5149 - 7 til 6

Workin’ 7 til 6, Dolly Parton

Would not be pleased to be workin’ that hard

Seems most days are like this, I’m put upon

Exploited, beavering away, a sword

Hangs over me, at least I can’t get bored 

But it’s almost dark soon after logging 

Off, feeling like my evenings are real short

But at least I’m once more exercising 

And right now I am coconut eating 

Living the high life, a jet set tycoon 

Well hardly, not in this flat where I’m caught 

Like a trapped animal, just existing 

Like a zoo captive pacing round its pen

Not been out, where to go, with whom to sport?

5148 - Itchy head

There’s Beachy Head, but I’ve got Itchy Head

It’s not so long since I last washed my hair 

In fact I’m itchy all over. I dread

Another restless night of lying there

So when this documentary’s done, shower 

Awaits, scrub myself clean, a shave to boot

Itchy chin and neck an interrupter 

Of sweet dreams and a long and peaceful night 

A late night shower for most’s a normal rite

But not for me, I feel exposed, displayed 

I should pull down the blinds though, to be fair 

But I don’t, and worry if neighbours might 

Be able to see me there all naked

But only my top half, body, head, hair

5147 - Taxing times

Taxing times unless you are President 

Trump. We’ll all get taxed until the pips squeak 

Yes we’ll be paying back the money spent 

On us, while some stand in the House to speak 

Looking after us all, but it’s all Greek

They look after themselves financially 

And meantime they can be observed to break 

The social distancing rules constantly 

The parliamentary bars allegedly 

Exempt, as well as subsidised. Contempt

For rules that we must keep and that they make 

If they ignore the rules why shouldn’t we

Politicians were never innocent 

Taxpayers pay while they’re just on the take 

5146 - Fine time

So surprisingly sunny once again 

Blue sky all day, too warm to wear a coat 

So I carried it when I left Helen 

But first breakfast and then a film. Saw that

Film called Saw, Final Chapter, saws that bit

Into the flesh to give you quite a kick

As long as it’s not me, another twat 

Gets cut in half with more than just a nick

Got the V1 bus home and with four cigs

Left and four drinks in the fridge, might have been 

A bit soon since I last drank, but I sat 

On the balcony once again to make 

The most of possibly the last sunshine 

Of the year with such warmth to celebrate 

5145 - Went out spent out

Went to see Helen, found her home in Leigh

It’s such a nice place for a youngish girl 

All on her own, always full of envy

To see that great place, so nice it’s unreal 

Had wine there before walking to a full 

Bar, didn’t stay, no we relocated 

To somewhere easier to find a table 

And it was cheaper too, called the Boar’s Head

Out back there was a singer. Visited

Him for a fun dance and we happily 

Sang and danced, helping Helen do the twirl 

Went round to Paul’s house, nearly banged my head 

As I slipped to the floor in the yard, the

Ill-advised mix of weed and drink my fall

5144 - Still nice but no drink

Friday was busy but not quite ten hours 

Thank God, or I’ll be making myself ill 

Still sunny, but no drinking. Why? Because 

I drank last night and tomorrow I will

Be at it again, so I had my fill

Not of beer but of quorn for a nice tea

And watched more Schitt’s Creek, always makes me smile 

The Dad’s the sensible one. Family

Is mad apart from him. He’s still funny 

Though, and those great scripts flow without a pause 

By bedtime I was nice and tired, and fell

Into a long deep sleep quite rapidly 

Trying not to let the excitement rise

About tomorrow’s night out with that girl 

Fri 25 Sep

5143 - Unexpectedly nice

It was unexpectedly nice today

So after ten hours’ work and with the sun 

So inviting, with autumn underway 

And possibly warm afternoons soon gone

Couldn’t resist another drink. Last one 

Was Monday, and justification that 

Day was the same. Cold weather has begun 

So let’s not waste this fine afternoon sat

Inside. I’m watching a series called Schitt’s

Creek. Nearly finished season two. I’d say

Though still four more seasons left and that’s some 

Commitment, think I’ll watch the whole damn lot

It’s funny, well-acted, and a great way 

To kill time rather than get something done!

Thur 24 Sep

5142 - Early Bird

That’s my breakfast last month in Stonehaven 

On my short but intense tour of Scotland 

It’s merely that my theme is once again 

About an early start (earlyish end)

Mainly due to my workload. Get a hand

Now from Dean, and he is reliable 

He seems keen too, and can meet the demands 

Which are great right now. Would be terrible 

If, faced with pressure, he would just crumble 

Like an apple. The evening is half gone 

And all I’ve done is eat my tea. I planned 

To speak to Josephine next, and so I’ll 

Finish this diary, brew up, sit down, then

See if she’s free to chat. If she is, grand!

5141 - Busy TB

Hard working day again, with early start 

TV breakfast, Piers Morgan slagging off

The government, seems to be falling apart 

On COVID, amongst all the other stuff 

Then hours of work, no exercise could shove 

Its way into my day. I had to rush 

To the shop, then it’s back to work at five

And still working much later. Got to push

It forward. Guitar practice, my new crush 

It’s my acoustic, never been apart 

Since November ‘82, we’re in love

Again after years of neglect. Finished 

Watching’This Is The End’, started a short 

Episode length show, Schitt’s Creek. That’s enough 

Tue 22 Sep

5140 - Monday

Oh well, this guy’s face really does me in

Some actor assuming a stereotype 

I’ve never watched this show and won’t begin 

I can’t be fooled into this media hype 

Middle class condescension ain’t my type 

Of thing, putting down poor people for cheap fun

Anyway, today we have things like Skype 

But we should remember that we’re the one

Our individuality should still triumph 

Our brains should overcome corporate pressuring 

And independent thought should load the pipe 

Speaking for myself, this has always gone

Ahead of bullshit that’s dominating 

Our world, and so that’s how I’ll live my life 

5139 - Sunday is a sunny day

There’s been some sunny days, early autumn

And temperatures high for the time of year 

But it’s coming to an end, weathermen 

Tell us, in a day or so, quelle bummer 

Another entirely wasted summer 

As for today I woke up so early 

Twenty to six, and though I still lay there

Two more hours, sleep wouldn’t return to me 

So all I’ve really done today’s TV

Netflix mainly. Documentaries on some

Stuff like the end of the universe, fear

Notwithstanding, it’s interesting!  Kept me

Awake, as did some true American 

Cults, cover-ups, KKK and Mafia!

5138 - Saturday that’s the day

A pretty good day most people agree

Started off well ticking off tasks real fast

Two important ones were done, messaging the

Invisible lodger, Gerard, who’s messed

Up my trust, late with rent, though we discussed 

A week ago that it was due. If I 

Don’t get it paid in I’ll have to insist 

He returns the keys so that I can try

And get some other lodger. No reply

Yet. He’s weird, starting to wonder if he

Is right in the head. Second worthwhile task

Was going into Benson’s Beds nearby

Old Trafford. Where’s my bed?  Paid in July 

But must wait til November. Not the best!

5137 - Friday night

Oh what fun Friday nights are in my flat 

Actually it was fine, I’m just joking 

Having a clean Friday night having had

Some beers last night and now was detoxing 

I knew this was right, this recovering 

Particularly after the hard week 

Of work I’ve had, that although challenging 

Has also been exciting, a unique 

Feeling of fulfilment, even a sneak

Suspicion that at last managers take 

An appreciative view. Makes me proud that

I’m appreciated. It’s a great feeling 

Finished watching Narcos. Was hard to take

Seeing Escobar escape justice, but

At last he bit the bullet, was dying

Fri 18 Sep

5136 - Thursday Thursday

Woke early once more, earliest start ever

Computer on at quarter to seven 

Worked hard and finished shortly after four 

And through my window I noticed the sun

Dog tired, but would I under-sleep again?

That was my worry. It keeps happening 

So getting beer in was my solution 

Sat on the balcony and basking in

The mid-September sun was so tempting 

I deserved it after my hard work for

So many hours. It’s just an easy win

And a proven method of relaxing 

After the sun set, chicken for dinner 

Watched TV, then flopped into bed - gone!

Thur 17 Sep

5135 - Early bird

Woke up at five past six and decided

I’d get up, have a tv breakfast, then

An early start to work would do me good 

Had meetings later, so could get stuff done 

And then join them in a good position 

That’s how it went. Did my exercises 

Too at lunchtime. And then the work went on

Til four thirty. Ate chicken, pasta, peas

Plan was to talk to Josephine, but she’s 

Got too much work, like me! And so instead 

Just sitting binge-watching television 

Watching the second series of Narcos 

Pablo Escobar, he escaped and hid

From the cops once again. Such frustration! 

5134 - Helen again, or

Yesterday while drinking and sunbathing 

Helen was messaging and we arranged

A visit from me, us both expecting 

Tomorrow to be sunny, but it’s strange 

That it didn’t happen. The weather changed 

Still warm, but lots more cloud, quite dark and grey 

Just as well the visit was called off. Tinged

With disappointment but gave me all day 

To work hard and fast and to clear my way 

Through mounds of work, no need to go rushing 

For the bus there and later on, unhinged 

By drink (which I didn’t need anyway)

Getting the late bus back. Now relaxing 

And rehydrated from yesterday’s binge

5133 - Drinking weather

So nice today it was sunbatheable 

My first day’s work for 10 days, and thanks to 

A clean day on Sunday I did quite well 

Starting at 7:15, working through 

Til 4:15 roughly, but seeing the view

Through my window, a sunny afternoon 

The sunbeams through the window and the blue

Sky so inviting, I messaged Helen 

And confessed I might have to get booze in

And that I did, as quick as feasible 

Soon I was on the balcony, renewed

Happiness with my shirt off, having fun 

Could be the last warm day this year, so hell!

I don’t regret this lapse. And cheers to you!

Mon 14 Sep

5132 - Playing’s the thing

Cloudy at first but really became nice

Was supposed to be going out for a drink 

But I was pissed off, cancelled it. The skies

Were in the end bright blue, clouds seemed to shrink 

Finished ‘Away’ on Netflix, not watching 

Anything so far today. A film’s not

Out of the question. Had trouble finding 

The ones I wanted, maybe YouTube might 

Have them. This morning, tried again to put

The chair together and nearly success

But I’ll need help from Gerard with holding 

It in place while I tighten the screws right

And still not sure when he’ll come. Guitar-wise

A great session, and comedy filming!

5131 - Chair chore

Nothing’s ever easy, not when I try

To do a household chore, like a flat pack

Dining table and chair set. The chairs - why

Don’t the pieces fit together?  I cracked

The table eventually and it rocked

Moved optimistically to the first chair

And I struggled to get the screws all locked

In place. The legs seemed too close together 

But still I can’t screw on the damn upper

Back rest, it’s not wide enough! What do I 

Do? All I can think of is WTF?

Maybe Gerard, who is an engineer 

After all, can solve it when he comes by

He’s moving in this weekend, so I’ll ask!

5130 - Depressed Feet

Waited all day for table delivery 

Posted my Mum’s signed legal document 

And when all done, I felt recovery 

From yesterday’s relapse and confident 

To think of a new sketch, but it didn’t 

Come as easy this time. No, I rewrote 

It several times, found it hard to prevent 

The depressed penguin striking a sour note 

But I’d dyed my hair black and so I fought 

Against giving up. Was in a hurry 

A race against mental freeze, but I meant

It. Had to film the sketch before I ate

And it was getting dark, but bugger me

I did it!  This pilgrim did not relent!

5129 - Successful shopping trip

So after yesterday’s failed shopping, thought 

I’d go to Manchester centre today 

But changed my mind, went instead to Salford 

Shopping City. Might be cheaper and they

Might have more choice than Salford Quays mall. Way

Cheaper as it turned out. New boots only 

Twenty quid. Bargain back in January 

Twenty-four quid in Ashton but now see

Shoe Zone in Salford for cheap shoes! Got me

A toaster and I even could afford 

A new dining table and chairs, eighty

Quid, plus twenty more for delivery 

And they’ll remove the old ones. But my bed

From Benson’s, now there’s two months more delay ☹️

5128 - Failed shopping trip

That’s a high street in Scotland on a grey

Late afternoon just before hard rain fell 

That was two weeks ago or nearly three

But now it’s about yesterday I’ll tell 

A nicer day, quite warm, off work, so while 

I’ve got time I thought why not go shopping 

Despite walking to two shopping malls, all

Was in vain. Neither malls had shops stocking 

Either a toaster or boots replacing 

My worn-out ones. But still I made my way 

Around the Quays. A good walk but I felt

So tired when I got back, was soon dozing 

For an hour on the sofa. Then okay 

Enough to do comedy, went quite well!

Wed 9 Sep

5127 - Loudmouth on drugs

Last night I woke at about 4 to hear 

Someone shooting their mouth off stood outside 

And yet it carried on more than an hour 

Whenever I started to doze off, I’d 

Hear him again, and a woman beside 

Intrigued, I got up, stood at the window 

And looked out into the deserted night 

No sign of anyone. But from below 

Came those voices again, the man’s voice so

Loud, from a ground floor flat, I think. Now where

Was he, and despite the late hour, so fired

Up, disturbing the peace? Was he on blow?

Eventually he shut up, I could clear

My thoughts, relax and sleep, since I was tired

5126 - Old films

Yesterday, old guitar, today it’s old 

Films that dominated. Filling a box

With unwanted DVDs, grabbing hold 

Of most of them to be honest. It sucks

Having them clutter the closet. Few looks

At what’s in there, sentimentality 

Not so strong as I thought. And now Netflix 

So really I think a big clearout’s the

Appropriate thing. To the charity 

Shop! A few I’m watching once more. I’m cold

Towards them too, however. I’m the fox

And they’re the chickens, they’re the doomed poultry 

Three Sisters- that was boring, how it rolled 

On and on. Get rid, create space, it rocks!

5125 - Old guitar

My proper old guitar from ‘82

My first one, ninety quid from Birmingham 

When I was a student it was there too 

In shared houses and bedsits it would stand

Propped up against the wall, but understand 

It I never did. Couldn’t be bothered 

As usual, simple chords were all my hand

And brain could cope with. My approach was flawed 

Tried learning from books, memorise a chord

Pattern and thought that was enough. But who

Gave me advice? A guitar tutor man

I met at a medical trial who thought 

I should just jam to records, and that clue 

Led to tonight. Picked it up, played it. Wham!

5124 - I thought I heard talking

I thought I heard talking then from below 

That’s very rare, no exaggeration 

The man who lives there doesn’t seem to know 

Anyone, and never talks on the phone 

Day or night all he does is cough or moan

Sometimes a yawn or singing to himself 

Not a tune, just an ape like kind of groan

He sounds happy enough all on the shelf

Silence doesn’t affect his mental health 

It seems. Reclusive but seems he won’t go

Or change. But when the film I watched was done

And my flat became quiet too, I held

My breath. Was that him talking down below?

But if so, it soon stopped. So it goes on...

5123 - Short week over

The gut problem was still here by morning 

I took the fourth tablet out of the six

They are running out, it was worrying 

However, today’s tablet seemed to fix

The problem, at least for now. Been a mixed

Short week at work, with illness, but the new

Person I manage began work, and fits

Pretty well into the team and spoke to

Tracey G one day, then to Jacqui Q 

Today. Yes, Dean is now up and running 

And I hope that there will be no conflicts 

I shouldn’t think so, he’s affable. Blew

Off some steam on guitar, felt good switching 

To plectrum, easier on the fingertips

5122 - Just when you thought it was safe

I continue to suffer with this bad

Dose of diarrhoea, one week almost 

Then, tired after work, suddenly thought that 

It’d be worth trying the pharmacist 

So went to Sainsbury’s, seems like I have missed 

A trick or two. Got Imodium to stop

The diarrhoea, dehydration and lost

Energy. Also advice, like just drop 

Dairy products. Just got milk from the shop

But never mind. Went to bed but then got 

Up during the night and again it gushed

Out of me like a waterfall. A flop

Then, the tablets, it seemed. And so I sat 

On the loo at 5am, like a ghost 

Thur 3 Sep

5121 - Shit still happens

How long must this gut problem continue?

It’s handicapped me now for six long days 

And I’m working now, struggling to get through 

At least I could relax, Bank Holidays 

Are for watching box sets. I deserve praise 

For the watching I accomplished, weekend 

Just gone. Considering how long this bug stays

I’m wondering if I should maybe amend 

My self-diagnosis. Can I defend 

Food poisoning from cheese as the cause? Could you?

Or is it E. coli, enteritis 

Or something like that, robust bugs that spend

Days in your system? That dirty flat! Who

Knows what germs festered from previous renters?

5120 - U-turn on the road to health

I spoke too soon in yesterday’s sonnet 

Although I had a good long sleep last night 

I wanted to stay in bed, although it

Was getting towards 9am. Not right 

When my new member of staff might be quite 

Worriedly waiting for instructions on

His first day working for me. Did 3 shites 

Within the first hour, appetite all gone 

And when I spoke to him, was shocked to learn 

My voice was worn out. Couldn’t believe it!

It’s a recurrence of my weekend blight

Of food poisoning, gut-wrenching and churn

Of intestines determined to emit

Whatever’s up there. Unpleasantness’ height!