5056 - So hard

It’s so hard to say sorry or connect

When your pride takes over your common sense

But I did it, kind of, and why neglect 

Your true feelings when they are so immense 

You’re feeling glum all day. No recompense 

For throwing friendship away even when 

It feels right, if it leaves me feeling tense

Listen to yourself, heart not mind and then

You’ll know you should be sticking with this friend 

It’s not weak but strong, it’s my choice, now next 

After saving that friendship - add more friends!

Work’s going well too. Everything depends 

On me, I earned what I’ve got. Don’t deflect 

From the path through pride. Don’t be a bell-end!

5055 - Bunch of fives

The number of today’s diary entry 

Has three fives in it. My favourite number 

Appears thrice, yes, there’s fives one, two and three

I wonder why five’s such a cool figure 

Its shape is Arabic, its curvature 

Exotic, sultry, fine art, all of those 

Its origins somewhere in Arabia

I once studied Arabic, its letters

And the most common sayings and phrases 

A union course, cheap, academically 

Frankly not so good, real mediocre 

I’ve still got my notebook from that old course 

Of course, travel nowadays ain’t easy 

But I’ve been places that use that scripture 

5054 - Football’s back

Live soccer on tv first time I’ve seen 

For a few months. They’re creating crowd sounds

But there’s no-one there. Empty seats the scene 

It’s the FA Cup quarter-final round

It seems so weird all these huge football grounds 

Are empty, and also it’s now late June 

This is an April game delayed as towns

Became deserted. Until we’re immune 

We may not go back to big crowds, packed train

Tram bus street or grandstand til a vaccine

Is ready. Until then keep your head down 

Look after lungs and don’t let blood thicken

You may never get healthy as you’d been 

Take it seriously, don’t all act like clowns 

5053 - Manchester adventure

Walked into Manchester. Wasn’t my plan 

I just wanted to see if the local 

Charity shop was open yet. You can

Buy cheap second hand furniture. Table

Is what I need. The last one took a fall

I knocked and broke it as I mopped the floor 

But no luck. Still closed!  Then I thought I will 

Take my weekly walk now, since I have more 

Time on my hands it seems more than ever 

Computer repair shops where soon I can

Get a new keyboard, that became my goal 

Did that and asked in O2 why the poor

Apps performance on my second hand phone. 

Seems it’s too out of date! That’s so uncool!

5052 - Drink Day 2

Because I was off work Thursday this was 

My second day of drink though still Friday 

But I was good, first did exercises!

The sun was hot and with humidity

Humid-19 I joked in a friendly 

Chat while working away in living room 

Listened to Disgraceland podcasts, least three

Or four, Studio 54, Prince, and boom -

Two new Jim Morrison stories. The sun

Wasn’t as hot but still pleasant of course 

This June hasn’t been as sunny as May

In fact this month has been a lonely one

So I decided I should advertise 

My spare room tomorrow, dispel that gloom!

5051 - Day off brush off

A lovely sunny day as they forecast 

So I took the day off, intending to

Sunbathe. In the end I gave it a rest 

Because it was so hot yesterday, too

Soon to go out again, not unless you 

Wanna get burned, that is, so I stayed in

Watched loads of Netflix stuff, but chat fell through 

I thought we’d agreed but fairweather friend

Let me down not for the first time again 

Watched more tv on my phone, and podcasts 

Had loads of booze in already, a few

Bottles of beer and then some Lisbon wine

Sunny balcony evening was well passed

Last thing I watched - a Ted Bundy docu...

Thur 25 June 

5050 - The heatwave’s back

The heatwave’s back, but only for two days 

I worked until two in the afternoon 

Then got myself outside, catch the sun’s rays

A chance at last to top up my May tan 

In advance of tomorrow’s day off when

I can do it again. Too tired for much

So I’m listening to podcasts - Disgraceland-

Joe Exotic and Ozzy Osbourne kitsch

Then there’ll still be time later on to watch 

More tv on my phone and pass the hours

And go to bed early. Welcome back, sun!

This midsummer time is the top time, natch!

The sun stays in the sky without a pause 

Until it sinks down between nine and ten

5049 - Freedom for now

BoJo has been today announcing that

Venues can reopen. Back in March when

I went to Prague for one night with Helen 

It all started to close, our trip fell flat 

And similar lockdown followed here, my flat 

Becoming my prison, though savings made

In rarely venturing out or buying at

The computer like so many have had

Amazon sprees, comfort shopping gone mad

Today in Parliament we heard him state

 Pubs, restaurants, cinemas will reopen 

From the Fourth of July, and could have stayed

The night in hotels after. Celebrate 

But the virus continues to threaten 

5048 - Easing up

It’s bean so hard but things are easing up

Stuck in lockdown but things are easing up 

Can go out more now things are easing up 

Can go shopping now things are easing up 

Can see my friends now things are easing up 

Can get excited things are easing up 

Can make more plans now things are easing up 

Can celebrate now things are easing up 

Can be happy now things are easing up 

Can look forward now things are easing up 

Can go places now things are easing up 

Can do all sorts now things are easing up 

Can do it all now things are easing up 

Can put things right now things are easing up 

5047 - Staying alert

A picture of Verona yesterday 

My daughter’s first excursion from Milan 

Since lockdown months ago. What a great day 

For her! It looks so nice! Meanwhile I am

At home, saving money as best I can

Paying off my mortgage my priority 

And filming comedy to attract fans

Also I’m reading more than recently 

Currently enjoying Noam Chomsky 

And online tv on my phone. Since May 

I’m making up for lost time. Think Mayans

MC will be the next show. BBC

Screenings end tonight with episode 10

So I’ll begin episode 1 today 

5046 - Return of Bony Tony

There’s my rubber plant next to my guitar 

And just to the right, although out of shot

Is my desk where I work and also where

I filmed a new video six minutes short 

My first comedy film in a month. Fought 

Against maybe not apathy but fear

Crazy since views have gone up quite a lot

Recently and of course that helps to cheer

Me up at a time when I’m stuck in here

But like my son who’s used this downtime for

Useful purposes, on furlough, to write 

And refine his new film script. A career 

Could beckon if it goes well. And so there

Are good sides to the lockdown we can spot 

5046 - Return of Bony Tony

There’s my rubber plant next to my guitar 

And just to the right, although out of shot

Is my desk where I work and also where

I filmed a new video six minutes short 

My first comedy film in a month. Fought 

Against maybe not apathy but fear

Crazy since views have gone up quite a lot

Recently and of course that helps to cheer

Me up at a time when I’m stuck in here

But like my son who’s used this downtime for

Useful purposes, on furlough, to write 

And refine his new film script. A career 

Could beckon if it goes well. And so there

Are good sides to the lockdown we can spot 

5045 - Hey

Dig this rocket, man, I am the rocket 

Man, man, ain’t no doubt, what you might say, no

Can you say anything other than it?

Probably not, so get back where you go

This ain’t no land of sunshine or of snow 

This is the land of shit and nonsense, yes

This is not Britain and not Monaco 

This is the land where bowls of salad mess

With your mind and where struggling minds digress 

They’ll never quite know everything though but 

What they’ll know is what they will never know 

Except for what they think 

5044 - Thursday former booze day

I’m pleased with my progress vis a vis booze

Confining it to Fridays, Saturdays 

Is going well. Discipline. Boundaries 

And finding things to do that pass weekdays

The main new thing is Netflix. Only May’s

Recent days I began and caught the binge

Watching bug that has gripped the world. Amazed

The way evenings fly by. Books too. The range

Of things that I couldn’t enjoy arrange

Themselves on the shelves of my mind, and queues 

Form of things to watch, listen to, replace

Just music which was all I had, so strange 

Music’s improved with drink, but less so these

Other things, things where concentration pays

5043 - Rubber plant man

What a nice surprise! For Father’s Day, Pearl

Ordered this rubber plant for me. Phone rang

While I was cooking eggs and beans. On grill

Were three pieces of toast nicely browning

Turned everything off, grabbed keys, collecting 

This plant from the delivery lady stood

In the road just outside. Almost raining

She said the plant was low maintenance. Good!

Little water once a week but don’t flood 

The soil. Keep out of strong sunlight. It’s ill 

If the leaves droop. Keep them upright and strong 

Told Pearl I had the plant. We decided 

Its name was Jupiter. Oh what a thrill 

To be living with another being 

5042 - Nuts to you

It’s been a nutty day and fun evening 

Woke up real early but worked a long time

Managed a nap at tea time, just dozing 

For twenty minutes restored me to prime

Watched two Black Mirrors - Callister, a fine

Star Trek-style spoof but with a modern edge 

And then one where a mum crosses the line 

Inserts a chip in daughter’s head, a grudge 

Created as she spies on her. Image

Being done no harm right now, some good posting 

On Facebook, and multiple views online 

Of Bony Productions, my cyber stage

With lots of videos for your time passing 

Make you smile at home. Watch it and drink wine 🍷 

5041 - Miley Virus

It’s late so I’ll type fast punctuation 

Minimal ain’t got time to think bout that

Talking of sonnets that Shakespeare was on

Telly last night live Macbeth sort of art

In quarantine but it wasn’t so great 

Should’ve filmed some comedy tonight felt

Ok but used an excuse to depart

From that plan what was it oh yeah I meant 

To use soup in the fun sketch department 

But was too full because I’d just eaten

Fish potato mushrooms piled on my plate 

Tomorrow and tomorrow I’ll be bent

On finally filming it, thrice rewritten 

Think it’s time for new stuff. The fans won’t wait...

5040 - Tuscan walk

Memories of Tuscany and country walks

Actually no, this is me in Salford 

Tonight. Realised that probably a week’s

Gone by without a healthy scenic plod

And so once more round Salford streets I trod

Passing, near the end, those red brick buildings 

From St Ignatius Church to Salford Lad’s

Club, up Coronation Street now leading 

To Regent Square, and then I’m returning 

Home having resisted buying beer or fags

When popping into a small store. I bought

Some Vimto cordial and fizzy pop. Think

I could use it in a sketch. That stuff drags

A decent burp out of you, always good!

5039 - This is now

Weird world pictured when no one was out 

It’s not like that any more, people are

Treating life like normal, cars all about 

This was the Mancunian Way with no cars 

But now it’s busier and we don’t care 

Since Cummings took it all in his own hands 

And uncorked the genie just everywhere 

But I’ve still stayed isolated, my plans

To work from home and not meet any friends 

Let down by them anyway, so without 

A reason to do wrong, no bubble there 

I’ve enjoyed today, guitar playing hands

First time for ages, but I still rocked out

So pleased how well I played guitar

5038 - Yes

I don’t care about you, them, or no-one

Just myself til I find someone that’s right 

And if I don’t, that’s not my fault. They run

From me although I try with all my might 

But it does no good, because I’m not quite 

What they want, so I have to carry on

Best to appreciate my own delight 

And I do even though I’m all alone 

Most settle for mediocrity, disown 

Their spirituality and then they’re done 

But not me, I’ll live every day in flight 

Today has been good, doing what I want 

As every day is, and has always been 

I’m lucky to be me, can sleep at night 

5037 - Beef about the brief

If it hadn’t been for my tasty fish 

I’d have got more annoyed at the briefing 

With Matt Hancock employing statistics 

To try to get us congratulating 

Their performance which is overseeing 

The highest death rate in Europe and one

Of the highest in the world. It’s shocking 

Yet they display no shame about all, even

Projecting authority and wisdom 

Slides with lowering curves so we dismiss 

Anger at the death count that’s tormenting 

Thousands of families with dead relations

And millions staying indoors seeing trips

Defended when they’re taken by Cummings 

5036 - Not a bad day

Worked in the morning, popped out to Sainsbury’s 

At lunchtime, exercises on the mat

Tomorrow it’s yoga, that’s on Thursdays 

Wonder why I will need four paperbacks 

This time I think I should take off my socks 

Otherwise it can get quite slippery 

When I stretch and put weight on feet. My uke’s

Been used well every two nights recently 

After that, watched Masada DVD

To its conclusion, then heard Josephine’s 

Recommended album, that was from Sports 

Team - sort of liked it, but not massively 

Now watching Peston. Was the BBC’s 

Removal of Little Britain correct?

5035 - What I’ve been watching

Been enjoying tv more since starting 

To watch Netflix instead of terrestrial 

First I watched After Life, then soon moving

On to Dead To Me, Dogs of Berlin, all

Recommended, then Money Heist, middle 

Quality I thought, a documentary 

On Jeffrey Epstein, then the Villanelle 

Saga in Killing Eve, series one to three 

Finished last night. What next? A DVD

Called Masada, maybe, for reminding 

Me of my Dead Sea trip in Israel 

Although I’ve lined up some great stuff to see

On my own Netflix account, and gagging 

To binge watch and help keep evenings less dull

5034 - Knock knock, who’s not there?

Remember when you could go out and do

What you wanted without the restriction

Coronavirus has brought on all you?

Here’s a picture from a year ago when 

I attended a wedding. A question 

Was today put to Secretary of State 

When they could resume. Although now there’s some

Allowed in Northern Ireland, which is great 

They must be held outside, while England waits

For even this to be allowed. And two

Metres apart didn’t exist back then 

The deaths are going down now so they state

But will winter see us all rendezvous 

With a new wave of deadly contagion?

5033 - Jesus should have been in The Carpenters

Sunday, maybe, but no tidy attire

For me. Well, even if I was Christian 

I couldn’t go to church, meet the vicar

And discuss death or how to bake a bun

Because of lockdown and the gatherings ban

Although they’re going to change this soon, I hear 

They know the huge importance of this Man

Who spends each day listening to each fan’s prayer 

His favourite is his own, though - The Lord’s Prayer 

He’s proud of that, and Light My Funeral Pyre

His take on the Doors Classic, cremation 

Boogie, he calls it, but not everyone 

Quite shares his inappropriate humour 

Appropriate laughs? The vicar’s yer man

5032 - Hum ho

Said the miner to the dinosaur, have 

You seen my minotaur? No mate, said T

Rex. But, Welsh miner, you do make me laugh 

And so these two pals pass their days fondly 

Bantering on my window sill, with me

Secretly listening in to their wisecracks

I hear them discussing what’s on tv 

And how to correctly complete their tax

Self-assessment forms, of which they have stacks

The miner talks of fishing in the Taff

While T Rex plays Hot Love on his CD

Player. He also has a phonograph 

For his vinyl collection, liking tracks 

That remind him of old prehistory 

Saturday 6 June

5031 - I advance, masked

From June the fifteenth, on public transport 

In England, face coverings have to be worn

Thank God that recently I have ordered 

Some, and they look great. Pictures from Berlin 

And Israel where not long ago I’ve been 

They’ll impress everyone should I soon use

The train, tram, bus to get where I’m going

Which I will, since I’ve no car. Can’t refuse 

So get your masks, and you rush hour travellers

For safety, travel at quiet times instead!

Put these measures together and we’ll swarm 

Safely to our menial vital duties 

Serving drinks to our masters, frustrated 

They had no servants during full lockdown 

5030 - Fancy a night out?

Fancy a night out? No, neither do I

I’m saving so much money. Yesterday 

Paid two and a half grand towards paying my

Mortgage off, and going forward, that’s the way 

I want to carry on. Not safe anyway 

My toaster arrived by post. I was out

I went to the postal depot but they 

Were all locked up. On the gate was a note

Saying only open 7 til 9. But

On the card it said open all day. Why?

I’ll try again, early tomorrow. May

Have toast for breakfast. Such luxury - toast!

Boris did the virus briefing. Yawn. Try

To get Matt Hancock! He is so funny...

5029 - Nice

A nice kind of day, fairly chilled In mood 

Some good chats on the phone and work went well

Exercises and shopping and uke used

Now time to watch Villanelle try to kill

Eve, episode four. So far, been a thrill 

With European backdrops I have seen 

With my own eyes and walked each street or hill

Pre-familiarised every murder scene

So far it seems, Paris, Berlin, in dreams

Of free days without disease, brotherhood 

Of Nations now fractured, unity fell

Like the Wall, once the scene of nightmare screams 

Then freedom for the east from Russian boot

Now new hard times that live within ourselves 

5028 - My phone’s a pain

My phone’s a pain in the bloody backside 

Why can’t I download certain kinds of app?

At first there’s constant trouble when I tried 

To enter my passwords, it goes to crap

Then once I’ve reset them all, tells me, Stop!

There’s no internet connection, but then

My other apps work fine. So see me type 

This. How possible with no connection?

Maybe dating apps need more juice? Oh when

Will it end, this torment? The fates deride 

Me as though it gave sport. A dose of clap

Will sort those hussies out, straighten their grin

What to do? Shops open soon. I shall stride

In and buy a keyboard for my laptop 💻