5034 - Knock knock, who’s not there?

Remember when you could go out and do

What you wanted without the restriction

Coronavirus has brought on all you?

Here’s a picture from a year ago when 

I attended a wedding. A question 

Was today put to Secretary of State 

When they could resume. Although now there’s some

Allowed in Northern Ireland, which is great 

They must be held outside, while England waits

For even this to be allowed. And two

Metres apart didn’t exist back then 

The deaths are going down now so they state

But will winter see us all rendezvous 

With a new wave of deadly contagion?

5033 - Jesus should have been in The Carpenters

Sunday, maybe, but no tidy attire

For me. Well, even if I was Christian 

I couldn’t go to church, meet the vicar

And discuss death or how to bake a bun

Because of lockdown and the gatherings ban

Although they’re going to change this soon, I hear 

They know the huge importance of this Man

Who spends each day listening to each fan’s prayer 

His favourite is his own, though - The Lord’s Prayer 

He’s proud of that, and Light My Funeral Pyre

His take on the Doors Classic, cremation 

Boogie, he calls it, but not everyone 

Quite shares his inappropriate humour 

Appropriate laughs? The vicar’s yer man

5032 - Hum ho

Said the miner to the dinosaur, have 

You seen my minotaur? No mate, said T

Rex. But, Welsh miner, you do make me laugh 

And so these two pals pass their days fondly 

Bantering on my window sill, with me

Secretly listening in to their wisecracks

I hear them discussing what’s on tv 

And how to correctly complete their tax

Self-assessment forms, of which they have stacks

The miner talks of fishing in the Taff

While T Rex plays Hot Love on his CD

Player. He also has a phonograph 

For his vinyl collection, liking tracks 

That remind him of old prehistory 

Saturday 6 June

5031 - I advance, masked

From June the fifteenth, on public transport 

In England, face coverings have to be worn

Thank God that recently I have ordered 

Some, and they look great. Pictures from Berlin 

And Israel where not long ago I’ve been 

They’ll impress everyone should I soon use

The train, tram, bus to get where I’m going

Which I will, since I’ve no car. Can’t refuse 

So get your masks, and you rush hour travellers

For safety, travel at quiet times instead!

Put these measures together and we’ll swarm 

Safely to our menial vital duties 

Serving drinks to our masters, frustrated 

They had no servants during full lockdown 

5030 - Fancy a night out?

Fancy a night out? No, neither do I

I’m saving so much money. Yesterday 

Paid two and a half grand towards paying my

Mortgage off, and going forward, that’s the way 

I want to carry on. Not safe anyway 

My toaster arrived by post. I was out

I went to the postal depot but they 

Were all locked up. On the gate was a note

Saying only open 7 til 9. But

On the card it said open all day. Why?

I’ll try again, early tomorrow. May

Have toast for breakfast. Such luxury - toast!

Boris did the virus briefing. Yawn. Try

To get Matt Hancock! He is so funny...

5029 - Nice

A nice kind of day, fairly chilled In mood 

Some good chats on the phone and work went well

Exercises and shopping and uke used

Now time to watch Villanelle try to kill

Eve, episode four. So far, been a thrill 

With European backdrops I have seen 

With my own eyes and walked each street or hill

Pre-familiarised every murder scene

So far it seems, Paris, Berlin, in dreams

Of free days without disease, brotherhood 

Of Nations now fractured, unity fell

Like the Wall, once the scene of nightmare screams 

Then freedom for the east from Russian boot

Now new hard times that live within ourselves 

5028 - My phone’s a pain

My phone’s a pain in the bloody backside 

Why can’t I download certain kinds of app?

At first there’s constant trouble when I tried 

To enter my passwords, it goes to crap

Then once I’ve reset them all, tells me, Stop!

There’s no internet connection, but then

My other apps work fine. So see me type 

This. How possible with no connection?

Maybe dating apps need more juice? Oh when

Will it end, this torment? The fates deride 

Me as though it gave sport. A dose of clap

Will sort those hussies out, straighten their grin

What to do? Shops open soon. I shall stride

In and buy a keyboard for my laptop 💻