3514 - I own an i-Phone

Spent an hour on the phone yesterday eve
Buying a new i-Phone - no more Samsung
Today after lunch (soup) and without Steve
My manager (off sick), appraisal slung
Into the long grass til next week, so hung
Around the O2 shop on Market Street
Picking the new phone up, meanwhile having
All my contacts and pix switched onto it
In the end it was done, that's pretty neat
Problems at work, 'bout when folk arrive / leave
Some do a lot, others next to nothing
Some issues talked over in a long chat
But it's not yet resolved, I do believe
Tomorrow, April Fools will have begun...

3513 - Dirty trousers

Day two of an aching left hip, though it's
OK once I've started walking along
This evening I've now got a sore eyelid
I'd better get a good night's sleep, be gone
Into full rest mode, or I could be stung
Drawn and quartered tomorrow - appraisal
Time's here, woop de doo! I poured soup upon
My hand and burned it at lunchtime, the fool!
It also went on my trousers, so I'll
Clean them when I've written this, five minutes
From now. No, longer, my thoughts take too long
Distracted by a weird sitcom, but we'll
Ignore it now, and finish this sonnet
Now back to Pete Townshend's autobiog...

3512 - I feel so bad

A day late, I'm afraid. Got home last night
From comedy at the King's Arms, driven
Home by Dave T, and I felt ill and tired
I switched on the TV and saw England
Score against Holland and then lose. Glad then
I didn't stay in and watch, but went out
My left hip was today strangely aching
As for the comedy, headlined, I'm proud
To get asked so often. I was quite good
But it was getting late and I was quite
Worried we'd get chucked out, and I couldn't
Be bothered playing guitar. Pints-wise, could
Not drink more than two weak ones, what a fright-
ful performance, eh? But good to stay clean!

About Tue 29 March

3511 - Hali-facts

Not long got back from Halifax, Yorkshire
Went to a few good pubs along the way
Those light brown stone buildings, this time of year
The days and lights are lighter, hip hooray
The Pennine land seems welcoming to stay
But it's okay for a short trip, no more
I'm home safe and sound, ready for the day
Work tomorrow, then comedy, hope for
A good night's sleep, all's on course. Some pasta
As I watch the news, Brussels, Palmyra
And other such exotic places, stay
Beyond my old stomping grounds, Berlin, or
Havana, these are no more no longer
Of interest, times move on, it's a new day

3510 - Give me my hour back

It's Easter Sunday, we've had thunder, rain
And even bright sunshine. I've felt knackered
Though I went to bed quite early (in vain)
Perhaps 'cause the clocks went an hour forward
Nevertheless I love this moment, good
To have the light nights back again, sun shines
In the living room, afternoons, I had
To shield myself by drawing the curtains
Not enough energy to do lessons
(TEFL online course assignment) but tryin'
To learn Tuesday's comedy, cos I would
Be unable tomorrow, on the train
To Halifax for pub crawl with a crowd

3509 - Easter Funny

Hello there, it's Saturday night but still
Two more days off work, because it's Easter
The rain held off most of the day until
We'd walked as usual round the town centre
Funny performers, preachers, tourists, the
Full cast of characters. Some record shops
Where I got vinyl, CDs, mug. Had a
Ravioli dish at Zizzi, just opp-
osite from the office, it wasn't top
Too much tomato, and garlic bread spoiled
By caramelised onion. Got home for
The Germany / England friendly, non-stop
Passing, the old rivals, of course it will
Be tricky, we're behind. Harry Kane - kill!!

3508 - Beyond a joke

Reading Bruce Dessau's 'Beyond a Joke' - it's
A history of flawed comedians from
Grimaldi to nowadays, sketches, skits
Physical slapstick, wit and bust and boom
Psychological flaws and crowded rooms
Smoke-filled nightmares turned into big money
Focused on big names heading towards doom
Their dark sides fuelled their creativity
Aggressively chasing approval, we
Fly off cliffs like cartoon villains, then shoot
Rapidly down as we see there's no firm
Ground below, there never was, infancy
Comes back to haunt us in nightly visits
Like Hamlet, we equivocate and spin