5392 - Top tan

Went round Helen’s garden and got a tan

Sat for hours constantly knocking back beer 

She did a big spread of snacks while the man

Mark barbecued some veggie burgers - were

Too filling to eat much but she’d put care

Into it - veggie scotch eggs she had bought 

Knowing I liked them. Stilton, bread, butter 

Delicious. Now vodka with cranberry fought

Its way down my neck, resistance was short 

Never got wrecked though. Conversation ran

On til 2:15 or round about there

Slept on the sofa and remember nought 

But still didn’t get enough sleep, so when 

I got home, slept, now out in the sun here!

Sun 30 May

5391 - Hello sun

The first sunny day in quite a while 

Met Josephine first time in ages in

Town, went to Playersand filled up in style 

With just some fries and had milkshakes to drink 

When Vee and Louis arrived had chicken 

With very hot spice, almost a struggle 

Had to buy two cokes, helped to wash it down 

And the rest of the day I remained full

Sat on the grass with L and J, a real 

Long football talk, sunshine brought on a smile 

Jo caught the train home. Saw Louis begin 

To get nervous as Champions League football 

Loomed. His team, Man City, didn’t play well 

And sadly lost to Chelsea in the end

Sat 29 May

5390 - I just had sardines

I just had sardines, but didn’t enjoy 

Them all that much, cos I wasn’t hungry 

I ate them out of boredom, silly boy

I’d had bread not long before for tv

Accompaniment, Alan Partridge the

Occasion. Wanted choc lollies to go

With the show, but no time to buy. You see

I’d played guitar too long and there was no 

Time to go to the Co-op. I thought, Oh!

A Marmite sandwich would be just the ploy

To accompany Alan, and quickly 

Could be prepared, and indeed that was so

Then my tummy comfort was part-destroyed 

By sardines that were unnecessary 

5389 - Sitting in the sun

Caved in to getting beers though still Thursday 

And cos the forecast said it’s 3 degrees 

Warmer than tomorrow, that’s what they say 

These weather forecasters are such a tease

And now thanks to them I’ll do as I please 

And over the Bank Holiday weekend 

The sun will dominate the cheerful skies

Been invited round her house by Helen 

On Sunday, that sounds like my kind of fun

I’ve also got fun plans for Saturday 

Seeing Josephine and also Louis

So all’s sorted. I’ll sit on el balcon 

And watch the sun sink in the usual way 

It’s what men do - not sure about ladies

Thur 27 May 

5388 - Man Disunited

Man United are losing the final 

Of the Europa Cup there in Poland 

The second half is starting. Get the ball

In the other team’s net, d’you understand?

Imagining I’m the manager and

I’m giving the half-time team talk. Tactics

You see. Get ball in net - that’s my demand 

Manoeuvre that round thing between the sticks

And over the white line. Give hysterics

To their goalie. Now do you get it, pal?

It’s quite simple, I don’t need to expand 

And if that fails give their players some kicks

Sadly, the second half’s not started well

Man U are struggling. Not going as planned...

5387 - The quiet of my room

It’s nice to lie on my bed in the quiet 

Of my room, no distractions, background noise 

As faces on tv I’m trying not 

To pay attention to invade my space 

Instead I’m cocooned here, safe, they can’t raise

Their cacophony to disrupt my thoughts 

Instead I read, though silent sleepiness 

Crept up after one chapter. Ovid taught 

Of changes to animals that were wrought 

By the gods, or to rocks or trees, their spot

Fixed for all time. Did lunchtime exercise 

Pleased with that, second day in a row. Ought

To keep it up each day til Friday. Put

In for promotion again! Rats will race!

5386 - So funny

Fawlty Towers is still just so funny 

How many times I’ve seen that episode 

Of the dead hotel guest, but still made me

Laugh, or at least giggle, although I knowed 

Vaguely what would happen as each scene flowed

Into the next in time-honoured fashion 

Amazingly written, well I’ll be blowed

So envious of Cleese and his lovely hun 

Polly, who co-wrote it. Must’ve been fun

Sitting round the table with comedy 

Ideas flowing, in happily married mode 

Knowing they had a hit soon as written 

Got a Fawlty Towers teapot from Mummy

Never used. Hot tea might make it explode 

5385 - Avoidance of duty

It’s been a weekend quite enjoyable 

But one in which I avoided duty

I put it off - at that I’m reliable 

And this example was a real beauty

I had the time and opportunity 

Particularly Saturday, to make 

Some more films to post of my comedy 

But because I’d been too lazy all week 

To post last week’s films, was there need to break 

My restful mood, my oh so comfortable 

Bubble, after a hard week and Friday 

When I drank, which made me feel tired and weak 

To film more videos? Not so terrible 

To just relax at the weekend, surely?

5384 - Eurovision decision

I’ve watched the songs. It’s the long interval 

Before the voting starts, so I’ll write this

Mine and Josephine’s choice to win is all

The way up in Iceland, that was the best 

We commented on most songs as they passed

By on our screens in our two locations 

Her in Wilmslow, me in Salford. I must 

Say I enjoyed the duck I cooked. Buttons

Followed but post-duck I was just too full

To eat too many, put the bag down. It’s 

Something to look forward to. Votes time. Tons

Of countries are voting. UK are nil

Points, likely to remain so. Poor lad, bless!

5383 - Duller than Dulles

After work, drank beer cos it is Friday 

The rain didn’t stop me celebrating 

Listened to podcasts not music today 

Though had to sit back to avoid splashing 

Four bottles for seven quid is my thing 

It seems to get me drunk enough to stop

The proof was soon afterwards. Was dozing 

On the sofa, my earphones didn’t drop

But I did - that is, I dropped off to sleep

A long two-parter, I just lost my way

The Dulles Brothers was the subject. Bring

It on, I thought, but the beer made it flop

(Not in that way!) When I woke, I must say

Ate too much, then just tv watching 

Fri 21 May 

5382 - Israel and Palestine

Ceasefire at midnight between these two foes

Gaza has sent rockets and had some back

Israel blames Hamas, says what they say goes

And they want to wipe Israel off the map

There’s bound to be resistance though when trapped 

Like Palestinians are in a small space 

When I see footage on the news bang slap

In central Jerusalem, I retrace

My steps there four years ago, when I paced

Around it, and Tel Aviv, Dead Sea shores 

And Nazareth. While there, met some great folk

Hung out with them as I travelled the place 

Didn’t go to Palestine 🇵🇸 - I supposed

It’s unsafe, and too off the beaten track 

5381 - Busy sunny

Busy day at work, kept above water

The forecast promised sun but where was it?

It seemed to rain for hours. I sat there 

Working, looking through the window, a slight 

Chance, it seemed, that it would improve a bit 

But I had faith which was repaid, and went 

On the balcony, where I could just sit 

For a while, music in my head, and sent

Into a pleasant place. The forecast meant 

I did this today or miss out, for there

Would be no more sun for days, which is shit

After getting pissed, cooked tea, document-

ary on psychedelics used to cure

Depressives, then the news, the day’s complete 

5380 - 41 years

It’s 41 years since the dreadful day 

When Ian Curtis hanged himself at home 

No time to mark the anniversary 

However. Wrote a job application 

And that had to wait til my work was done 

Before starting. But I knew I’d manage 

I could re-use the words from the last one

I sent off two weeks ago. No message 

Yet on whether I’ve succeeded to catch

Their eye and get an interview. Will they 

Take a chance on me? No, I’m not Bjorn

But I can sing and have a great image 

If I make the next grade, I can make hay

To be better off is my ambition 

5379 - Too tired to sleep

So exhausted, a delayed reaction 

To the jab two days ago maybe but

Not sure. Felt ok til day’s work was done 

Then knackered. Ate my tea, then went to bed

To lie down or to sleep, couldn’t have cared 

I was there a long time but it took a

Long time before I dropped off, but I did 

Because after I got up to watch the

TV for a while, time came to retire

And I couldn’t sleep for an hour, reckon

I lay there worrying. This isn’t good 

I thought. Tomorrow I am bound to tire

Before I do that job application 

It’s the deadline day - or so I thought...

Mon 17 May 

5378 - Post-jabberwocky

I felt ok today after jab 2

Went for a walk expecting rain to come 

But it was warm and sunny, I had to 

Take off my coat as it was just so warm 

When I got back, Gerard seemed to have gone 

Just for a walk, well that’s what I assumed 

But he never came back. Got to work on

Comedy, recording some keyboard tunes

Not expecting the chance to get films done 

But after a few hours’ work, still alone 

In the flat. Cooked my tea, then thought it through 

And gambled that there was time to film some

Videos. Dyed my hair, back to my bedroom 

And filmed those songs, and completed 3 too!

5377 - Jabberwocky 2

My second jab this morning, should now be

Safe from serious infection. Now I feel 

Tired, but I’ve got through the day luckily 

Because there’s been stuff on TV. Final

Of the FA Cup was emotional 

Leicester’s fans really loving their first win

Even though I’m a Derby fan, rival 

Clubs in the East Midlands, got caught up in

The fan’s frenzied Wembley celebration 

Then I watched a music documentary 

Or two. Folk music, Paul Simon revealed 

And right now some John Lennon stuff is on

Ten photos that represent periods he

Went through. An early night though has appeal...

5376 - Knockin it back

Sittin’ back and knockin’ it back all night 

On the balcony, well, til it got dark 

From mid-afternoon til the end of light 

Mahler flew by as if a moment’s spark

Before that, listened to some podcast talk-

About Angie Bowie, Janis Joplin

Three episodes on the latter, light work 

Interview with a football hooligan

Then music from the Undertones again 

There Goes Norman, of that I don’t get tired

Then Mahler’s Second drifted by, I’d stalked

Drunkenly out for more beer, two more cans

Following four strong bottles. I was tight

As they used to say, didn’t give a fuck

5375 - Short day, long talk

Managed to finish work early again 

Used up more flexi credit, it’s twenty 

Hours now, used to be fifty, what a pain

But it’s at normal levels now, I’m free

To start taking annual leave, holiday 

Ideas discussed with Helen in evening 

Greece is her first choice, if it’s sunshiny 

Then there’s city breaks we were discussing 

Like Warsaw and some memories of Berlin

And perhaps going to Hebden Bridge, attain

Some tarot cards, they sell them aplenty 

And go to the pub of course. And driving 

Places, me driving, her drinking, what fun!

This could happen this year, this summer, wheee!!!

5374- Who cares?

Another good day but who really cares?

Finished quite early, got beers in, the sun

Came out after the hail and thunder scares

Uninterrupted, the balcony was fun

The sun shone on my legs and I was warm 

Now listening to football, Arsenal Chelsea 

Not bothered who wins, who will win, who won 

It’s nice to know I don’t have to worry 

I’ve finished my delicious pork belly 

Definitely not culinary nightmares 

Love it when all daily duties are done 

And you can relax and just be silly 

Outside the sky’s blue, pink clouds drift in pairs

Heading towards the summer once again 

5373 - Good healthy day

Back into my exercises again 

Got on the mat while a boring meeting 

Was going on and I had not spoken 

For ages, so I got the mat out in

The bedroom, but I carried on listening 

Hoping they wouldn’t interrupt me with

A question. Also I went out walking 

After work. Was lucky, to tell the truth 

Not to get caught in a downpour. So both

Mat and walk completed today. Now when 

Did I last do that? True, been on smashing 

Long walks recently, but my tummy girth

Has threatened to expand, been stuck within 

The flat too much this last year, just sitting 

5372 - You have to be good sometimes

It’s a be good day, though I felt tempted 

After finishing work to sit outside 

I overcame it by cooking instead 

Even though I was not hungry inside 

Not at all!  But I have a bit of pride 

At getting through it, and I should feel fine 

Tomorrow hopefully. Trying to write 

This while watching Motherland, and my mind 

Is not on the job. Though it’s the tenth time 

I’ve seen it, Fawlty Towers - still guaranteed 

To cause belly laughs. It’s hard to decide 

If it’s the script or the acting. Decline

In standards now, new series has started 

Of Inside Number 9. Better outside?

5371 - Banks of the Irwell

Sunday’s best for walking in the country 

Along the banks of the River Irwell 

Of course it’s not the countryside really 

But feels like it once in Lower Kersal 

And from Castle Irwell, follow it all

The way to the cemetery and beyond 

I walked the opposite bank from normal 

Got lost among houses trying to find

The park entrance, but got there in the end 

Found a shop - useful, since it’s the only 

One near the route as far as I can tell 

Bought crisps and banana flavoured milk and

Enjoyed that drink, walking in woods on the

Other side of the river from usual 

5370 - Football frenzy

Exciting end to the football season 

Midweek two wins for England in Europe

Man City and Chelsea are both now in

The final of the European Cup 

As for today an almighty fuck-up

By Derby. Couldn’t beat Sheffield Wednesday 

Only Rotherham’s defeat saved us the drop

Louis called to discuss. He’s on his way 

To Manchester, late May bank holiday 

It’s a while now since I have seen my son

Man City meanwhile once more have slipped up

Against Chelsea who they’ll meet in late May 

In that big final. Match of the Day’s on

This Covid-hit season soon now will stop

5369 - Great stuff

Oh what a nice Friday evening. The sun

Was in a struggle with the clouds and rain 

But despite a soaked balcony it won

In time for me to sit outside and gain 

Some enjoyment and warmth to soothe the pain 

Of a hard midweek job application 

No, I was able to sit out and learn 

About Rush Limbaugh in a podcast and

Before that, heard Bowie’s ‘Heroes’ album 

Four bottles of beer enough to get stunned 

Left in peace too, Gerard’s gone away 

For the night, though no doubt that pair will come 

Here tomorrow afternoon, so I’ll turn

My efforts in the morning to my aim

5368 - Relax, don’t do it

What a nice easy day it was today 

Compared to the madness of yesterday 

That was all work but this seems like all play

It’s just as well, too much work doesn’t pay 

You get paid for enough work done but they 

Don’t pay you to wear yourself out, no way 

Took the afternoon off, walked round the quay 

Felt peckish, ate my tea and then thought hey

I’ll play guitar today and then I may 

Play keyboard tomorrow or the next day 

In the news today, fish wars near Calais

Well Jersey actually, not far away 

Result of Brexit, fishing ain’t okay 

But it’s done now, Brexit is here to stay!

5367- The longest day

Yes, today was like D-Day, oh so long

Still recovering from a binge on Monday

I did a full day’s work but still on song 

Enough to spend all evening my own way 

Which in this case meant applying for a

Amazing job in BEIS - hope I get it!

Hydrogen policy in the UK

I’ll lead in its development and fit

The profile they want, that’s without a bit

Of doubt. So engrossed I was, not among 

Those tuning in to the match where Chelsea 

Beat Real Madrid, that team truly bit

The dust, deservedly. The highest rung

Has been reached by two English clubs, wa hey!

5366 - Football in bed

This is rare luxury. Resting my head 

On the pillow, tired and aching because 

Of yesterday’s exertions, I’m in bed

Listening to European football wars 

Man City home to PSG (Paris)

The stadium’s nearby, here in Manchester 

Louis, my son, supports City, all ears 

At this moment no doubt. Not too much fear 

At the moment, the Light Blues are now clear 

Of the French team and very much ahead 

My legs are aching, but why, goodness knows 

It’s gradually darkening, grey sky out there 

But I’m snug and warm here in bed. I’ve fled

From the balcony and all exposures 

5365 - Torrential reign

They said it would rain cats and dogs all day 

And evening too, but it wasn’t too bad 

In the end, when I travelled all the way 

To Leigh and back, by bus, so I was glad 

About that. But first I read more Ovid

Metamorphoses, his most famous book 

Got really into it, read a hundred 

Pages of often exciting tough luck

With powerless mortals literally fucked 

Or fucked over, then transformed. Sometimes they 

Became an animal or bird, some god

Took a dislike to them, even a rock

Was what they became if they didn’t obey 

In Leigh, watched films at Helen’s and ate food 

Mon 3 May 

5364 - My happy solitude disturbed

Was enjoying my peaceful long weekend 

But after watching The Doors on TV

Musical comedy video my intent 

After a backing track laid down on the 

Organ, thought I’d mop the floor, so mucky

It’s looked for a whole week now, but then just 

As I was looking forward happily 

To that after the mopping, voices crossed 

The hall, familiar ones. I thought, that must

Be Gerard and Fahima. And so went 

My chance of filming as Bony Tony 

I need privacy for that, or the worst 

Embarrassment could follow! Played keys, spent 

An hour walking, then watched Line of Duty

5363 - When you’ve got the flat to yourself

When you’ve got the flat to yourself it’s nice 

Undisturbed all day and all evening too

Out shopping, bought two lamps, one to replace 

The tall bedside lamp - couldn’t get a new

Bulb for it, they don’t sell them - so bought two

New lamps, the other’s in the living room 

Had lunch, then played the keyboard, learning to

Use the loop function, plays bass and rhythm 

Automatically, then played a Doors tune

It’s proving easy to play on the keys

Only about my third go, yet I do

Fine, it seems. Soon after, I start the wine

And then Pearl messages, a call follows

A long chat, then bought cans of Guinness brew

Sat 1 May