5087 - Beer

I slept well, and I therefore did work well 

A sunny morning, hoped the afternoon 

Would be spent in the sun but the death knell

Was sounded on that. Anyway, quite soon 

It clouded over, so I just worked on

But popped to Sainsbury’s in my lunch hour 

Bought soup, felt overheated as I spooned 

It in, took off my shirt, but still had power 

To crack on with my work. But I’m not sour 

In the office could not have sat with all 

My skin uncovered, so that is a boon

Then at three fifteen started on the beer 

Again, in the office, not possible 

But anything’s possible in the home!

5086 - Things

So back to work after one day off and

I think I did ok despite meetings 

And calls taking up all my time. But then

There was a bombshell dropped in the evening 

Lockdown in Greater Manchester coming 

Back. Oldham is the worst but there’s Salford 

Where I live, people ain’t been complying 

Too many parties in the neighbourhood 

So for a week or two it won’t be good 

Stupid little bastards. Mustn’t offend 

I guess. But the virus isn’t going 

Away just yet just like we wish it would 

I wonder when it will finally end

Or is it like colds, always recurring?

5085 - Haile Unlikely

Here’s a map of the bus route to the place 

Where I met Helen for a good pub feed

But when beer’s drunk my stomach cannot face

A big main course. Being full frustrates the need 

To sink the pints, no room for them, indeed 

She had lager, I had Guinness myself 

Now with Josephine it’s about the food 

But with Helen it’s less good for the health 

We like to knock’em back, and not by stealth 

After lunchtime the diners weren’t replaced 

And we were almost alone, seen and heard 

Too clearly for comfort by staff, so felt

Heading to her town of Leigh would be nice

And it was. Met her pals. All got pie-eyed!

5084 - Energy crisis

If there’s an energy crisis it is

That i’ve got too much energy today 

I hope I sleep tonight or I’ll be pissed 

Tomorrow when I really should enjoy 

My day off, seeing Helen, so I say

Let me sleep well tonight oh God or else

I never again will attempt to pray 

But no doubt in bed thoughts will squirm like eels

Electrified against their will, the pulse

Throbbing in my neck and in my temples

So I’ll get a bloody good book ready 

Or maybe I could take some sleeping pills 

Ain’t got none. An evening walk may suffice 

Perhaps I’ll head down toward Salford Quays 

5083 - Dumped by Trump

Been watching ‘Trump - An American Dream’

Lots of old footage from the 70s

And beyond. Sick of his face I kept seein’

Those piggy eyes, that small mouth, no more, please!

And now I’ve started on a new series 

Recommended by Pearl, it’s called’Living

With Myself’ - it made me chuckle with ease

But often with comedy it’s wearing 

Thin after a while. We’ll see. Was driving 

My hired car back to Bolton in the rain

Made a wrong turn but then I found Avis

Then later, tried my hand at assembling 

The sound system with 6 speakers I’m buyin’

From Vee, but I need cables. Not working!

5082 - Cup of tea

Busy Sunday, sunny too, after noon

Collected sound system from Vee with car

I drove to Mum’s in yesterday. Went home 

Had fish fingers for lunch, and then time for

A drive, try to find countryside somewhere 

Not too far, though, so drove right through Salford 

Eccles, Monton, Swinton, Worsley, then there

Was Walkden, Little Hulton, then ‘abroad’

Into Wigan Borough, Atherton, Lord,

I’m in Leigh now, it’s sunny. Then I roamed

Through Lowton, finally finding a fair-

Sized park in Newton-le-Willows. My hoard

Of props came out of the parked car, and soon

Several short films were stored on my camera

5081 - Mum is 88

My Mum’s birthday- she is now 88

Still very bright and with it for her age

Some old-fashioned views, but articulate 

Got fish and chips, the pain was an outrage 

So full, but too tasty to leave. Sausage

Roll later, too, and crisps. We had some fun

Hearing her views. We’re not on the same page 

The time for her views, well, it has long gone 

But then she’s an 88-year-old mum

She liked the cactus vase. Three vases sat 

By the garden window. I rearranged 

The flowers, putting roses in my one

And sunflowers in the others where they’d fit

Dropped Jo at her boyfriend’s, Alderley Edge 

5080 - Yesterday has gone

Yes, yesterday has gone and is no more 

Although there really was no yesterday 

It’s always now and will be evermore 

Time is made up and just something we say

But what did I do? Off work, but I strayed

Into my emails briefly, had to send

An important message. Overslept. Had

To catch the train to Bolton. Like the wind

I did so, without breakfast, aim, to rent

A car for the weekend. It’s a five door 

Grey and red Citroen. On Saturday 

Driving with Josephine to Mum’s to spend 

Her birthday. Bought a cactus-shaped vase for

Her. Wrote some comedy. Music was played 

5079 - Hey!

Oh hey, here we are, this is now today 

We’re all here now and we cannot choose that 

I’m happy that I’m no worse than all they

Everyone’s suffering the same way, a fact 

They don’t help me and I don’t help them. What 

Should I do then? Nothing is the answer!

Everyone is equally to blame. It

Is not worth fretting about. I think the

Blame lies with everyone, not just me, a

Pawn in the game, powerless, we have no say

So don’t judge me and I will quietly sit 

But if you do judge, you think you’re superior 

Let’s prove ourselves in fair and open play 

I think I’ll win and you will fall down flat!

5078 - What is sleep?

Another night of sleeplessness, dammit 

Two nights after the night when I got none

I’d been awake for 45 minutes 

And looking at the clock just ain’t no fun

So I got up and switched the telly on 

And surprisingly I watched some good things 

The first, a weird film called ‘Entertainment’

About a misfit comedian touring 

The Californian desert and having 

A bad time, so it seemed. Then watched a great 

History documentary called Witch Hunt

The Witchfinder General’s cruel killing

Spree in the 1640’s. Then an art

Programme about Peter Bruegel. Night fun!

5077 - What the?

A tense day but it worked out pretty well 

Online interviews they all went to plan

So relieved, I just had to drink the well

Of beer to relax when it was done 

But managed to call a halt and eat some 

Food, so now I am chilling and ready 

For bed, having identified the one 

Who could help me take things forward properly 

Who cares now, the future is securely 

Assured, a good day’s work, as I can tell 

Hard work, sure, but it’s justified, you can

Be confident! And so now I’m happy 

Might watch more TV shows such as Russian 

Doll, a funny series (American)

5076 - No sleep til workin’

Only a few minutes of sleep all night 

Tired body but my mind would not shut down 

Some neighbours chatted noisily, I might 

Add, which didn’t help! No method was found 

Of dropping off. Reading didn’t help drown

The excited or maybe worried mind

I no longer make lists, the fun has gone

From that questionable passing of time 

It’s no longer satisfying to grind 

Out names of people, places and, well, quite

Arbitrary lists. It bores, brings me down 

Also years ago, favourite albums shined

As things to think from opening bars to right 

Up to the final flourish. But I’ve grown! 😀

5075 - Out of tune

Played guitar, it’s harder than the uke - all

The more reason to practice regular 

At first nothing sounded right. Things would fall

Into place after I warmed up, felt sure

But no. Why can’t I play today, what for?

My usual tuning method - mouth organ 

Gives me a C - failed to harmonise. There 

Was a mystery! I manually tuned

All the strings down one note, and it was fine

After that. From then on I played quite well 

But why though my trusty harmonica 

Was out of tune with every track is one

Of those things which for now is a puzzle 

But I had fun and worked up a hunger 😀

5074 - Good start, okay end

Great start, my laptop is able to play 

Netflix, at least, if not the videos 

On news feeds, or i- Player (BBC

Repeats). My beer-soaked keyboard when I snoze 

Two months ago, couldn’t keep my mouth closed

You know how it is when you sneeze. You can’t!

Anyway, it can’t do much, it just does

The basics, no processes. I can’t hunt

On Amazon and buy a new present

For someone at Christmas time or birthday 

Can’t even download the anti-virus

Software it needs. But phones do most things, don’t 

They? Success also finding a teddy 

Nice big one, just £2, for future shows!

5073 - Friday Friday

Friday seems long ago when Sunday comes 

So let’s try to recall its main events 

It was a fairly pleasant day, the sun’s 

Warmth on my balcony some recompense 

For recent cold spells against the season’s

Expectations, as in those leaves, yellow 

Already in mid-July. Though the fun’s 

On hold, and everyone’s bursting to go

Out and about, this cool weather must slow 

Unwise mass gatherings, though in people’s homes

Smaller scale indoor parties cause offence

To those trying to follow rules or show 

Caution, to slow the spread of deadly germs

But mental health suffers not seeing friends 

Fri 17 July 

5072 - Pie in tummy

This picture is not one of today’s pie 

I think it’s from about two weeks ago 

But I have had a nice pie again. I

Can still feel said pie in estomago 

That’s Spanish for stomach, you didn’t know?

It’s breaking down now as the acid does

It’s demolition and recycling chore

And soon the ex-pie will begin to whizz

Everywhere from toe to brain. Arteries 

And veins convey it middle, low and high

Converted to proteins, energy or

Whatever else the pie had in its mess

Of atoms, molecules, compounds, gravy

Pastry, steak, yum yum, stomach says thank you

5071 - Wow

Another good night’s sleep- two in a row!

So got lots done today with energy 

Tough morning’s work but cleared stuff and could go

To Manchester shops between two and three

A long walk, I’d exercised already 

Picked up my repaired laptop from a stall

In the Arndale Market, so that saves me

Having to buy a new computer. All

Good. Now I can watch NETFLIX on a full-

Size screen, not forced to squint at phone no more

Played guitar after filming comedy 

Then wrote this. Next, I’ll decide what I will 

Watch next. A film, or start a TV show?

Then I’ll finish by reading some Chomsky 

5070 - Feeling good

Like Nina Simone did, I’m feeling good 

After a great night’s sleep. Lots of meetings 

All online of course. Tomorrow it should 

Be the same, but Wednesday there’s more clearings 

In my work diary, that is assuming 

More meetings aren’t created last minute 

I have an interview template needing 

To be filled in and sent, and that can’t wait 

Need to get up early, an early start

Before the first meeting starts to intrude 

And mainly I’ll simply be listening 

To people rabbiting their every thought 

In one drawn-out discussion I cooked food

Making time for comedy videoing

5069 - Tomorrow has come (again)

Yesterday’s poem was about today 

Although it had to be called tomorrow 

That’s because yesterday was called today

Yesterday, and today was tomorrow 

Are repeated rhymes still rhymes?  I don’t know 

Obviously a word must rhyme with itself 

But it’s cheating, inspiration is slow 

If that’s all I can choose from the great wealth 

Of available words on my bookshelf 

Today was another grey summer’s day 

At lunchtime a long walk to the bank, so

I could pay two and a half grand, myself 

Having no worries it would go astray 

But they messed up! Got wet for nothing. Doh!

5068 - Tomorrow

Tomorrow does come of course. It’s today 

When it comes, but it has just changed its name 

It’s virtually the same as yesterday 

The two are joined as midnight strikes its chime

So really it’s all one. There is no time 

Except as artificial names of things

Same for day, night, seasons, years, millennium 

There’s no division except what we think

Inventing labels like with race and skins

Words simplify to get us through the ‘day’

And they can be used to apportion blame

It makes us happier with pretend meanings

But it’s all a result of going way 

Back beyond the start, before all thinking 

5067 - Today

And so to today, got a new table 

From the Cancer charity shop nearby 

Joined a dating site, does social bubble 

Apply? Can I date? Should I even try?

And walked into Manchester to get my

Laptop sorted. Went in Aldi where things

Are cheap. Bought booze and chicken and chilli

On the way back from a guy repairing 

My beer-soaked laptop with the keys sticking 

So getting things done day it’s been quite full 

And after that I filmed some comedy 

And now weekend drinks are continuing 

I’m feeling tired now, two sonnets and all 

Heading for bed, with tiredness I’ll comply

5066 - Yesterday

Yesterday, I worked and it was Friday 

So I got beer and wine in and then I 

Worked more while beginning the wine, but hey

These things happen. I went on Facebook. Why?

I needed to connect, needed to try 

Meanwhile I listened to music out on 

My balcony, though it’s a cold July 

I shivered at times out on el balcon

What was I listening to? Mainly German

Like La Düsseldorf and Neu! - bands who play 

Great background sounds to dig, weird sounds that fly

In a steady way and with humour. Some

Might say this ain’t great stuff, and that’s OK

But I’m liking it, and so now, well goodbye 

5065 - Long summer night

Another night of broken sleep. I read

For a while around three, then turned light out

And when a problem dominates my head

I’ve found the night-time’s best for sharpest thought

I lay there finding it easy to sort

Out a dilemma that for weeks has been 

Insoluble, near to despair it’s brought 

Me, the answer oscillating between 

One course of action and the opposite one

But once again, mind lively in my bed

I said OK, I wouldn’t rest without 

Solving the puzzle doing my head in

Lo and behold, the answer soon entered

And it was obvious and made me feel good!

5064 - Better Britain

A better night’s sleep, here is my old bed 

With the duvet pulled back to let air in

Soon to be replaced at long last, thank God

This creaky wooden piece of shit has been 

A nightmare since I moved in here fourteen 

Years ago. When I move the neighbours hear -

I’m convinced of it! It looks like Britain -

The shape of the orange duvet cover -

So better night, British duvet: better

Britain, that’s why that title’s at the head

It has no deep political meaning 

I did wake up though about a quarter 

Past three, but straight away I decided 

To read, enjoyed it, then back to sleeping!

5063 - Zzzz

Woke at five to five, back to tiredness 

Like all last week, it’s started up again 

Too tired to do daily exercises 

Too tired for a comedy creation 

This evening, though on Sunday I did pen

A sketch which before filming must rewrite 

Bony Tony’s Jokes Workshop is its name 

Maybe I should still work on that tonight 

It’s early July but the light’s not bright 

Such a dismal summer brings memories 

Of 2015 when it seemed the rain

Would never end. So sunshine isn’t quite 

The reason for waking. In winter this

Still happens sometimes. It’s a bloody pain!

5062 - Uke-alyptus

A good play on my uke - I’ve just finished 

Everything played was fast and unrehearsed 

First played The Ruts, then immediately rushed

Into The Undertones and their fun first

Album I bought in ‘79. Burst

Of record-buying then, paper round cash

Bought stuff I heard on Peel, ordered by post

From vendors in the NME ads. Flash

Sod I was with my cool taste in the class-

Room. Next, Buzzcocks played with a great flourish 

And finally, Dexy’s my final thrust 

And thus ended this lone musical bash

Toiling away in my flat, a small fish

In a smaller pond, but such fun is this!

5061 - What?

Matt Hancock on the tv spouting shit

Egg shaped head praising himself despite all

The evidence of how bad he’s handled it 

Yet the media allows it to cancel 

Out all his errors while he gives us bull

The UK is one of the worst statistically 

In the whole world. It seems that they have killed 

More than most but they still think that all we

Should do is accept they’ve effectively 

Controlled it. Well, egghead, this is bullshit 

So give it a rest, it’s not rational 

There’s no belief in your bullshit party

Stop talking, start doing, and then we might 

Give a shit about your big pile of bull!

5060 - Hot stuff

A friend showed a picture of sriracha 

Not heard of it til this Wednesday’s meeting 

I bought some - not the one in this picture 

But Sainsbury’s had some opposite the cooking 

Oil. Tried it on my dinner this evening 

Half a quiche with pasta, mushrooms and peas

My mouth is just now losing that burning 🥵 

Sensation and I’m feeling all at ease

Not ill at ease, all at ease. I was pleased 

The Cancer Charity Shop superstore

Is back open. Was there today buying 

Books and a cheap white table, matching chairs

But I couldn’t squeeze it through the hall door 

But for a table I’ll keep on looking 

5059 - Boring

So boring tonight, don’t even want booze

That’s good though, I’m so tired, and drank last night 

I need a night off, recharge batteries 

Then maybe tomorrow I’ll feel all right 

Just called the mortgage line, had a real fright 

My two and a half grand I paid in June

Was not showing in my account. It might

Have been lost forever. A sense of doom 

Flooded me, almost lost it on the phone 

The call centre guy gave apologies 

But in the end I checked my account quite 

Sure all was lost, but on the 8th of June

It had been refunded. Now I refuse 

To pay unless at a branch! Bag of shite!

5058 - Balls

So tired could barely function, so knackered 

But had important work, choosing my new 

Employee who I’ll manage, was worried 

I wouldn’t cope with what I had to do 

I did ok though, stamina came through 

Though sleeplessness makes you fat, so they say 

Somehow I did it, lots of phone calls too

But you can rely on me to make hay

When talking’s to be done, whatever they 

Wanna talk about. I can’t be deterred 

After the work was done I then thought, phew!

Now for a nap, but instead chose to pay 

For four bottles of beer and that’s interred

Inside my tummy and I feel renewed!

5057 - Ironic insomniac

Yesterday, joined an online seminar 

About getting a good night’s sleep and yet 

I had the worst night for ages by far 

At 4:30 was reading Twitter sat

On the sofa. Already it was light 

And the birds twittered along with my phone 

I was too tired to read my book, and what 

Was the point going back to bed if I won’t 

Go back to sleep but just lie there alone 

The seminar attendees comments were 

Frequently that they also couldn’t get 

The needed seven hours - it’s so common!

Somehow managed to work from hour to hour 

They warned us against booze and cigarettes...