5119 - The road to health

It’s not the road to hell, it’s the road to health 

This morning my diarrhoea’s almost gone 

And by evening, bowels control themselves 

Can watch tv, no need to pause and run

Today, watching tv is what I’ve done 

Finished 30 Rock series 2 box set

And watched Les Miserables. Both have been on

My work desk since before lockdown, so great 

To finally move that pile of stuff and get 

Finished books and dvds off my shelves 

And to the charity shop next week some

Time, put them in a big box. Gerard might

Want room for his stuff. Though tired, couldn’t help

Playing my guitar - a mighty fine strum!

5118 - Convalescence

So as I said in yesterday’s sonnet 

Or at least in its title anyway 

It’s good to get back home, a cosy fit

When you’re food-poisoned, shitting night and day 

Not in that crummy flat where I had stayed

In Aberdeen. No wonder it was cheap 

Location good, but nothing worked, sticky

Floor, loud neighbours just when you try to sleep 

Grateful my illness waited, didn’t seep

Out of my bottom while still doing tourist 

Stuff up in Scotland, draining energy

Soiling clothes in a car where I don’t keep 

Replacement underwear, cos I don’t shit 

Myself normally. Being home is it!! 

5117 - Why it’s good when you get back home

Ok, it’s still Friday the 28th

Of August, the previous sonnet’s setting 

I’ve dozed for hours on the bus, should feel great 

But instead, tired and cold as I’m walking 

All the way home, with shoulder bag, dragging 

My red suitcase behind me all along

The cobbles and bobbles. I’m suffering 

(I realise very soon) from poisoning

By blue cheese that was warm and had gone wrong

On the last day of driving. Still I ate

Some of it, but then thankfully throwing 

Most in the bin. Slept blissfully a long

Night, but diarrhoea had become my fate

And all Saturday spent tired, shitting...

Saturday 29 August 

5116 - Magic bus

I took this picture while in Aberdeen 

It’s of the harbour, complete with some boats

And next to it you’ll find the bus station 

Where thanks to the alarm, made sure I rose

At six to catch the bus on the long road

To Glasgow, and from there to Manchester 

At this point, didn’t know I had swallowed 

Something that had made me ill. Didn’t care

I felt so tired on the bus that for hour

After hour I just dozed, looked at road sign

After sign, dozed again, didn’t suppose 

I needed to read, or could, for that matter 

Or even listen to music. Was gone 

With the fairies, tranquillised, hot and cold

5115 - Aberdeen Day 4

Ten and three quarter hours driving today 

No wonder I felt tired, and stiff legs too

Went so many great places all the way 

Just dropped off at the end. Missed turn-off to

Scone and it’s palace around 6, and knew 

Had to give up, go back to Aberdeen 

Besides, it was lashing down, staying true 

To the usual weather here, yes, even 

In August. The highlights were: Stonehaven

Dunnottar Castle, Crawton, Inverbervie 

St Cyrus, Montrose, Arbroath Abbey (who

Knew that was there?), Dundee, Tay Bridge Crossin’

And St Andrews. Out of way places, may

Never visit again. That’s sad but true!

Thur 27 Aug

5114 - Aberdeen Day 3

Eleven hours of driving, second day 

With the mint green Fiat hired car up in

Aberdeenshire. Drove round the coast to Moray

As far as Elgin, oh so much driving 

Some lovely small ports, harbours, boats, fishing 

Like Sandhaven and Rosehearty. Beaches 

Too, like Aberdour, empty. Exploring 

The distant caves, the sound of waves, crashes

Of foam onto the rock hypnotises 

Macduff was a lively place, I must say 

Shipbuilding, fishing, picturesque, living 

And vibrant, more than neighbouring Banff. What is

More pleasant than driving in Scotland, eh?

One more day of driving to come. Big grin! 😀

5113 - Aberdeen Day 2

Today was a day of relentless rain 

But while days of that type are usually bad 

This one was so much fun it was insane 

The best non-stop-rain day I’ve ever had 

First, some shopping in Aberdeen, then sped

To the bus station, bus to the airport 

Found Easirent car hire in hotel hid

A nice turquoise Fiat 500. Sought 

The road to the mountains, and quickly caught 

It, seeing Castles Drum and Crathes, then

Banchory for lunch, Aboyne far inland 

Now in the Cairngorms, Ballater. I bought 

Some souvenirs in Braemar. Glenshee ran

On for miles. Perthshire, Angus. All so good!!!

5112 - Aberdeen Day 1

There’s my case in front of the door, waiting 

To be let in, frustrated as the sun

Was strong, and here I was, stuck, just wasting 

This precious good weather, ending so soon 

That tomorrow, weather wise, looks no fun

At all. Heavy rain, possibly all day 

At least today, after I was let in

I walked to the beach, filming the sea spray 

It was so sunny, couldn’t walk away 

From the promenade ice cream shop! Walking

Along the prom, eating it, thinking, ‘Yum’

That precious late August blue sky was grey

Huge clouds like a tablecloth covering 

It all, feeling chillier, but still, job done! 

5111 - The return of travel

I packed my bags early and in the end 

Recorded Teddy Talks (on lingerie)

I’d finished watching Narcos, had to find 

A new series. The Fall stood out for me

As Helen has just watched it avidly 

And it kept me awake with no trouble 

Five hour-long episodes successfully 

Kept away the sleepiness that’s a real 

Risk of missing the Megabus which would seal

My Scottish holiday’s fate. I’ll defend 

It because this year’s disappointingly 

Been a big washout when the start seemed full

Of promise. Travel’s necessary to me!

5110 - August darkening

So it’s mid-August, darkening apace

It’s like April but going the wrong way 

It’s still okay but soon light is replaced 

By dark evenings when recently we’d play 

In the warm light of evening every day 

We get spoiled, think of eternal summer 

How many times do we think it’ll stay 

Each year we relearn this harsh lesson here

It’s hard if you’ve seasonal disorder 

But we’re naive, we’re forgetting our place 

A ball on the outskirts of Milky Way

It’s not static, though houses they appear 

To be, we’re moving constantly from place 

To place. That’s time, it’s movement. Hip hooray 

5109 - Darkening

Yes, it’s that time of year again when skies 

Are darkening earlier and earlier 

Kind of depressing saying our goodbyes

To light nights. And next year seems forever 

And breathing down our necks coming winter

Thankfully preceded by autumn’s calm

At least one thing making me feel better 

Is two holidays coming up, at home 

Here in the U.K., intending to roam

Mainly by car, in the mountains, four tyres

And one guy, all around Aberdeenshire

And two weeks later, further south I come 

To Somerset and Stonehenge. That’s the size

Of it. Try to enjoy this time of year 

5108 - Oh my

So it’s been hectic today but not bad

Thursday, nearly the weekend, but not quite 

A good day’s work followed by beers. It’s sad

Maybe but really it’s not all that shite 

So now I’m chilled and ready to relate 

That I’m holding my head above water 

And time to relax and watch something light 

And once again make out I have no care 

I suppose if you live like that it’s fair 

But we know there’s more than fair to be had

Having said that we also know the plight 

Of people with less who really suffer

But still we feel sorry for ourselves. What

Does that prove but our selfishness? Yes, quite 

5107 - Match of the Day 2

Match of the Day 2, that is the title 

Of today’s Bony Tony video

I loved it, the humour is so gentle 

The idea? I would strike matches but no

Matches would light. Now that has happened so

Many times, I was confident the box

Wouldn’t ignite any, but don’t you know 

The very first match lit up. How perplexed 

Was I, my sketch ruined, just off the blocks 

Thought about abandoning it. Life mocks

Again, it seemed, but then, no, wait! It’s full

Of irony, is this. A chance to grow 

The humour, better cos accidental!

And so it proved! It was a real Ho Ho!!

5106 - Hello there

Hello there, one more day, one more dollar 

Or pound maybe, since really I’m British 

Whatever British means, not really sure

Especially since Scotland, its oil and fish 

Wants to break away. It’s so devilish 😂

Talkin’ bout Scotland, I’m going up there 

Next week, can’t wait to see Aberdeen. Wish 

I had someone to go with, but who cares 

It’ll be great to see the hills, the bare

Landscape that I’ve not ever seen before 

I biked Scotland in ‘99 but missed 

That part, and soon I’ll make up for that, yeah

It will be cool, and I’m lucky for sure 

Driving around the mountains. I’m so blessed!

5105 - Orange is the new black

Yes, I’m about to start watching that show 

Orange is the new Black, Netflix TV

And earlier on today I thought I’d go

On the internet, see if I could see 

The meanings of favourite colours. For me 

It’s interesting and I would like to use

That knowledge in dating when finally 

I get off my arse and dip in my toes

At least the intention seems to refuse 

To go away. But how to do it, though?

To persuade someone to meet’s not easy 

But wanting to find someone, I suppose 

Is the starting point to finding them. Know 

It could be tough - or I could get lucky 

5104 - Ye Gods!

I don’t know why I called it Ye Gods, but

I did, so let’s live with it. Met Josie

In town, went to Gaucho, a place of meat 

From Argentina no less, and there we 

Had Sunday Roast, next door Cote Brasserie 

Was still closed for some reason, don’t know why

But Gaucho was a treat, culinary 

And to their credit they’re willing to supply 

As many gravy boats as you want. I

Can never get enough gravy. We sat

In Starbucks on Deansgate next, but quickly 

Had to leave cos they were closing, but why

When other Starbucks were still open? Not

Sure. Rain fell. Chatted with Tanya Honey. 

5103 - His generation

Watching a documentary about Keith Moon

Who? Yes, The Who. YouTube is on TV

Today I got up early, not too soon 

And began with the film, I, Tonya. She

Seemed hard done by, almost a tragedy 

Then I did some shopping, spent quite a lot 

Watched the first episode of ‘You’ then the

Essential tasks were done. Today I thought 

I’d be chatting to Tanya, but am not

So watching TV, sitting in my room 

I might listen to Manchester City

They’re playing Lyon. City haven’t got

Further in the Champions League, but the tune 

Right now is Fiddle About. Right! Goodbyee!

5102 - The heat is (still) on

They keep saying it’s getting cooler. Well

I’m in no rush for that to happen or

For colder, darker times ahead, so fill

The glass and enjoy these last weeks before 

Autumn comes around again. What a bore

But what a boring summer it has been 

It could have been so good, but no, one more

Damp squib, a big nothing, as usual. Bin

Gets filled with flies every time. Try trying

To keep ‘em out - you can’t! They rush pell- mell

Out when you open the lid, but I swear 

I don’t know when or how they first get in!

Spraying the bin helps. Gerard paid a call 

Collected keys. This weekend he’ll be here

5100 - That It’s Nearly Friday Feeling

Yesterday was Thursday and as often

Is, couldn’t resist a drink, though it’s not 

Yet weekend and there’s work tomorrow, son

It’s tempting when it’s sunny, nice and hot 

To sit out on the balcony, yes, but

I’d already sunbathed out on the grass 

Topped up the tan mainly made in May. Fought 

The impulse to get beer, but was no use

There were podcasts piling up and I guess

I had to hear them. Sure enough, listened 

To more than three hours’ worth. Then, time for Net-

Flix- Narcos is the next TV series 

I’m watching. Pablo Escobar - such fun!

Though slightly drunk, I kinda lost the plot!

5099 - In the heat of the night

Have we reached the end of this sunny spell?

It’s been hot for about a week, I think 

But they say storms are due. It’s hard to tell 

But the wind whipped up earlier. Had to bring 

In the washing before it went flying 

In the air, literally one sheet to the wind

Disappointed that Helen’s not coming 

On holiday with me, but never mind

At least there’s a new flatmate I have found

The first to view seemed to like it quite well 

And straight away he started transferring 

The rent and deposit by phone, godsend!

Pleasant surprise. Can take the ad down real

Soon then, I guess. If I can stop sweating 😅 

5098 - Nine o’ clock

It’s nine in the evening, the sun has sunk

But it’s so humid, it’s Humid 19!!!

The door’s open, get air circulating 

But dinner aroma from below’s been 

Entering through that open door, onion

Smell even making my eyes sting. I smell 

That geezer’s cooking through the floorboards on

Many an occasion, but this is hell

My eyes are stinging through trying to stay cool

Now that damn dog across the road’s barking 

It sounds even louder with door open 

Need an air rifle (joke, hey, can’t you tell?)

But at least it feels like summer. Not been 

Many days like this, this year - almost none!

5097 - Float my boat

Tired, woke early, but time to do most things

I needed to. Sadly, my ads have not 

Been answered yet, but I will keep trying 

That’s the new style, confident, not faint, heart

Don’t worry, it’s sometimes hard, but like sport 

You can enjoy it if you join in it

It depends on the attitude you brought

Have fun with a more positive spirit 

Plan and execute, focus, don’t submit 

For instance, today, I began planning 

A holiday in September, abroad 

The safest place, Ireland, we can visit 

Probably too late by then to go swimming 

But hopefully we’ll keep the year afloat 

5096 - Oh yeah

A simple self-diagnosis, a turn

Of a mental knob like as if mind was

A machine, which it is, like an oven

And things get done, and they get done with ease

Simple, same as bleeding radiators

With a simple turn, just the smallest tweak 

Realising what was wrong, it caused no fuss 

To change, and this weekend’s not been the bleak 

Lonely weekend it could have been. This freak

Has turned the corner, and is moving on

No social media had to help my cause 

Placed ads, did jobs in the flat, cooked, a work-

Out on my mat, two refreshing walks, done

Messaging, but my own needs they’re now first 

5095 - Saturday Success

What was the success? The one that stands out 

Is making a salad from ingredients 

Specially bought from Sainsbury’s supermarket 

And it was nice and filling! In a sense

It was easy despite my experience 

Being non-existent in real cookery 

I followed the recipe, and it went 

Well, though it was all new learning for me 

Mackerel and croutons, salad leaves. Tasty

With basil-flavoured olive oil on it

And Caesar salad dressing. So immense!

Not the type of food that traditionally 

I’ve liked or even been able to eat 

For the next few days, time to be healthy!

5094 - Friday Feeling

It may have been that Friday feeling, but

I forgot my sonnet diary entry 

Got caught up in podcasts, Netflix, forgot 

My sonnet, and for that I am sorry 

It was a pleasant evening, if lonely 

Actually it was fine. Good chat with Pearl

Promised I’d cook a salad recipe 

From a book she bought me for Christmas all

Of nearly two years ago. Hope I will 

Live up to that promise! More beer bought 

In fact I went to Sainsbury’s twice and the

End result, I dozed off in the middle 

Of Mindhunters, episode one, I thought 

It was boring? I was too drunk really...!!!

5093 - Incredible

Today, work wise, was just incredible 

I excelled myself, demonstrated I am good 

So proud of myself, best moment in all

These years, and that is understood 

Just had to get beer in and feel like God

This is the pinnacle of my career

I’ve got a new employee and he should 

Do well under my managership, we’re 

Two peas in a pod. Today I felt fear

I was asked a lot, but think I’ve done real 

Well in the time given, and proved I could 

Do anything within reason. It’s clear

Whatever they ask, I can do, so well 

I’ve lived up to my potential now, bud

5092 - Now

I worked hard and well, then celebrated 

With a few beers, and then spoke to Louis 

He’d been watching football yesterday, had

Forgotten he was supposed to speak to me 

He’s losing his job, inevitably 

How can I help, I thought, what can I do?

That’s one more thing on my list, one, two, three

Before that chat and after, listened to

Podcasts of all kinds, still doing that now 

I’ve added more podcasts to those followed 

Netflix and YouTube can wait as I see

How up to date news podcasts can keep you 

But now my brain is tired and awaits bed 

But it’s only ten, so I’ll watch TV

5091 - Where’s that boy?

Where is he? The one on the left? That’s me

On the right. On his left, when we were there

At just that moment of reality 

But on the right in the picture. Don’t stare!

But where is he now? Doesn’t remember 

We were supposed to chat, starting seven

O’clock, obviously! He doesn’t care!

Or maybe he’s out there having some fun!

I hope so. Time to cook, and just for one 

I’ve got quiche. Might eat it all - I’m hungry!!

Can’t have a spud with quiche, can I? Nowhere 

Says I can’t, but I just don’t think I can 

Too many carbs, I’ve got to stay healthy 

At least sometimes, unlike last night’s affair 

5090 - Oh!

Hey, what’s going on? You think you know? I don’t 

It’s Monday evening, the sun shone, but now

It’s night time and what was happening now won’t 

Instead it’s this so why don’t you allow 

Reality to break through anyhow?

This is the sixth line, must get to the point 

But no-one ever does, so then just how 

Should I? Maybe it’s time we should anoint 

The saviour to correct this out of joint 

World that we live in? But then what’s the point?

You try your best but then you just say wow

There’s no way they will give you an appoint-

Ment, so let’s carry on regardless. Spent 

Too long on this ship from the stern to bow

5089 - New sound

Yesterday went to this cafe, and saw

These records under the counter right there

And today it’s been ok. Scared before 

I finally did it - no need to be scared

Put Vee’s old sound system back together 

Not everything works properly as it should 

But I’ve avoided wires cross the floor 

The subwoofer works, so the bass lines thud

It’s a while in this flat since I’ve enjoyed 

That deep sound and even stereo speakers 

I can watch Netflix, YouTube, sitting here

In front of the TV, the sound’s so good!

Can’t seem to Bluetooth to my phone, so there’s 

No amplified Spotify - such a bore!

5088 - Walking

I haven’t walked so far since don’t know when 

From home to Vee’s in Ancoats, to collect 

A cable for the TV, back again 

Via Wilco’s and Holland and Barrett 

Then out again but this time wearing shorts

And trainers, as it was too hot for jeans 

The Gay Village was where me and Jo met

Wondered where to eat, we found a genius 

Jamaican place, the food filling our skins

I had goat curry, delicious, best main

For absolutely ages. Walked a bit

Sat on a bench, watched Midland Hotel scenes

Archies milkshakes followed, she caught the train 

And I walked home and watched my TV set