Were regular, restaurants and pubs open
More work, then rang Helen, arranging us
To meet tomorrow night for one last piss
Up before it's too late, lockdown is near
Maybe, UK has done U-turns on this
And may do again, out of the real fear
Coronavirus is both far and here
I must see her one more time 'fore the ban
I want one last chance to enjoy that Miss
Furthermore I deserve it, let's be clear
No longer care, the time is ripe, I'm in
The mood, nothing will stop me, no, not yes

4953 - Absinthe makes it hard to ponder

A reasonable day at home, working
Bit tired and hungover, to be honest
From last night and some absinthe imbibing
But coped okay, overcame mental mist
Gradually, as the online meetings forced
My brain into action. Facebooked a bit
But in the back of my mind, knew the test
Of success today would be doing a vid
What's more, though not til 9pm, I did
And it was based on today's news breaking
About schools closing from Friday. That's best
But it should've been long done, not delayed
A short speech culminating in a song
But couldn't put it on YouTube, damn, blast!

4952 - OK work computer

First day under the coronavirus
Pandemic that work at home was imposed
Only advised by the government as
Of last night, but I was sent home, I suppose
Cos I admitted that it has caught Jo's
Teenage body by surprise. Must be wide-
Spread, many thousands have it, I would guess
Good news - I waited til Harry had bid
Goodbye for 3 weeks, then opened the lid
Of my work surface pro. To my surprise
I got it working through how, well, God knows
And thanks to some new software downloaded
In the office before I left, it was
As good as in the office. On work goes!

4951 - Should've been in Prague Day 5

Yes, even today, should've been in Prague
Although the flight was early-ish, it's true
And we'd have been back in Manchester, back
By lunchtime, but we left on Friday, flew
Back after just one night, robbed of a new
And fabulous time, irreplaceable
Memories and excitement. Can't even do
Anything here now either, once the full
Lockdown begins in a week, probable
The day's leave spent busily, but the rug
Pulled at 5pm on the TV news
All social activity has to fall
By the wayside, the virus in its rage
Is shutting us all down just like wars do

4950 - Should've been in Prague Day 4

So although me and Helen should have still
Been enjoying the flat and holiday
I woke at home, and felt the giddy feel
Of having drank too much watching telly
Last night. Today spent hours on phone to the
Other family members, talk was all
About guess what? Coronavirus. Me
Mother had no clue of the risks, appalled
At her blasé attitude. Brother, small
If any knowledge of it either. Kill
Our Mum, potentially then mate, make way
To her bungalow, hug and then touch all
Her door-handles and kitchen things. You will
Not be stopped by her. Told him anyway

4949 - Should've been Prague Day 3

Woke after a good night in the Ibis
Budget Hotel, Luton Airport. Breakfast
Then taxi, then fast train to St Pancras
On to Euston, I read while Helen crashed
Out for a nap. Did not quite have the blast
We envisaged. Free bus to her bus stop
Then struggled home with heavy bag, then fast
As I could to buy essentials in shops
Then Harry said, in absinthe I should drop
Some burned sugar cube powder, and then this
Turned into a mad hunt and a hard task
No stores had sugar cubes, I shopped and shopped
Until Marks and Sparks food hall did the biz
And I drank four shots while I movie-watched

Sat 14 March

4948 - Prague Day 2

Didn't get much sleep, neither did Helen
The flat was warm, kept throwing bedclothes off
Before long, Helen was checking her phone
The news was bad, borders were closing off
And Monday's flight home's prospects looking rough
I rang easyJet, they couldn't help us
Said we could switch flights for free, but too tough
To do that in such a rush. Hel had sussed
We had to get flights booked, paid in a rush
Before all seats were sold, and us marooned
She chose Luton, booked hotel rooms. Enough?
No - she even booked train back north. Goodness!
What a star! Let's hope we can get refunds
But at least we're not stranded and cut off

Fri 13 March

4947 - Prague Day 1

Day one of the Prague trip, In Manchester
I popped to the art shop for my drawing
Stuff, then met Helen for a coffee, the
Usual place. The plane was full of shouting
Lads, probably a stag do. Taxi charging
Too much. Pavel, Air BnB host, said
All restaurants were suddenly now closing
At 8, and no more flights to Czech, so I'd
Thought we'd got lucky, but may have misled
Myself. Czech's closing its borders sooner
Than we expected or were predicting...
Our late night in that bar, we drank and fed
It was the last late night there in Czechia
It shuts down at 8 from now on. Shocking!

Thur 12 March

4946 - Czech mate

Last night at home before Prague with Helen
I had two bottles once home, then I ate
No main course, just four eggs in the fridge. Then
I added all the mushrooms I had left
That's filled me up enough. The weather's wet
But who cares, as long as tomorrow day
It doesn't rain on me walking to meet
Helen at Costa near Piccadilly
Packed bag, think I am now almost ready
Got tomorrow morning to think again
What more I need, preparation complete
Excitement building, feeling quite giddy
The best girl I could wish for to share an
Amazing trip with. Let's insist on fun

4945 - Hair today

Another long day at work but was good
I'm back on track with Soft Drinks just before
I go on holiday. One more day's head
Down, then a few days of fun in Prague for
A chance to let my hair down, not a bore
Coronavirus hysteria won't stop
Bog roll was scarce in Sainsbury's, one more
Small pack obtained, enough to prevent slop
And nothing to wipe it with when it drops
This trip's just in time. One month more, it could
Have been impossible to go on tour
Abroad and go out at night, what a flop
A few drinks tonight, but not quite a flood
Now bedtime's here, I hope that I don't snore...

4944 - Soft thinks industry

Predictably busy with the Soft Drinks
Industry Levy, no preparation
Done for the Prague trip. I needed to fix
Currency and travel insurance. When
Tomorrow's call is over, I'll be gone
Out to the shops to sort it out, come what
May, and I'm getting excited again
This time it should be good, or my name's not
Bony Tony. This Prague trip should be hot
And I don't mean the weather. There'll be kicks
Aplenty, if I realise plans for fun
Another horror film, Rupture. Not shit
I hope, like last night's late film. Films showing
What mad fantasies are thought up by some!

4943 - Lucky Tony

Can't be bothered doing much, I'm afraid
I'm happy doing nothing much at all
Already watched my first film, a parade
Of outdated manners, societal
Rear view mirror, time-travel spectacle
An old novel I read but then forgot
Lucky Jim. At first it was a struggle
But settled into it, old-fashioned but
Well acted, even laughed out loud a bit
Jim's scrapes reminded me of me, it made
A good backdrop for a nice lunchtime meal
Tonight, another film - it's Suffragette
Think I've seen it before. Like a Lombard
Trapped in virus-hit Milan, waits my Pearl

4942 - They couldn't get the staff

A nice day out in town with Josephine
On what was a pleasant early spring day
Nice because it was two weeks since I've seen
Her, not since Portugal, and I'm away
Next weekend myself, Czech Republic way
She was friendly and chatty, and we ate
At Bella Italia, Cote Brasserie
Being short of kitchen staff, so our plates
Were pasta-filled, our buds enjoyed the taste
Then Caffe Nero, then the silver screen
Watched Fantasy Island, it was okay
Quite clever in imaginative ways
But we were confused by the closing scenes
Back home, gave my ukulele a play

4941 - Funny girl

A good Friday, shorter hours worked, about time
Saw Helen for a lunchtime meal and drink
She got the taste, and we met one more time
And had more, building up to Prague, thrilling
Stuff, lovely girl, so funny, not boring
Now more beers as I listen to music
But now my headphones they need recharging
And so I'll have to do without music
I'll need to see what films are on, I'll flick
Around the channels, see what's on and I'm
Gonna watch one, then into stupor sink
I assume Friday night there'll be a flick
I can watch, then sink into the night time
Satiated, though I might feel slightly sick

4940 - Dahmer drama

So tired, my fault for late night film-watching
American Assassin had a great
Opening scene, with bikini-wearing
Girl machine-gunned, victim of racial hate
The hero plots revenge in various states
As Russia sells nukes to Iran for use
Against Israel. Tonight's film 'celebrates'
The teenage years of Jeffrey Dahmer, whose
'Fame' was murdering people, dissolved in juice
At least it seems so from the beginning
Years of his weirdness, well at any rate
According to this biopic, the views
It seems of a friend who did some drawings
And a graphic novel on which it's based

4939 - Video dreams

Listening to Hot New Bands on Spotify
On my phone, thru my speaker, yes, all's fixed
Bluetooth's working on my speaker and my
Headphones now. Tomorrow I will visit
Vee's flat after work, take my PC, it's
Sending files straight from my phone when they're done
Onto my PC, should be effortless
But never has been, can take all evenin'
To upload a single video, makin'
It pointless filming them. Now maybe I
Can do it easily like modern kids
What a dream, especially with Prague comin'
To be able to film just what I spy
And upload when I want, and watch transfixed

4938 - Picture that

I've got my new phone going, though it's slow
To load up, Bluetooth's not working yet, but
I'll get there, with help, the next few days, so
I will. Spotify's downloading about
One track every fifteen seconds, but that
Painful slow rate's not so different to what
My old phone did in this old-fashioned flat
Got to tolerate, not let it frustrate
Not everything's served quickly on our plate
Now I'm watching a film I think might show
Into the mad but artistic mindset
It dates from back in 1978
The Eyes of Laura Mars, take a photo
Of sexy women and get paid for it

4937 - Phone moan 2

Sadly, the phone I bought on Sunday is
Just not charging up. A dud battery?
I almost got it going, fingerprints
And passwords entered, then went black on me
And like last night that's how it seems to be
Staying. Gonna have to swap, or to claim
A refund, go elsewhere. Prefer to see
If I can try another of the same
Model, the i-Phone 8, cos it's less pain
Moving my old phone's data onto this
Same brand of phone - well, that's the theory
Technology, once again it's the bane
Of my life, but I've begun this process
I'll finish it in a day, two or three

4936 - Phone moan

Today's mainly gone well, bought a new phone
In town, and new health foods of various kinds
However, disappointed once back home
I can't turn the phone on, though I keep trying
I'll ask Vee. Watching A Beautiful Mind
And typing this. Did my exercises
In an ad break. Just now I'm determined
To keep healthy. Superfoods advice is
Eat watercress, I bought some. Surprise is
I'd forgotten matcha tea, used to own
Pots of it from Chinatown. You can find
It in Sainsbury's now. A strainer sizes
The powder into smallness. I bought one
Now I'm gonna brew some properly, first time!