4207 - I throat about you

Oh my God, sore throat's back with a vengeance
Not gonna get much sleep again tonight
Been thinking it was getting better. Plans
To overcome it by myself going right
Out the window. Why can I never fight
It off til I get antibiotics?
And when's my chance to ask the doc to write
A prescription tomorrow? Do the doc's
Open early so that I can up sticks
And make the union meeting that begins
At 9:30? Mechanics Institute
Is the historic venue, the first mix
Of delegates from different unions
In the 19th century - that's the site

4206 - Pint of view

I've now been out to Comedy, Salford
Got a lift there and back, that's a good thing
When it's cold like this, can't really afford
To hang around outside too long. I think
I'm still too ill to be out lingering
I had one pint, and Barbie offered to
Buy me a shot, we had one each to drink
Just before I did my turn, but I knew
What I was doing, felt fine, and still do
Though after one more shot that we both poured
Down rapidly, the effect was warming
In my stomach, and still is. The night's through
Managed to get home, no more drinks, that's good
Now getting tired, a nice warm bed's calling

4205 - Barber man, barber man, bar-barber man

Oops, forgot yesterday's sonnet, oh fuck
Just a normal day at work - but so cold
I pulled out of Shark Comedy - soz, Shark
Cos I'm still a little ill, but still bold
Enough to brave the weather for the old
Haircut on the other side of town. Wait
Til you hear what happened just as I strolled
Within view of the barber's. What I hate
Most about that is the thought someone might
Nip in the door just before me. That sucks
Because you have to wait longer. You fold
And unfold various newspapers, not great
Ones either, right-wing tabloids. But this fuck
Ran past me and went in! I was appalled!

Mon 26 February

4204 - I, Tony

Did ironing from last night's clothes hand-washing
Done in the bathtub. Seems to have worked well
No need to go washing machine buying
In a rush, before payday money fills
My wallet. Will it wait? Oh yes it will
I'm gonna play uke now and then tune in
To the League Cup Final - it's Arsenal
Against Man City. I have not yet seen
'I, Tonya' (the film). I am kinda keen
But CBA at the same time. Thinking
Maybe not. Knee-bashing don't work that well
For me, or any other human bean
So later on I'll do more rehearsing
Of jokes while I listen to the football...

4203 - Better in than out

Stayed in, felt that was wise, recharge batteries
It's effin' cold outside, it's February
Josephine said she had homework duties
And anyway, we caught up on Wednesday
I didn't do much, I think that's healthy
If you've done lots or lots is left to do
And it certainly is, like this Monday
Comedy night - hope I'll be able to
Take part this time, if cold recedes on cue
Still on painkillers for bad throat. At ease
Otherwise. Played uke. It looks like Derby
Are throwing away promotion. A few
Times this has happened now. Korean freeze
(Winter Olympics) closing finally

Sat 24 February

4202 - Salford Arms

Somehow despite having a cold, feeling
Tired, got through a long day at work, with lots
Of talking, then acting class, that's lasting
From 6:30 to 9:15, then hot-
Footing it in the cold, sure this man's not
Hot, to the Salford Arms, for a few drinks
Met Ken, then Derm turned up, fitted our chat
In between messaging, and yes, methinks
All's not so bad, I'm coping with the things
That life throws up, still growing, and knowing
Much more than ever before. Even got
Total strangers chatting, smiling, laughing
How did this happen? Not understanding
But happy with how things are turning out

4201 - Coldbitz

The cold and sore throat linger on. I went
Out briefly after work with VB for
An Ethiopian meal with this weird bread
Like a dishcloth, on top of which you pour
Your gravy and meat. Tried Ethiopian beer
Without my noticing, in came Stuart
Maconie, saw him looking over here
A few times! Freezing cold, but I still walked
Home to save money on the tram ticket
Might read my TED Talks book, help to invent
More talks, or styles, grow skills, keep them in store
For comedy or any public sort
Of performance. Structural principles can't
Fail to be of use anytime, I'm sure

4200 - Give me leave, give me peace on earth

I'm still ill with a cold, though on the mend
Took day's leave, to see Jo and go to town
Had a good wander and chat. For lunch, went
To Las Iguanas, stuffed the usual down
Chili con carne. As we walked around
We met Turkey, Foxy and Eddie Hoo
On the corner of Princess Street, then bound
For Debenhams, voucher to spend, and you
Know what, once more I spent much more, a new
Pair of office trousers, but also spent
On a green shirt some more -  £23
To be exact. Back home in time to view
The Brits, exchanging some funny comments
By phone with Jo (who's at Grandma's, Urmston)

4199 - Stop Messi-ing about

Glad I stayed in last night, I'm still not right
Another night in, with more money saved
I guess. What will I do though, here tonight?
Chelsea v Barcelona - think I'll have
That on the radio. Can the Blues live
With Messi, Suarez et al? Soon we'll know
I'll also finish Robert Webb's self-love
Book marketed as some anti-macho
Thing, which it's not. Mate, all us blokes don't grow
Huge muscles, take steroids or fight each night
The usual luvvie nonsense that just paves
His way to more work, plays and TV shows
And columns, got to have the right views, right?
To keep that rarefied status he craves

4198 - Bloke on the water

A terrible end to the weekend, one
In which my face was on fire due to a
Simple moisturiser skin reaction
And multiple washing machine floods, war
On my kitchen floor, soapy water poured
In all directions, necessitating
Towels, tea-towels, and Friday's newspaper
Retrieved from the nearby recycle bin
All used to soak up the deluge spreading
Menacingly towards my poor broadband
Wotsit (WTF's it called, and who cares?)
And another throaty cold, ruining
My desire for comedy tonight down
At Hands Down Bar, near the Northern Quarter

4197 - Spots of bother

Not enough sleep, and woken by the phone
But it's good, cos it's Diana's message
She's coming to view the flat, and at ten
It's 7:30, there's time to engage
With a thorough, last-minute multi-stage
Cleaning exercise, windows, floors, rubbish
Mould treatment, oops no, what mould, turn the page
Quick, deft use of curtain, look, see it swish
Now you can't see those black spots, they've vanished
I scrubbed 'em with remover, but not gone
Yet that's the only spot where spots have ranged
The rest of it's been gone for a year (ish)
Diana was neat, a hard-working one
Chris was a nice guy, sounded slightly Welsh

4196 - My face is on fire

I'm in a rush, going to watch Ted 2
Which is starting. But, why is my face
Burning? Is this what moisturisers do?
Today has gone at quite a pace
First, writing my comedy for Monday's
Shark Comedy night - hope they let me on!
After that, lunch, and lots of messages
But just when will I hear from that Tom Plumb?
My flat keeps almost flooding, and it comes
From the washing machine pipe! Whoop-de-doo!
He comes finally at three. In a trice
He's actually fixed a ten-year problem
No more leaks in that area. Life is new!!!
Got a sore throat, though, and feel far from ace :(

4195 - Speed acting

Out after work to acting class, first one
Since December, and it's no longer Chris
Along with Emma, it is now Darren
It began in a fun way with some piss-
Taking, some jokes even, which weren't dismissed
And we all got to know each other quick
Most of 'em are young. They'd been given scripts
To learn the week before, but I was stuck
With having to learn it at Speed Breakneck
Still I did OK and had lots of fun
Was good to see Paige still there, Guppy was
There too, but that was all from last year - took
Me a while though to find this location
Maybe the others will do in due course

4194 - Flood, glorious flood

I've had another flood this evening. Once
More I was crazily mopping it all
Up, and sponging, and newspapers, yes, tons
Of water dispersal methods on trial
I'm drying a selection of teatowels
On the radiator, because later
I'll need them to soak up any night swell
From under the machine. They'll stop water
To some extent. While at work I made a
Call to Tom Plumb. I've had experience
Of his good value plumbing for some while
Hopefully he can put all in order
Meanwhile, the would-be lodger came, but sans
Job, so that's a no from me - what a fool!

4193 - Bitchin' in the kitchen

My washing machine's broke. I got down on
The floor to shift it sideways as I do
When in its final spin, it knocks upon
The nearby kitchen cupboard, Put my shoe
Against it, moved it sideways, one or two
Times, and it stopped, and then drips could be heard
I may have disconnected it. A flow
Of water seeped from under it, and flowed
Quickly all over the kitchen floor. Scared -
What to do? Grabbed a towel, mopped up a ton
Of water, wrung it in the sink. Oh poo!
Think I'll buy a new machine. This one's had
Its day. I'll have a big deposit soon
From the new lodger - not quite sure yet who...

4192 - Here comes the bogeyman

A fun night at the King's Arms comedy
Tom Short came, always good when that happens
Lots of funny banter, though not many
Peeps there! Maybe too cold for the heathens
I got a lift there and back for my sins
So it was fine. Wrote a song sitting there
And did it at the end, about picking
Your nose - yes, YOURS not mine - I'd never dare
Wait, OK, occasionally, if no-one stares
Wouldn't it be nice (Beach Boys) were we free
To do it whenever the urge kicks in
The relief from it's well beyond compare
Or beyond the compere! Boogie Oogie
Oogie was my adapted song, my friends!

4191 - Hats off

Turned out to be a good comedy night
Shark Comedy at the Hold Fast Bar down
The stairs next to Hatters Hostel, all right?
Free entry, lots of fun youngsters all drowned
In somewhat expensive booze - it's my round
(Not), hipsters with nose rings, awash in tats
Inspiring me to write new stuff, it's sound
I expect lots of laughs, just check the stats
They all laughed at everything, shooting rats
In a barrel, good compere, no uptight
Vibes. Bring it on, fools. Pass the drink around
And hear the uke before you puke and splat
It on the pavement under city lights
Could this be a new home that I have found?

4190 - Flat broke

Stayed home, horrid weather, and I don't need
To go and get some books which was my plan
Got lots of new ones recently to read
The pile's so high, a literary mountain
Wanted to see the house the book sale's in
Elizabeth Gaskell's, down Plymouth Grove
But now I know it's monthly, so again
Maybe in March I'll check this treasure trove
Meanwhile today, my willpower finally drove
Me to advertise my spare room, through greed
Mainly - my bank account's sure on the wane
No chance of holidays, goin' on the rove
Until I trouser some dosh, so I'll plead
For some nice person to share my domain

4189 - No mis-steak

First day out with Josie for quite a while
Due mainly to my illness last weekend
We pushed the boat out, dining in some style
At Wahaca, both had steak, then to end
It we had dessert. Still vouchers to spend
Left from Christmas and birthday. Got some shoes
An unusual shade of blue, to defend
My socks from Manchester puddles, to lose
That wet feet feeling that gives you the blues
They were 60 quid, hard to reconcile
Normally, but they were somewhat cheapened
By a 20 quid voucher put to use
Also, a nice striped shirt, better by miles
Than most, used voucher at River Island

4188 - The Ballad of Daisy Green

Met a girl while I went country walking
Her name was Daisy Fields, with clean white smile
Her teeth rounded petals, a real wild child
She grew up on the farm, lay in the sun
Her eyes were orange disks, her skin unspoiled
With tiny hairs so small, almost unseen
Thin as a stalk, dressed in her dress of green
I picked her, kissed her, but she was wilting
So I dropped her and walked many a mile
I forgot her a full year. Now she comes
Back in my dreams, for lost beauty searching
Sharing the earth and enriching its soil
Arms and legs entwined like they've always been
Hidden under the shade of leaves swaying

4187 - CBA

I changed my coat to one without a hood
But then it rained heavily half the day
Taking an umbrella, that might be good
I'll put it in my bag now, right away
And about today, not much more to say
Will play uke next, maybe some radio
Will watch Question Time, only if I stay
Awake that late - if I can, I don't know
Felt energised before, but now the flow
Has somewhat slowed, like car tyres in the mud
Like people's enthusiasm for eBay
Like Usain Bolt when running on one toe
Like a sloth on crack, crawling in a wood
Or like decisions by Theresa May

4186 - Stand up but not for Jesus

No snow today, but still cold nonetheless
Left work earlyish, got a sudden call
To fill a vacant spot tonight and yes
Despite my tiredness, unrehearsed and all
I went down very well, got my name called
By some audience members chanting my name
And lots of laughter. Sad I didn't fill
My pockets with a hundred quid, a shame
I still think I was the best at the game
Forgot my joke 'bout Oscar Pretorius
Almost forgot my song, I was appalled
Had no trigger notes to hand, unlike some
Still, it was worthwhile going, showing my face
Now I'm knackered, and bed is where I'll fall

4185 - Metrostink

A good day and good evening at Railway
Pub, West Dids, although we did not win it
Lots of tram inspectors swarming Tuesday
Late evening for some reason, but I'm quits
With them, luckily I had a ticket
Six of them, safety in numbers, it seems
Outnumbering the passengers, one who bought
A ticket on the platform, asked the team
How to buy one, lol, obviously his scheme
Was usually to avoid paying, I'd say!
Who was he trying to kid? What a tit!
The supermoon is gone, it shed no beam
Now I'm back home, and soon in bed I'll lay
The pain has gone, all's well for the minute

4184 - Going Ape

I haven't even needed painkillers
Today, although I've got a slight ache in
My head! After work, up to Deansgate, was
Meeting Louis to see a film - Ebbing
Missouri (Three Billboards), but then going
Outside again not only was it dark
But it was suddenly fuckin' freezing
The film was pacy, dramatic, with stark
Depictions of consequences when folk
Do bad stuff (it's the 'In Bruges' director's
Latest flick). And, back home, I'm now watching
Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It took
My attention within seconds, so paused
All other plans to see it to the 'fin'

4183 - Boot call

At teatime last night, the painkiller did
Its job at last, and since then, been pain-free
Too early to nail down that coffin lid
I'm in the full mode of recovery!
Bad news about the weather - we'll all be
Freezing our wotsits off next week, they say
There could be snow and ice, yeah, real chilly
What to wear, how to keep warm on my way
To work, and on nights out? Work, rest and play
Makes Jack a cool boy. But I might have slid
On some ice. Still no new boots! Shopping spree
Urgently needed, now we've had payday
It'll take days to get all that I need
Yet there's no time, I'm gonna be busy...

4182 - The Dambusters Hobble

This constant pain I'm trying to enjoy
It makes me feel hard, stereotypical
Meat-headed, stoic, uncomplaining boy
That's not how it should be, but it is still
How we're expected heroically to deal
Like some old black and white World War film, those
Well-spoken dashing pilots in their full
Furry collar and helmet, as plane goes
Down into the water, you'll hear no curse
Cos little boys must copy, and destroy
Or be destroyed without complaint, their role
When their time comes. Meanwhile, the Brexit purse
Is looking somewhat empty. They employed
This old thought process, and the fools were fooled

4181 - I'd like to move it, move it

A terrible night, full of pain and ache
Could not get comfy, specially on my side
Had to lie mainly on my back, backache
Being the result. Got up early, tried
To get socks on, could not bend leg or find
My feet. Eventually managed to dress
And hobble to work, but I was confined
To my desk, could hardly move, did my best
At least I did the work, so I can rest
Easy this weekend. Got some spray to take
The pain away, but the ache still abides
This discomfort is proving a real pest
What to do, except some more food intake?
Is it worth going to bed? Have to decide...

4180 - The Moon's a Really Big Balloon

My leg started aching last night in bed
So I got up to see the super moon
Very bright it shone, in its light I stood
A silvery glow in my living room
At quarter to four, dispelling the gloom
Fitful sleep after that, but got some kip
On the London train, Virgin va-va-voom
A fun meeting, even managed to slip
To the canteen for a curry, then nip
Back upstairs again, noting what was said
Spent my WH Smith voucher soon
After reaching Euston station. The trip
Back thus had reading matter, and I read
The start of Stiglitz's 'The Euro' tome.