3818 - Bladder sonnet

A fun and efficient work day, I think
Out for lunch at Bill's, had a minute steak
Others were envious but the other things
Looked tasty too. Messaged Jenny then broke
Off to do comedy, and a few folk
Turned up, despite the rainy Manc weather
Now I'm back, and again it's the text speak
Inevitably, it's late night Stella
My typing of this sonnet and bladder
Are in conflict right now, because the drink
Is affecting me, and it's hard to take
When you need a piss. What's the girl chatter
Now? Good banter goin on, midst the clink
Of wine glasses I suspect. Toilet break!

3817 - Pillow talk

Late night in Liverpool and downed Stella
Back home, bed around 2:30, alarm
Set for 6am, head raised from pillow
And out the door without breakfast, the aim
To make that early Piccadilly train
To London with workmates. Sat by Emma
Going and returning, so can't complain
A somewhat boring series of talks there
Near Euston Station in Euston Tower
No coffee was provided - how silly
Luckily I could get water and some
Cordial with it. All I can do is stare
Foolishly at the computer - hello
Bed, think I'll go there soon, tired but warm

3816 - Liver fool part 9

What a great night at the Hot Water club
In Liverpool, Seel Street to be precise
It re-establishes your faith in love
As does Jenny's efforts to now be nice
What's happening, why is everyone so nice?
The reason is, I think, I've been through shit
And can relate, somehow, through the device
Of social relations, see thru bullshit
And even social awkwardness, that it
Is all a struggle for love. I can move
People cos I've been rejected, not nice
But I'm a nice person, I care and it
Counts for a lot when you then move above
And beyond isolation. Sunny skies!

3815 - The end of the affair

Broke up with Jenny, messaged her last night
More endless accusations and insults
I could no longer be bothered to fight
I felt there would be no good end result
This afternoon in Starbucks with cups full
Read her latest reply, still negative
And full of denial of any guilt
I ended it amicably to give
Us both our self-respect back and to move
On. Another girlfriend maybe in sight?
A nice day with Josie trying to find belts
Got one in Debenhams. Finally I have
A travel book for Israel to excite
Me and enable planning for April

3814 - Mexican chilly

Did lots at work, and didn't leave til six
Forgot Vee had moved, turned up at her old
Flat, waited for the Uber taxi, picked
It up on Dale Street, ride to Ritz for old
Morrissey songs by Mexrissey, this cold
Northern city hosting a Mexican
Smiths and Mozza covers band that had sold
Out the Ritz, where the Smiths played early on
They didn't mention Trump, but got cheers when
They said they were Mexican! Politics!
With Vee I had fun spotting songs we rolled
Up to see played live in the 80s in
The Free Trade Hall, recorded by me with
A small tape recorder I had concealed!

3813 - Trumpton DC

Very tired after last night's gig and late
Night drinks. Fun day at work, but now I need
An early night, need to regenerate
Might play the uke later but am a weed
Right now, no energy left, no indeed
Everybody's talkin' 'bout Trump it seems
Is it hubris, maybe, or simply greed?
Is it nationalism, or some isms
Even more right wing? Are these just pipe dreams
Of his, or will they happen? Love or hate
Him, he's big news, his is the big buzz feed
Politics is interesting, with the themes
Of climate, trade deals, jobs, and immigrate
(Or not). Let's wait, will the smoke soon have cleared?

3812 - Whalley Strange

Good day at work, good comedy gig at
Rowan Lodge, Carlton Road in Whalley Range
I've always enjoyed Whalley Range, a spot
With a unique friendly vibe, slightly strange
But I fit in there quite well, I'm deranged
Enough, it's no problem, take anything
You can, build confidence, lay yourself plain
In front of them, especially when you sing
The uke went well, even the solo in
The middle of I Want To Break Wind - that
Sounded pretty good to me, the danger
Of attempting musicianship, playing
Pure notes, home practice, it paid off at last
I look forward to future gigs arranged

3811 - Brexit for breakfast

Felt OK after a clean evening and
A long sleep, good detox, can work wonders
Worked fairly well today, an email mound
I'm climbing it as best I can but there's
Still lots more to do tomorrow. The news
Today is that the Supreme Court's upheld
Gina Miller's legal challenge, the buzz
About this being that Brexit's on hold
First, Parliament must vote before we're told
We're leaving or staying, so stick around
And watch this space, remainers and leavers
It seems to me it would be very bold
If the rich twisted the poor's arms, unwound
The referendum somehow. Could be tears

3810 - Buzz feed

Late evening, Monday, but been productive
Since getting home from work, what have I done?
Exercises, first for 2 weeks, so give
Myself credit there. Ironing, a mountain
Ate healthily, of peas and beans a ton
Plus two fried eggs and mushrooms in the mix
And fish fingers - altogether, yum yum
Was about to rehearse when Carla rings
The downstairs buzzer. Her keys? Left them fixed
To the front door, didn't she! Silly love!
Luckily, no-one burgled us. Went on
The uke to practise comedy stuff, since
The Whalley Range gig's this Wednesday, believe
It's a small gig, but could be a good one

3809 - Donald's slump

And now for today - I'm winding down now
After a hectic few days, even wild
At times. I want an early night, and how
I'll watch a bit of football, like a child
Staying up later than they should, a mild
Adult rebellion against myself, then
That will be it. Some gigs soon, I'll have trialled
The new stuff I've had ready in my brain
Since around New Year, stuff about Putin
Not sure I've got much Trump stuff. Holy cow
How can I lack Trump stuff? Is my head boiled?
We're already seeing presidential spin
More than spin, sheer nonsense. Press not allowed
To question his spokesmen who should be grilled

3808 - Rabbits and rabbiting

Late entry for yesterday - stayed the night
At Jenny's, a proper look at her flat
It's slightly damp maybe, but it's alright
Bit messy in places, but she knows that
Mainly just chatted this time, just chit chat
Finding about each other's characters
Getting on well, even in bed, real late
Enjoyed meeting the rabbits, funny furs
The white one looks like an alien walrus
She's Winnie, the black one's Willow. This quite
Unexpected evening did not fall flat
We drank our wine, ate snacks there at Jenny's
It was only decided last minute
As I was taking Jo home - that was that

3807 - Smile style

Unexpected meal tonight, had a Thai
In Phetpailin, not eaten there a while
Very tasty but prices seemed bit high
At first the spicy curry was a trial
But briefed N on recent events big style
Before that went to Cosy Club - the bar
Service was so slow, it's incredible
Before that, in the office, applied for
The Landfill Tax job, hoping I can score
Promotion at last, give it one more try
If I achieve it, there'll be a big smile
And more money both now and evermore
That's all for today, good night and bye bye
Time to go and float down the River Nile

3806 - Maid alone

I miss Jenny, hope she feels not too bad
We sank a lot of booze, and hangovers
Afflict her (unlike me) - though it made
Bedtime together come faster at hers
When til yesterday she'd been too nervous
About me to invite me there at all
I hope she still likes me - that's marvellous
Sunday's when we next meet - I hope she'll call
Good memories though of the fun time, a thrill
I got questioned at work, that's no surprise
It's such fun being thought of as a ladies'
Man, ha ha, what a joke. It's my third meal
In two days tonight, Louis' birthday. Dad
(Me) is a happy man. Things could be worse

3805 - Maid of moan

A day late with my birthday sonnet - why?
I'll tell you - I spent the night at J's flat
It wasn't that bad either - glad that I
Got to see it and all of her, and what
We did was fun, I think she enjoyed that
Bits are coming back even now, recalled
As I sit, back home writing this sonnet
If my mother knew, she might be appalled
But maybe no longer, as she gets old
And older still, she has an open eye
If not quite open mind. Carla please get
Out of bed so I can shower and fold
Away these long-worn clothes, clean ones for my
Meal tonight - yes we're back at The Laundrette

Wed 18 / Thur 19 January

3804 - Maid of stone

Nice breakfast at the Premier Inn, Maidstone
Short walk over the bridge to Medvale House
A long meeting, my bit was last, then gone
Back on the train with Mike to London town's
Seething and somewhat stressed metropolis
Hopped off at Embankment, on to Euston
Sadly, a long wait there, I've had to miss
The King's Arms (Salford) comedy I'd done
Some writing and rehearsal for, but none
Of that practice is wasted. Time will come
When it pays off. Some lyrics I will lose
And maybe never now use, forgotten
Out of date, topicality outworn
But I can tweak the material with ease

3803 - I was havin' a bath

A satisfactory day and no mistake
Woke one minute before alarm went off
Had breakfast, walked to the office to make
A job application, but it was tough
To get it done while chatting with my love-
ly workmates, so before too long I left
For Piccadilly station. Since, I have
Been through Euston, Victoria, into Kent
Taxi from Maidstone East, managed to get
Inside Medvale House, promotion at stake
Completed and submitted it, then wove
My way over the river, near enough
Hotel dinner, hot bath, feet soaked in it
Comedy to rehearse - the King's Arms stuff

3802 - Let the train take the strain

A busyish day at home, lots to do
Haven't done it all, but I've asked for gigs
No holiday research 'bout Israel, true
But did some yesterday. Also had big
Chats with Jenny, actually it's still going
On now. When I've sonnetised, it's my plan
To play uke and guitar, an in-house gig
Carla's a bit late coming home again
And Tuesday she's got a gig just a train
Ride away in Mossley Hill, that's on Tue
When I, after a long day returning
From a meeting in Kent, I may refrain
From going straight home, do the King's Arms do
A busy week ahead coming, going

3801 - Standing down

Here we are, it's Saturday night at home
Alone, no moaning from me about that
Been out with Josie, Carla's out, she's gone
To comedy venue Frog and Bucket
With an Italian stand up bloke she met
Or didn't meet in Italy but now
For him she's the British stand up expert
I could have gone along maybe but how
Would that be right, two Italians, don't know
How me being there would help to get along
Besides, who wants to be ripped off, shell out
For cliched circuit comics, so lowbrow
Yet so expensive. Besides, Jenny's come
Back and might message me any minute!

3800 - Friday the 13th strikes again

Knackered, went to bed late, much messaging
With Jenny, but her mood seemed to go sour
Accusations from her I was trying
To 'lash out' and 'bully' and to 'make her
Feel like shit' were just too tedious to bear
She's a taker but not a giver, wants
Me to be strong and protective, but wore
Me down with her moans. She won't take her pants
Down, or cuddle, without a struggle. Thanks
But no thanks, she's too moody, admitting
As much, gave me a decidedly poor
Image of her character, made no sense
Defensive and accusatory, brings
Me too many problems, wasting the hours

3799 - From incompetency to where?

Having a fun chat with Jenny by phone
Even while playing my uke and guitar
And playing it well too, not all alone
Either tonight, cos Carla's back up here
After a trip to Birmingham for a
Stand-up spot. She really liked the old inn
Where she stayed overnight, and also the
Pen museum, she learned how to make pens
Said the folk down there were friendlier than
The miserable Mancs, and as it's near my home
Town, natch I kind of agreed with her there
I wouldn't mind a drink just to wind down
After a great night and the day was fun
Writing competencies, not bad so far...

3798 - More sonnets about buildings and food

A fun day at work, but didn't do much
Didn't draft my two job applications
But at least began the process, a touch
Of reading done, and some preparation
So tomorrow I'll aim for completion
Of the first draft, then I will seek advice
Try to improve the draft, take suggestions
On board, finish with great competencies
Want to be one of the interviewees
Got home, did exercises, staying such
A good boy. Back to negotiations
On where to eat tomorrow night, jenny's
Preference being steak or Italian, a clutch
Of suitable restaurants - we must choose one!

3797 - Blooming freezing

So tired, stayed up late last night, woke too soon
Fun day at work, though, good laughs all along
Just arranging a date Thursday late 'noon
After work, with Jenny. Taking a long
Time. I need to go to bed, fall headlong
Into deep sleep, get more than my fair share
Of rest and dreams. Need to recharge, get strong
For the next two days, excitement looms near
It might be cold, it's true, this time of year
But life goes on, can't wait for spring to bloom
Need to warm up somehow, to sing a song
In my mind and body for her to hear
It may be chilly, but it's no typhoon
It's colder in Poland - really freezing!

3796 - Wham bam thank you tram

A fun day at work, chat and crises yeah
But a good team spirit holds together
Afterwards, back at home, did the
Chores, ate properly, then went out for
A second comedy night, Robin Hood
Got the first tram to western Manchester
Only three stops from Cornbrook to Stretford
Where there is a good night, the host, Tom Short
A friendly guy I've known a while since the
Start of the King's Arms night back there
I'm doing the Robin Hood next month so thought
I should check it out, glad I did cos where
It's at is where I'm at, that's fair
Glad I made the effort, always better

3795 - King Song

My telly stopped working, there's no signal
That might be bad but it freed me to do
More than otherwise, so my day was full
I listened to my new CDs, the two
Being Paul Simon and Beefheart, and you
Can bet that wasn't all. messaged Jenny
Also Dermot and Vee, and others too
Like Tom Short, and Claire, albeit briefly
I washed clothes, read the art book, yes, forty
Pages of The Artist's Body, and still
Was able to go out later on to
Watch King Gong at that place, the Comedy
Store, saw people I know trying to fill
The place with laughs, met the comedy crew

3794 - Chance eating

Lovely day walking round the rainy town
With Josephine, popped into Fopps and bought
Two CDs, Captain Beefheart, Paul Simon
And a birthday card for Louis. I told
Josie about Jenny, and I told her how old
Jenny is, 34, she pulled a face
Why are they always younger? I said hold
Your horses, I did not say I planned this
It's just chance, not design, but yes
Younger's better than older to a man
We ate at Bella Italia. I thought
They were slow to serve and cook, but the taste
Was good as always, never lets you down
Chatted with Carla back home. It's alright!

3793 - Dateline 5th January

Oh what fun, had a great date with Jenny
A bloody cold night, hard for me and her
But we met and it worked, not just for me
She was not at her best, she said, for sure
But that honesty is good, I prefer
That to fakeness, and meeting her again
I am still interested, she's fair
And attractive, she just needs the right man
Hopefully we are both on the same plan
Dressed in black, lots of layers, just for me
She was there, we ate and drank, me beer,
Her, cider and Coke, a bit anxious when
I turned up, but it ended happily
We'll meet again soon, it will go further

3792 - In the year 2017

Oh my God, life is good right now, great day
In the office, can't say why, but it is
And tonight I've had a really good play
Of the uke and the guitar, how can this
Be beaten? Tomorrow I'm out with this
Great gal called Jenny, a girl with a mind
So like mine, how can it not go well, it
Has to be fun, unless it's all a wind-
Up? But it's not, why would it be? She's kind
I hope. Time will tell. I'm not going to pray
I prefer to see life just how it is
If things don't work out, that will be a sign
That I should carry on in the same way
And this is my biased analysis

3791 - Outer visions

Oh no, the comedy has been cancelled!
The King's Arms doors were locked, there is no show
I went there unawares the night was pulled
But never mind, I'll rehearse it some more
It was all new stuff, so could have been poor
In execution with not much practice
In the bag. Every day's not like before
Don't quite know how - it's just experience
Maybe, making the most of life. I wish
Like Stevie Wonder, stories to be told
Inner visions made real, to see and know
To still dream and chase after sense, nonsense
And everything between that's in the world
I want to have much more before I go

3790 - This will be the week, will be

Day off, bank holiday, second of Jan
A sunny day. First, shopped for food and since
Then, not done much. Got to rehearse, and soon
Messaging Jenny for ages, now it's
Time to rehearse my set, learn the lyrics
And the chords. Good to keep in touch though with
This girl. A date's been set, but don't know if
It's Wednesday or Thursday. Tuesday is laugh
Night at King's Arms, so Thursday's better - tough
To have two late nights, midweek, but still fun
Can't wait for a date with the Brummie minx
I'm so thirsty, I must drink - not a stiff
One, a wet one, genuine rehydration
Then time to rehearse my comedy lines

3789 - What's another new year?

Went to bed at 3:30 late last night
It was New Year's Eve, that is my excuse
I was also waiting for Carla, might
She need help with her suitcase up the stairs?
Watched Jools Holland, then martial arts film fare
Early on New Year's Day, 2017
Then Jenny called, I was awake, sober
She was out in Birmingham, 2:15
And yes, her friends really are gay, it seems
Two more calls, the last one at 3. The sight
Of my missing toothbrush meant it appeared
Carla was out all night, so time for dreams
On my part, time to head for bed, quite right
Today, killed time. Now, time to play my uke!