3454 - The Big Short Sleep

What a long day, but it was most useful
Woke up at 5:15 with tickly cough
Got up an hour later, had a nice bowl
Of porridge, followed by a mug of coff-
ee, and later on, an omelette, I stuffed
Myself, yea verily. TEFL course done
My first assignment beefed up, and the beef
Got me full marks! Also, while I looked on
Facebook, I saw a call to submit some
Comedy ideas for a Beeb 2 show. Well
I jotted ideas down for later. Off
Went me and Lou to the cinema in
The Printworks to see 'The Big Short'. Chris Bale
Was good, and Steve Carell. Wall Street rip-off!!

3453 - Blur blurb

So today, me and Lou went for Breakfast
At Sainsburys (sounds like a film, don't it?)
Then I went to Wilmslow, then caught a fast
Train to town with Josie, who'll graduate
To teenager tomorrow (although late -
She was born at ten to midnight!) Walked round
And round the shops, bought her a birthday treat
Of a bath bomb and a Blur CD sound
To offset her recent Oasis. Downed
Chicken and leek pies at Rowntree's, a last
Drink at Starbucks. Back home, Louis has set
Me up with Netflix on TV. From out
Their film selection, I made up my list
Then we watched 12 Angry Men talk and sit

3452 - Birthday treat

An afternoon joint birthday meal, Mowgli
In the old Corn Exchange, then Triangle
Now Exchange Square, names change with frequency
Not especially spicy food, but we all
Decamped to the Wellington for more ale
And wine, then I left, ready for Louis
We'll watch Derby v MUFC, all
The nation's watching. But can the Rams be
The ones to end the reign of Dutch Louis?
The Reds fans hope so, simultaneously
They want their team to win and to be full
Of local pride. In a short time we'll see
What happens, but if Derby lose, then we
Will focus on the promotion struggle

3451 - The masterplan (for tonight)

Enjoying keeping it clean, which gives me
All evening to do things that otherwise
Wouldn't get done, but rather carelessly
I completely forgot my exercise
But I'm at the computer writing lines
At 5:15pm, that's very good
Next task will be submitting my online
TEFL assignment number one, I did
Last night, about 9:30. This one should
Be easy enough, they gave tips for free
As long as I add to them my ideas
Then I'll play guitar, hollow box of wood
That gives such fun, albeit solitary
Sunday, I'll check guitar-lele best buys!

3450 - School of shock

Sitting here at the desk with cup of tea
(Liquorice flavour), time is ticking by
As I now write my sonnet diary
The most important task is one that I
Have not yet got round to, but I must try
It's a bit scary, that's why - it's homework
Yes, like my schooldays, makes me fret and sigh
I put it off, though I've not really shirked
I've exercised, and played guitar, James Kirk
Couldn't have boldly gone as far as me
At least not on the fretboard, fingers fly
Further than the Enterprise, Ataturk
Achieved less back there at Gallipoli
But still the main task waits and will not die

3449 - I'd like to teach the world to speak English

I think I've got a bug, maybe that's why
I've had dodgy guts for the last few days
Today I've sneezed a few times, throat's itchy
Others at work have bugs, each cough and sneeze
As the old saying says, will spread disease
I hope to be better by the weekend
Team meal Friday afternoon, then Louis'
Coming round to watch the footy game, when
Derby host Man U in the Cup. Portents
Are bad, the Rams have lost form, and so I
Am far less confident than before. Buzz
Around the match though. TEFL once again
Tonight, I hope, after a strum on my
Guitar, and then 'The Movie Book' - yes please

3448 - Cleaned out, cleaning up

Been out tonight but eased off on the booze
Had none in fact, and don't want fags either
I want to clean up my act, and the news
Will be good for my wallet, that's for sure
Over the next few weeks with no lodger
Paying me rent. I've spent the residue
Of my rental income in December
And January, I'm cleaned out, but thank you
God, my credit card debt's paid. Wasted two
Or three hundred on car hire, mustn't lose
Such sums on that again, no no never
At least not til I'm richer. I have to
Concentrate on TEFL, guitar, and new
Sketches, jokes and songs until the summer

3447 - Mo money, mo guitar-lele

This morning I went shopping, and I used
My T K Maxx voucher from Josephine
On a new white shirt, trendy, that would suit
Work, but might also look good on the scene
(Whatever that is!). Needed ironing
And thank God, didn't stain it. made no mark
After lunch, hoped to buy my next strumming
Instrument, a guitar-lele, but hark!
I checked my bank balance, it was a shock
I simply couldn't afford it, no loot
Left, so costly have these last two months been
Must wait til payday, when thanks to my work
I'll get a new cash infusion, a boost
To my wallet, but til then, must be mean

3446 - Today and tomorrow

A lovely day out with Josie but lots
Of walking, both our feet hurt at the end
We walked round Manchester a while, she got
The idea to go to Old T so then
We caught the tram, ended up there again
United had already kicked off so
We walked to the Lowry mall where I spent
20 quid on a grey shirt. Time to go
Jo handed me a voucher, I can blow
20 quid in TK Maxx on a shirt
Tomorrow, when I will also extend
My guitar collection, and I will stow
A guitar-lele back home, have the hots
For practising, take it to gigs,make friends!

3445 - Study, buddy

It's Friday night, staying in and saving
Putting it to good use, I've already
Put last night's song lyrics to a backing
Of music, and played guitar. Now ready
To do a second night's TEFL study
Teachers' and students' roles, teaching techniques
I need to make progress, and rapidly
The aim, complete the course in a few weeks
So no extra fees will be incurred, quick
Progress with the aim of then enabling
Me to start taking students, them and me
Just one-to-one, not meant as romantic
But fun nonetheless, and money-making
So now it's time to resume the journey

3444 - The heat will never be off

The cold weather's due to stop very soon
I hope so but then again, it's winter
It's supposed to be cold here in this room
And on the balcony when I stand there
One good thing about warmer temperatures
Is lower heating bills, but what about
Rising sea levels, floods, rain, etc?
And desertification further south?
Population starvation, hand to mouth
Existence, mass migration, spelling doom
For whole societies, for weak cultures
Islam certainly seems to have strong teeth
It won't fade anytime soon, not this June
While west Europe's religions all wither

3443 - The night after the night before

Just eaten an Easter egg, although it's
Only January. Birthday present
From Barbie Mugabe, got at last night's
Comedy farce extraordinaire that sent
One guy into apoplexy, descent
Into threats and abuse, madness and gall
Tonight's far quieter, I've not even spent
Time with guitar. Dropped my soup pot and spilled
Its contents, couldn't heat it much at all
Also had a not nice quiche, was the pits
Had onions in it, no meat. My intent
Was to play guitar, but my eyes then fell
Upon the Easter egg, could not resist
So now my belly's tending to distend

3442 - Man at work

After work I tried to sleep, succeeded
In getting maybe ten minutes but that
Seemed to work, and I then got up, rehearsed
My stuff, then carried my guitar, soon ought
To find it easier, guitar-lele, light
And small. As regards tonight, it was fun
A knobhead tried to spoil it, but it's not
Gonna happen, I carried on and un-
deterred, I finished my set, though was trun-
cated on the Bowie cremation deed
Had recourse to my joke book which was shite
But still ok. One liners dredged from some
Previous year, finished the night as I did
Rescued it from the clutches of a twat

3441 - Birthday boy

My birthday, 53 for Gawd's sake, how
Has it come to this? But, not complaining
I'm glad I've lasted this long, haven't bowed
Beneath the blows. Actually, enjoying
Life very much, and always did, winning
Against sadness, found joy in family, art
And whatnot. Doing my diary, struggling
To find time to rehearse tomorrow's act
At the King's Arms comedy night, should start
But it's late and I can't be bothered now
Will have a quick look before retiring
You know how it is though when it gets late
And you've worked and been out, just want to slow
Down. But tomorrow should be good, hoping...

3440 - Get your claws out

Good night out last night with D and N, a
Birthday treat, bubble tea, then Chinese meal
From the Szechuan region. Soup's not starter
It's a huge bowl, a main course, this revealed
Itself early on, and I'd nearly filled
Myself up before the big crab was served
I struggled with the bony claws and soiled
My hands with soup and gloop, chopsticks reserved
For something I could use them for, but loved
It, as did D, but he had to recover
From the spicy pepperness, an ordeal
That numbed his mouth and filled him up and paved
The way for a cool pint at Gulliver's
Stayed in today, but tomorrow, more meal!

3439 - Spice girls and boys

The day spent walking round old Manchester
With Jo, and went to Nando's, filled my face
Chicken a go go, spicy, with pepper
Then dropped her off, and headed back apace
To Manchester, where I met at a place
Called Chatime, bubble tea was how it got
Going, then tried Try Thai, we tried to choose
From the menu, but their fuse blew and stopped
The kitchen in its tracks, but found a spot
Don't know its name, but it's a Szechuan stir
Fry and big bowls of soup kind of a place
I had fish balls soup and then crab, but hot
Is an understatement for Derm's choice, the
Fragrant fish in spicy and peppery sauce.

3438 - Talking Turkey

Back home late from a work trip to London
On the way down progressed my work towards
My next job promotion application
Unhindered by others talking. Forwards
I go, unstoppable, honing my words
Both for my paperwork and interview
Criticisms and bad vibes for the birds
Because I know that I'm better than you
And most competitors are worse than poo
When I got there the day was rather fun
My talk went well and also liked the food
In Parliament Street canteen, and talked to
The Turkish visitors and my London
Colleagues. Wrote comedy, heading homewards

3437 - Tracks of my peers

Can't believe it's still only 7 o'clock
Worked hard, prepared for my talk in London
Foisted suddenly on Monday upon
Me, which you can imagine, was a shock
But I'm ready now to give it a go
What's more, I can now spend the train journey
Planning my next promotion attempt, the
Advice on how to pass interviews so
Recent, it may help me to do better
Next time. I certainly won't talk so much
Try to be brief and to the point, and snatch
One of those SO posts that's on offer
I'm hoping now tomorrow will be fun
And productive as train flies down the track

3436 - Mr Magic

Another night, exercises, guitar
Playing my old vinyl faves that I know
So well, no rehearsal needed, so far
Burned into my memory, it just seems so
Easy to play now, as my technique grows
It's like a drug, all becomes possible
And nights of listening so long ago
Rewarded all these years on, that people
Must wonder what these songs are, and how I'll
Know as if by magic each chord, each bar
But it's no secret, it's like when you go
Down familiar streets, down valleys, up hills
You walked all your life, it's not that clever
It's easy really, it's what life can show

3435 - A cut above

Had a haircut after work, exercised
At home, played guitar, then dating website
Derby are drawing against Reading, wised
Up to the Championship, well, well they might
Be but unless they win they could soon slide
Back out of the top two. Come on Rams, score!
Jo rang me at work, worried, but with slight
Reason, her holiday to Europe's the
Weekend after those big games, not before
Means we can watch the FA Cup clash, quite
Soon followed by the Stoke game that we've bought
Tickets for, all that's unaffected, her
School trip's the Friday after. so that's nice
Now to relax and eat, to all, good night!

3434 - Bye Bye Bowie

The big news of the day - David Bowie's
Death, one of the greats from childhood music
Whose sounds fascinated all through the years
I must admit,today I'm rather sick
Of hearing 'Life On Mars' and 'Starman[' schtick
Good though it is, and the Ziggy haircut
References to his arm round Ronson's neck
It'll be a relief to finally shut
The lid of the old record player, but
Once the aural assault is over - please
Let it be soon - then the London maverick
Will no doubt still be there, a welcome shot
Of melody and wit amid this freeze
Of pop, hip hop and shit that we're stuck with

3433 - Hello Mr Chips

Been fairly busy for my day of rest
Two main objectives I had for today
The first was to revise, then pass the test
In the grammar section of TEFL, pray
I didn't screw it up, and luckily
I got 91% overall
Enough grammar, now to learn the ways we
Teach pupils, although not wanting at all
To stand in a classroom, that's too stressful
Just want one-on-ones, conversationalist
The target course completion date's really
Not that far away now - it's in April
Second, I've lately had two meet requests
On the dating site (but they're not for me...)

3432 - Rainy days and Saturdays

A nice day out with Josie to Old T
Also the shops of central Manchester
Rain came on as it got dark, but still we
Had a good time, long talking outside the
United stadium about early years
Of her life and the troubles of those days
And even reminisced about my car
Crashes (well only two). Bought a phone case
For Jo from Primark, 'Mon Cheri' it says!
Now I'm back home, and pretty soon I'll be
Watching FA Cup highlights, unaware
(Apart from Derby's win) of 3rd round scores
I'll probably play some more guitar shortly
Playing old vinyl faves of yesteryear

3431 - Drinking news

A crazy day, a crazy life, crazy
They tried to say today we just can't drink
Drink water, not alcohol, bad for we
Fuck the doctors, vested interests, we think
Independently, if we're on the brink
That's our choice, better than subservient
Who benefits anyway, if we sink
Into depression? Discussed, and we sent
Their pronouncements into the mouldy fence
No-one really believes hypocrisy
Everyone needs an outlet, needs to blink
And so I'd say without causing offence
Live and let live, please don't dictate, easy
Like Sunday morning, like Sunday morning

3430 - Pay Pay Pay

A night in, exercises done, ironing
Done, emailed Avis again, still not charged
Me the correct price for Christmas driving
55 quid paid back, still overcharged
By another 60, that's still a large
Overpayment in my book, too large to
Ignore. this is January, we all splurged
At Christmas, but now I've got birthdays too
All three kids, plus workmates with birthdays who
Will all celebrate with one meal, dining
At Akbar's on Liverpool Road, a surge
Of customers each weekend, afternoon
Is when we'll go though, said I'd be playing
My guitar-lele for them. (But no grunge!)

3429 - Munch bunch

A better night's sleep, well how could it not
Be? Went to work, we all went out to lunch
To Thaikhun, Spinningfields, my meal quite hot
But not too spicy, comfortable to munch
Nice to spend time with the girls from our bunch
Stayed in the office til almost five, then
As I left, remembered I had a crunch
Meeting with Avis car hire, I have been
Overcharged for December's car hire, seen
An enormous amount they'd taken out
Of my bank account, leaking like a sponge
To sort this out of course I was most keen
Eric was there, he helped, so I felt good
Played guitar back home, and it wasn't grunge

3428 - In and out of bed

Another night's disturbed sleep, knackered now
But left work early hoping to sleep then
And what did I hear? A thunderous row
(Which has now stopped), a bloody awful din
Possibly a computer game playing
In the flat below, deafening everywhere
In my flat, no matter which room I'd been
In, so got out of bed out of despair
At 4:15 pm, coffee, tuna
And looked at my jokes for tonight's show. How-
ever, maybe I could try once again
To get a nap so I will feel better
Just seen the news headlines and so I know
What's going on with the referendum...

3427 - Clownpour

Woke up at 4:15, awake for hours
Then after dozing off, woken by loud
Noise from the absent, now returned builders
Oh well, hopefully soon they'll get around
To repairing the outside. Heard the sound
Of constant dripping water last night on
The balcony, after days of being drowned
By deluges and showers. But open
Was the office, thank goodness, could have gone
To Albert Bridge House again, like was forced
To do last week. Back home, did myself proud
Got some old jokes and songs, it should be fun
Tomorrow at the King's Arms at 'TWCNIS'
Then played guitar to converted records!

3426 - The young fools

It's a month since Hamburg, two days since New
Year, and I've spent all day with my singles
Collection, converting sides one and two
To electronic format from the vinyl
Complete with scratches and jumps, what a thrill
I've hardly eaten, I've been that busy
And as I've said before, listening, a still
Activity, is tiring, well for me
It is after a while, so intently
And excitedly do I do the do
And then there's careful placing of each file
On the computer, alphabetically
Of course, done automatically! The new
Age welcomes back the old days of young fools

3425 - If the kids are at United

Jeez, Man United have cost me an arm
And both bloody legs. Membership my arse
Fifty quid just for membership - alarm
Bell rings, signals rip-off, oh wallet, purse
Prepare to be sucked clean of all your wares
The tickets themselves weren't too badly priced
Mine was forty, but bargain for hers
At eighteen quid. The Stoke game, Tuesday night's
Looking a good 'un though. February Twice
I mean Feb the 2nd. Just two days warm
Will be that new era - Jo's teenage years
She pretended it wasn't an excite-
ing thought, but surely modern teenagedom
Is something of a thrilling prospect, yes?

3424 - No, I can't be bothered!

I'm tired from playing records - funny, that!
But like intensive reading, it uses
Lots of brain power, now my battery's flat
How should I pass the evening? Now easy's
The most appealing of all the answers
It's one of the good things 'bout being alone
That when you want to relax, no-one says
'Hey, this or that needs doing, so get on
With it, then relax!' No, those days have gone
And at times when out of boredom or out
Of a spirit of adventure, partners
Suddenly seem desirable, that moan
Should reverberate round this empty flat
And on the wall should be posted this verse!