4755 - The positive touch

Went to bed as early as nine last night
Almost my earliest ever, for ages
At any rate. The beer, combined with tired-
ness, probably accumulated, was
Enough to knock me out for twelve hours
Yes, I didn't rise until nine next day!
I still had a hangover though I'd used
Painkillers in the night. It went away
Finally, after breakfast. Felt okay
After lunch, so I decided I'd write
A summary of my Fringe, analysis
Of my thoughts, and steps to find the right way
Forward, Negative thinking's been my blight
I'll try harder to reach out for others

4754 - Boredom once again

So here we are, in limbo once again
What's the point of life once you've done the stuff?
Spoken to younger people, the refrain
Is all the same, they've coupled, that's enough
Or they haven't, high maintenance, they're too tough
Screw them all, who cares, unless they can show
A spark of something? I'm too old now, shove
Them all, their petty needs, mine the same, so
Be different, be fun, appreciate me, or no
Don't expect me to do my best, cos when
You switch from me your focus to some fluff
I get bored and you've lost me, I don't know
Why I should bother trying to entertain
So talk your talk and I'll walk somewhere off...

4753 - Short cut

First day back, not too bad compared to what
I thought it might be like. I made contact
With Amanda and Josh, something I had
To do, strike while the iron's hot, attacked
My reticence and fear, and they both liked
My Bony Productions page. On Facebook
Doing that, saw Tom Short had a show. I walked
To the Adelphi Theatre, and then, look -
Rhiannon turned up. Saw some film Tom took
At the end of the Fringe, only a short
Time ago. Walked back, played uke to a strict
Diet of Smiths and Sparks. Better on uke
Than ever tonight. The incentive's great
To work on my music comedy act

4752 - Back to work, back to reality

Woke up at a quarter to eleven
Although I was fairly late going to bed
And at twenty to six or maybe seven
Some talk and noise outside interrupted
My sleep for an hour and a half. I've tried
To do what I can, post-Edinburgh
I wrote a comedy song, summarised
My Fringe memories and impressions, a blur
If left longer, details would disappear
And now I'm mentally tired at seven
Thirty after my tea, refilling head
With Brexit shit I've not missed while up there
Engrossed in my show and others I'd seen
Tomorrow, it's back to work, I'm afraid...!!!

4751 - How strange, the change

Last night I woke at God knows when, confused
As I didn't recognise my own flat
Still thought I was in Edinburgh. Amused
Now to think of the stupidity. That
Is funny. Didn't know this place here that
I've lived in for 13 years! That's what being
Away for a whole month can do. Just what
Does the clever brain need to be struggling
So strangely? Okay, I had had some drinks
Actually like my place. That makes me pleased
It feels very white and pristine, and not
As shadowy as where I've been staying
Met Jo today, first time since we cut loose
From Milan. Hard to believe. Fancy that!

4750 - Back home

This was going to be my last Edinburgh day
Albeit consisting of just catching the bus
But a lift from Tom last night means today
I'm home, and the sunshine is glorious
After unpacking and shopping I was
Able to sunbathe and top up my tan
It was great listening to songs on the grass
And just getting settled back home again
Got some beers in, and healthily eaten
Next thing I want to do is have a play
On the uke while I digest potatoes
Chicken and salad. Summer's almost gone
This might be the last day this year I'll say
I could soak up the sun's refreshing rays!

Mon 26 Aug

4749 - Ed Fringe Day 26

Last day in Edinburgh. Dehydrated
But such a nice sunny day, relaxing
To stroll around, vest on, tattoos stated
Places I've been. Drank fluids, liked eating
Ice cream, stopped me overheating. Packing
Now in this heat, and listening to music
Will finish at Tom's Comedy Shorts, watching
(Unless I get invited to the mic
Unexpectedly)*. Then Tom and me, and his chick
Will pile into his car and be headed
South for Manchester, finally ending
Our month-long odyssey we have all liked
I'm actually sad to leave, though it's costed
Me a fuckin' packet! Been exciting!

*Didn't go to that show, Tom cancelled it so we could drive home earlier!

Sun 25 Aug

4748 - Ed Fringe Day 25

Last show of my first Fringe, friendly faces
Half-filled the room. Last show went with a bang
Amanda and Giles, Josh on sound, more Oz
Representation, Pinwheel Productions
Kaleigh and her group who've been such good friends
More Aussies (why so many Aussie fans?)
Word of mouth probably, that's how it spreads
Many of them were seeing it more than once
Got all my stuff out in the given five mins
Taxi back, table given away, then whizzed
Up town again on foot, Hannah waiting
Two hours' chat, then soon after met some friends
Again at their show, then went out for drinks
Josh and Amanda been so nice, so thanks!

Sat 24 Aug

4747 - Ed Fringe Day 24

Walked more today than any other day
24 kilometres, not far off
Marathon length. Quite a good show today
Three fun-spirited lads came, two were of
Aussie origin, and they gave the love
All the Aussies I've met here have given
Not only that, an Aussie comic gave
A great show - Bilge Pump Seminar - down in
The Boteca (Heroes) basement. Walking
In addition to Edinburgh, the bay
From Musselburgh back to the city. Wove
My way across sands, rocks and seaweed. Sun
Shone on it all! Can now definitely say
I've seen some great sights, free from push and shove!

Fri 23 Aug

4746 - Ed Fringe Day 23

Not much sleep, plagued by horny thoughts, and by
Tom's snoring earlier on. Got up to do
My show. Josh turned up last minute, but I
Was right, no-one came. Though there were some queues
For some shows. Some people I chatted to
Reported low numbers, especially in
This last week of the Fringe. Much too tired to
Do anything (after a Thai meal) than
Trudge home and rest. Got up late afternoon
Wrote a 5 minute stand-up set to try
At Tom's Comedy Shorts at Newsroom. Phew!
It went well, despite it being brand new and
Untried. The Sprite burp gag worked just like I
Hoped it would. Tomorrow night - stand-up 2....!!

Thur 22 Aug

4745 - Ed Fringe Day 22

Put my disguise back on - Bony Tony
Though wearing it was starting to feel sad
Nevertheless, though hopes were low today
As it turned out, I’m glad now that I did
A large special needs party all flooded
In at the last minute, well late, and that
Meant delay starting the show. Edited
It down slightly. Mustn’t finish late
And then after soup, walked down Chapel Street
Which became Buccleuch Street, and signposted
Was Craigmillar Castle, coincidentally
A sightseeing recommendation site
In a Guardian piece on this Fringe city
Walked there, bus back, a nice day out was had!

Wed 21 Aug

4744 - Ed Fringe Day 21

Two people came. Josh met them just last night
They stayed the whole show, then went to ‘Fishbowl ‘
A French mimed show that’s really done all right
I ate some food from Lidl, cost fuck all
Then thought, ‘I fancy a day out ‘ and strolled
Into Waverley Station, where I chose
North Berwick as my destination. Bold
Considering it was hammering down, but those
Forecasters were right on my phone. Sun rays
Eventually dominated. A quite
Lonely place it was. Beaches, harbour, old
Victorian style houses, a hill that rose
Above the town, which I climbed. What a sight!
North Berwick below, blue sea, and not cold!

Tue 20 Aug

4743 - Ed Fringe Day 20

Flyered yesterday afternoon with Shaun
Or his missus at any rate, but still
Nobody came to today’s show again
So waited a few minutes, then said we’ll
Go for a coffee, me and Josh. Refilled
At Costa, chatted a good hour, discussed
Amanda from Australia, who called
Him to back her at the Fringe, guitarist
Par excellence, and all-round nice guy. Pissed
At weekend, didn’t hear from him til morn
Today! I’m losing interest, my little
Family show. It’s not too bad. Shame I missed
Putting it on at Free Sisters, cos then
It might’ve been ok. Failed again. Yawn...

Mon 19 Aug

4742 - Ed Fringe Day 19

Not as rainy as forecast - a good hike
Up Arthur’s Seat. The wind blew, but the sun
Shone. Perfect combination, how I like
It, especially when I’m climbing or when
Cycling. Keeps the sweating down, keeps you clean
Soon after I got back in town, the rain
Came, briefly. Flyered with Shaun’s missus and
Stepson Bradley, in Bristo Square. The main
Thing for the final week is to remain
Upbeat. Crowds will be small this final week
The kids are back in school. And my lesson
Is decide on my product. A good name
Is vital, will get me an audience. Psych
Myself up to rehearse, perform, often!!

Sun 18 Aug

4741 - Ed Fringe Day 18

I’d had high hopes for today’s attendance
Yesterday me and Shaun flyered an hour
In Bristo Square. It seemed there were some fans
Of the ideas in the show, and allowed
Free entrance to all, but a smattering showed
Up, and most of them fellow performers
And friends. The only good thing, a no-show
By the guy charging a hundred to use
A camera to record it. Jay from Oz,
One of the Pinwheel crew, was generous
And filmed it for free. Licked my wounds, saw shows
Which got more in than mine, made me feel worse
But enjoyed seeing them, still. Although ‘Brain Rinse’
Only had one paying punter. Ker-pow!!!!

Sat 17 Aug

4740 - Wd Fringe Day 17

Woke a little early and wrote a song
In the kitchen about dirty lamp-posts
Covered in bird shit. That should please the throng
In some mystical future gig with most
Of the cool comedy audience engrossed
And splitting their sides at my silly stuff
Two people in, one, Amanda Jane, most
Welcome was she, and Alex from Plymouth
She was a good sport. It can be so tough
When there’s so few. Of course, it’d be wrong
To talk to someone who just wants the host
To leave them alone. Flyered, got some love
From the afternoon folk, said ‘Come along -
It’s free tomorrow. It’s being filmed! You must!!!’

Fri 16 Aug

4739 - Ed Fringe Day 16

Flyerers out again, but again just one
Family in, but they were fun, and they joined
In the spirit well, mother, daughter, son
From Brighton, plus Jay from Pinwheel came and
One of their Aussie friends, Reece, a godsend
With his funny laugh. Thanks mate. Fewer shows
Seen than yesterday, pacing myself, fend
Off cold better that way , as cold winds blow
Though it was still quite sunny. Fingers Piano
Bar, 5:30, to see Josh, my sound man
Play guitar in Amanda’s naughty ‘band’
Of two. Looks a good venue for music
Acts. Could apply next year to do some song-
Based material like theirs, plus jokes for fun

Thur 15 Aug

4738 - Ed Fringe Day 15

What a day! Not much sleep. Alarm was set
Had to be at the skeleton by 10
To meet all the 3 flyerers I’d ‘met’
On Facebook last night, hand flyers out to them
Do flyering myself, meet Josh the tech man
Kaleigh showed him the ropes. One family came
But it was nice. Cheered me up. By the end
I’d seen 6 shows by others, not the same
Depressing day as yesterday- my ‘fame’
Is surely spreading... (!). Acts see my t shirt
And others ask me about my act and
I tell them. Spoke to many acts, my name
Becoming well-known at least, that’s in spite
Of the low turnout for my show again

Wed 14 Aug

4737 - Ed Fringe Day 14

Felt tired and even apathetic to
The show today- can it be rescued now?
Maybe with flyerers. I’ve applied for two
From SpaceUK, but they’ve not confirmed how
Or when yet. I’ll try Facebook. Need to know
The process. Should I try again next year?
But this year’s not worked out, just spent much dough
Resulting in not much at all but fear
That I’m not cut out for it. It’s fun here
Seeing shows, chatting now and then, but you
Walk around alone all day and somehow
The enthusiasm drains. Just need some cheer
Some audiences would be good, just a few
Or even better, lots!!  Rescue the show!!

Tue 13 August

4736 - Ed Fringe Day 13

First flyering success, I got a family
In to my show, the only people there
But it’s a first. Anyway, to help me
I’m hoping to get flyerers soon, area
Not too far from Surgeons Hall. They’ll flyer
Bristo Square, Teviot Square, the Blundabus
Speaking of that spot, I met Gabby there
She’s gonna see my show- how marvellous
And I even saw Metamorphosis
Three or four days late, they let me in there
Then wandered hazily round the city
Back to the bus. Lucy H caused a fuss
Met her old friend Lisa, spoke to Lucy
I might hang out there again, I like it there!

Mon 12 Aug

4735 - Ed Fringe Day 12

A terrible rainy depressing day
But one that may just be a turning point
Did a gig at C Viva, 1:30
About 30 kids and grown-ups. It went
OK, but no flyers taken. Then I fought
My way home through the driving rain. Felt bad
But no time to slacken, I had to write
My show again, and rewrite all my ad
Stuff on the Fringe website and theatre site
And post on social media. It's all quite
Fine, if you're asking. Rain, loss of money
A cold coming on. Show attendance? Shite!
But worked hard, new direction. Now, could they
Be flyering for me? If so, heaven sent!

Sun 11 Aug

4734 - Ed Fringe Day 11

A hugely disappointing nil turnout
The same as Thursday, when Pearl attended
Some shows are selling well, with queues throughout
The lobby every day, while my door's dead
No-one except me and Kayleigh are stood
There waiting to enjoy Bony Tony
And his Daft Show. Have they misunderstood
What it's about? Is it too odd? Surely
Not, when you consider new comedy
Of the more surreal kind, but taking out
The adult themes, the swear words. Yes it should
Work, but maybe there's no market. Tiny
Kids and their parents, they won't pay without
It being more clearly young kid targeted

Sat 10 Aug

4733 - Ed Fringe Day 10

Horrible morning deluge, just when we
(Me and AJ) started out flyering
My ew expensive umbrella totally
Destroyed by gusts of wind as we're walking
Up towards Edinburgh centre, trying
To protect my red sprayed hair from the rain
4 people attended, plus AJ.Things
Went well, missed out the swimming bit, but gained
On the recorded laughs and the chicken
Impressions. Charlotte, just 4, was a wee
Star! C Venues emailed me following
A dropout, did 40 minutes for them
Still got a slot this Sunday, too, at C
More flyering, and 2 shows seen. Spiffing!!

Fri 9 Aug

4732 - Ed Fringe Day 9

Today was the day Pearl saw my Fringe show
Sadly, it was a quiet day, and there
Was no-one else to show her how it goes
When it's in full flow, with lots of banter
I ran through some of my set, just for her
Sang most of my songs, and she saw the lights
Operated by Kayleigh, as ever
Nice and helpful. I've not flyered the streets
For 2 days - well, not really, so I might
Get no-one again tomorrow, I know
But hanging out with Pearl these 2 days, we're
Glad we did it, and we had a few pints
Now back on the wagon. I have to go
Into new strategy mode, do better!!

Thur 8 Aug

4731 - Ed Fringe Day 8

A testing show. Although a big audience
Many had special needs, but they enjoyed
It in the main - one more experience
In this big learning curve, this showbiz voyage
A family group came too, but sat dismayed
On the whole, not joining in, seeming shy
One guy, Darren, saved the show - he just played
Every game, took about 4 prizes. I
Got advice on marketing. Now to try
To find my real audience, and also sense
Where and when to flyer, to not avoid
My true comedy fans. Few families buy
Four tickets for an unknown. It's nonsense
To persuade them. Evening with Pearl was great!

Wed 7 Aug

4730 - Ed Fringe Day 7

Almost a week into the Fringe now. It's
Going so quickly, every moment's filled
Today was my Green Day (hair, t-shirt, glitz)
Took umbrella so green hair chalknot swilled
Away by the showers. About 10, willed
Myself to patrol the Royal Mile. I
Was targeting the kids and families still
But my prices are for them all, too high
And my humour too sharp. I'd say now, my
Audience is more teens and older - yes, kids
But, kids AT HEART, with adult brains. I killed
Them so far, those that came. Was emailed by
The C venues, got a good spot. It's this
Sunday - perfect chance to plug my show. Brill!!

Tue 6 Aug

4729 - Ed Fringe Day 6

Though very tired, almost no sleep, because
I thought Tom would at any moment get
Into the bed, not knowing that he was
In fact still with Rhiannon, headed out
Of Edinburgh and staying at some hotel
That stopped me going to sleep - of that, no doubt!!
Considering that, today went pretty well
Flyered from 10am, targeted small
Kids and their parents - but it seems about
Teenage and 20's humour my show is
(More than anything) - though under-10's yet
May enjoy it, if they're clever. To tell
The truth, I'm pleased with that. It's tedious
Just playing to kids, too boring just doing that...

Mon 5 Aug

4728 - Ed Fringe Day 5

I felt good most of today, but knackered
As the evening has gone on - now it's 9
Not that late, but mustn't delay my bed
Tonight. Flyering at 10 is my design
For tomorrow, I'll need body and mind
To be energised. Show at 12, of course
Then helping Pinwheel's show, then I should find
More flyering to do, eat, then see shows
Or Paul Silky White at least, as he knows
How to do comedy and music, wed
Them into a successful Fringe show. I'm
Keen to learn what works in my cause, suppose
It may help in future. Tom Short offered
A slot tonight, but can't do it this time...

Sun 4 Aug

4727 - Ed Fringe Day 4

Another OK day, and best of all
An audience for my show, that was a boost
They came in after I'd started to crawl
Through my act for no-one, something I'm used
To, but they came in, sat down. I could coast
Through it now, ad lib more, as I like to
When there's people to bounce off - it's the most
Easy thing to do, so easy to do
I just need PEOPLE!!! Work provides them too
But this is on a higher plane, it's full
Of risk, it's hard, it takes years to adjust
And learn how to do it well and be you
I'm already thinking how I could sell
More tickets next year, be a well-known host

Sat 3 Aug

4726 - Ed Fringe Day 3

It's so competitive, the festival
I got no audience for my first show there
Good to run through the show though, a trial
Run, free of pressure, though I'd much prefer
A audience to talk to, who can inspire
More quips, more energy, and more money
Of course. Pinwheel Productions, similar
No-one, though they'd sold two tickets, but the
Amount's nothing, split fourways, honestly!
So I'll now have to flyer streets like hell
If I want crowds it's up to me... Not fair
But the brochure and theatre, such a spree
Of spending, hasn't produced the people
Saw three shows this evening - must learn, watch, hear...

Fri 2 Aug

4725 - Ed Fringe Day 2

A good night's sleep, surprising in strange bed
Tom's not here to share it,though bumped into
Him flyering for his show just as I sped
On foot to a show by Karam Deo
At Underbelly, off Cowgate. It's so
Warm, keep having to take my jacket off
Today was my tech rehearsal, have two
Brilliant helpers, Kayleigh and Alex. Love
Them, they're making my show find such a groove
Programming lighting sequences, cues, read
My script, gave good advice. Australia, you
Are great for giving me this vital shove
Upping my game will be easier when fed
By your skilful hands - and best wishes, too!!

Thur 1 Aug

4724 - Ed Fringe Day 1

Not much sleep on the midnight bus up here
Which stopped at Leeds for two hours in the night
Woke up to see we were in Edinburgh
Pleased to say this time I felt great delight
Walked with red suitcase and blue bag to wait
Outside 88 McDonald Road for
Nick the Landlord, who came promptly. With great
Speed I settled in, searched for the Lidl store
Got food, etc. Practised songs after
Coffee and porridge. Two lads then appeared
- Jimmy and Lewis - said hello, then flight
To town, Fringe Central, firststop, then to Sur-
geons Hall, met Aussie crew, mutual helpers
I'll do the lights for their shows - yes, the lights!!

Wed 31 July